The concept of you overflows much of the space within my scattered thoughts.
I want you here to cradle my wind-chapped hands in yours and giggle as I read you my winded attempts at poetry.
I want you to enter into the unknown with me and stay up as I hold you on the nights when the aching takes over us both.
I want you here to fight and wrestle with me over which movie we will cuddle too tonight and I want to listen to you rant passionately about the injustices you have seen in the world today
I want to love every broken piece of you and mend every shattered dream and heartbreak you've experienced back to health
And I want us to work together to take on this world that scares us both to death,
I want you in the most innocent of ways,
But God do I want you,
More than I ever thought one could want a concept of a man who has yet to find a find his way to me.
I hope you’re searching.
I hope you’re wondering.
I hope you’re waiting.
And dear God, I hope you want me as much as I want you.
I missed your birthday that was last year
what got in the way was more than a tear
even though we have been far apart
now is the time to make a new start
I long for your touch and dream of your smile
and to share your days for a very long while
I guess we can take it day by day
I am hoping you're feeling in the same way
my love for you I carry still
I offer my heart, do what you will
If you love me like I'm leaving, I won't go.
If you love me like I'll be here forever, you've already lost me.
If you love me like I'm irreplaceable, I'll take to you with the same respect.
If you love me like you do all the rest, I'll step down so you can make your rounds
If you love me like I'm almost close enough to touch, I'll move in closer.
If you love me with a heavy arm around my shoulders, I'll fall to the weight and sink.
If you love me like I'm all you can see within a 100 mile radius, I'll zoom in on you and won't let your gaze go.
If your eyes wander and roam, I'll do just the same-
For I have no time for anything that isn't breathtaking, capturing, engrossing, daunting, exhilarating or exciting.
I'm not asking for perfection, meticulously crafted love and endless adoration.
I'm asking for a fight, for a consistent effort. I'm asking for you to not give up when you already have me.
If you love me like you don't have me, I'll be yours.
If you love me like you have me, I surely will never be so.
I know my age is a factor; I'm too young to have anything that mature or breathtaking. But I find myself disappointed in what I receive sometimes because I want love that lasts and endures. I want something grand and heart wrenching because it's that damn powerful. It's not ideal or realistic but I just want someone out there to look at me like I'm all there is to be seen, and continue to look at me like that forever. To me, that's love. Never giving up, even when you get all you've dreamt of and more. You keep trying for it, fighting. Because love isn't easy, it's not for anyone who isn't willing to try.
Love is daunting, scary, time consuming, laborious, and so much more. But it is SO worth it. I'm just here, waiting for someone that might look for me for 10 years and never stop looking at me after.
Why did you spend an eternity in the past when now moments spent are few
Why did you fill colors in my life just to now leave me all blue
Why did you make me so addicted to you that now I think of you in whatever I do
Why did you put me in this position where our love cannot come true
God help me forget this precious treasure
Oh how did I arrive to this torture
In this moment I can see clearly
I know you back-stabbed me, you are no longer my friend
You played with my sensitivity
And now you pretend that you never cared, this is the end
I will erase everything about you
Everything you touched and smelled
I am moving on to live without you
I know your love was all pretend
heated flavors and
icy noises, up in the
high strata with
a singed mind of
transcendent swallowed thoughts
your molting feathers
fall down to the cobble stones
proclaiming the name
of the Almighty
up in this planetarium of
a passing smoke
you replace the stars
with gleaming clumps
of barb wire and broken wings
that rattle through the night
of your lost-in-precipitation mind
you see the dreams
of the masses
devoured by green,
which clash with
the medley of floral souls
within your grey matter
you breathe out a sigh
of infinite, one filled with
yearning and spite, radiance and apathy
all those emotional droplets
in that spiderweb mind
perhaps one day
they will see with your eyes
or even the eyes of your eyes
but for now you are stuck
shouting at them to love
a love greater than that of Lady Black herself
but their ears are stopped up
with the spoon-fed lies of the
shiny new picture-box
and they settle for
contentment, and not
They danced on the steps
Of the first methodist church,
Not caring who watched or
How their young feet hurt.
When the clouds rolled over
The sun and the wind ceased
To be breathing, they
Stopped their tom foolery and
Accepted that life sometimes is still.
They walked to the water.
There they saw the ships bound
Across the waves like rabbits
Or horses through golden tinted field.
They were scared for the sailor's,
The sailor's never knowing they
Were thinking of them at all.
After the water, leaving the sailor's
On their waves, they wandered to
The fishermen's docks, where
Crooked poles and wavering hulls
Stood erect and set pointed to the sun.
These were the men of patience
And respect, feeling death and life
Around them in dualistic harmony.
Because they held no lure or pole,
They watched the masters work as
Masters usually do. The sun trickled
Through thin white cloud and the
Wind pushed the twos hair over brow.
The masters were discontent
In their catch and their day. Their frowns
Showed their failure and they wished
That the cold winter weather
Would soon pass them and go away.
The two thinking of two different things,
Then conversed on where they should
Go to next. One said the tower, where she
Had never been before, and the other said
The park, where he had been many times.
Their differences were their love and
Their love was what kept them entwined.
Just then, in the heat of silent argument, a
Master pulled up hard on his bamboo like rod.
"A catch," the man screamed in his native tongue,
"I've got a catch here! Won't you see! Won't you see!"
The two scurried over to where the master
Stood, their eyes peeled to the end of his line. And
As the man reeled and reeled and reeled, he
Soon did reveal a battered tin can and a weathered old boot.
The master plopped the two on the crooked
Wooden dock, cursing to the God in his mind.
The two picked up the boot and the can and said,
"Thank you" and ran up the salty concrete strand.
As they reached their bus stop, they realized
What they'd done and started to laugh at all
Of their fun. The two giggled and cackled,
Screamed and roared, until the two could no longer
Take anymore. After a minute or two, the sky
Straightened out, turning full blue, so the birds
In the sky who soared and cooed, showed they
Really had no rules they were forced to uphold.
The two agreed for home. When their
Bus appeared, they both felt the same, seeing that
Living together was a much better game.
Tomorrow would be another start, just like
Today was another part of a puzzle never
To be finished, only taken to heart.
Now I'm lying on the ground
I tell myself
Remember there's more to life
Just keep looking towards the sky
Only then you'll be one with the sunrise
There's only one way out
And that's what I'm going for
Isn't that what time is all about?
Now the seasons over
And the weathers changing
I had a whole lot of time to think while I was falling
Things never stay the same
There's only today
Forget believing and faith
Life's an art
It's whatever you create
I don't know much about love
All I've had is hate
But I'm still learning
And I'm not afraid
I have feelings I don't even know how deep they run
My hearts been numb
Ands it's always back to the same conclusion
For all the wrong and right reasons
Find the words to say
Let the tears rain
Let them pour down your face
And wash your pain away
The sun will come out
I need something to believe in today
Jealousy is a cruel thing
A green monster who loves to play
The thought of it stings
Didn't notice the fear overcoming me
Now my sanity is going under me
I know what you like to drink to
The bottles blue
Yeah, you love the taste of Bombay
Theres a bottom to that bottle
And your already halfway
I won't lose if life's a game
I'll gamble it till I have no more blood to pay
I promised myself I'll make the pain go away
My lover's dead
and I like him better that way.
When he was by my side,
I did not know what to say
as my heart was always
in a horrid, constant state
of incomprehensible joy,
my emotions so great,
they overtook my mind,
and all I could do
was let myself be loved
and sigh graciously in lieu.
My lover's dead,
but he still haunts my mind.
He hides silently, waiting
in every place I can find,
pulling me to him
with invisible strings
so he can entrap me in the felicity
that young love brings.
But I am tired, so tired,
of being in love,
of the pain that overtakes me
when I am floating above
in blessed happiness,
with him as my wings
waiting to fall,
because love is a capricious thing.
while I watch you sound asleep
I pray to God your soul to keep
with covers pulled tight 'neath your chin
still not sleepy I wonder when
the hands of the clock point 3 am
oh how I long for r e m
a nod, a yawn, anything 'ill do
just to lay snug next to you
so for now I write it true
this sleepy poem called, I love you