Crisp leaves blow against the adolescent boy’s faded jeans with every step,
Winter in utero.
Shriveled and blackened, an ailing man in his weakest state.
Execution via brutal stomp ensues
With recognition from the crunch of the leaves,
Upon the pavement.
He elects to gently kick some of them,
Allowing the frail existence to continue its turbulent course,
Until the next extremity ends its life.
A leaf’s only hope is to circumvent feet irate.
Tomorrow, the winds will increase.
To the boy’s left, a swarm of leaves will blow towards his pants.
To his right, a main road will be glanced at.
A black hearse,
In front of a pair of black sedans,
Will lead a following of 15 cars with rectangular, yellow stickers on the dashboard.
It will continue down the main road, passing through the boy’s right visual field.
The procession will no longer be in the boy’s view as it marches on.
Dreams haunt every aspect of my being
Dry my mouth becomes when I try to speak your name
Unfeeling to the blade that kisses my skin
Ugly oozes from the gashes on my arms
I'm a prisoner to the thoughts that rage inside my soul
Love is what I've felt for you but now it's gone
Death will show me the brightness of the stars
He will cherish me and make me grand in the world of the damned
Feelings will no longer matter where I'm going
I will no longer suffer
Nothing So Sensuous
Last night, I went back in time and met Alice Liddell in 1862.
Alice Pleasance Liddell, known for most of her adult life by her married name, Alice Hargreaves, inspired the children's classic Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, whose protagonist Alice is said to be named after her. See her, greet her, in my banner photo, and all will clear.
nothing so sensuous
as to watch a woman,
nay, a woman child,
brush her hair
in the mirror.
more than sensual,
all my senses
luxuriating in a gift that
her head titled,
from her chest as far back,
your eyes see waves
of chestnut in
the smile on her face
for the knowing that
all of you.
she languidly strokes
though it needs it not.
no, she brushes you
see her eyes,
in the mirror,
the woman's sensuality
every sense alerted,
you body fired,
she has you,
and then she asks...
would you brush my hair?
have you ever been in love?
have you ever had to tell someone
you no longer loved them
though you still did?
Oh yes, Oh may I?
yes, with you totally, at this very instant.
yes, for I
must leave you
and return to
my time, my age,
150 years from now
the only way
I can do that
is to lie to myself,
no, I do not love you
not that way,
for the agony of this
is such ecstasy,
that I can
only dare to
write of it,
in my time,
lest I fulfill
it in ours.
Also, must make reservation well in advance. Small time travel machine accommodates only 15 people....and currently the only "destination" is Victorian England.
That look on your face while you overhear conversation, normally you're not to far off with your assumptions of people. But every time you look at me, I know you're dead wrong. Its so obvious, multiple times a day I witness your eyes go wide when I catch you completely off guard. Maybe theres just certain types of people you don't believe in, that you don't know to exist. Sure its amusing to surprise people from time to time, but to constantly feel underestimated? You've got me further than arms length, and thats just fine. But you need to trust someone.
Ive seen eyes like that, full of so much that it looks like you could break at any moment. Countless hours of repressed emotion ready to be released. Just so you can start over collecting it all, bottling it up.
Don't think I haven't noticed the way your ears perk up, and the slight curve of your lips while listening to the chatter around you. To anyone not really watching, you're right there with the crowd, taking part. But with more than a glance I can clearly see the distance between you and them. So unattached. Do you ever really feel welcome?
You shy away from so much. I often wonder if the reason you wont accept anything is out of fear that it will disappear with the day. For someone with so much to offer, to give as little as possible. Most tend to radiate energy, but Ive seen few stay so contained like you do.
So much of yourself is hidden, locked away. I just hope that its not a habit caused by shame. Deny everything all you want, but I'm sticking around until I no longer see that look in your eyes. If I cant get you to trust me, then at least I'll be around so you can at least depend on me if you need to.
You will always follow me
Like melting canyon walls
Grown of glass
Forever folding inward
At my back.
In my mind;
Even when the rain clears up
You still stir
Your whitened waters.
Where heat still settles
In only the South
The sun stole every sip
Slurped up every drop
From every pore
In my thinned body.
You almost killed me.
I suppose-Even then-You tried
To save me
Hives across my body:
Holding aquifer pockets of your own blood.
You tried to warn me
With swollen, itchy
My fingers burned,
But I went to sleep.
Awakened with delusion
You kicked at the curve
Of my knee
With only pain running through my bedrock veins.
You left me,
With white running down my face.
You showed me how much mama loves me
Bent over my body
With her own salty piece of you
Falling in my face.
I could no longer hold you
No matter how much I longed to.
Mama took me to you.
Again, like glass on a November morning you sent ice through my blue and back to my heart.
Until you brought me conscious.
Twice mama had taken me to you
And on the first I'd fallen in love.
Hooked to an EKG
They pulled tubes of my blood from body
My eyes rolled back to when we met;
Weakened, I held only a blurred memory
Of three years ago
When you carried me over your muddied body,
Still with softened white ripples,
And warmed- no matter how far upstream- by July.
It was there
Touching the silk of your skin
With sun on my chest
And life at my back
That I promised
I'd loved you.
I leave my almost daydream.
In my double vision
I see eight
With four pairs of scrubs
One set black
Then Navy blue.
You sink back into my filtered memory
Holding tight subconsciously.
An IV now in my right arm
I ask what you are.
Moms hand comes off my back
I've stopped sweating
She leads-You led
My head back
I wait an hour
The shivers subside
Color comes comes back
My head falls to the right
I watch you drip
As I drift.
I awaken then
The objects in front of me now follow in suit with my eyes
Their image no longer drags behind them
The way things do with five drinks on a bar stool.
I look to momma
Beside me and at my foot.
I drop my head to the right again
To see your slow drip;
I never knew how much I needed you
In my mechanical bed
With my mama clutching my hand
And you clutching my arm.
It was then that I gave you my second promise;
I was going to save you too.
Please grasp me,
press me to your chest.
Hush my frenzied inhalations,
I can bear this pain no longer.
Dip your fore-finger,
across the roughed wake,
of my cheek.
Blot away the trauma.
Rest your chin
dangle its weight
my head -jeering-
clutches her temples.
It flickers, clarifies.
Back and forth,
Rocking, in fragmented, jerking
motions- her underweight
figure slammed along.
Blood purges with each
maddened- hoarse gurgles
the spittle deposits at
the overhang of her lip.
Snagged in the animosity,
of gnawing, writhing inhumanity.
TASTE IT rusted copper
An ashing purple, crusty
and running over engorged rims
of milky cocoa.
Darling, tip out your tongue,
lap up the shrivels
of failed organs and deprived marrow.
Pulse, with the steady
throb of an aching yawn.
Chilled moisture scoffs-
the nape of your neck.
Rocking back and forth,
Not good enough.
impales your upper thigh.
let him hear
Make it STOP
I met her mid-summer
at the grocery store
during our school break.
We sparked a friendship by the deli,
her jade-eyes were crystal-magic,
my heart quaked, knees weakened,
she had a smile that made me
forget about food and school.
Later we spun vinyl (she loved vinyl),
drank copious amounts of beer,
then kissed like rabbits
until the wee
hours of the morning.
Sometimes we’d last longer,
like until the sun came up.
It became a ritual with us
and with each time,
things seemed to get better,
Certainly we were not discreet,
but rather spontaneous,
we couldn’t get enough of each other.
All day long, I would fantacize in class
about her and all the things
we would do to each other later,
We practiced nightly
for the rest of the summer
and into the fall semester
when she graduated.
It was bittersweet when it ended,
but I guess all good things pass.
She moved out west,
I can’t recall,
I think it was somewhere in Arizona,
I lost track of her,
she never called.
Though we never kept in touch,
I have such fond memories
of our ceremonial evenings,
as it was truly the best time I ever had
in college not studying.
I’m so glad I met her.
And now looking back,
I know it was not about money,
When she was five none of the books she read included an underlying love story, why would one want them at that tender age? Magical rainbow fish fed her desires and the real love story was when her grandma held hands with her granddad whilst they were walking along the Seine. She whispered to her mum in hushed undertones: 'I think they're in love!'
By the age of ten she got tingles every time she sensed a ripple romance in the sub-plot, she would picture the characters together and wish, wish for them. She could feel her happiness bubbling over when they got together and found that happily ever after, never caring about what came after.
They probably got divorced.
At fourteen she honestly believed that love could solve all- and spent endless hours planning her first kiss, her first boyfriend, her first love. She watched everyone whisper, doe-eyed, through white, virgin lips, about The Taboo. And that scared her.
And then at sixteen she fell in love. With blades and drinks and smokes. After that, well, she didn't live much longer.
I hope you dont think
My lack of consistence makes me weak
Cause if I stink
Persistence has a smell and I fuckin' wreak
Stuck in my speach,
Cause "I dont give a fuck" is hard to teach
So each week,
that goes by the life inside,gets weak
So life I find,
sometimes is outta reach
But... Time passes,
the days get longer and longer
Lookin' for answers in a pile of ashes,
as the resistance gets stronger
It's time to unwind, but I end up crashin',
cause I wandered
Keep it sublime, let the clock move slow like molasses,
while I ponder
It was strange almost as strange as Thanksgiving with Justin Bieber at his grandmother's house.
Yes I'm sure that wasn't the only thing getting stuffed that year.
Who doesn't enjoy being serenaded by their grandson as he's naked with his pick in one hand and
his dick in the other as he stands butt ball naked in the kitchen.
Thanks Canada your like a dirty girlfriend who instead of giving a great blowjob gave us herpes What do I expect from a country that also gave us maple syrup and call me maybe.
I know we just met and this sounds crazy but your countries music sucks so never call us okay.
I was alone in the Pub as usual hell what do you expect from a site that has a showcase yet has no more groups from which half of the showcases are named after .
Yeah the owner has that true modern day logic like having a music channel that only shows
reality show whores and knocked up bitches who complain about paying the bills yet are employed by the network yeah common sense it really is lost on stupid people.
I was having like half of a case when a hamster who shall remain unnamed due to she would
harm me if I spoke the name of which is not to be spoken of walked through the door.
Gonz set me up with a cold one I really need it.
Really hamster I never pegged you as a necrophilia kind of gal but to each his own
good thing I got the paper let me just check the obituaries and make some calls hey I herd Paul Walkers free.
I know I'm going to hell but honestly did you expect good taste in reading this shit ?
Are you fucking nuts?
The agitated little hamster asked as she looked at me with anger and possible rape in her eye's.
Look I can always hope good thing I forgot my whistle.
Just give me a cold beer you pervert and that joke was tasteless really have you no respect for anything?
I looked at the hamster after handing her the beer and thought deeply and hard pulling my mental hair at the same time even though I don't have any don't ask.
It's my job to make tasteless jokes and be a pervert what you think the time clock on the walls for?
Um employees ?
Well yeah it used to be until they whole health care shit I swear I give my workers one meal a week and provide a perfectly good basement for them now I got to give them health care duh
if I paid my bills what would I drink with ?
My customer who remains anonymous to protect the safety of my balls.
Looked at me in disgust uh oh looks like I might be getting a spanking as well.
You really keep those poor people locked in the basement ?
Duh person I cant say your name there not real people there here illegally.
How can you say that I should call the cops on you .
The hamster was turning red and from the threat of calling in the fuzz I knew she must be
serious yet still I knew deep down she was just playing hard to get with her threats and restraining orders but enough with the foreplay hamsters.
Look I really don't see what the big deal is ?
You have people trapped in your basement like some dirt bag smuggler.
Now you hold on a minute hamster how dare you insult me I said in my grown up voice
I know I can act like a grown up shocking isn't it?
I was about to tell this hamster just what I really thought of people who take advantage of people
who just want a better life and exploit others and really preach some of that moral shit that sounds real good yet isn't what I think cause I'm truly a ruthless bastard.
When I stopped and saw the clock oh shit hold that thought I almost forgot to feed the basement people.
I reached under the bar and grabbed four cartons of cigarettes and a case of wine.
What in the hell you only give those poor people booze and cigarettes ?
Well duh there French what else would they want?
Just then a voice came up from the dungeon I mean basement of the pub gonzo more wine
you American swine I hate you yet still I applaud your efforts in destroying that vile
man child Selena Gomez .
Ahh you got love the French sure that strange little man may stay drunk on a girl drink and smoke like a chimney but even he hates shit pop music as much as me.
My one and only reader slash customer slash person I enjoy annoying sat in shock.
You are so fucked up .
I looked as I took my seat behind the bar that no longer exists because some people
who shouldn't be allowed out of there cage run the site into the like button ground.
Yes hamster I'm a little ruff around the edges but when you get to know me.
You realize behind all the insults and perverted bad humor .
I'm well I'm far worse than you could ever imagine.
We sat there swapping stories the drinks flowed the French man in the basement yelled
something in that strange language he spoke once I couldn't understand cause I
don't speak German.
It was a true night to remember except for the part I forgot duh!
It was growing closer and closer to closing time I mixed us both a good strong drink
yet with a soft side and heart of gold like a awesome hooker or that man tranny Kim Kardashian .
Well I guess better head out Gonz.
Aren't you feeling like your going to pass out .
Um no why ?
Dammit its really getting bad when you cant trust a good street dealer to quality
The hamster was headed out the door but before she left she turned and said.
Oh yeah and you might need to grab a pillow.
And then everything went black but not like in the NBA .
No indeed I was out like Charlie sheen after a really good coke binge when he used to be cool.
I awoke upon the floor alone cold and hurting in a area far more strange than fifty one
dammit man whya alien would travel across the galaxy only to corn hole rednecks and poetic madmen is beyond me but enough about what some owners of websites do in there off time.
Upon the bar sat the only cure for my troubles a double shot of good blended whiskey.
Next to it a note on a bar napkin .
Dear Gonz next time remember to remember which drink you spiked you dumbass .
I had to laugh and sit really funny the seat was a bit uncomfortable get your heads out of the gutter
children your almost as bad as me.
Until next time kids remember .
Good humor bad humor its just fucking a joke to begin with so lighten the fuck up.
Cheers and stay crazy.
And remember if it offends nobody forced you to read it to begin with.
Drinks on me cheers.