Your standing at a cross roads
And you dont no which way to go
To the left is a road you've never known
To the right is the life youve lived and grown
As the rain pours down along your face
Your confused on which choice to make
Your scared of change and risk
You always belive youll fail the test
Even though your stronger than most
You dont belive you have anythin to boast
A predictiable stable life is what you want,
Descions and stress give you haunt
A fulfiled life is all you want,
My Wandering woman just follow your heart,
Dont worry what others think, its about what you want
Let nature be your guide and show you the way,
Choose a path and dont ever stray
Follow the sun the moon and stars,
Theyll always stay bright for you,
Just look to the sky whenever your blue,
Take a deep breathe and let it all flow out,
Before you make a descions no matter what about,
While your at the crossroads wanderer,
Always remember not to ponder,
Follow your gut and nothin but,
Dont let outside fears take control,
Your demons are no match for your heart,
Even though they may never let go,
Fight through them all with courage and wit,
Think on your toes and never sit,
Youll get through this wandering woman,
Never doubt what you are doing.
Never let your smile go dim,
It will brighten up any room,
Keep your eyes open wide
They are as blue as the sky,
Tread your gorgous soul onward dear,
There is nothing for you to fear.
As you stand at the crossroads before you
Remember these words i said to you,
If you choose the road you dont know
Or the one that youve grown accustom too
Just make sure that youll be happy first,
Happiness is your primary first.
Everything else can wait,
And i myself can always wait,
Ill wait until your seas have calmed,
Until it is safe to climb a shore,
Until your storm has subsided,
And you can no longer deny it.
Never the less ill always be by your side,
And for you ill hang up my pride.
You'll always have a place in my heart,
You always have right from the start.
i am a fighter. the most competitive and the most unforgiving. my heart is wilted, but i will take it. and so will you. my punching bag. worn from my incessant bickering. torn from my attempts to rip apart your spirit. but you. you roll with the punches. you feed my fire. and i ask you to feed my fire. crumple my insecurities and toss them in a waste basket. relentless but restless. persistant. insistent. why. why do you brace and watch. me. crossing my fingers. hoping the ice will crack. take us down. make us drown. i fall and will fall. into a million pieces. again and again. pathetic and needy. wanting you to need to me. wanting you to leave me for someone else’s taking. someone else’s breaking. but you don’t. you get down. on your hands and your knees. with a magnifying glass. looking for the pieces that fit together. every bit and every glimmer of my complication. my skeleton of a soul. why. why when i leave you to find me in the dark. my ruthless game of hide and seek. to find me. to unwind me. catch me and grind me. the ways i grind you. leaving you without any light. without a way back to me. do it yourself. i am relentless but restless. persistant. insistent. but still you play. you stay. why, why do you stay. waiting until i decide to switch the light back on. until i decide to give up. you think you will win. but i am the toxic type. the no missed calls. the watch you fall. the wants you to hurt. become bruised. and become used. become just like me. the needs to push you away. but wants you to stay. my heart is hard. my heart is tough. and you will never, ever understand. that love means surrender. to you. to me. and to all that i am.
A douche will only date a model, but at least he's honest.
A jerk will date anyone, but only make the models feel beautiful.
A decent guy will date the girls with a low-average bmi, say he doesn't look at size, but his actions say otherwise.
A nice guy will date a fat girl, but marry a skinny one.
A good guy will marry a fat girl, but wish, every day, that she was thinner--and she will always know.
A rare guy will date a fat girl and not realize that she's fat. She will feel beautiful and think she's a model.
But he's a minority, and non-model girls are a majority.
There's a solution:
Starve until the fat disappears.
Until every guy that has ever preferred a skinny girl over you;
over a girl that looks like you
-- or worse --
is even smaller than you, but not small enough,
would finally consider you worthy.
But don't get too thin.
Guys complain about that too.
Now you're not pretty enough,
Starve until you're just right --
and then they'll tell you how great you look;
ask you how you did it.
You'll lie, yet again, to maintain the facade.
They'll think you're disciplined --
but they don't know just how much.
You can starve so they're happy;
put on a smile to make them think you are too. Because you never will be --
they've destroyed your mind with their standards; you've destroyed it with striving to live up to them.
You'll marry a guy who tells you you're beautiful, but your eyes are broken;
an ugly, obese girl relentlessly stares back.
She tells you your husband lies.
She tells you food is bad, purging is good.
She tells you your husband would prefer someone skinnier,
You'll never be enough -- all because some teenage boy hung up a poster of a
model on his wall --
and he decided that she was the ultimate goal, and, thus, your destiny emerged.
Insomnia, my greatest enemy, dearest friend has come along to visit again.
She appears at my bedside each night and waits beside me as the darkness encroaches.
My comforter is thick and warm, inviting toward her, she comes next to me, I can feel her above me, whisking the tired feelings away.
She slips into the corners of my mind and takes my body for a ride, just lying there for endless hours, waiting for a sign of sun.
I am sweating but the dark is far too cold to relieve the covers of their duty.
The darkness is thick and cold and chills my bones to the core as I stand up.
I have become far too restless just lying and I need to move, Insomnia what is your purpose?
Three am showers have become a habit, almost like a ritual as I take the walk down the hall trying hard not to make a sound.
The door creeks as I open it, my feet freezing on the tile floors as I step inside.
I strip my sweaty thermal off my back, a difficult task because it had begun to stick to my skin.
I turn the water to the highest temperature, even that won’t be hot enough to escape the dark chill in my bones.
As I wait for the water to become satisfactory I count tiles like I have so many nights before.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28…
Tonight’s magic number, the water has become slightly shy of scalding and I step in and just feel.
Sensations over run my body, rigid from the sudden change in atmosphere
Relaxed because the heat feels good
I give in and take a seat on the warm, stark white surface
It feels good to just sit in the haze of vapor
Insomnia loosens her grip as the water makes me number than I was before
The water goes cold; I suppose I have sat too long pondering my woes and worries
So I stand which is quite the task, the same each night
I turn off the water absorbing the last of the heat and savoring each second
I step out and go through the motions of drying myself
Begin at my hair and work toward my toes
I put on sweatpants and a new t-shirt
I brush my hair
The door creeks open once more and I return to my room
My bed welcomes me and insomnia has left my bedside, finally tiring from fighting my body, off to infect another I suppose
Good night, until tomorrow my dear friend, great enemy.
Boy, you are a dangerous surprise
An exhilarating anomaly of a man
I mean I’m used to being the one pulling leashes, but this time,
This time it’s me with the collar around my neck and it’s tied on tight
Any crumb you toss my way I find myself cherishing
I am no deplorable woman and I am not a beggar,
But you got something mesmerizing about you
You got that enchanting smile
You got that magic touch
And as I roll my eyes back and quiver I am bewitched
The sounds of your roar make me purr
The smell of your skin gives mine goosebumps
Boy you are a dangerous surprise
An exhilarating anomaly of a man
i'm either not feeling anything
or simply forcing myself to not feel
to grasp my own throat
until i feel i'm about to pass out
and let go as the veins are strained in my neck
and take in that big gust of air my body begged for
as my lungs begin to pump and work again
as my heart leaps and lurches
into all sorts of action, trying to make me feel
but i simply ignore the accusations
of trying to ignore them
because i just honestly
do not feel
or refuse against the very thought
Its because I love….
Hope you’d be my Valentine again…
Its because I miss you…
Wish you’d come back to me…
Its because I need you..
Pray that you’d still love me too
Remembered the joy you gave me
For so brief a while…
In this world that we’d built together…
And shared as our own…
There was so much love
How to thank you for giving me so much….
You made my heart your home
And every time our eyes met,
My heart melted too
Even for a while I felt we were in heaven…
Thank you for being so faithful and for caring
Only you could make my world
As only you could do…
My wonderful love, you were the greatest friend and the best companion…
How I thanked god for this opportunity..
To having to love and be loved
By someone so loving like you…
Even a brief moment with you..
On this Valentine’s day..
I would cherish it forever..
Sweetheart….Would you be my Valentine once again?
The tears run down her time worn skin
As she remembers the things that she had been
Memories of her sons marching off to war
And the knowledge that she would see them no more
Tears for her husband now long passed away
Tears for the news that she saw today
News off the death of another young man
Blown apart by a bomb in some far distant land
Tears for his parents now left to grieve
Tears for his wife and the children he leaves
She weeps for the sins of this of this sad weary world
She weeps as though it can blind all her cares
All she cares is just to weep
Weep her tears until it bleeds..
She weeps herself until she sleeps..
Sees her dead son's smiles in her sleep...
Her husband waves and his image becomes blurry..
She tries hard to keep them both in her memory..
The tears she hopes will keep her sane...
These tears are real story..
Now her life is only deep sweet memory
Wakes up again and still she weeps...
She remembers them, yes too dearly...
Her grief is just too deep... just too deep...
Memories of her loved ones keep taunting her sleeps
Every drops of her tears is painful indeed..
Does anybody care that she will spend the rest of her life to grief and to weep?
A river of tears that she weeps, does it worth it?
Will the hurtful memories one day fade?
Will she go crazy so to make it all so easy?
so .... should could no longer weep herself to sleep?
Little feathers fall over my heart
within the dark
Leaving slivers of pain
Sparkling in my wounds
Where memories remain
show upon my face
often make me feel insane
cracking inside my brain
Letting go a piece at a time
My darling daughter
something I struggle with
from day to day
When looking upon your face
I see all the pain inside your hidden eyes
Where you step aside
trying to hide the turmoil
we both bleed
Trying so hard
not to show the open wounds
that life left upon our souls
to bridge the gap between us
that is filled with holes
and bleeding scars
Where our memories gather us
in pain trying to break down
the walls of the insane emotions
I only hold you in my heart<3
As life tries to tear us apart
Still you remain hidden
held by memories
sit in the dark.
By Weeping willow
First day of 8th grade sex-ed class,
Sitting awkwardly beside you in my seat.
Closing our math binders in sync,
The health teacher strides in.
"Take out your folders class!" a loud voice booms,
I scramble to find it.
Taking out blank paper to write notes,
The teacher launching into a fast paced lecture.
Losing track of the words I stop and look to your sheet and copy,
To only see you have written one word--your name.
You notice me looking as I smirk at you.
I try to hold in the giggles,
Even though it isn't funny.
You reacting the same way.
I look up and catch your eye and I feel my tummy doing turns,
Why do you do this to me?
You look like your blushing but I couldn't tell as we both looked away,
Do I make you feel the same way?
We mirror movements without noticing it,
Life isn't making much sense to me.
I slump in my seat already bored of this lesson and let my hands hang loose,
I then realize how close to you I am your warm breath blowing down my neck.
I can feel you look at me,
Me wavering under your gaze.
You do something surprising,
You slip your fingers through mine under the desk,
Hidden away from view.
I feel myself panicking my breath coming out faster,
Blushing like a cherry red tomato.
I readjust my grip reassuringly squeezing your hand in a friendly gesture.
They say your first love never lasts.
But a girl can dream.