There you are at nighttime,
Worlds away from who you’ll be at dawn.
You’re standing so close
I can smell your breath,
Or maybe it’s your hair.
Whatever it is it smells of flowers,
And I can feel my heart
Bloom bloom bloom-ing
Beneath its sheets.
I can see your eyes
Getting light years wider,
Or maybe I’m just getting closer,
But there’s more than one way
For a star to light up the sky.
You could be a whole galaxy if you wanted to.
Do you know that?
Your hair is already the colour of midnight.
Your lips are already the shape of infinity.
You already have planets orbiting your pupils,
And you have everything to teach me
About being so blindingly luminescent
And so fucking fragile
At the same time.
I'm always falling for girls who are arrows shot through the hearts of prodigal sons.
You've been in my head for days.
I've been clinging to your later
Like a shipwrecked sailor
Clings to the shattered bow
As the ocean tries to swallow him whole.
You swallowed me whole,
And you barely even opened your mouth;
Just wide enough for me to taste honey
And see stars that have been three nights creating haloes around my drunken head.
But you'll only hold my hand in the shadows;
You'll only ask me how I am if you know the answer will be
I've got you under my skin
But you're under it, girl.
You're seven layers deep,
And suddenly you're rushing through my bloodstream
And filling my body with a five-dime dream
That is only of your face.
Everyone knows that web of red veins
All lead back to the heart.
So I'm putting up fences
But leaving gaps between the posts
So when you’ve circulated my system
and I can feel you tingling electricity in every one of my cells
It’ll look like the bars I’ve put up were to keep you out
But really the space between was to let you in.
I’ll be shining a light so bright that maybe you’ll grow powdered wings
and flutter towards me like a moth who can’t ignore the flame for even one more second.
You’re more like a butterfly though.
When I look at you I see every colour;
I see grace and beauty, and in your voice I hear a melody so sweet it makes me wonder
whether you’re a girl,
Or if maybe you’re a songbird.
Maybe you build a new nest every night
From twigs and feathers and broken hearts.
You showed me a cutting of your old boyfriend’s hair
That you keep in your wallet
Because you dream of recreating him.
I thought if I knew how I’d make an army of this boy for you,
I’d carve his face from limestone
And give him blossoms for eyes
But I’d give him my lips,
So that when you kissed him I’d taste you.
And it’s not like I’d make you,
But inside my head we’re every day making each other laugh;
We’re every day running through dappled fields,
Calling each other’s names,
Smelling each other’s hair.
It’s the sweetest thing.
That’s all I really want to say
Is that you make me smile and dream,
And sometimes I’m looking at your face
For just a bit longer than you’re looking at mine,
And in the half-light I think,
Isn’t she beautiful.
it's all a bit masochistic, isn't it.
well maybe I am a little bit
but we just keep pegging our hearts to clotheslines
and stringing them out into the void;
tried to say
that i looked
like an elephant
as if to suggest
i were quite hideously fat
i told her
and that at least
maybe to the world
i am an elephant
i don't care
i just wish
before I sleep, i fix my sheets
and stack my pillows as if
a lover sleeps on my bed
i sleep and wake up alone, but
i wouldn’t mind waking up
to morning hair, sleepy eyes,
tired smiles and a long yawn
i wouldn’t mind waking up
before dawn, after dusk,
during the sunset or while
we’re under the stars
i wonder how lovers like these
are hard to find, because i bask
in the simplicity of mornings
for only in these early hours do i
truly know someone
maybe i have puzzles and traps
stuck on my hallway, or a
warning sign taped on my door
for none even bothered to knock
or maybe it is my refusal
to find any other
no one else sleeps on my bed,
because i’ve pressed all my sheets,
perfumed all my pillows, marked
my calendar and saved the dates
for nights and days with you.
I destroy homes.
I tear families apart.
I'm more costly than diamonds,more precious than gold.
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me,remember I'm easily found.
I live all around you.
I live with the rich,I live with the poor,down the street & maybe next door.
I'm made in a lab,but not like you think.
I can be made under your kitchen sink.
I have many names but there's one you know best,my name is Crystal Meth.
My power is awesome,try me you'll see.
But if you do you may never break free.
Just try me once & I may let you go.
But try me twice & I'll own your soul.
When I possess you you'll steal & you'll lie.
You do what you have to-just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms,will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms (your lungs & your nose).
You'll lie to your mother,you'll steal from your dad.
When you see their tears - you should be sad.-
But you'll forget your morals & how you were raised.
I'll be your conscience.
I'll teach you my ways.
I turn people from God & separate friends.
I'll take everything from you.
Your looks & your pride.
I'll be with you always-right by your side.
You'll give up everything,your family,your home.
Your friends,your money,then you'll be alone.
I'll take & take,till you have nothing more to give.
When I'm finished with you,you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned-this is no game.
If given the chance I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body.
I'll control your mind.
I'll own you completely.
Your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you.
The voices you'll hear from inside your head.
The sweats,the shakes,the visions you'll see.
I want you to know these are all gifts from me.
You'll regret that you tried me,they always do.
But you came to me - Not I to You!
You knew this would happen,many times you were told.
But you challenged my power & chose to be bold.
You could have said no & walked away.
If you could have that day over what would you say?
I'll be your master & you my slave.
I'll even go with you to your Grave.
Come take my hand,let me lead you to hell.
She was sitting there in her grey cardigan and self-satisfaction
And she said, "They're going to be putting a cap and gown on a chair for him."
And I said, "That makes me so sad. It makes me think of our 8th grade graduation.
Oh god. That makes me so sad." picturing a freshly ironed gown for a dead graduate
It was a few minutes later and the kettle began to whistle
And someone made some smart remark about some stupid topic
And I sighed and I said, "I just can't do it"
And she said, "Jeez, you’re just lacking emotional maturity today”
I excused myself and avoided her for the remainder of the day
I found myself a few people I might consider my friends (if anyone)
I sat down for a minute and said, "I just can't do it"
And the one turned his cigarette-yellowed teeth to me and said,
"They just aren't as cynical as you, huh?"
And I looked him in the eye and he smiled, meant nothing by it
Maybe just, "Shut up, will you? Just breathe for a minute"
And the other, with his slicked back hair and Tom Waits voice
Said, "Not everybody can be a female Louis C.K."
And I smiled and said, "Screw you"
Then I excused myself
And I found myself a quiet corner where I could collect the pieces enough
To hold myself together for two hours of calculated performance
Until I could go home
And quietly fall apart again
I probably never meant anything
to you in the first place darling.
I probably have gotten attatched
with no promises to look forward with.
I probably didn't have even the smallest
place in your broken and torn heart.
I probably gave you a reason for all those
days you purposely ignored me as payback.
I probably substituted your true beautiful lover
maybe I kept her spot nice and warm for later.
I probably loved you unknowingly quickly,
my heart never really had a limit at all,
especially when it came to you.
It is not enough to say sorry
It is not enough to plead
It is not enough to beg that you'll take all the rules in heed
It is not enough to bargain
It is not enough to weep
What I have to do is sob and scream and howl myself to sleep
It is hard for them to forgive
Near impossible to see
It is hard for them to step away and truly look at me
Maybe one day You will show them
Until then my words will cease
Maybe one day, this will be over
And on that day, I'll know peace
My love was not blindness;
Blindness was the only truth
You could take to be true,
Not as noble
As your love—
Your love was not blindness.
By no means, did
I succeed in masterng moderation;
With you my feelings, like my words,
Bursted excessive with awkward vim;
I couldn’t control the volume
And never realized proximity or intensity
Until you interrupted me
for yelling in your ear,
(You particularly hated yelling)
And I quieted down for a time.
Maybe I was too loud,
But of the words themselves
I should not have been ashamed.
My love was not blindness.
Blinded, could I have
Seen what you buried within yourself?
Believe me, I only wanted you
To greet the night happy, just once,
but, in aiding, all turned on me; unsuspecting,
I found myself under the dirt
Spiritless, struggling, suffocated.
My love was not blindness.
I deny Dostoyevsky’s distinction,
An error of translation, perhaps;
Even in the closest of languages,
One tounge will lack the means
of expressing a word essential to the other.
We’re the same person, we always said
But I couldn’t invoke that here—
Here where it mattered
More than it ever had.
Same person yet again,
Not one for eye contact,
If only you had been able to
Stare straight into your own
You would have believed me.
My love was not blindness.