I'm about to fight
I think of you
I walk away
I'm about to curse my mom
I think of you
I walk away
You hold me form a lot
I couldn't do anything
To make me not see you
It's hell enough not to
But if I couldn't talk to you
There would be blood
But I'd just think of you
What it would do to you
If I got arrested
Or got killed
And just walk away
I couldn't do anything to hurt you
Hey this is your other half speaking loud and clear
Sirens and screams I know it's hard to hear me all the way from here
But I swear I am right there with you, in your heart and in your soul
Sole digging holes in the pavement I am running and your side is my goal
Reach your hand before the band plays and that fat lady has a chance to sing
You are far from being over, no red rover you aren't leaving a thing
Do you see that ring wrapped gently above your knuckle?
That means that when we pray will be the only time our knees buckle
Buckle genes you are of the richest strands of DNA God built you to last long
Not glass strong but a brass bong, even the thickest smoke doesn't cause our eyes to tear up
The devil will learn to fear us, when we rear up, the world will bet on our horse
Ran this course a million times, know it like the back of my hand, my hands are getting coarse
So many things to help remember like our names carved into that tree
We will never leave the park our hearts are always ready to play
You are my Little Bo Peep, I am your black sheep, you can always count on me
To make sure you rest easy, sleep in my arms, I know you've had a rough day
I hope you can see that I will be your remedy as long as I can see
Look into my eyes and I can find the place in your soul where you can hardly
If you believe in me then I can be your Superman, anything I can achieve
I know what I need to write, you were right about the Wright brothers, they didn't get it right
The first time, that is why I am writing you for the millionth time, maybe I'll get it right
Rewrite every rough draft, revise to make it more righteous, angel wing quill pen when I write ceremonial rites
Let me borrow a feather so I can put a bit of you in it when I write, is it right to say I should find something new to rhyme?
But we go so well together, we are right for each other, we sound better each time
I've learned from you that words will work to your will, if you have the willpower to bend but not break
Pump the brakes I know you feel like you're breaking, but this isn't an earthquake just a cold shake
Terrified of tremors but the earth has to grow sometimes
When Pangea parts I pinky promise we will be on the same land, the same line
Write together and right for each other, I'm content on this continent for a millennia of time
In a land before time, my internal clock wasn't working until it was given your hands
Second date, second place, second chance and finally our flag stands
The whole world in my hands when I hold yours, this is just the beginning
Blood thinning before, you don't have to wait anymore. This is just the first inning
Shortly after the school systems began defecating on the dreams of my generation,
We found different outlets
Through which we could bring our loathing to a head.
My generation now writes poetry and
Finds solace in video games we can beat
In lives we can't seem to live the right way.
It's funny to me that The Legend of Zelda,
Tells you that "You are great!"
While your teacher berates you for being sub-par
Though you tried your damnedest
To please them through drafts and drafts
And drafts of work
Spat out at 4am because
There are more important things to deal with
In regular waking hours,
In regular waking life.
They tell us that we have failed
Because we fucked up in one class,
A single credit,
A single number on a sheet of paper
That tries to measure us
When we can't even attempt to do the same.
They tell us we have failed
Because we do not look good on file
And apparently we do not look good
Walking down the street
With heroin eyes and baggy sweaters,
The only clean clothes we own
Because the system has sucked us clean of time
To do much else than
Study, study, STUDY our damn lives away.
This is atrocious.
When a young boy feels more accomplished
Than he does when he writes a stellar paper,
The best he can pen
Only to be told he has a lot more work to do
And that the paper
But it needs work."
The culture of my generation does not discriminate.
It does not tell us that we have more work to do.
Instead, it tells us that "we are great" and
It gives us a restart screen when we fuck up beyond repair.
It does not tell us we have failed,
Instead offers us a kind
It is sad
When the voice over of a video game
Offers more kindness
Than our instructors and parents
School should not send us home, wanting to kill ourselves.
The system should not make a pen cap,
A pair of underpants, a simple metal bookmark
In the hands of the human entity of depression.
We will not be marked suicide risks.
As long as we keep getting our restart screens and
Compliments from bits,
We will triumph.
We will be the heroes of our generation
As long as we keep getting the chance.
One day, when all the suffering is over
And we have escaped this war-torn soul of "The Caring Community,"
Maybe those words will extend from an NES and find their way
Into the mouth of a boyfriend, girlfriend,
Wife, husband, friend, professor...
Someday, we will hear the words and we will truly believe them.
"You are great!"
Maybe not today...
Thinking is no sin.
Neither are the thoughts
of you lying there
in another dimension.
It's so inviting to wonder
the pleasures of
won't make me
go to hell,
I would never be able to find the correct words
to write about you
so I guess I'll just play with them
and hope you can see what I'm doing.
Love never crossed my mind
at least never the kind I've discovered with you
yet every new day you bring something new to the table
to surprise me with something that is truly real.
Our stories will be intertwined
in the most wonderful book
we'll each write chapters and verses
and see what we've accomplished in the end.
Very rarely would I ever doubt you
even if the skies in my mind turned grey
and I lost all sense of myself
I would still see you as beautiful.
Each and every thought of you
brings a tear to my eye
and yet you still make my heart leap with joy
when I wake up to see your face.
You're like my favorite book
full of surprises, twists and turns,
and unforgettable memories
which I hope I can share with you.
Our very bodies work together in a beautiful melody
playing off each other in perfect sequence and harmony
I could explore you for days, months, years
a very lifetime of knowing you so fully.
Underneath the stars,
your eyes still shine the brightest
I wonder what sort of things make them seem to dance like that
I'd sure love to take a lifetime to find out.
Not really sure where this came from. Hint: read the first letter of each stanza down from first to last, it spells something. Cheesy? Probably.
I tried to come up with all the reasons why I can't stop thinking about you
I came up with this list and if it doesn't make sense now, it will in time
I can't stop thinking about your smile because it is a time machine
Bringing me back to the days when I had all the time in the world to stare at the stars as each would gleam
When I broke toys instead of hearts and I didn't have a problem playing with fire
The flames were never tamed, I was always to blame but I had been the only one burnt by desire
I can't stop thinking about you because your voice is akin to my pen
Promising to stick with me through thick and thin, writing every wrong that there's ever been
And when you lose it, I fear I will lose it and never find another reason to stay out of this grave
I can't stop thinking about you because your words are like the light at the end of the cave
Here I was enslaved but you gave me hope for a brighter day. A sun with which to awaken
I've taken my God forsaken faith and reinforced it with your love, it will not be shaken
I can't stop thinking about you...and sometimes I don't know why
But why would I fly away when I can hold your hand and see the beauty of the night sky from your eyes
the fellow on the street
has no home
and on the unfriendly street
not that you'll hear him complain
of the conditions he lives in
he takes every day as it comes
and he'll smile at you with a beaming grin
his world is far from ideal
it has little appeal
yet he contends
with it as this is his deal
he counts himself lucky
though he's in an adverse situation
not having four walls
in a permanent location
he and his like
have no status in society
they are the people
who've been forgotten so expediently
look in the park and the subways
you'll sight people like them on any day
a roof for shelter
a place of warmth
is well out of their grasp
there is nothing
in their empty clasp
tonight as you sleep in your tepid beds
give a thought to those who are taking rest
in outdoor climes
without a cover
on their shivering frames
this is the picture you should hold in your head
when you're thinking of how bad things are for you
as there are many people
much much tougher than you
that fellow will greet you
on your run in the park
and his appearance
will make you look very stark
I will not be afraid of your scars.
I will not let the sharp pieces of your armored heart discourage me.
I will not break easily or give up until im gasping for my last breath.
Im stronger then whats hurt you,
Im stronger then the pain youve felt .
Trust in me , let me take the
10,000 broken pieces that make you up, and hold you together .
The quiet voice you speak in,
let me re awake you, your too beautiful to be silenced.
Your hands that seem so unsure ,
Put them in mine so i can remind you what skin on fire feels like, to be desired, wanted.
I will not be afraid to love you.
Dont be afraid to let me .
I am open-minded and complex
I wonder about my future
I hear the ocean kiss the shore
I see the sun die every night for the moon to live
I want freedom
I am open-minded and complex
I pretend to be happy and content
I feel like a mother holding her baby for the first time
I touch every star in the nights sky
I worry I will get everything I dream of but will even be unhappy then
I cry over my fallen angel
I am open-minded and complex
I understand forgiveness
I say la ilaha illallah wa muhammadar rasulullah
I dream of blissful memories with her
I try to make her proud
I hope she is watching over me
I am open-minded and complex
This poem has been a long time in the making and I still feel that it's too soon to write. I feel like you don't deserve so much of my time and my thoughts. But something deep inside of me knows that this is for me and not you. And I like me more than I hate you, so I'll be uncomfortable and discuss you in the effort of bringing peace to me.
How can someone as shit as you ruin my life? So weak and so young. Owner of nothing but ruler of all.
It hurts my pride so bad to even acknowledge that a person as minuscule as you could rearrange my everything. How I could have been so inferior to the likes of...
It makes me so mad to admit that I am afraid of you. Words that my lips will never utter, a thought that my mind 'force closes' every time, the letters that my pen refuses to form.
I am afraid of you.
So hard to accept that you are stronger than me
I've never known anything so evil
I've never known anything more terrifying than the feeling I feel when confronted by you. Just your presence. Stand alone. Is enough to make me want to run away. To a world safe from you. So that's what I do.
I run and I run and now I'm somewhere foreign. Depriving myself of the things I love to protect myself from you.
When you punched our sister in the mouth and I watched her rip her lip off of her teeth. I died inside.
Literally slipping in her own blood trying to wrestle you off.
Why did you do that?
Where did you learn that?
How did I not know you were capable of that?
How are you capable of that?
Someone so close to me. Became a monster. Slowly, yeah. But still I wasn't ready for that. Wasnt expecting that. Never saw that coming.
It felt like it was all a dream. Still hoping today that maybe it was.
And your lack of remorse keeps my hate for you fiery.
"CALL THE POLICE, BITCH. AND WHEN I GET OUT OF JAIL IMMA BEAT YO ASS AGAIN!" chills tears (This is a part of the process, Domonique. Let it happen. Swallow the lump in your throat. Keep writing)
If I close my eyes I can hear you so clear. I'm there again. Scared. Shaking. Knife in my hand. Knowing deep down I wasn't bold enough to kill you.
And you knew it too.
When she was bleeding everywhere and I stood there too shocked to move. And you pushed me. And mom screamed. And Ravyn cried.
Why would you do that?
I never thought.
I watched my sister try and recover while I just got worse.
To watch her cry every day from excruciating pain as I fed her through a cracked jaw.
It stung so bad that she would refuse to eat.
It stung so bad. And as for Me and My soul. Stung the fuck up.
I cried all the time. To see someone you love plagued with a hurt body and hurt pride is too much for the strongest of us. Wishing I could halve the pain: when we were little girls we halved everything.
But I couldn't.
Never felt so helpless, so useless.
Sleeping in a tiny 2bedroom apartment, living out of boxes. Just wanting my sister to be okay.
Missing my mama. From living with her all my life to not even seeing her everyday.
It was so hard.
And meanwhile I had to go to school, harboring all of this pain.
Never discussing the imminent details.
Rare for a person as vocal as me.
Trying hard to never think of it.
My grades suffered bad, but not as bad as me.
You can imagine how little an equation or a metaphor meant. Absolutely nothing. Because life had just taught me something that academia wouldn't even believe.
This. This is so hard for me to relive.
So I'll stop here. I have to stop here. And when I'm ready. I'll come back and finish.
But this is big. Really really big. Because I promised to never 'go there'. But here I am. And maybe I'll regret it later. And I'll probably never be mentally prepared to read it again.
It's really no fun dealing with repressed memories.