As long as there are teenagers extant,
Anomie and alienation of an unripened generation
Shall spill upon this site in cliched cries,
Dabbling with threats of pills and lies,
The endless pain felt gives one fright.
To this old soul who wonders silently,
Will these thousands of pained children
Make it through to their next incarnation
So much angst, so much anger,
I wonder if God created poetry
To salve their wounds.
Their unknown futures loom,
But all I read is hurt and doom.
You shall survive, children.
Awful poetry, some good, you will write.
But write and write till your heart be calmed,
For even ancient kings felt the anguish of the soul,
And we profit even today by King David's psalms.
This wizened fool has his hands full,
Mouths to feed, bread to earn and bake,
As midnight is almost nigh,
He rests prone and adds a verse to this old poem
He long ago scribbled down, grimace-smiles now,
Realizing there is little difference tween him and the
Sad Eyed Teenagers of the Lowland.
For poetry salves his wounds still, even now,
Unashamedly, he thinks, hallelujah!
Even now as I live, sing and paint
Eat drink, love and make merry
Wondering of my source, roots unknown
Aware of this body and the world transient
A pushing soul ever screaming for good
A mind pondering of my seed and state
A million eons past,zillions more in future.
WHO AM I ?!
Still tempted by flesh, corrupted in greed
overcome by the same transience perceived
When the universe expanded shrinks fast
To an atom, a silent sound unheard by earth
I am just bony dust in a star afar dead again
Do I matter? yes I am here and I am now, mindful
Of right and so UN-scared of death,the seed of life
I live paint and sing,for my place on the star afar dead!
I AM THAT.
Jeez,reading after four whiskeys it sounds crazy! What the heck! Still makes some weird sense to me!
A smile like gold,
A heart like dust.
Eyes like the rain,
A face that will only bring pain.
He tells you things,
Like how you look nice.
He kisses your cheeks,
And makes you blush.
Uses your body,
Like you're a doll.
Tells you sweet words,
To make you fall.
Pushes you down and takes control.
He doesn't care about you,
Or anything in this world.
He tells you he loves you,
He tells you he cares.
He tells you he will always be there.
His lips only speak lies,
His hands only do what they know how to do;
They softly brush your heart,
And then they tear it apart.
I looked for you for years,
Before I realised I’d already found you,
The traveller,
Who travelled away from home,
And wondered why it was nowhere to be found.
I can’t seem to make you understand,
You won’t see what I see,
You can’t see what I see,
If you did you’d never look away,
Much as I can’t,
For what light, or sight or scene is your better?
Tell me,
How can I see where I’m going,
If I can’t look away?
I no longer know if you’re an enemy to be overcome,
Or a partner to overcome this with,
You, who are mine at last,
Chasing, chasing, running for you,
Taking blow after blow,
And ridicule,
Finally I have done enough,
And I’ve made you smile.
And no one will ever try harder than me.
You will never be seen as I see you,
And that is why I can’t look away,
When I stop looking it’s gone,
I will be the only one ever to see it,
And I refuse to make you less than you are,
By robbing you of the adoration,
Of a stupid boy,
Who gave you his t-shirt.
Why then do you refuse to return my gaze?
As if I would leave you naked for the world to see,
As if I would let anything hurt you,
I would throw myself on my sword,
Before hurting you
You who will leave me in agony,
Made everything as hard as it could possibly be,
And the better it gets the harder the struggle to keep it,
You would give me the hardest possible task,
For a man with my affliction,
I must let you go,
Before you’ll stay with me.
I must look away.
And so the world would take you from me,
And ill be fucked if I’m going to let it.
Who am I to call someone like you, mine?
Maybe I am not now,
But I will be good enough,
Remember always that,
“She’ll love me,
If I get to the top.”
I have never wanted anything more in my life,
No, sight, no sound, no possession,
No one,
Has ever stole my gaze,
The way you did.
I won’t let that be taken from me.
I will fight,
I will struggle and I will fight,
Against myself,
Ill fight the pain and the memories,
I will fight the world that would take you from me,
So that you can leave,
If that’s what you need,
I will fight and I will win,
Gods and kings have waged war,
For half of this,
And so I go to war,
Over the chance,
However small,
That again I will see,
The girl that stole my gaze,
That as I came back to you all those times,
That this once,
You will come back to me.
Screw your direction, your movement, your view
It still finds no place with me
Screw your depth in attraction to me
It means nothing, I mean nothing
[ But really I do ]
Everything that has become about you
Is so skewed and tethered
Like a wick swallowed by a melted candle
I will have to dig to make you burn again
You are beautiful
From the tips of your toes
To the top of your head
You are beautiful
WIth every move you make
Every time you touch me
Kiss me
Hold me
You are beautiful
From every bone
To every organ
You are beautiful
For the way you smile
The way you look at me
The way you laugh
You are beautiful
And one day
I will make you
See it too
I am hollow like the fragile bones
of birds soaring through the sky
I am numb as the anesthetics used in a surgery
I am quiet yet loud
I contradict myself
from my words and my thoughts
will you still love me when I break
time and time again
will you still kiss my lips
when I retreat into myself
to escape the pain I have seen
the pain I have experienced
I put my thoughts to paper
because my mind is to cluttered to hold them
thoughts spill out in a furious waterfall
of unspoken words
from my closed mouth
will you
will you
see the world as I see it
sit back and observe
the complex emotions, stories, lives
of human creatures
my mind never stops
rambling
I go on and on
I have nothing to say
I have said to much
I am not perfect
I am flawed and misused
I wish to inspire brilliance
but I do not know what to say
take my words away from me
do not do so
I may suffocate and die
I do not know what to say
have I said to much
of pointless things
I have said to little
I like to question the universe
rambling on
will you still care for me
with the invisible tear tracks
on my cheeks
or my uneven teeth
and my eyes that are to large
or do you even exist
will you care for me if you
are not real
this is it
I have lost my mind
bury me with patchwork canvases
of art from long lost lovers
this makes no sense
I make no sense
common sense is creeping into
my raging brain
I need to go to sleep
If we rip out the heart of the sky and try to build
scrapers that make the sky cry
then we're right off the scale
Fail
I'll say
never seen a fail that won a day
and lost somewhere along the way were notions of mortality.
Corporeal hospitality and the thanks of the dead
wine to the head
and grist to the mill
The devil will take you and use the abuse you have settled in
for sin and corruption
a demon concoction
drink hard and long
and the wrong becomes right in your mind's out of sight
and we're all for the knackers yard
hard to take in
kill the world and we've been here and done this for Sweet F.A
Never seen a fail that won a day.
"He was an all right kind of guy.
He said what was on his mind.
Often times it was simple hyperbole
But I understood him well enough.
He seemed to always be in love.
I am just not sure he understood it.
I loved him a lot and he loved me.
He could think of a million reason not to
but he also loved the misery in his life.
He often looked at it as an opportunity to be strong.
He once told me,
'Dad, God wants be to be the strongest thing on the planet'
He was happy a lot, but he seemed to truly shine when
He got to make another just as happy.
I love my son."
~My Dad.
Dear mom, Dear Dad,
I know you don't get along, it's sad.
I hear you fight ,I see your pain.
Just know giving up wont make it go away.
The yelling and screaming became a rountine.
You tune us all out every single time.
I'm sick and tired of all the long nights.
Don't you know that I love you.
I guess I'm a few short of good enough.
Please forgive me.
I pray you happy.
Dear mom, dear dad,
