Why can't I smile?
A true
Sincere smile?
Everyone else can?
So why can't I?
Maybe it's because my smile is crooked
Like my life
Bending in one direction
Simply screwing up something
that should portray happiness
So, why can't I smile
while everyone else can?
I think that some of those smiles
are fake
and laced with grimaces
saying "cheese"
but sorry
I'm lactose intolerant
maybe
to you
i was simply a hand to hold
a comforting hug
or even a cheek to kiss
but to me
you were a flower
a beautiful delicacy held in my arms
and i was the anxious gardener
waiting
through the day and night
until it came time
to tend to my flower again.
Life is more than just time
It's more of poem with less of a rhyme.
Sky blue, trees brown, grass green....
You know what I mean?
Maybe it's not coming out right...trying to explain the meaning of life
But like.....who's knows what it is?
I do.
And the answer is:
This space is just for experience.
30 to 90 years of just feeling it.
Doing the things that you need to do,
and giving things back instead of just stealing shit.
You walk through the world just learning.
I sit in class just yearning,
"I need to be out there and I want to see."
My thought wheels keep turning.
And I try to be more than just one...
Because we weren't put on this world just for fun.
No.
We are here for a reason.
But even that's hard to believe because we're suffering treason.
High.
Like the kids these days.
Playing with fire
"You snaze, you laze."
But I digress.
Now, what was I talking about? Oh yeah,
PRESS!
Printing these stories about celebrities who quite frankly,
Just don't mean shit to me.
I mean, shouldn't we be focusing on something else for a change?
How about how the earth's climate has changed?
There are animals who are dying,
Their kind is shrinking.
Oh, and the water level is rising...
And we are still sinking.
Looks like no one is gonna build us a boat
So we all might have to hold onto our breath
And float on...like that band said.
"To be or not to be." Like that man said.
Right? Because our generation is so "stupid"
We have nothing to show because we don't do shit?
Well you just wait and see.
And for that you'll need patience and tenacity.
How about another subject? cause we have plenty of time.
A few years i'd say, but no...that won't fit in the rhyme.
So how about the mind?
It's a brilliant thing.
It controls us all like an ancient king.
Like for example, King Tut.
And i'd go on but you know what?
I just remembered I was talking about life, am I right?
It's already dark out, and as it turns out, I don't have all night.
So i'm going to leave you with this little piece.
And out of everything this is what i'd like you to take with you, please,
People don't get through it easy
L-I-F-E.
But we are strong.
I mean, we're on top...right where we belong.
So really just...do what you gotta do.
I know the advice may be disappointing
But it's all that you'll need, dude.
As long as you do the things that you need
You have nothing to worry about and you will succeed.
So i guess life really ain't much
We talk and maybe think of it as such
But
You know what, forget all the rhymes.
Maybe life really is just...nothing but time.
I am one.
I become two
with you.
Three, maybe,
if we get lucky.
but my prefix is un
so I am one.
She's waiting
with that lipstickless pout
her cat Léon
a "charmant" 2 bedroom apartment
and a once envied reputation
now deservedly sullied
and only getting worse.
Friends tell you she's got
rougher
sullener
dirtier.
She's waiting
at a sidewalk café
table wobbling on the cobblestones
carafe, glasses of wine
balanced precariously
while she argues about everything
and laughs
with old friends
new friends
and the stubborn ghosts
of those dead or gone.
You can still taste her mouth
that warmth
a hint remains in your wet
almost spongy inner cheek flesh
probe it with your tongue -
cigarettes
rosé
late afternoon sun.
Her face ever immaculate
yet always foundation-free
a lesbian's wettest dream
no make-up grazes staining
anybody's Yves Delorne pillowcases.
When you fucked
you could often hear
next door doing the same
will she still whimper
when you make love
and get up to pour herself a glass
immediately after finishing?
When you step out together
later that afternoon
will you feel as though you
have somehow
deliberately opened a door
into a dogeared postcard
or Truffaut film?
You know she's deceitful
runs to her own schedule
and clearly always had an expiry date
in mind for you two,
one she always kept
to herself -
"Those questions aren't
for asking, on verra..."
The cat has a tendency to yowl
at inappropriate moments
you wish she had a dog instead
or maybe just a goldfish
(there's enough dogshit
on the streets already).
Her apartment will still
smell of stale cigarette smoke
her perfume
and the geraniums in the window box
and she has asked that you stay
for the full two weeks
(sentimental, unable to resist
taking old lovers back in).
Will she beg you not to leave
burn your passport
in the stained enamel kitchen sink
while you take a shower?
Or will she quietly close the door
behind you as you go -
suitcase in hand
your eyes turned
pricking
away?
- - - -
Hey downturned face, looking at ya shoes:
I see you.
Hey broadcast pain, posting to your page in the rain
Who knows the future holds names
like 'attention-whore' or 'tool':
I feel you.
Hey! Lost one in the woods by the path
Gone astray by your own will (or maybe a mistake)!
I hear you screaming 'come help me!'
Desperately.
I keep a picture of you on my windowsill
And every night before I go to sleep I look into your eyes,
Send you a love note with these mine.
Under a wing you'll find shelter, under a song you'll find solace
Dig for that diamond, love! and
Always remember to polish.
Keep on, keep calm, I'll be that bridge of old oak.
My solid spine, that ridge of hope.
inspired by simon & garfunkel, "Bridge Over Troubled Water"
Time is Scary and I guess I really don't like it much, how it
controls us and our lives, and we do things at a certain
time instead of when we want to, maybe we should
ignore clocks completely, see how that turns out.
Time is ticking faster slower and it seems as
though we have just begun to do things
right but I guess we still have all
eternity to keep at it and per
haps someday time will s
low or even cease to
exist. maybe we
should all be
counting do
wn the hou
rs and the
days beca
use you n
ever real
ly know whe
n time will slow, o
r quicken, and maybe tha
t's a good thing because if you
know how much time you have left wo
uld you even be able to enjoy it? ignore the
tempting crocodiles ticking like a clock in Pandora's
Box and don't measure life in time, but in moments, and
remember the Mad Hatter who had no time or Stargirl who sm
ashed her clocks. and in the process of pinning down Time's fragile wi
ngs to a sheet and pressing it against glass, don't forget to forget time and LIVE.
Maybe I shouldn't speak my mind
Maybe I shouldn't let words out of my heart
Maybe I should be silent and frozen in time
Maybe I should wear an prisoner's mark
Maybe I should cut out my tongue
Maybe I should rip out my vocal chords
Maybe I should avoid everything fun
Maybe I should step aside people hoards
Maybe I should stab my ears
Maybe I should eject my eyes
Maybe I should plug up my tears
Maybe I should ignore how time flies
Maybe I should forget my loves
Maybe I should avoid my kin
Maybe I should forget what comes
From being a prisoner deep within
But I shouldn't. I wouldn't be punishing only myself. Others would hurt too, because
They would see me
They would hear me
They would touch me
They would speak of me
They would cry for me
They would still love me
And I'd never respond.
In this state of emotional mind
Of course I cannot see that
All I see is the my own hate
Breathing it and feeling it
I am human
Nothing better
Let go of my anger
Escape the fetter
When I'm like this
I need to stop and think
When my head is clear and cloudless
After taking a watery drink
Then I'll see past the emotions
And into the possible future
I'm at a cross road every day
I'd rather not be someone's butcher
I can take this path
And make everyone else hurt more
Or I can take a different way
Even though my heart is sore
I want to be in pain
It's what I know I deserve
But by thrusting myself onto the sword
I wouldn't ever live, I'd burn
It's a lie to say no one else will care
Its not true, it's not true
While you stand inside your flames
They watch you suffer through
Imagine their pain and see if it compares
Some people
Don't actually
Want
(Or maybe
Just don't know how)
To
Help.
Not many people can do that.
It's quite an accomplishment.
If making people feel like shit makes you feel accomplished.
No. 1:
You were very calm.
Like.
"I-just-did-a-shit-load-of-weed-yo" calm
And considering that's another one of the things I'm not supposed to do
We just didnt work out.
Plus
You thought my name was Mia.
No. 2:
HEAL WITH LOVE!
HEAL WITH MOTHERFUCKING LOVE!
Because I'm lonely and suicidal.
SUICIDAL.
LET'S YELL ABOUT IT!
WE JUST LIKE LOUD VOICES.
THAT'S RIGHT JUST GET THE FEELS OUT.
No. 3:
I don't even really remember you, so
I bet you sucked.
No. 4:
I've moved around a lot.
Left people behind.
I probably have abandonment issues.
Maybe I should work on that.
No. 5:
You
Made
Me
Cry.
Feel Proud?
