I want to mow the grass in your heart
so maybe weeds will stop growing in the chambers.
I see how your breath is interrupted sometimes, you hiccup
out of an intoxicating sadness
mall fountain no one tosses their dimes and wishes in.
I bought you a set of those antique hairbrushes, hand mirrors
so heavy in their silver lace
beautiful like doilies or handkerchiefs for sneezing.
May it bring you silkworms rather than one from slimy earth.
Dear you, it can be okay not to talk about
how you feel and who you love and why you love me
as long as you feel it, please know that I believe it is there.
It can be okay to brush your hair looking into a vanity,
pretending that I am your lover overseas
because you feel that way
vines as big as the Berlin Wall block your heart from mine.
And still, we love
despite the wasp nest, the sadness bugs inside.
I think that was when the numbness first settled in.
First it devoured the tangible parts of my life.
Food didn't taste, blankets didn't warm, hugs didn't comfort.
I watched it steal away my family. Somehow the love we had shared was frozen.
It took all that I could see, leaving me with almost nothing to hold.
It was still hungry, and swiftly infiltrated my heart.
That's why I didn't want you anymore. It's because I knew I couldn't love you.
I sat and couldn't feel. I tried but I'd forgotten how to feel.
I bet you know how the winds of a story blow
You've felt them flow through your hair with ease
From a strong gust to a slight breeze
I'm sure you've seen what the words in the weather mean
The sky has spelled it out and spoken to you
Screaming storms or softly staying serene
I fear that you've felt the fire of the frost bite
A ferocious cold fever flowing through you
A frozen reminder of your failure
I hope you've heard the song of the blizzard
It's the same one that brought those teeth but
With a message in a melody sounding underneath
I think you've had a taste of ticking time
A bittersweet bite of moments
Some seconds savory
Some sour and stick around longer to form hours
I trust that you've learned the truth in fading youth
The progress of conviction and
The consistency protest
But now I ask you to live the love of life
Nothing else can bring existence justice
Catharsis
Perhaps I only
love you for your
promise of extinction.
When the pain becomes unbearable I take my headphones and cover my ears
I turn the volume up to block out their banters
Eric Himan Fill my soul with words that make me feel okay
let your Folk calm the angry waters in my soul
Mother Monster let me know that I am safe
and I should never give up
Adele teach me of love lost
Ke$ha let me party till I feel my body go numb
All of you!
Sing! Sing and be my shield!
Guidence
Dont Make me laugh why was my sister and me brought up
On so much domestic violence both got raped
Forced in to silence
No confessions on tape
Batterling demons with
No escaping this lions
Den hearing your
Words but you lied like
The rest of them complications in our
Family home learned
To stand alone burned
From the sceans these
Eyes were shown
Seeds but no water to
Help us grow no all I wish is I was buried so
Far below in a hole which caved in to make
Me pay for every sin
I made for this f..ked up
Life you gave my young heart crushed nothing left to save the pains ingraved im to weak trying to act brave
Death is all I seek from the cradle to the grave
Inslave my self to a being
That im only seein
In these nightmares we share f..k your pitty cos
Im a man who rarely cares barely able to stay stable on my own two
Feet traumatised victimised please let these visions die in peace hell bound on
My
Souls
Release
Held down
So take another piece
..... Of my life heart love
Affection it doesnt matter any more
Theres nothing you cant
Do to me thats already
Been done ......
Dropped some purple haze with Jimi,
we created castles with polished beach glass,
then we fused with acid-laced clouds.
Kissed the sky
so high
Jimi started bawling,
his torrential tears washed us down and out to sea.
Each drop of water became a pixel,
until reality morphed into a painting of musical notes,
and the music transformed back into a fresh reality.
There wasn't any more doubt
whether we were experienced now -- and how.
The tide washed us up into heavy crosstown traffic.
Jimi wandered down Hoodoo Blvd,
I became a voodoo child
gobbling up sugar cubes filled with liquid sunshine.
I watched the yellow cabs race by,
watched the heavy metal race by.
Jimi was jacked into electric ladyland,
his radiant smile hiding pain,
and covering other people's lies.
Even so, Jimi believed in his message,
sincerity set him apart from the crowd,
which is why he made sure
not to let his smile, wither and die.
But the more that his manager pushed,
the more that Jimi's pusher came....
Jimi was hypnotized by the flashbulbs of fame,
attempting to out-run a childhood filled with shame -
blowing out speaker stacks
with that twisted pedal magic,
spellbinding incantations
vibrated from his guitar,
making love to the sky with rainbow hues
of acid rock-induced rolling blues.
Jimi simply wanted someone to love him back
even half as much as he could,
for Jimi's love was honest and hard,
with wings waiting to be released
into a world not yet ready to be free.
Kissed the sky.
Kiss the sky
so high.
When I am able to control my daydreams
If only for a second
I grab the opportunity to think of you, to envision us
I capture the moment as it fades into the darkness
And save the file securely in my brain.
Reminiscing about my self-controlled journeys always lifts me up
Keeps me at ease
They can force their blurred negatives into the slideshow
But, inside me, I am smiling
I push their visions away, turn back the page
And continue.
I will never know if it is your own doing
But you save me.
Our wave of love and happiness washes me clean of doubt and fear
Rendering their attempts pointless
Keeping my spirit high
Keeping the rope safe in my hands.
You save me.
In need of joy, I think to you
And you save me.
When I need no joy, I think of you
You are my savior.
Maybe it was me
Maybe I crowned you my hero
But either way my love,
Illusions are temporary, images are forever,
You have saved me.
If only Paris drunk drugged wine
Before arrived that fated night,
Could have avoided death's design;
The ships would have taken no flight.
Alas, Helen of Troy he spied,
Her beauty did so coincide
With Aphrodite's winning plea;
From then he knew his love must be
Realized, no matter the blood shed,
Consequence nor Meneláus thought;
In end his feeling merely wrought
Philoctetes wounding him dead;
Better off' that he drank before,
His fate the same but 'least no war.
You said you would always love me,
Joke's on me
I believed in love,
and believed in you.
You promised to never leave my side.
Never is a long time.
I should have taken out insurance,
on loneliness and solitude.
You weaved your way into my web,
now we are all tangled up.
I can't live with you,
can't live without you.
Am a dripping mess of tears.
You took over my heart and filled it up,
with beautiful lies and silent promises.
I assumed too much when you said it was something,
I should never have listened to my soul,
when it whispered your name.
