this oppressive fatigue
pushing, blanketing my consciousness
watching as numbers swim into ink that
bleed all over the page
and daydreams turn into nightmares
and love is as transparent as fragile glass
when balance is balancing on a tiny pill
and the headaches don't come and go
but swell and retreat
never really there, never really gone
just as you are
never really there, never really gone
I stay as still and silent as possible
but I am
running, screaming down the hallway
tearing at the demons pounding on my temples
crying big salty tears
that soak my face and are lost somewhere
in the atmosphere
I know and have known what it's like
to drown for
and still be alive.
The little white light
on the Christmas tree
it did shine
If you believe in miracles
They can come true
The little angel on the Christmas
Tree her wing it was broken
But the little bright light
shone down on the broken wing.
The mystery magic appeared
The little angels wing was now
All the little toys jumped in sheer delight
for the little while light shone ever so bright.
Now Christmas will be remembered for
The Love that was given by a babe that was
born from heaven.
What can I say,
I love the attention of temptation.
because I am the one holding the apple
granting the answers you seek.
Because I am curious to what bodies feel like
especially my own, made new by new hands.
This poison goes down with the sweetest burn,
hot and heavy, slowly dissolving
its always in the eyes.
And the drugs never work, quite the way you want them too.
With a numb throat I hold my words for ransom
We never quite reach out toward each other,
and never know why. There is only glimpses and smiles, and hearts quickening for a brief longing
that lasts til dawn
like spell, or perhaps a curse.
But we aren't in a fairy tail
and I'm too busy chasing my dreams
and befriending my nightmares,
to chase you.
I'm running with the wind.
It snowed all day today
First snow of the season
From the time I woke up to the moment I went to bed
The snow was so powdery
All there was, was glitter in the air
You see, I still want to tell you about my day
Because there are people that come in our lives
And they mean so much it doesn't make any sense
But they do.
I find myself still writing for you
Even though you don't want me to
But after a hundred poems it's hard to stop
My word's seem to come easy when I'm hurting
Often though, angry words are not meant
And actions are unfairly judged just through words
I'm not trying to get back what we had
But no one should feel not good enough.
We may accept the love we think we deserve
But often we deserve far more than we think.
And hush, you did. You do.
I keep checking in on you to make sure you're okay
And it kills me to know that you're not
What you consider flaws are simply the
Little quirks I saw back on your porch that made me smile
I hope you live; that you are more than just alive
Because I know you are a good person
Who deserves all the happiness and love in the world
And I would have gladly spent
The rest of my life proving it to you
Someone can't go from being the center of your world
Straight to nothing over night
I too, still think about you always ...
It's only been a week...
Please, don’t mind that I borrowed your words again
Because I’m in love with the is-ness
Of you, of thought, of the Cosmos
Like two mirrors looking upon each other
Infinitely close, no identity to be seen
And every thing, every instance, every bit of this Universe holds this in its being.
And the awareness of this
Is that in itself.
We are greater than the sum of our parts
Each atom is a part of us, as we are each a part of this vast creation.
So to fathom what all is, is to see into the heart of the cosmos
And I see you
And I see me
And we are both and all, is.
And now more than ever, all I believe in is love.
I want to see u...but then I don't....I shouldn't ever worry cus I know u won't.
We could have the most wonderful romance....just u and me.... and tooether is how we should be.
I wish u could feel how much I truly love u.....cus there'd be no denying.....I know u feel somethg too.
I don't want to loose u as a friend.....u always said that no matter what that we would always be....and it doesn't seem like that is true....since u hardly ever talk to me...
I know u miss me as I do u.....please don't keep making me ache so badly for u...
We both lied from day one.....let's start fresh.....no holding grudges...and no bringing up past insidences
We need to grow not dwell on stupid shit that doesn't matter now....I want to start over and make it right with u and forever can start now.
Maybe, its time I tell you,
maybe its time to speak up.
I'm no longer in a stage where,
your voice pops up in my head,
and makes me wonder where you are.
what you're doing.
Your name no longer sends me into
fits of remorse, nor anger.
The harshness of what you now think of me,
no longer stops me in my tracks.
I don't ask myself what you would think,
because I know you don't care,
and also, I don't need you to.
I'm my own person and you wanted to change that.
You wanted to change me.
Recreate me to fit the image,
of what you always dreamed.
No longer do I ponder upon decisions,
based on how your feelings would apply.
No. I'm no longer a slave to your feelings.
Now, I'm simply me.
I do what I want, how I want, and when I want it,
and theres no one to stop me.
I indulge in nicotine, and don't get the third degree for it.
I'm accepted as I am and I like it.
I'm no longer yours to control, and I'm in love with it.
Yards from tedium
dress doffed falls
like the leaves in autumn
in a hot Nashville summer.
A collision of harmonious
poles apart but pressed together
at last with each thrust
better then every imagined
movie-reel of possible moments
this one could have been.
The trees crept in on us,
our minds a tunnel of love,
curiously smelling the travels
trod and the passion playing,
curious as they were sprinkled
by salt water and shock
that quaked the very bounds
of possible reality.
A memento left to the gods
under the leaves, sacrificed
for reasons only the nether knows
or perhaps the trees rarely wakened
from long meditation wrapped
and rooted our union in
precious metaled memory.
Natures endless breath
exhaled on our satiated souls
gripping the miracle in tight arms,
never wanting to let go
and wishing truly
to never have to.
you told me
how beautiful i am when i sleep
you told me
how irresistible it is to steal me a kiss
you told me
how peaceful you feel giving me a hug
I wish i could lie to hide the truth
But im a terrible lier and we both know this untold fact
All i thought when being with you was my love
She must feel beaten down,
she must feel like crying.
The questioning seems unbearable
her past is so frightening.
So young to be taken
ripped from her home
from family and friends
and a life of her own.
Only 14 years old
so naive, so unknowing.
An innocent life now emotionally stolen.
Forced to live in a prison
to do things unwanted.
Forced to be hurt and humiliated
could she overcome it?
Wittingly she decided
she would stand up and fight
even if it meant she might have to die.
But 50/50 is better than no chance at all
and if she did nothing
this would be, her only dance and fall.
Her skin turned to leather
her wheels started turning
she vowed to herself she would
end the hurting.
Skilled she began
studying her captors
and adopted a plan.
Her plan of escape
brought them back to the place
where the search did not end
though they told her it did.
Where the love she remembered
was so much stronger than them.
In Salt Lake City the police took her in
they reminded her of a life
she could call home again.
Then courage took over
firmly she took her stand
against the impossible
and like a tree she stands.
11 years later
roots firmly planted deep and strong
she smiles big at the camera
happy to be alive,
content with her outcome.