it takes some people

forty years

two kids

a mortgage

and a divorce

to learn that, sometimes, love doesn't mean a damn thing.

lucky me.

it only took me one you.

I'm trending love.
I'm trending hate.
I'm trending the fact that you always reply a little too late.
I'm telling you that you are less than enough.
And when you fuck me, its a little too rough.
Pounding away like you're shooting a gun.
All too soon.
I never come.
Too pretty to make you feel let down.
Fake it always, you're the shittest rodeo clown.
Take off your fuckin face.
Eat me wide, go on, give me a taste.
Sink your teeth into my bare flesh,
feel my history in my blood
seek me out in all my mess.
I am showing you darling
in my very sweet tones
that my succinct naivety is nothing more,
than what you want from your white ash bones.
I am trending you
I am trending your cock.
I am trending the look you wear
and the music you rock.
I am seeking a feeling more than text, a wink or smiley face.
Look, At, ME.
Am i that easy to replace?
Bitterness is found in the sweetest pill
i'll bend your ass, i'll bend you over,
I'll fuck you at will.
I will move my trend towards your neck
outpour my lack of interest in your ear,
tell you what it is you want to hear.
Fuck you, and fuck your nation.
Fuck your distinctive'taste',
and your senseless judgement and interrogation.
I am not some sweet-ass-fuck-drive-by-shooter-girl,
I have fucking brains,
I am seconds away from tearing apart your world.
I am living safely from behind my defensive line of white hair,
fuck that shit, i don't want closeness
rip my clothes off, don't leave till i'm wanton and bare.
Oh and i am trending your messages
I am trending all of you.
I am not trending depression, fucked up or feeling blue.
I am trending love, trending the great divide.
I made it through and over, to the other side.
I am not what you will ever believe me to be
a glimmer, of a hint, in a riddle, is all you will see.
I am trending what is insane, and what is not,
I am thinking, your thinking of,
'what the fuck has this girl got?'
I am not here to make you laugh, or for you to wish for more,
I am here to be left broken and wet,
on your kitchen floor.
I am trending honest, i am trending passion and life,
I am trending a big fat fuckin smile,
Because I am not your possession or your future wife.
I am not trending your cock size, or  your 16 positions in one night,
I don't want you to cry on my shoulder
I am not trending 'your mother', i have earnt that right.
Look, At. ME.
Second chances rarely come as few
and when i walk away, i will walk away with a taste of you.
I am sweetness, i am luxury divine,
make me bite you, scratch your back, forget the time.
But at my cost, at my control, this will be,
you are not my attachment,
my soul is not your key.
I am trending love, i am trending ME
for what is locked within, is never for free.
Fuck.
Me.
What a trend

It was a moment so chilling when I realized I had feelings for you again.
Yes, again.
This rotation of endless "agains" has kept me up day and night in anger,
love, lust,  but most of all, confusion.
This relation we have is driven by sexual jabs and hurtful comments
designed to inflict the most pain on each other.
This "again" that I feel will fade into nothing more than another hatred for you.
But just like every other time, soon we will both start gazing at each other from across the room
and quickly looking away as though the other hadn't seen our eyes on their face;
We will begin once again lose the offensive spews
and our small conversations will evolve into tense talks with blushed cheeks and hot ears;
Yet somehow, I cannot get enough of this cycle of "agains".
It is addictive like your personality.
It is an obsession like your ability to make me crazy.
I am crazy for you,
but at the same time I fear that this lusty craze with wear off
and we will be left with nothing but silence.
Could this be true admiration for one another? Is this chemical?
Or is this passionate relationship powered on by our teenage hormones and sexually-frustrated bodies?
Just tell me what you want.
If you are happy, I will be content.
I guess, if you look at our situation from afar,
you could say we're in love. I’d disagree.
This is nothing but an infatuation between two people both sharing one common thing:
somebody who they can imitate passionate love with again and again.
I crave your physical touch and your boyish humor.
I need your attention most of all.
You need it too; you need me more than I need you.
How you wish to brush your lips against mine and feel my body and hold my hand and be mine. Nonetheless I wish for that too. Badly.
Nightly I torture myself over what to think, what to want.
But every time this happens, I push you away.
And the cycle of "agains" return, only to ruin us inside even more.

Hannah decided to have a heartwarming party
After all home is where the heart is
So she invited anyone with lungs that breathe
To come share the warming air

She typed up a flier that read:

I welcome you all to see
The moon meet the sun
Cover charge: one body handshake

The drug for this evening will be hugs
I've heard if you have too many or
Squeeze too hard you can
Overdose on love
But we will take our chances

Bring a friend or
Better yet an enemy

Show them that the
Night can dance with the day
It will dawn on them at dusk

This won't be one of those
BYOB affairs
More like bring your own everything
So we all can play emotional musical chairs

Smiles are free
Surrounded by such company
So be sure to RSVP
Even though walk ins are always accepted
It would make me so happy
To know you're coming! :)

nvm

I love the rattle of bones in my head.
The tumbling pieces of some intricate being that hasn’t been created yet. Smooth details rolling around each other searching for the perfect fit. Different sections that want order;
come together; don’t make sense,
rearrange; indiscernible,
once again; ah!
At last,
They are a skeleton.

I sit here so isolate with so much on my mind;
Oh how my heart cry's out to you Jehovah ,
Your words hold my poor heart in the right
Way to go ,
I was so lost and a lone , didn't have nothing I
Could call my own , I didn't even have a home ,
Some time ago I had lost my way of better days;
why?
what have I done? I taken my eyes off of the true
God ; and started walking in darkness , I thought
I could do things on my own ;
Know I cry out ! Please don't leave me ,I need you
Jehovah , I love you I was so wrong to think I was
Better on my own without you to lead the way for
Me to walk ,
This torture of this old darken world ; destroyed me
I can't sleep, My heart keep taunting me , For doing
So wrong , This pain that I feel goes on night and day
kills my laughter, encourages more pain; and keep's
Me so deep in depression  of my wrong's ,
My soul cry's out like a old sad love song of long ago
When psalms of David cry's to come home ,
Jehovah find me ! tell me that everything is going to be
alright , That you are by my side ,
Just know Jehovah ; That I have made a stupid mistake
And I will keep walking in your ways of better day's .
The beating of my heart,and the throbbing in my brain
Was as if I was about to die to an empty place lost men
Call home of ever lasting ;
I had to cry of a reality check , This was not were I wanted
To be ! My heart belong to Jehovah of everlasting love
From heaven above ,
I had to cry many day's and lonely night ; Hoping and praying
You would hear my cry's ,
I had felt you don't want me , But just then I heard a voice say
In the dark pouring rain , Saying I gave my only begotten Son
Jesus to die for you , and for all mankind ,
So just then I could feel my heart mined ,And I new Jehovah head
My cry and told me to live life right in his eyes, From that time on
I moved on teaching others about Jehovah and his law's .

Lilly Emery

Darkness in a room I lay forever
A world that guarantees
Zero security

So I'll lift spirits up and ask,
Trap me in a graceful heaven
Created by a simple unconscionable love.

And just as a last thought,
I'll laugh at my nightmare
And I'll strive to never be
A shadow in memories

I fell in love with your eyes.

The sparkle that I see behind them,
The irises coloured a deep chocolate
Made fresh from a cocoa tree.

The smile that goes with it,
Lighting up a million stars.

The tantalizing look they give me,
Every time they catch my gaze.

Today,
I realize.
I fell in love with your eyes.