For nothing ever meant more
Than to gain such praise
Equally idolized in thought and emotion
Such as a straight forward maze

Never fetter as to make yourself known to me
Create yourself shimmering and vibrant
Not that you would go unnoticed
But so my expression never fall silent

Stand for what your excellence is
Your true uncompromised nature
You know just as well as I do
Our expression is crafted as a glacier

I feel your deepest expression
You brought yourself into me
As I more than return such favour
We plant such seed to be such tree

And most late nights it's that
There's nothing else that I could do
But lay awake in an empty bed
My solitary thought could only be you

I hate so bad I'm not a better writer. I use to be able to make women fall in love with just my words. I squander my words. They are not mine. They will always be meant for someone else. It will always be their choice to keep or lose my words. Maybe each line was a piece of my soul and its abuse is what made it leave. I will fight the writes block with all my heart.

To write again...for now of past.

My words are lost to such neglect. I abandoned you so carelessly. I lost the heart you held inside and the soul that spoke to me. To find you once again I visit past haunts searching for your coursing song. Words that once have kissed my lips are now forever gone.

For the past...Part One

My love...

Forever locked in a single sentence. I firmly held the sum of all our experiences. Now I know for such a wondering soul. That only constant Muse would catch and keep your eye. Such a poets passion bleeds beneath your hand and spills easily like blood from a razors edge. Paint me once again naked in the moon light glow. Where only lips and our bodies were the median for the art that we transposed. If cold was meant to cease the lust it only fueled our fire. The shadows we played in were games that over took. Made memories that will outlast the soul. If only they could be writtin in the perfect pose. Dancing furiously intwined in the nearly frozen fountains. We made love within the gardens, under our moon with such abandon. If I could once again kiss your breasts floating in that water. Locked deep within your lips my moment of perfect pleasure. The night washed clean acrossed your skin with that sacred water.


one of the most sexually amazing experiences of my entire life and this is what I write! Help me pls

I'm angry in your absence.
You who offered me new views and fortitude
But who took his leave
Your laugh still resonates within my skull
Still frame images swim endlessly
Your words are all I have now
And the Sound waves make my ears ache
When my eyes close tight,
Its like hitting replay
Reverberating from synapse to synapse
Forever there within my thoughts.
Only there is no rewind or pause
Because this is real life...

It only feels like its a movie...

I hear voices..Telling me to do wrong,
Take a life and make it last long,
A serial murders life is what I'm living,
Insane I never said I liked living,
Death on my breath every step I take may be your last,
Beware of a person who will kill your ass!!
I'm foul make you release your bowels,
Gun smoke is my favorite smell,
Yellow tape a body and a police report,
No remorse you will never see me in court,
Case closed, call it an unsolved mystery,
In my own way I'm leaving my mark on history,
There are just too many voices in my brain,
That's why I'm killing everyone cause I'm just insane,
11 o clock where are the children?
If I find them I'm sure to be killing them,
wrapping them up, marking their grave,
A finger or a news clip is all I save,
My beginning is your end,
my intent is to weed out humanity,
Surely why I do it is the reason of a insanity.....

It's because you don't see your perfection.
You don't take the time to,
At least, try and see what others see in you.
You never try and figure out why they are jealous.
You would prefer to sit there and stay confused.
You have the figure of a Goddess,
And the mind of a genius,
But you would prefer to look past that for a few flaws.

People tell you,
"You're gorgeous"
"I wish I looked like you"
And you get that all the time.
You get the compliments,
You get the attention,
You get the jealousy.
You get it all the time.

I tried to save you,
I tried to make you see the beauty in you,
The beauty that you not only have on the outside,
But the inside too.
I know that's a cliche from somewhere,
But it's completely true.

Oh, is that the way it is?
Is that a freaking fact?
How about you meeting me halfway
And we can bridge that gap

You're so sure of yourself, aren't you?
You know just what you're talking about
I believe, perhaps, the greatest virtue
Is in our ability to doubt

Go and tell it on the mountain top
And examine who comes to listen
A bunch of lost souls caught in a trap
All ready to do your bidding

And now the question is;
Just what is your intention?
A sanction for your own beliefs
Or an army standing at attention

March them out to spread the word
The one that you're so sure of
Contented cultures will crash and burn
In the lands that you'll become lord of

Just listen to me for a second
I'm sending you my letter
Second guessing can be a blessing
Quantum questing can make life better

Do you go to sleep in shame and guilt
and fear of future consequence?
Those fears are senseless in their root
Your mind is your divine providence

So let it go and figure out
That no final answer can be preached
Pay attention to the lessons of your life
Realize the ultimate answer is forever out of reach

My last words should I die tomorrow how I wish.

I'm just tired of feeling so hurt and lonely. The pain is far too much to handle. Depression is something I've struggle with for many years now. My many reasons to live were my family, my friends, but most of all my love. Even with those amazing people in my life the depression always hid underneath. Coming out to Barre its ugly teeth when I was intoxicated or vulnerable. I hurt the women I love most in this world. I can't stand to live with that. I'm tired of the many tears. I'm tired of the heart ache. I'm tired of ruining the good things in my life. Please remember me for the goodness in me and not my evil deeds. Rest assured I'm at peace now. I was rarely at peace alive. I hope everyone's dreams of an afterlife were true. I'd love to see those pearly gates or if what I did sends me to hell so be it. Maybe we are apart of gelatinous cube, one of my favorite ideas. If it wasn't I wouldn't have married it. I will never be entirely sure why you left me Alyssa but I love you and I want you to move on with your life. I was a destructive character in yours and everyone else's life. As you know, you're far better off without me. I made some big changes trying to clean up my act but instead it all just came crashing down. I'm glad I died still married to you cause that is how I would choose to go. Having had a loving wife who cared for me deeply. I'm wrapped in your favorite blanket, my head resting on a pillow that still smells like you. In one of my favorite places. Its a frequent of ours when we were stupid kids and we'd sneak out together. Little did I know she was my future wife. I just knew that I adored you. I'm holding the book of poetry you wrote me. I'd like to be barried with it unless Alyssa wants it. She can have anything she wants. You always were a sucker for a poet and I hate that you fell for cheap words when I would of bled right infront of you. You'll find a man with far less flaws and he'll sweep you off your feet. He'll treat you well and wont taint the memories like I did. When you broke up with me the first time. I cried harder then I had ever cried over a girl. You've found another poet in your life. This time when he dies or breaks your heart I wont be there to take you back. You were always my dream girl. My sweet love. My love was my name for you because you embodied every wish I ever sent to the universe. I just had some issues that we couldn't fix. So just hate me and move on. I know this will only push you further into the arms of another man. You were already there when you left though. I also want everyone to know that I want Alyssa to have all my belongings. She knows me better then anyone and she can burn it if she wants. I want her to have my life insurance money also. Please buy yourself something nice. I'm in the same place, in the same car looking over the beautiful lake remembering my perfect moments. When I still made you happy. I remember getting you to fall for me. I will never forget that unique connection we shared. We had so much in common. Our playful nature. The books we loved. The music we adored. How I fell inlove with your brothers. How I had to convince you Jacob was the greatest guy in the world and pushing you to make amends with Gille. I always tried to push you to better yourself and situations. I was off mark sometimes but Gille's your best friend now. You've come to realize how Jacob is an endless friend, a companion til the end. You were blind to so many gifts you were givin from birth. If there was any gift I could have givin you. It was to make you realize what you have. So go find someone better then me, don't ever settle for less then perfect or I'll haunt your sex life. They built a statue of us and put it on a mountain top. I want you to know I was endlessly lusting over you. When you thought the passion died. It was because I forgot what to do. I just needed a little guidance.

Yesterday brought me Tomorrow;
Tomorrow lacking Nothing-
Nothing and everything...

hahaha I just realized off mark

I'm an honest girl.
You're an honest boy.
Let's let love make
Honest fools of us.

However,
We are not liars.
We are not scum.
We will not let love make
Dishonest monsters of us.

Cold dead steely eyes,
Pot bellied fuck faced,
Hairy belly button,
Riding her as she screams.

Dirty sock gags,
Hands tight on her throat,
Grabbing breasts as she fights,
Scratching into my eyes,

Elastic hands ties,
Forcing her legs apart,
Smashing into her thighs,
And slapping her,

Spit into her face,
Kissing salty tears from her face,
Eyes like a dear in headlights,
Swollen puffy rag doll eyes,

Through with fucking your hips,
I force it down her throat,
Make you choke in forceful sips,
Left you crying for you daddy.

This was my love to her :(