For regrets i have
And times i missed
I never thought
I could be so pissed

War against any who approach
No method or trials
This is nothing that can be coached
Rage

Fallen friends ill avenge this yet
You thought i wouldnt kill wanna bet?
Youve taken all i knew
I now turn the crosshairs on you

Fueled by love
Compelled by hate
No man could reach a power this great
You try and try but will never overcome
I have the world under my thumb

I saw your hope crush
Felt your strikes
To me, but plush

Im calling you out
Here i am
Any resistance is futile by man

Somewhere within the levels of the conscious
between the bowels of the deep and
the deepness of my thought
I am caught
in the secrets that I keep
in the darkness of my sleep where
I cry in waterfalls of tears and joy
the unhappiness of fears
employ and use me
in perpetuity,
or so it seems.

These dreams see fit to haunt me
and sleeping draughts have no effect.
This dissatisfaction that I feel
peels away and when the day has come
I wonder
wonder why the sun still lights the sky
and wonder why it does not light my heart.
Do I need to look upon the charted stars up there
to understand myself and know just where and when
I go to then
will that make me a better man
if I learn to understand the master plan
and is there such a map.

Mother says,
'I need a slap to wake me up' but I think that's a fallacy
dreamers like me need no such thing.

Each morning I bring a bucket to the well with wishes in my head
and these are fed up through the day
into my conscious thought
and once again I find I'm caught
my thoughts should pay attention to what is going on
before I even know it
the fleeting hours have run away
and gone.

The night would say,
'it serves you right you've got what you deserve,
I reserve the right to kick against the night
and rest my case.

Created July 2, 2012

Meredith, I can breath
though I've seen things no man shouldve seen

Meredith i see straight
my legs they tremble but my heart aches

walking along the waves
my heads in space

should i speak of these ways

Meredith my knees are weak
Im scared of disease and i cant sleep

and if she does go with him
i'll die alone
i will just keep believing and hoping that that ain't so

meredith, my souls broke loose, now that the bottles open
you can smell that I've been bruised

but I'm tackling questions
im tackling flaw
cuz the bottom of the oceans where I've been all along

so what i'm gonna do's go at my own pace
and I aint a gunna let a thing get in my way

She saw her life flash before her eyes
Even the dark chapter containing a swift demise
Furry sank in
As she grew uncomfortable in her own skin
Everything was supposed to turn out alright
Not flutter away like some unhinged kite
This man was supposed to be the epitome of desire
A person others could admire
There shouldn't have been any indecision
They were to merge in an act of pure fission
And So it appeared for fifty long days
Then in disintegrated in the reflected glimpse of a bong's haze.

You call out for me
and I've called out for you
Feel you down below
slip deep within
inside my skin
I don't need no boy
I need a man
to fill in this whole
make me feel your sin
inside the skin
I love the fight
of fucking the violence
succumbing to win
to keep feeling you
inside my skin
this is how it will begin
Avoid the break
keep you close
you're to close spillin'
inside my skin
I scream out loud
Keep it coming
I won't give in
inside my skin
Beat of your heart
rush of my blood
I know now
like you knew me then
inside the skin
always
craving
you
inside my skin

Growing older
Time runs out
Mistake no longer can be undone
I'm stuck with the hand I was dealt
Depression and sickness, forever a plague
A life of misery awaits
Nobody cares if you're sad as an adult
You're supposed to stand up and be a man
Men don't cry
Men are always strong
And I don't think I am capable of that

As the iron bars that wrap the night
creep in they hold me tight
a prisoner
and for what delight pray tell
should I spend these tiring hours in hell?
The windows laugh at me as they see me looking through and out into the gloom
and all I smell is doom
my bedroom is small and the evening is as tall as any giant
with foreboding
I stay quiet and wait.
Late.
It is late and there is no rebate to come from the warmth and joy that was the Sun
and it is cold
this terror I feel is not the least
for this night's no friend to man or beast
it is the cheat that plays the cards
the feral cat that like a baby howls in the back yards and alleyways,
and fat
the night is fat with jowls that sag
and drags its feet
across this man's back who failed to meet the sandman with his bag of sleep.
I weep
slowly
how slow the second hand takes to sweep around the dial
and slower still
the night creeps up and down my spine.
Even so
the night will go
I bear this thought in mind.

Boy, you are a dangerous surprise
An exhilarating anomaly of a man
I mean I’m used to being the one pulling leashes, but this time,
This time it’s me with the collar around my neck and it’s tied on tight
Any crumb you toss my way I find myself cherishing
I am no deplorable woman and I am not a beggar,
But you got something mesmerizing about you
You got that enchanting smile
You got that magic touch
And as I roll my eyes back and quiver I am bewitched
The sounds of your roar make me purr
The smell of your skin gives mine goosebumps
Boy you are a dangerous surprise
An exhilarating anomaly of a man

I have been running for years
Tub full of tears..
Fighting dozens of fears
Betrayed by peers..
Trust issues ..
As I sit here and clutch tissues..
How can a man cry blood.
Pops killed as a kid life of a thug...
Not me but he..
I am a lover not fighter.
Guess that's why at one point I was a womanizer..
Liquor licked lust until the night expired
I ran from my calling..
Taking the wrong shots I failed at balling...
Realized the love of the Messiah
Sin check my rap sheet I had priors
Should have been put in a hellish prison
Embracing conviction.
Jesus Christ gave me redemption

The tears run down her time worn skin
As she remembers the things that she had been
Memories of her sons marching off to war
And the knowledge that she would see them no more
Tears for her husband now long passed away
Tears for the news that she saw today
News off the death of another young man
Blown apart by a bomb in some far distant land

Tears for his parents now left to grieve
Tears for his wife and the children he leaves
She weeps for the sins of this of this sad weary world
She weeps as though it can blind all her cares

All she cares is just to weep
Weep her tears until it bleeds..
She weeps herself until she sleeps..
Sees her dead son's smiles in her sleep...
Her husband waves and his image becomes blurry..
She tries hard to keep them both in her memory..
The tears she hopes will keep her sane...
These tears are real story..
Now her life is only deep sweet memory

Wakes up again and still she weeps...
She remembers them, yes too dearly...
Her grief is just too deep... just too deep...
Memories of her loved ones keep taunting her sleeps
Every drops of her tears is painful indeed..
Does anybody care that she will spend the rest of her life to grief and to weep?

A river of tears that she weeps, does it worth it?
Will the hurtful memories one day fade?
Will she go crazy so to make it all so easy?
so .... should could no longer weep herself to sleep?