I love you so much
That I can not tell
I wish I could tell you
Just how i feel
If I tell you though
You'll just laugh and scream
But I hope you feel
The way I do
When I'm near you
I feel the love
the love that I hide
from my heartbeats
I can't look at you
from the love that I hide
I feel like I wanna fly
when I'm near you
I always offered every part of myself, to you
So when I found out about what she had done,
How she had made you feel
Hurt seeping from your every pore,
I rushed down right away
To be there.
But in the process, I have realized something
To not put myself first, before you,
Is killing me
That is the worst part of it all,
To watch myself continue to give to you,
The things that I no longer have
To watch myself continue to hold you,
When it's all just false comfort
A way for me to feel okay about
the things that have taken place
I still am trying.
Does that speak volumes,
or am I running around in circles again?
I always wanted to go somewhere with you,
Anywhere but where we remained,
And you taught me to love,
but in ways that were too late,
In ways that I noticed
Long after the fact
In ways that I could not validate,
Yet you never validated me,
Never any part of me
I want to know what makes you hurt,
Just like you spilled those dirty secrets to her,
Yet was I never good enough to know?
We shared everything else,
But I realize now that she may have known
you better, within the span of a two week time
I sat on my knees, hands clasped, begging you
You accused me of never asking,
But it doesn't mean I wasn't still thinking,
Wasn't still aching for you to reach out
I shouldn't be the one to pry
I just didn't want be that girl,
Yet she was that girl for you
And look where it got us,
Back to the same place, all over again
Rewind and repeat, and yet
I'll still be here.
another year older
but it feels as if a life time has passed since i last stood in this place
my face hasn't aged
there isn't a damn thing that stays the same
the boys are going grey
the girls have all run away
and those who haven't
stayed behind to master the art of procreation
we haven't been bright eyed kids
for quite some time now
we cry now
twice as often
and thrice as sly
our eyes stay dry in the daylight
for the sake of acting strong for those we love
but we'd love nothing more to unwind
to hide behind the curtains
and watch our sorrows flow downward
forever pirouetting towards the sea
happy birthday to me
birthday cake taste like a musty wake
when layered with day-old whiskey breath
and somber advice for the future
shared by older souls
my best-dressed celebration turned death-day contemplation by the ill-fated sands of time
i'm getting way too old for this shit
I would tell you that I love
you so insanely much, it hurts me.
But we are not meant
to be here,
We are not meant to spill our
secrets to one another,
We are not meant to to sleep side by side,
I was not made to be your sacrifice,
and you were not made to be mine.
If a tragic love story has a
tragic ending, ours would be the
most tragic of them all.
Only about a boy who loves a girl,
A girl who loves a boy,
and a world that destined them
to be apart,
not by choice,
but because it just wasn't
An Apple a day;
You and I shared this day;
by cutting it half in nude;
From one angle I saw you,
No thirst; No hunger;
at the hanging dried-up breast;
from another angle;
Just like a pale;
Ruined, dead body;
You became the debris
of a divine love
inside your womb;
no more little seed can grow;
And you remain so simple; humble
Beside a sharp knife on the top
of a dining table!
(All poems in this series are, translations from Malayalam, originally written in author’s mother-tongue, “Malayalam’”, the language of Kerala, in South India.)
BY WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
Curtains fluttering gently, warm breeze floating in through the wide open window, humid the smell of summer evening, one of those intense nostalgic kinda smells, and the sound of people laughing in the gardens. Your arms wrapped around me, our bodies touching naked. The sun slowly going down on us, your lips breathing hot breath on my neck licking. Yeah that’s what I love about the summer, humid hot sticky sweaty sex during the day lying naked, smoking drinking sleeping waking fucking eating and then sleeping some more. And then in the evening we will shower, I’ll put on some jeans and a shirt, you wear a skirt and some heels, I want to show you off to the world.
I thought of it all day and well into the night
That for you a poem I would write.
What words can you use to describe a person
You’ve never seen.
Then a realization came into my mind
I’ve been writing them for a very long time.
Every time we write about GOD and his begotten son
The words flow freely and never left undone.
So it matters not if it is sight unseen
We write about everything- it’s a poets dream.
Poets go into worlds never traveled before
Seeking all that GOD has made
And come back with knowledge that they’ve gained.
Into the realms of mystery, love, excitement and fear
So that with you these words they could share.
They see the realities of today
The dreams of yesterdays
The future of tomorrows
And the pains and sorrows.
They are the time travelers of the mind
Their eyes are open - they are not blind.
So when you read what they write
It’s because of this time travelers insight.
So to my time traveling co-poets, this I must say
I am proud to have traveled this road with you
Into the minds of man, and writing
The stories that they all understand.
Years may come, and years may go
But of my love this much I know.
You can never find another love
The same as me, if you lived thru eternity.
My love was a seed which was implanted in me
And has grown bigger than the tallest tree.
Its roots are deep in the foundation
Whereas I feel every sensation.
I feel the tremors and I drink the waters of life
Which makes me stronger, every passing
Day and night.
And as a gardener who takes the petals
Off its flowers.
My love comes back stronger and
more beautiful to your sight.
For it shows my strength and might.
Look at the beauty of my love
And smell its aromatic fragrances.
Releasing all your feelings and
Which gets your senses reeling
“ feel your heart flutter”
for another love like mine
There will be no other.
This is the deep rooted love that
I have for you and
“what you do is up to you”.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
You are the beauty and I am the beholder.
Your every move makes me melt,
Your every word makes me fall in love all over again
I look in the mirror and see half of me,
With you I am a whole.
No force can be greater than our love,
No power in this world can tear us apart.
"i am afraid of a love like ours"
we have yet to fail
i have yet to falter
one more year
if i try
i can collect
enough to last forever
do not falter
i will not fail