I made it,
maybe i didn't get my fill?
could it be possible to be selfish,
I wanted to ask
a thousand and one questions.
I'd listen to every answer
Hang on every word.
I'd be your Captive Audience.
and there's nothing about you that isn't enthralling.
and there's no one who could sway me in this.
and there's no way
no fucking way
I'd let you die in my heart.
Please, Don't go oh so quietly into the night, Brave soul.
its so what if i hate you
i still want you to take care
out of all fake love brought us
i just miss the way you stare
at me like you think ill stare back
now its impossible for you to do that
its hardest when i breathe out
all of the air from my lungs
while clinging to the bottom
of this lake trying hard to die from
either this pressure or whatever
this death brings first to measure
how much water i can keep in my lungs
its brought me nothing now
holding onto love like life
its so simple living now
life like the steady breeze
i am coming out of the water
a new man for living now
they said i can choose
anywhere i want to haunt
but i chose the same spot
where i used to kiss you
when i would walk you home
now every visitor that we get
gets this strange feeling
that i never had. of not being alone.
babe i didnt dance for reckoning.
i chanted for it and with my brethren
at the time: hand in hand on the hill
tasting carnal lust for the first night
we kissed to romance andto redwine
smoking out of the finest rosemary and most potent tyne
i wish i could dream of my new love
because i found a brand new rose
and i got her good like the gods
they thought i deserve it i would
fuck it up on the first time it came
to town because my baby well
she dont want me right now.
i just dream of you or less scary things maybe a funeral for two.
she says i scare her well just as well
i only have seven years
to live and die on this planet of hell
4 when i go to heaven. 777
i aint taking any angels with me
and its just as well 666
but imagine one could save me
an unstoppable redemption
i appreciate beauty in grandeur
divinity but yet i am banned in heaven - life is subliminal
i could be a blade for these seven
years maybe even for the Lord himself
would sin be outweighed by all of that death
and that when i sit in purgatory
waiting to meet my makers
i got the chance to fill out an application
just like for one of my regular day jobs
it said apply to do it all over again
there would be only happiness
guilt free or worries negativities
and sorries. well BabyGirl i wouldnt
i would only start anew
and be different than you saw me
depending on how i saw you
from your video tape
depending on the look on your face
the nights i held you in our firey embrace
and determine if that was just
All I've ever wanted is a peaceful life...
even that I cannot achieve overnight.
War doesn't always mean getting against others into fight..
Sometimes, it's a battle within the same person inside.
I talk so loud just to make it stop.
I even hide, pretending through laughs...
But, that facade is not enough...
Maybe, I am not that tough.
It can keep me up til short hand strikes three.
Until when will I have to deal with thee?
Just unfair if only I can see..
In this for sure, I will be able to win..
I'm not crying but my heart is weeping.
I'm smiling but I don't feel like laughing..
I'm walking but I don't know where I am going..
I've been asking questions but You are not answering.
Waking up the next morning
The cross burns on my chest
Reaching, stabbing to my heart.
A one night stand
A single hazy passion
Now only a life without you
And I know when you find out
Your heart will break
And I'll break too
You won't find out
But the skeleton hangs
Stark white in my closet
Waiting for the world to see
The cross burns deeper
As my cheeks burn, embarrassed
That I thought to lie to you
Then I see you
The chain tightens
I can't stop myself
I tell you everything
Thinking maybe you'll forgive me
You just walk away
While I lay in his arms
I'm as happy as can be
Well, atleast that's how it seems.
Deep down, though,
I know I wish he was you
But there is not a thing I can do
You moved on
Cut me off
Left me behind
Believe me, if I could,
I would press "rewind"
Go back to the way it was
When I still had your trust
There one thing I have to blame
As always, it is lust.
I miss the days I spent with you
The nights on the phone
when I talked to you
You made my days so much brighter
So I'm just sitting here wallowing
Writing this letter
You left me, you forgot me,
I fell for you
And I shattered
But then again, I guess the past
Doesn't even matter
But it still hurts
Knowing you're gone forever
But maybe one day
There will be
A change in the weather
If that day ever comes,
And I cross your mind
remember it was your decision to leave me behind.
No, I'm not angry,
I'm just full of pain
I'm trying tos see the sunshine
But I'm stuck in the rain
I now know to keep my guard up
And never let it down
I swear to fucking god
No one will ever find a way around
Because you taught me that trust
Is hard to find
And wounds and scars and broken hearts
Are impossible to bind
Maybe when he was younger he watched the trees
The wind would go on by
And the trees would start to whisper.
And he would wonder what they were saying.
Maybe when he was younger he played games
His friends would kick the ball with faith in him
and He would make the winning goal.
Maybe when he was younger he would take his hands
And Steal a cookie off the dish of his mother
And he would grin and laugh with such innocenece when caught.
Maybe when he was younger he was a child
Others wanted to be
But we all know how he turned out in the end.
There was this kid Named Mark and when I met him I was drawn to him but not like it should be.
He had this thing about him that made him seem like he would be a politician despite his aspirations to be an orthodontist. The feeling I got wasn't good, Not good at all.
Every time you're near me,
I think of all the things we could be.
You hold me close,
And I tingle from my nose to my toes.
Despite all that, I never feel close enough,
So I squeeze you to me, like I'm big and tough.
Being intertwined with you is a feeling like no other,
When I'm with you I can't think, I don't even bother.
When we hold hands, I never want to let go
It seems unreal that you were a stranger not too long ago.
Where we were and where we are has changed so much,
And I feel it in almost every touch.
When your lips touch mine,
A shock runs up my spine...
But I try my damnedest to hide it.
You affect me more than I'd like to admit.
The way you look at me is something I've never witnessed before,
Day by day I realize that it's you I adore.
I wouldn't change a thing about you, not a single thing;
The way you make me feel makes me want to sing.
But in a few months, you'll be leaving me
To be that Navy soldier you've always wanted to be.
I fear that when you leave I'll forget your face,
And that while you're gone, it's me you'll replace.
All these scenarios play out in my head,
They keep me awake at night, sleepless in my bed.
I keep thinking about what would happen if you lost your life while you're gone,
It's not like a video game where you can just respawn.
I may be focusing on the negatives of this,
But what I have with you right now is pure bliss.
I don't know if I could handle losing you so soon,
My heart would pop like the fragilest balloon.
But through it all I must stay strong for you,
Because I know that's what you want me to do.
I'll keep my thoughts to myself, locked in my head
And keep these fears left unsaid.
Maybe someday you'll realize what you mean to me,
And when you do find out, I hope you don't flee.
It's not every day you meet someone as special as you,
My brain and my heart tell me that you're a person so true.
I'm willing to take this journey with you,
Because I know you'd do it for me if I asked you to.
I'll be here for you always, that's for sure
And when you leave, the pain I will endure.
I can honestly say I'm so proud of you,
And I'm sorry if it seems like I withdrew...
But without you, I'd feel so blue...
I'll make the time I still have with you the best I can,
Because you are one of a kind, an amazing man.
Every kiss from now to August will be a magical one,
And I won't let go until the fight is done.
Every time we're together, I'll hold you closer and closer,
And every day I'll strengthen my composure.
So many things I want to learn about you,
My Navy boy in blue...
But all I can do is hope for the best,
Because this will truly put me to the test.
Thank you for being who you are,
You are truly a shining star.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be close to you,
Because I know I don't deserve it like you think I do.
You are such a better person than me inside and out,
And that is something I'll never doubt.
Because like John Green so perfectly wrote,
"If people were rain," I quote
"I am a drizzle, and you are a hurricane."
You are like a cigarette, I can't stop wanting you,
Because every damn thing you do
Makes me shiver, makes me shake...
Sometimes I wonder if I'm even awake.
But let it be known, I care for you more than you'd ever know,
And I refuse to let it show.
Maybe someday we'll be officially together,
The girlfriend of a Navy soldier, one that can brave any weather.
Through thick and thin,
I'll never give in.
Through closeness and distance,
I will show no resistance.
God led me to you for a reason my dear,
So I shall stay with you, with or without my fear.
i thought that maybe i loved him
but it was never easy
were never effortless,
we were never comfortable,
and with you i could always
discuss tv shows endlessly, or drink pints of guinness;
scream at each other over a game of pictionary,
argue over who makes the best sushi.
i could hit you over the head
with a newspaper, and quote shakespeare
while doing the dishes,
i could sing duets from moulin rouge
in the streets with you and tell you
to stop stealing my lines (you can't be
both nicole and mcgregor)
and as much as i tried to deny it
at the end of the day
it's all i want.
do i have to title my poems
are these even poems
are they really
i don't think so
but it doesn't matter
i am writing
do these words mean anything
don't try to find meaning in this
there isn't any to be found
so, do i have to title these words
i wonder what they think
they probably don't like my words
maybe they would if i
gave them a title
but i don't
i am untitled
In my mind,
the fight was a result of your undying love for me,
an act of protection,
for your fair maiden.
I was the perfect damsel in distress,
dragging you away from the bad guy.
How I ever managed to daydream,
over the screams
and the struggling,
is beyond me.
As you gracefully caved in the guys skull
with your elegant knee,
painting a watercolour of red on the concrete,
I stood back and watched.
Each drop of blood,
that splattered the night scarlet,
mirrored a drop of the salty tears
running down my cheek.
I wanted him to get back up
and smash your beautiful face into a perfect Picasso.
He didn't do anything but lie in his own river.
I wanted to be washed away with it.
Instead, I had to watch you triumphantly step back from your kill,
the picture of alpha male,
and look for your mate.
Why won't you capture me?
Because you want her.
My best friend.
The one who I should be comforting,
for having two guys so in love with her that they'd kill each other.
I'm scared if I place a hand on her shoulder,
I might crumble.
I could leave my soft white mark on you,
if you just gave me the chance.
But maybe you like the chill,
the chance to pull her closer.
I can't look anymore.
I step over the battlefield and make my way down the street.
I see her get in a taxi
with the guy you just half bludgeoned to death to win her heart.
I see you stood amongst the wreckage,
confusion on your war wounded face,
not knowing what went wrong.
Just like I gave in and cared about you.
What idiots we are.
Somebody punch me in the face.