Take a back seat and listen!
Feigned love, respect, consideration
Base characteristics
rendered false.
Commitment, dedication to other’s family
an empty wallet.
The promise of my own family
lost.
Not once, but twice
My innermost being
Gone.
I’ve been in the backseat for way too long.
I’ll even ride shotgun.
carve my body into
your wooden canoe
sail me
like a makeshift craft
into the center of
the storm
i want to chip and fall apart
to the crack of thunder
and your syrupy voice
peeling apart
my insides
tell my something I don't already know
like what is inside
the thousands of books
archived and lost
in the libraries
of your head
gut my organs
with your sharp
unforgiving words
like no matter how much
shit i smother onto my face
I will never be pretty
enough
No matter how much I
starve and throw up
I will never be good enough
and how my writing is too
mediocre.
and when I finally decide
that enough is enough
i'll realize it's never enough
it's never enough for you
taking portions of
my sanity
until there is insanity
holding my hand
with your acid
fingerprints
ghost recollections
of 1 year ago when
instead of you
it was him
and it was ok.
And instead of you it's me
it's always been me
devilish chants
over and over
trudging through thick
hot tar to arrive at
the finish line
but you
I
have bounded my ankles
to the start
I can never forgive you
(me)
for that.
I do so hope you're not as lost as I,
My young, beloved warrior.
Why that tear bedims your eye,
As you charge forth to your death
I hope you know what you're fighting for,
My passionate, silly lover boy
Why you chose to end your life before
Any of it had even started
I want to know why, naive, young man
You went and left me here alone,
To sit and wonder how I can
Bring you back to me
But every time you hear that name,
I see you burn with anger,
I see your heart burst into flame
With a passion I'll never understand
I don't know what it did to you,
That one inglorious monster,
Of the pain you feel I have no clue
Or of the terrors which came after
So come back to me once more my love,
Don't let it ruin all you care for
And I will help you rise above
The anger and the pain
A split second spent,
wide- eyed gazing upon your
somber shaded face
immersed in December white;
'T was then I lit the flame
Of wanderlust ardor.
A streak of love,
A burst of breathless delight,
Both trod the boulevard
In my palms.
The pavement shined like silver,
And a benevolent force so tender
Stopped my tears,
Stopped my soaring through nighttime madness.
Stay
When the night is over,
And my heart's flame of delight
Lay dreaming in pigments of
Periwinkle,
And my eyelashes in the midst of a dreary blackness
Express a yearn to caress
Your witty, amethyst heart.
Through a starlight's gaze,
Upon a mural bestowing beauty,
I close my eyes and
A piano song breaks the caramel swirl of sunlight,
And my somber tears are shed,
Because I know you are blind to see not
that when I am lost,
When the trees are bare of grey and byways are full of strangers,
I blink and you have found me,
Pretending your beauty is amongst my monstrosity.
When you are gone,
Gone without my wilted, acrylic wings,
Alone I walk a golden pavement,
Amongst the hibiscus sun of dawn,
Drowning in your laughter song,
wishing it was verity.
"I'm fire, suddenly turning to ice"
I was born of fire,
of a simple flame.
I save many worlds,
yet I take no blame.
It all dwindles away,
into my dark past.
What applause I do get,
it will never last.
I was born of ice,
frozen, cold, and blue.
I am a burden of frost,
a very bitter one, too.
A man of lost love.
A man of lost friends.
My companions die
as my life never ends.
I was born of rage,
war, cruelty, and hate.
That never really changes
once I regenerate.
In this war I face,
I'm a truly lost soldier.
But, you see, I won.
The Time War is over.
Once you have seen me
I will never be a blur.
For my true name is lost,
so just call me The Doctor
Life with the Ponds
There was a girl
that I knew for years
When young, she was strong
And had little fears.
When older, she engaged
to a man with such glory.
But she waited so long
to tell me of Rory.
Then we started, with time,
to bring him along.
And in less than a minute,
her Rory was gone.
He vanished from time
and Amy forgot.
While, as my curse,
I sadly did not.
But then with a bang,
the boy did return,
when he was desperately needed,
when life wouldn't burn.
A brave soldier he was
with little to no fears.
He sat there with Amy
for 2,000 years.
Then we saved the world.
Reset, it would be,
but, in return,
it would lose me.
On my way back
through the turning of time,
I took notice
of this cursed life of mine.
Soon through the flashback,
which showed little glory,
I stopped in my path
to tell Amy a story.
It brought me back
into the world.
In time for a wedding
of a boy and a girl.
I had a calling
from the groom's bride.
"Oh Doctor, my doctor,
you cannot hide
You're not imagined,
you are so real.
Come back through the crack
so that it can heal."
And soon I did
as the wind blew
I arrived in a tux,
and brought something blue.
After awhile,
we set off again
Me, happy as ever,
with my two best friends.
And, after that,
It didn't take long
til we went to war,
til they had River Song.
Her life was confusing,
and converged into mine
I didn't realize
she was a lady of time.
When young, she was stolen.
Being trained, was she.
All of that work
just to kill me.
She almost succeeded
but it wasn't too late.
She gave me her lives.
She'd never regenerate.
Later, we'd marry,
when I was to die.
That's what earth needed
to move forward in time.
But yet I survived
in a robot of me
"Oh, clever Doctor,
how could this be?"
I know it confuses,
but one must not know.
It could fill up your brain
so much it might blow.
Now, on with the story,
it's soon to end.
I do not like it,
but it's hard to pretend.
We found Dinosaurs, cowboys,
we held the power of three,
but then came the angels.
They took them from me.
My sweet little pond,
and one of her boys.
I was so broken.
I lost all my poise.
Before all of this,
we ran, and we ran
But now there's no running
"Goodbye, Raggedy Man.
All I know is some things can never be replaced
they've been misplaced
Left there to linger
Confusing and tying me up with a lace
A lace strengthened with time
So sour and bitter like lime
Trying to unlock the secret with my rime
But I've pasted so many signs
Found myself in nowhere waiting for nothing
Hoping for something
Have I lost control
Or have you stole my soul
Or is it resentment of getting hurt
Or is it defending my own avoiding the dirt
Can't see the reasons
I see through you
Why can't you see through me
I've listened deeper
Why can't you listen to me
Let me enlighten you
Indulge your senses
Guide you through my map
Put down the fences
Soak you up with loads of me
Then spin you in rinses
Am ties and twirls
So open your mind
And let me flow through
No I don't go with the flow
That might bother you
Been long since I've glimpsed the though of you
Got me wondering
am I hurt or have I never known the truth
I've forgotten am I hurt
Or am just too layered for anyone to dig through
One day i felt, that i've accepted the request,
request of sharing, caring and that i need to connect,
it's not just any connect, like that one on the internet,
it's a request of a big event, from the east to the west,
we're just like the stars in the skies,
some of us are beginning and some of us are dying,
ones are winning and the others are learning,
i'm just really really happy though,
i don't care about tomorrow,
that's how i live without any sorrow,
and i don't live under regrets,
the answer is not by smoking a cigarette,
we're stuck in repeating the alphabet, to be honest,
like a shooting rocket, lost in darkness, not promised,
most of us should stop being dishonest,
that we are the largest, generation of the artists,
we have been blessed,
i just wish we all will end up,
in a relationship like the one between me and my bed,
and if you get misunderstood,
don't be upset, just forget,
and deal with the new set,
you're the best version of yourself, yet,
just do a duet with the old and the new you,
you'll sweat, forget and maybe will even melt,
you need to accept, and suggest,
support yourself one hundred perfect,
respect, and stop being against,
and believe that you are best of the best,
just remind yourself you're imperfectly perfect,
and it's not a threat, you are a result,
of what and who you'll collect,
you are the target,
and the target is you,
If you look in the face of evil,
evil's gonna look right back at you!
- Layth Awwad
We spoke of many things
While Adventure Time blared in the background
And my heart throbbed
And my head filled with fear
If only I lived a little more with my heart
And a little less with my head
I might know that she’s mine, for sure
Mine.
Ha.
She’s not anyone’s girl. She won’t ever be, probably.
That’s why I like her.
Wild as wheat in an abandoned field under beating sun
And her hair was soft as a cushion
And I used her stomach as such.
Oh Lauren.
I can’t help myself.
That’s a lie. I can, slightly, but I don’t want to.
I don’t know if you’re sleeping or leaving or nodding (that’s unlikely - is it?)
You’re probably not gone
I’m probably just freaking out
At least I have art as a consolation
Even your sweat smells good
Lauren
Who I don’t know and I know too well already
I want to grab you and fuck you until we’re one
And have lost you to the world by spring.
I lost her very quickly
I didn’t have her
And I didn’t know her
No one will.
Well. Maybe.
I can’t know, can I?
