Is the rest of the world frozen in time?
Or am I just ahead of the world?
The world will go round
Time will forever go on
I will surpass life
Loved someone else
How I love you
This might just be crazy
You feel this too
I love you
You walked into the room and made my eyes burn,
They told me the world was built for two
But this desolate solitary desertion is exclusive to me.
Is it by mistake or design,
that I feel so lone.
It was better than I ever knew.
Now I do,
Did you answer my question?
If you'd still love me when I had nothing?
Maybe you did.
I just didn't like you're answer.
Now I do.
Now you realize what you did,
you took it too far, this time it was to deep, to raw,
now its going to be hard for us both.
I asked for your help
' Its never ending, I again want to die.
Please tell me why?
Be my Soul Mate now just talk to me
help me find my life again.
Not with you, just my life. '
I couldn't get your abuse out of my system
"You need to do the leaving"
"Let's die rather then not be together"
"Only with You".
The ongoing flashbacks
me to do what you wanted
heightened in Athens.
Questioning all that happened
what did it mean
Fucking my soul and body
I couldn't disentangle from it
And you continued it
with your talk and talk.
Your lies of reflection and regret
Your abuse of my love and belief
Then my desperate wish was granted
You made contact via a third party
You said on reflection
to address the end, to answer my questions,
to give us some meaning, to help us move on with our lives
you cared about my life, to be honest.
the day, the place, the time, the third party all set
then you renegade last minute, no explanation, once again shut me out
without a thought for my life, you willful behavior, ongoing abuse.
So finally now I know you are a pathological liar.
I don't give a fuck about you anymore.
Its like I have woken from a nightmare
I have no more energy for you
I am not afraid of the fall out of exposing you
I will no longer protect the secret.
The legal proceedings will tell the truth
And you will have to face your demons.
I will move on with my life
which is so much bigger than yours.
I will fight on to free myself from
My life no longer tenuous.
This is the end of my series of poems - love and deception.
The courts will be my voice.
I didn't know true happiness till you came into my life.
I didn't know true heartbreak until you walked away.
It came and went quicker than night and day.
When I close my eyes I can hear you laugh.
I like to smile because it reminds me of how we laughed together.
When I'm alone I imagine your arms wrapped around me in an embrace.
Because you gave me the best of hugs.
When I play piano I can see you over my shoulder smiling away.
Your smile always made me happy.
But when I hear your name my body breaks down.
I am unable to move, think or breath functionally.
A shiver down my spine, goosebumps on my arms.
The tears I shed for you make me feel sick inside.
Like my heart is rotting more and more with each thought of you.
My whole being is being ripped away and torn to shreds.
Everyone can see through me and my X-ray heart.
They can see me decaying inside getting darker and colder.
I can never shed a tear for anyone but you.
I will never love again because of you.
Walk by me again and see my X-ray heart.
I dare you to try and say it's not you.
I will open my mouth and darkness will pour out.
I will begin to burst and bleed.
I will fall down upon my knees.
And finally I will be free.
See you in the afterlife.
I'm the type of person,
Who chooses the dented cans of soda.
The type of person who picks up the
Crumbling piece of cake,
Instead of a whole one.
I have a $10 dollar phone with a shattered screen
Instead of the phenomenal $400 iPhone.
I choose the notebook with torn pages,
To write my broken poems in.
And I choose the broken-hearted people
You may not see it,
The pain in my eyes.
I watch you leave,
Silently praying you'll return alive.
I may brush away your words,
I may stiffen with your hugs.
I may ignore your rules,
And show you no love.
But deep down,
At the bottom of my broken heart.
I love you with my all,
I love you with everything.
I don't want to lose another parent,
I don't want to see you go.
I dread the day where I will have to say,
Happy Mother's Day, my wonderful Mother!
the wind abused me today
while i was walking home from work
it screamed at me
to get going, move along
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR
it chucked dust in my eyes
and messed up my hair
it was loud and i began to cry
because my mind was also loud
and before i knew it, they began competing
i couldn't distinguish the difference between them
all i heard was
you're not good enough no one wants you
your mother doesn't love you you're a failure
waste of space waiting always waiting you're going
to spend your whole life waiting
what a pathetic little girl you are keep walking that's right
one foot after the other keep going don't stop
nothing will turn out how you want it to
you don't deserve anything good you never did you never will
and i just wanted to scream but i couldn't
sometimes i feel like if i'm quiet enough
then the physical silence will be like a lullaby
that will slowly lull the internal thunder
to hushed lightning
but that is rarely ever the case
i hate the wind
i hate this city
sometimes living gets so hard that it's a wonder
we all don't get a million dollar reward for living
through the worst hours, minutes, seconds
of our days
when we get so tired of existing but keep existing
how do we do it? how do we keep going like we do?
is it bravery or just necessity or just indifference?
i'm so tired
tired of existing
i just want to put ear muffs on and stay underneath
the covers forever
the hardest thing in the world
is being paralyzed with fear of the unknown
and living through it anyway.
If you feel I love you less.
I'm gonna prove I love you more.
From the moment that these doubts enter your head.
I'm gonna do a show and tell.
Every action I take will be by design.
And not by mistake.
If you feel you deserve more.
I'm gonna give you more than you could ever imagine.
Truly worthy of being cherish.
Worthy of being loved forever more.
I Hate That You Don’t Consider My Feelings.
I Hate The Way You Make Me Feel Small.
I Hate That You Feel Like You Can Just Walk In And Out Of My Life Whenever You Feel Like It.
I Hate That I Let You.
I Hate How You Just Don’t Care About How It Will Affect Me.
I Hate How You Pretend To Like Me When You’re Really In Love With Her.
I Hate How You Use Me. Again, I Hate How I Let You.
I Hate You.
I Love It When You Make Me Laugh.
I Love The Way You Kiss.
I Love It When You Come Over.
I Love The Way You Look At Me.
I Love Whenever I Put Myself Down, You Always Bring Me Up.
I Love It When You Smile.
I Love It When You Do Impulsive Things Because You Just Don’t Care What People Think.
I Love When You Randomly Text Me Or Message Me.
I Love How Smart You Are.
I Love The Way I Am Around You.
I Love How Much Of An Asshole You Can Be To Other People But You’re So Nice To Me.
I Love It When You Hold Me In Your Arms.
I Love It When You Carry Me When I’m Too High To Walk.
I Love Skating With You.
I Love Talking To You.
I Love The Way You Look At Things When You’re Deep In A Conversation.
I Love You.
Will you still love me,
When I wake up in the morning feeling like shit?
And looking like shit.
Will you still love me,
When I dirty your shirt with my makeup
Because my mom wanted to make me feel like a whore,
Will you still love me,
When I get annoyed at the world,
Because everyone decided to be assholes,
And I end up telling you to leave too.