You sit there
In the corner of my too neat room
Arms crossed behind your head
While I shoot daggers at you
The memories of what we used to be sear the inside of my eyeballs
And I remember how when we would touch nothing else mattered
When we were together we were unstoppable
And I wonder how you ended up in my bed room
After 8 months of having you out of my life you’ve somehow wormed your way back in
After 8 months of living oceans away from you you’ve somehow convinced me we should be friends
After 8 months of recovering from the tornado called you that wreaked havoc on my life you’re back
And you’re sitting there like you own the place
You’re sitting there and your confidence and sense of self fill the room
You look up from your iphone
I’m practically huddled in the corner of my queen-sized bed afraid of what you may do and you ask
‘So there’s no chance of us having sex tonight?’
That's all you have to say?
After the tears
After the fights
That’s what your interested in
I shake my head no
And I hope that will be enough to make you leave
This is my safe haven
This is my home
This is the place I don’t have to hide, usually
I hope you’ll go home
Just stand up and walk away
Tonight you want to talk
You ask me why
Are you serious?!
Did you seriously just ask that?
You drank me up like you were dehydrated and I was the only fresh spring in miles
I opened up to you
I gave you my soul
I shared with you my emotions (the bits and pieces I don’t generally give away)
And you drank them up
You gave me nothing in return
I was empty
All that was left was useless mud
The way I feel about you is not the way you feel about me
So why should I do this to myself
What’s between you and me, it isn’t healthy for me
So, no, we aren’t going to have sex
Finally you get up saying it’s time you should leave
I’m silently thanking God
And as I’m walking you out from the corner of the basement where my room is you grab me
We’re on the dark steps and you hug me
You hold me so close
And for every bit of that closeness that you're holding me next to your body I’m holding my happy dolphin pillow pet
And you hug me
And I touch its soft fur
And you breathe into me
And I remember just how blue my dolphin is in the light
And you’re breathing in my ear and I’m thinking BLUE BLUE BLUE
And you say in my ear that I was wrong
You feel the same way
When we’re together we can move mountains
We can do anything
And you whisper it
Even though no one’s around
And I’m focusing on my breathing and just how blue my blue dolphin is
And you kiss me
And you kiss me again
Then you kiss me once more and I…
I kiss you back
Shrouds of white,
And shrouds of cotton
Perform their simple
Command, lacing my
Breasts, concealing my
Flesh from thy beautiful
The eye that lifted
My lips of gold.
With a quick passing glance
And a fleeting glimpse of
Thee, diamonds shed
And mulberry delight
Make their way to
My innermost sensitivity and my
brain begins to burst
With the love trapped within
For ages passed.
My fingers let yours
String of merriment.
You promise me you love
Me like the vacancy of the sun.
Love of mine,
Guide me with thy
Heart of sublimity.
Jar me with your
Spark, with your
Are not forgotten
Even with time
Like when I watched
At such a young age
My father drink and beat my mom
Simply because he "loved her"
My mom is an angel
Yet she was doomed from the start
Being a serious alcohol addict
Since age 15
Getting pregnant with me at age 16
She never knew true love
Her parents lives revolved around money
They showed no love
towards their beautiful daughter
They blamed her for being fucked up
But in all reality
It was all because of them
My mom wanted love
My dad gave her it
Thinking he was destined to fix her
But how could he fix her if
He was also broken?
Addicted to drugs and alcohol
Was in and out of rehab
Back when I was in middle school
I was so young and didn't understand
The concept and struggle of addiction
So I hated my mom
I believed she left me
At the time a girl needs her mom
I was alone and had no one by my side
Some things are not easily forgotten
Like when I watched my mom
Cut her arms until she was bleeding on
When I watched her make herself throw up
When I watched her drink herself blind
Are forever implanted in my mind
I’d starve but I’m always hungry.
I’d hate if I could learn to stop loving.
I’d cut if my knife was sharp enough.
I’d create if I wasn't being destroyed.
I’d forget if I could look forward.
I’d live my day like my last but I know it isn’t.
I’d make time if I had any.
But I don’t.
And I can’t.
And I won’t.
I’d not have these feelings if I wasn’t so alone.
But I am.
Your mouth is bruised water, and at times
in our laughter I want my throat wet with it.
I like the sheen of girl-skin, the way that your
body is like my body, but better. You are not
a college experiment or a midnight hypothesis
or mouth-to-mouth ways to make our lovers
jealous, but you are not love. I merely yearn for
beauty, undressing. I simply want to steal new
pears and rub my teeth against their milk-flesh.
I am loop-stitched with craving and you are not
to blame. I am not a selfish girl, but I have a soft
mouth and I want to taste it all.
Empty eyes,cap in hand,watch them stand.
The pride and joy of our great nation bumming coins outside St.Pancras railway station,boy 'if they could see me now'how the other half survive,turned up collars,downcast eyes and if you see them too,tell me please,what do you do,'walk on by' pass some time,give a dollar,throw a dime?
In the dockyard,broken down but once the busiest place in town sits Tony Green and he has seen years come and go,could tell your fortune from your palm and yet he's blind to his own fate,so he'll wait until the soup run comes and walk slowly with the other outcast tramps and bums,some who've had such different days and now like the docks are in decay and this is pride,the British way.
If it's true we live and learn and yet don't concern ourselves with others,sisters,brothers on their uppers,
what does that make us become?
I really dont know what to say
Whatever, i never do.
But you, know, its kind of funny how
I always muddle through.
I really can't express myself
It would never rhyme.
But, you know, its kind of funny how
i usually do fine.
I have this love relationship,
I have this hate relationship,
it always pays a price.
You know, humans are weird
we take pride in being smart.
But really how smart are we?
We can never do our part.
We can never shut our mouths,
we make people cry,
we make life miserable,
we can't even guide the blind.
You know, people are crazy,
I'm not sure i like them.
You know, what if we were extinct?
What if you and your most loved were left?
Not your family, but the opposite sex
maybe even your best friend, its up to you.
Wouldnt it be so great?
I would raid all the stores,
I would go to Africa,
see in the bad the glore.
Everything depends on money,
im sorry if you dont have it
i really truely am,
because that is definitly tradject.
I'm sorry this poem is terrible,
it doesnt really rhyme
i want to get some thoughts down,
if its incoherant, fine.
It's funny how we love,
because they never love us back
its funny how we trust
then realize theyre bad.
If you understand this,
if you even read this far,
like if you agree-
but you probably wont.
Because thats just how life works,
but ill stick my middle finger up
Please dream well this night
for I want to take you to a magical place
this place is our secret garden
a place out of time and real space
To the pond I will take you whilst you sleep
where fleece is gold on every talking sheep
hear them talk with crimson lipstick on
all my friends come here, to sit by the pond
Sit with me and let your dreams escape
put your fears in my hands
for I will rid you of them friend
you here with me by the pond
See all the creatures that come here to rest
see them knowing each other in loving eyes
stay for a little while friend as my guest
make your kind heart revitalize and your soul rise
For you are by the pond
layered with dreams of hope
here I come when in despair
when I am weak and can not cope
By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
© 2013 NeonSolaris (All rights reserved)
Through the bars I could make out your face
and I began pacing where I'd once lay
Chasing you endlessly in my dreams
No longer able to fall asleep
Out in the yard
I'd trail behind
As we walked the dirt paths carved out in time
and although I was trapped
I didn't mind
As long as I had you in my sight
I imagined us digging our way to freedom
The rain kissing our flesh like it does in film
I could envision us rejoicing and retreating together
Where we could forget the trails we've faced and weathered
It was a summer day in the midst of winter
It was hope found in hopelessness
We could entangle and enrapture eachother
Our tale a constellation told amongst other star gazers
We'd inspire them all to revolt
they'd sing our song while mapping everything out
You've made me believe our time here could be worth something
and a believer I was not
In a hospital with glass walls they can't hide their problems
as the newborn screams and the cancer depletes
the cycle of life is witnessed like a dream
vivid in this reality the harshness of their insanity,
purely demographically calculating each catastrophe
Anxiety and depression, broken bones and unlearned lessons,
overflowing pediatric wings and incomprehensible fallacies
how many angels have to fall before they finally change something?
the way it is just isn't working
genetically modifying the health and well being of humanity
is devil-like control that we've given out freely
each one of us is just as guilty
of giving in without even thinking
they've designed it not only to be easy,
but required, legally
prepared for the community
to not take it so peacefully
"You can't make me" becomes a felony
and a ticket can be written for anything
don't get caught with your hands in your pockets day dreaming...
you silly dreamer human being
theres laws against speaking free, although the constitution disagrees
the law wasn't given it's own set of wings
and jealous was he so he created a scene
and made it seem like a city was their dream
when it never really came close to being
handing out medications and monthly vaccines
instead of homegrown natural remedies