Love! you dealt a bitter blow –You lay me cross the mortal plains,Bedewed, bedimmed amongst a show
Of tearful clouds of eternal rains.
Even now as I live, sing and paint
Eat drink, love and make merry
Wondering of my source, roots unknown
Aware of this body and the world transient
A pushing soul ever screaming for good
A mind pondering of my seed and state
A million eons past,zillions more in future.
WHO AM I ?!
Still tempted by flesh, corrupted in greed
overcome by the same transience perceived
When the universe expanded shrinks fast
To an atom, a silent sound unheard by earth
I am just bony dust in a star afar dead again
Do I matter? yes I am here and I am now, mindful
Of right and so UN-scared of death,the seed of life
I live paint and sing,for my place on the star afar dead!
I AM THAT.
Jeez,reading after four whiskeys it sounds crazy! What the heck! Still makes some weird sense to me!
fuck you Malcolm
you beautiful bitch
the skin that your shedding
is making me itch
the trains coming closer
the tracks starting to throb
the crowds getting louder
more like a mob
run Malcolm run
who ever you are
jump Malcolm jump
get into the car
get the fuck out of town
before they catch on
that the buildings on fire
and the moneys all gone
fuck you Malcolm
you unknown neuron
you lone made up being
i thought upon
oh but i love you baby
get the fuck outta town
i feel everything will be better
when you're not around
go Malcolm go
get out of my head
and onto the page
i think Malcolm
seems a good name for rage.
it just came out
like vomit
and it felt good.
My brother attempted to jump off the roof.
Hey, can I tell you something Andrew?
Been there, tried that.
It's not worth it.
I took you into this family because I love you.
Not so you could jump off my roof and end your life.
Now come here and lay back down.
I need to dream a good dream with you here.
Trying to jump off the roof...
Hmph!
You need to get your act together.
You are supposed to be the sane one in our siblingship.
Did it ever occur to you what I might think?
Let's drift to sleep, Andrew.
Just you and I.
Just like old times.
I'm in the mood to tell someone that I love them.
But there are no fresh recipients to whom I would not be lying.
And also scaring.
I am emotionally frustrated.
And bored of shying from drama.
I'm in the mood to call out every man who laughed.
And every woman that said nothing and looked away.
And point out, calmly, that they were always wrong.
I would give them a chance.
I would stick to my guns, and prepare to fire more often.
I need to be involved and vulnerable.
I need to be open to conflict.
Attack is the best form of defense.
I looked for you for years,
Before I realised I’d already found you,
The traveller,
Who travelled away from home,
And wondered why it was nowhere to be found.
I can’t seem to make you understand,
You won’t see what I see,
You can’t see what I see,
If you did you’d never look away,
Much as I can’t,
For what light, or sight or scene is your better?
Tell me,
How can I see where I’m going,
If I can’t look away?
I no longer know if you’re an enemy to be overcome,
Or a partner to overcome this with,
You, who are mine at last,
Chasing, chasing, running for you,
Taking blow after blow,
And ridicule,
Finally I have done enough,
And I’ve made you smile.
And no one will ever try harder than me.
You will never be seen as I see you,
And that is why I can’t look away,
When I stop looking it’s gone,
I will be the only one ever to see it,
And I refuse to make you less than you are,
By robbing you of the adoration,
Of a stupid boy,
Who gave you his t-shirt.
Why then do you refuse to return my gaze?
As if I would leave you naked for the world to see,
As if I would let anything hurt you,
I would throw myself on my sword,
Before hurting you
You who will leave me in agony,
Made everything as hard as it could possibly be,
And the better it gets the harder the struggle to keep it,
You would give me the hardest possible task,
For a man with my affliction,
I must let you go,
Before you’ll stay with me.
I must look away.
And so the world would take you from me,
And ill be fucked if I’m going to let it.
Who am I to call someone like you, mine?
Maybe I am not now,
But I will be good enough,
Remember always that,
“She’ll love me,
If I get to the top.”
I have never wanted anything more in my life,
No, sight, no sound, no possession,
No one,
Has ever stole my gaze,
The way you did.
I won’t let that be taken from me.
I will fight,
I will struggle and I will fight,
Against myself,
Ill fight the pain and the memories,
I will fight the world that would take you from me,
So that you can leave,
If that’s what you need,
I will fight and I will win,
Gods and kings have waged war,
For half of this,
And so I go to war,
Over the chance,
However small,
That again I will see,
The girl that stole my gaze,
That as I came back to you all those times,
That this once,
You will come back to me.
and then,
in a single second
all of this euphoric nonsense collapses gracefully into the twinkling light that ever so gently reveals the depth of the reality and the order in the complexity of all the wonders You have done,
for me.
and I am in love. More so than ever before.
Get up.
No turning back.
No standing still and no turning back,
You’ve only so much time to go as far as possible.
Ever the mountain that needs to be scaled,
Always, something needs to be done,
Do this and you’ll be happy,
Go there and you’ll be happy,
No,
Only way to do this is to be better,
Because she’d never want you like you used to be.
Long forgotten what level ground looks like,
Only way is up,
There’s still this mountain,
That needs to be scaled,
If they can do it so can you,
Look at them up there,
Looking at you,
Asking who you are to stand where they stand.
Ill find a checkpoint every now and then,
They always tell me they’re the top,
Always tell me I’m done, I can stop walking,
But I know better,
I shan’t stay and comfort the fallen,
By falling myself.
I will climb this mountain,
Find the finish line in the dark,
Ill endure it all,
Time and again,
Safe in the knowledge,
That she’ll love me,
If I get to the top.
They told me not to burn bridges but I love the smell of smoke.
Let's hope they hear the sound of your voice feel its deserved choke.
If you were even worth it, then I'd gladly cut you down,
but I think I'll let you get crushed by your
phony fucking crown.
If I should say, what
brings me to this well,
the fresh morning dew,
the rays from the sun,
heaven and earth
Each day, I thirst for
for your love and
I return to this
same well, because
my heart needs
drink and I will not
deprive it of basic need
My heart returns to this
well, not only for drink,
but to rescue a fair maiden
from the evil clutches of the
dragon who dwells in a
cave near the village of doom
