Dear Vodka,
These words I regret to send,
Without them I fear my end,
You're always with me in troubled times,
Without you I can’t write these heartfelt rhymes,
You’re 80 proof positive I have a problem,
Though, the more I seek you the less you’ll solve ‘em,
Without you in my life I cry,
With you I know I’ll surely die,
I know I’ll miss your warm embrace,
Please leave my life without a trace,
You've taken so much without return
This position you did not earn,
You entered my world with love lost,
Though your presence here is at a cost,
It’s morning now once again,
Oh how I wish I could abstain,
This whole night long all I think,
Is how I need just one last drink
Not a thought that me haunts,
A smell,
That in fiery times me lends
Respite from hell.
It’s no fragrance wafted in air
No sweet scent,
It I feel right there
As healer of torment.
I smelled it first
From my time in her cavern
It was to begin my thirst
For the love of a woman.
How long has it been
since your black tourmaline eyes
met mine, a long-forgotten coal
all burnt and dead of its use;
very much like the owner.
How long has it been
since your ice cold touch
sear at my hot as hell skin
against each other, so imperfect
yet we are of no danger to each other.
How long as it been
since the murmur of your melodic voice
entwined with my out-of-place tune
be it bickering
or a symphony played on the organ
haunting, yet soothing
as we will always go together.
How long has it been
since the silent treatments that will
usually end with an "I love you"
and the ear-splitting shatter of glass,
screaming anger that whispers "I love you"
wind their way across our lives?
Far too long, far too long.
I used to laugh out loud but today my soul started to cry,
My heart grew roots, into the earth, so dry
How do I tame this swirling storm?
Battering my mind until its torn,
How do I fix it? Is it even broke?
Are my words just my mental smoke?
From my innards as they burn,
In the ashes, is where I learn,
Who I am and what I've become,
Could I really be the one true ONE!?!
"True"
I've never known,
Love for me has always been a stone,
Hard and cold,my warmth never felt,
I do my duties like no one else,
Then again....maybe I don't,
I'm suffocating from all my mental smoke,
It's in me...like a treasure to find,
Nobody has ever had the right mind,
One choice, to live my life,
Reality is cold and cuts like a knife.
He's incredible, sweet and gentle like a rose
and the way he holds my hand
as we're busy making plans
wonderful gentleman
just the way he holds me tight
every touch makes me weak
makes me drift off to sleep
the passion is intense
makes you forget everything
makes you forget all the pain
makes you want to love again
Devil with a charming heart
tears your security walls apart
electricity when we touch
he's like a dream
is this reality?
feels like Heaven to me
If I'm to believe in a higher power,
then every second feels like an hour.
When it's spent away from you,
heaven seems plastic and untrue.
But if Gods are a delusion,
then you'll pardon my intrusion.
There's no plan, no we, no "one".
Without love, my soul is gone.
Yet, if this cosmos was designed,
there is a port I have to find.
But if it's simply chemistry and dice,
then my heart can live on ice.
Wake me up when we can travel in time,
when we can turn our blood to wine.
And if you could be mine,
that would be divine.
Is there a God?
I don't know, I haven't met you.
perfection is found in the wake of your smile,
the full sound in your voice as it breaks.
an instant effect it pours onto me,
the tone of my voice as it shakes.
perfection is painted on butterflies,
spinning wildly down in your core,
caused solely by words I have spoken.
I know that you keep wanting more.
perfection is spoken as earth sleeps,
your love as we still lay alone.
you may seem so painfully far from me,
but I still try to call you my own.
I had my heart broken
By a boy who likes to pretend
That he never liked me
-- except my heart didn't really break,
because it was never his.
It was more like I was lonely, and he was there
so I let him hold me and, he let me hold him
-- and explained to others that
"this is my way of showing I care, but I don't really, truly care,
I don't love her"
"I don't have feelings for you" --
he told me after he had picked up the phone
this girl called (maybe another me)
I just said I didn't care and stared at the ugliest leaf I've ever seen
So I didn't really have my heart broken
But it's easier to say I did
and more exciting, tragic
more romantic to say I did
I took the train home today
although I was surrounded by the busy society
going about their day, I was alone
I had no one to call a company-
well, other than my phone
and also the 2 different people
who sat next to me through my journey.
I took the train home today
usually you would come with me
(I sat by myself)
we would sit on the 3-seater seat;
(I leaned with a sigh at the edge of the 4-seater)
2 for us and 1 for our bags
(just one for me and my bags on my lap)
you next to me, and our shoulders touching
(just my shoulder with a stranger and a glass pane)
we would talk about our week during college
(I mentally talked to myself about what happened)
we would flirt with humour and touch
(I stared into the distance imagining you here)
our stop-stations next to each other, yours first to leave
(I dropped off at a different station today)
you would get off and wave me goodbye until I'm out of sight
(I stared past your station with a lonely heart)
I would quickly get off on mine and text you I've arrived
(I walked out and stared at the train as it leaves)
I took the train home today
as I sat alone in my own little corner, I wondered
is it sad that our love is only true in the train we take?
If so, I will keep getting on our train
if it means you will come back
and we will relive our imagination
just us in our own little world.
I cant focus on anything
just have migraine headaches
everything's passing really fast
not a whole lot's working out.
They're talking to them
behind my back
and not saying a thing
inside I laugh
and you tell me not to hold against you
my past but look at what you're doin'
you were just out to hurt me
bothered me all the flirting
not you, not him, but the whole situation
you nod, then proceed on,
and then you told them our secrets
it trips me out wonder
if you talk about
the same things as us do
only more detailed
and he makes you smile
and so you tell him all about my problems
how I'm insecure
how I treated you rotten
how it makes me sad
your'e so nice to other dudes
he agrees with you asks what can he do
and you think hes just being nice
his secret agendas
hes going to serve to you
you love like you say you love me
I don't really know if Ill ever be happy
the things give to others rarely come back at me
but what should i expect
nothing
cuz everyone just takes care of our own selves and we all fix our own needs
