Er drückte sie an sich,
Ganz fest, ganz dicht.
Man merkte sofort,
Sie lieben sich.

Verliebt sah er sie an,
Ganz vernarrt in sie,
Man merkte sofort,
Er liebt sie.

Sie küsste seinen Hals,
Kam nicht mehr von ihm los,
Man merkte sofort,
Sie liebt ihn.

Mrs Milton became concerned
when Benedict slipped
and cut his wrist on the beach.
How did you do it? she asked,
fussing over him like an old hen.

Slipped on the pebbles on the steps,
he said. She looked at his wrist,
blood seeping, the handkerchief
he’d tied around it soaked red.
Best get you to the hospital,

she said. Her brother-in-law
drove them to the nearby
hospital and a nurse (some pretty
girl who oozed sexuality like a gently
squeezed lemon) washed and stitched

the wound up and bandaged it with
her gentle hands.  Mrs Milton was
silent in the car back to the beach;
she stared out of the window, muted.
That night in bed, after an evening

of few words and cold stares, she said,
I saw the way you looked at that nurse,
taking in her figure, watching her hands
all over you, your eyes out on stoppers
each time she bent over you, her breasts

pushing against the cloth of her uniform,
reeking of some very cheap perfume.
Benedict laid there, his bandaged hand
over his chest and gazed at her.
She was nursing me, he said, that’s

her job. I was just looking at her working.
Mrs Milton, who was lying beside him
turned and stared. Doing her work?
She was almost molesting you; I saw her
with my own eyes, she said, spittle on

her lower lip. That’s ridiculous, he said,
she was just going about her nursing,
cleaning the wound, stitching me up,
bandaging the hand, that’s all. All?
she said, there was nothing all about

that girl, she’d have had you in that bed
working you off given the chance and if
I hadn’t been there, I dread to think
What the heck might have happened.
Benedict sat up on one elbow and frowned.

Are we talking about the same thing?
You were with me in the hospital while
a young nurse stitched up my hand; that is all.
I was there all right, she said, getting out
of bed and standing by the edge, I saw a

young bitch trying to get off with my man.
It ought not to be allowed to happen,
she said, hands on her hips, her faded
blue night dress failing to hold in her
40 year old breasts. He sat up, shook

his head. I’m not surprised your husband
walked out on you, Benedict said. He didn’t,
I kicked him out, she said. I bet he was
glad to go, he said. She was silent and got
into bed and pulled the covers over her.

How’s your hand? she asked. Benedict
looked at his hand. Painful. Much? Stings
more. Maybe if I kiss it better it might be
better, she said, childlike. Might do, he said.
She kissed the bandaged hand gently.

Yes, feels better already, he said.
She switched off the light. There was
an owl far off. A movement of the bed.

Noone holds the key physically
to unlock the pearly gates just yet
Its a war on earth we have to fight
In order to prove our worthyness to the man above

The dream hangs heavy in the air,
Heavier still is the burden on his back,
The child trudges along the dusty road
His mother in tow –
The sun rises and sets on him
A child, a boy, a man
The burden shifting between the back and the heart!
They try desperately to reach out to light,
Before the darkness wears them out.

In-between what space
The vast expanse.
Colors around the bend reaching,
Reaching for the emptiness
Each end concealed with a door
A filter for the corruption of evil.

The lone man bares the harsh pilgrimage
From one door to the other,
He strides through nothing
Peaceful.
Ever so empty
Feelings abandoned
Forgotten

My last words should I die tomorrow how I wish.

I'm just tired of feeling so hurt and lonely. The pain is far too much to handle. Depression is something I've struggle with for many years now. My many reasons to live were my family, my friends, but most of all my love. Even with those amazing people in my life the depression always hid underneath. Coming out to Barre its ugly teeth when I was intoxicated or vulnerable. I hurt the women I love most in this world. I can't stand to live with that. I'm tired of the many tears. I'm tired of the heart ache. I'm tired of ruining the good things in my life. Please remember me for the goodness in me and not my evil deeds. Rest assured I'm at peace now. I was rarely at peace alive. I hope everyone's dreams of an afterlife were true. I'd love to see those pearly gates or if what I did sends me to hell so be it. Maybe we are apart of gelatinous cube, one of my favorite ideas. If it wasn't I wouldn't have married it. I will never be entirely sure why you left me Alyssa but I love you and I want you to move on with your life. I was a destructive character in yours and everyone else's life. As you know, you're far better off without me. I made some big changes trying to clean up my act but instead it all just came crashing down. I'm glad I died still married to you cause that is how I would choose to go. Having had a loving wife who cared for me deeply. I'm wrapped in your favorite blanket, my head resting on a pillow that still smells like you. In one of my favorite places. Its a frequent of ours when we were stupid kids and we'd sneak out together. Little did I know she was my future wife. I just knew that I adored you. I'm holding the book of poetry you wrote me. I'd like to be barried with it unless Alyssa wants it. She can have anything she wants. You always were a sucker for a poet and I hate that you fell for cheap words when I would of bled right infront of you. You'll find a man with far less flaws and he'll sweep you off your feet. He'll treat you well and wont taint the memories like I did. When you broke up with me the first time. I cried harder then I had ever cried over a girl. You've found another poet in your life. This time when he dies or breaks your heart I wont be there to take you back. You were always my dream girl. My sweet love. My love was my name for you because you embodied every wish I ever sent to the universe. I just had some issues that we couldn't fix. So just hate me and move on. I know this will only push you further into the arms of another man. You were already there when you left though. I also want everyone to know that I want Alyssa to have all my belongings. She knows me better then anyone and she can burn it if she wants. I want her to have my life insurance money also. Please buy yourself something nice. I'm in the same place, in the same car looking over the beautiful lake remembering my perfect moments. When I still made you happy. I remember getting you to fall for me. I will never forget that unique connection we shared. We had so much in common. Our playful nature. The books we loved. The music we adored. How I fell inlove with your brothers. How I had to convince you Jacob was the greatest guy in the world and pushing you to make amends with Gille. I always tried to push you to better yourself and situations. I was off mark sometimes but Gille's your best friend now. You've come to realize how Jacob is an endless friend, a companion til the end. You were blind to so many gifts you were givin from birth. If there was any gift I could have givin you. It was to make you realize what you have. So go find someone better then me, don't ever settle for less then perfect or I'll haunt your sex life. They built a statue of us and put it on a mountain top. I want you to know I was endlessly lusting over you. When you thought the passion died. It was because I forgot what to do. I just needed a little guidance.

Yesterday brought me Tomorrow;
Tomorrow lacking Nothing-
Nothing and everything...

hahaha I just realized off mark

You are no man
You are but a child
How can you live the way you do,
Pining to be pursued
When you are supposed to be the pursuer?
You cry and whine that you cannot be wanted
That you will not be humored
You are not accepted
You shall not be loved
But you are a coward at best
And a failure of a man at worst
You are no man
You are but a child
Your desires are far from realistic
And you expect to be pampered
To be waited upon
To be loved unconditionally
You will not apologize
For acting selfish and stupid
You will not allow yourself
To be 'humiliated' in that way
To incline your head to a woman you've wronged
God forbid you apologize
God forbid you show remorse
You are prideful and conceited in the worst of ways
You are no man
You are but a child
I cannot bear to listen to you grovel
About how your dream girl is unattainable
And all you want is a little love
A man would not waste away for lack of courage
A man would be courageous and chivalrous
Taking a leap of faith and being honorable
But you?
You cower at the sight of adversity
Squirm at any sense of discomfort
You have no backbone
You have no sense
You are but a child
And a child you shall stay

So I want to hear why,
The devil is a bad guy,
Doesn't he punish evil-doers?
But I don't want to hear
That he's the good guy.
He's an Ordinary guy,
A guy with bad and, well,
Good qualities

Defined by image is a man
With red hands
Also defined by image is a man
With invisible yet almighty hands

Defined by truth is an Ordinary guy