1) If you change every ten minutes, that is okay. You do not have to be the same person every day in order to be real. You also do not have to continue spending time with anyone just because you are used to them. If they are not good to you, you can leave at any moment.
2) Gender is a jail cell. You do not have to wear the shackles if you do not want to. Be yourself. Do not be a slave to stereotypes, roles & limits. What you have in your pants should not make you more or less of anything you want to be.
3) Love is free and you can take as much of it as you want. The amount of sex a person has does not make them inferior or superior. No one has the right to tell you that the way you are dressed is inappropriate. You can wear anything you want to. Society's fear of the human body is fucking nonsense.
4) Do not let anyone convince you that your feelings are not acceptable. Nothing you feel is a flaw. Depression is not a weakness. Happiness is not selfish. You do not have to be moved in the same way or have the same outlook as anyone else. You are not insane for having emotions and you should not have to hide them.
5) Be kind but stick up for yourself. You have a voice for a reason. You do not need to play dead when you are being hurt or feeling offended. Speak up. It is okay to dislike what is happening around you.
6) Addiction is painful and very real. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty or unworthy of help. Do not listen to anyone who says they do not feel sorry for you. Yes, you have the power to stop it but you still deserve support and sympathy whether you caused it or not. And not all addictions are chemical...
7) Your scars do not mean you are thirsty for attention. Self-harm is a real issue. Do not question your own feelings because of what anyone tells you your motives were. You know yourself better than anyone else. If you are willing to hurt yourself, something is very wrong. Get help. You deserve recovery.
8) Just because you are an artist does not mean you cannot fix your problems. Getting better will not make your work less powerful. Pain is not the only way to create beauty. Safety is more important and security can be gorgeous, too. You can be dynamic and okay inside at the same time. Plus, your memories will always be your's to talk about and look at even when happiness is reached.
9) You do not have to follow the structure and time line of life that has been mapped out for you since day one. You do not have to graduate high school. You do not have to go to college or be in the military. You do not have to get married. You do not have to have children. You do, however, have to do whatever it takes to survive and be happy. You should do whatever the fuck feels right to you.
10) You do not have to believe in a god or be part of a church to have faith. You can believe in yourself instead. The idea of karma should not be the deciding factor in all of your decisions. You should have the capacity to reason all on your own. You do not have to believe in your government or love your country. Seeing the flaws in the fabric does not mean you do not deserve to live here. The Earth is your's. It is man who draws the borders and makes the laws and you are just as significant and worthy as the people who are in charge. Act like it.
You're present when I hear this song.
As if the moment in time
and futures unknown
simply belong.
One hears the sound of water
that you hold so dear.
Washing away regret
and all that you fear.
Its rhythm flows
over worn thresholds,
to sand life's splinters
and to level down time.
Just as you ebb
from your story's past
to contain its pain,
you propel past rocks
and aspire to climb.
Its tempo is buoyant, upbeat, urgent.
As your gifts to others becomes
more evident
more replete
more fluent.
Its tone is carefree, deep and abundant.
Just as your voice reveals its
insights of eddy
depth
and your view shows its vibrance
onto its own.
The song takes its time to bring us through.
As you savor today's moments
seek it significance
in everything
you do.
C. . .
I hope you
like this song,
this poem,
Oh, I hope I got it right.
I felt your presence,
heard this song,
wrote this poem,
just tonight.
Isn't it crazy how things just change in a flash?
Kinda like when you wake up in a hospital,
finding out you were hit by a drunk driver in a car crash.
You begin to break down, little by litte.
You start to question things,
feeling like you don't know who you are,
going through random flings,
wondering how the fuck did everything get so bizarre.
But then life picks up and you begin to look up,
finding yourself and loving yourself over the negatives.
excited that everything is going right side up,
like you're life is suddenly a prerogative.
That is what makes healing so appealing.
Feeling yourself grow stronger.
Standing up tall, no longer kneeling.
That is what makes you live longer.
“you must know you’re beautiful”
somedays, yes. somedays, no.
the twelve year old me will haunt me most mornings,
placing nonsense like a flower wreath through my hair.
she’ll pick my stomach, stretching the skin like putty.
she’ll still her tongue out, gnawing at my bones.
i will hear the dark words, and they will stain upon my skin,
coal and smeared.
the fifteen year old me will creep in the afternoon,
smudging ink eyeliner, telling me there’s never a thing as toomuch.
she will sing into my pores, telling me i need to return to pale tiles
and empty hallways.
she will hide under my skin, waiting until the men and scary ideas return
to the base of my mouth.
my insides are pretty, beautiful (most of the time)
so give me more time, to work on the outside.
it has been long, i know.
but i need more.
more.
Your lips taste like formality
Like someone who has
Licked shut a few too many envelopes
Is it I to whom you've written letters?
Dipped into your heart with sharpened pen
And curled red ribbon lines
Across my skin?
Your lips taste like formality
Like someone who has
Licked shut his own heart
And let his blood run dry
Scab inside him, black and beady
Shrivel up and die
Is it I who rusted your love, tin man?
Screwed your lips into perpetual silence and abandoned you inside yourself?
I promise your lips will taste of oil someday.
Like someone who has
Licked the universe open
Unhinged their jaw
And let the right one in (not me) at last
From those celestial dawn to dusk;
And from that mid-night till mid-day;
She worked hard; not only for
her daily bread, but also for others too,
who lived in and around her small hut;
situated near the meadow hills.
From those beautiful dusk to dawn
and from that mid-day till mid-night;
She baked her bread for others too;
Her daily kindness; good deeds,
counted a lot in my life;
And all that occurred in my life
is the result of her deeds.
Her every action creates a new thought,
with in me and my life.
I was emotional; passionate to her;
In the long run,this is in turn
created an affection; liking
between us within her and me;
sweet talks; bitter love in her mind.
This leaves a subtle imprint on me;
It has the potential to ripen
my future happiness or for future sufferings,
depending on whether her actions
were positives or negatives.
She opened a gorgeous shelter,
for me to sleep and to dream at night;
It has neither any doors nor walls;
At dawn, she led me out towards the hill
Nature has no windows, no any exits at all;
like her; She has neither any doors to her heart;
nor any windows to her spicy body;
She was the loveliest among others;
And She knew how to pay back the love;
Unveiling the secrets of me and to win
over the dirt within me ; but there was
no room in her womb to conceive;
to carry a baby of mine;
But still, I nurture her; love her !
BY
WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
williamsji@yahoo.com
www.williamsji.com
www.shanthinagar.com
WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
Friday
Missing a dear friend
She passed away this evening
May she rest in peace
Saturday
This day feels so odd
Not like normal Saturdays
My heart is breaking
Sunday
Time moves so swiftly
All the time spent growing up
Where has it all gone?
Days 4-6 of my A Poem A Day project. Written 5/17 - 5/19/2013.
I know I make too big of a deal
out of things.
I treat 'em like their huge,
and really thy're not,
but I can't help it.
that's just what i do.
by Jonathan D Maraccini
When I was young I had a dream
It was the day I turned 14
I was a king who married a queen underneath a beautiful cedar tree
In this dream we had a beautiful baby then we lived happily ever after
What a perfect ending, everything was perfect it seemed
Then tragedy struck without warning
In this dream
I lost my home, my wife, my child
In this dream
I lost my wonderful family
With tears of sorrow underneath the cedar tree I screamed
Then I fell to the ground and said some horrible things in the darkness
But it was all just a dream I remind you
At least that is what I was told that night
The day I turned 14
They say
Dreams are not real in the world we live in
They say
Angels are fiction outside of religion
They say
A sinner is condemned unless forgiven
I say
Dream of angels who forgive our sins
I am not a little boy any longer
I grew up and became a man
Then I met a beautiful women
How she made me happy then
So we married and had a daughter
The happiest day of my life
Was the day I became a father
A bond had formed as I watched her eyes
I held her close to keep her warm
I knew I would never leave her
Life was a perfect delight
Or so I thought, or so I thought
In the end
We leave our mark
In the end someones the victim
A fool from the very start
Like lambs for the slaughter
As the truth is hidden
They say
Dreams are not real in the world we live in
They say
Angels are fiction outside of religion
They say
A sinner is condemned unless forgiven
I say
Dream of angels who forgive our sins
Sitting on a bench in a redwood forest
I heard a bird sing a glorious song
This was not my imagination
So I began to sing along
Next to me a girl with black hair
We laughed together
We walked together
Love of the forest we both shared
Her eyes were black, her hair was long
Such a spectacle
Nothing on earth could ever go wrong
Or so I hoped, or so I hoped
Knock on wood
For I was blind
Evil was there the entire time
Sitting underneath a cedar tree
Whistling a haunting song
They say
Dreams are not real in the world we live in
They say
Angels are fiction outside of religion
They say
A sinner is condemned unless forgiven
I say
Dream of angels who forgive our sins
Eventually she left me
It was Christmas Eve
She took my daughter
She took the angel from me
She ran away
She spread her wings of deceit
She lied to everybody
But first she lied to me
Maybe she was the one whistling
Underneath the cedar tree
Underneath the cedar tree
Where evil withered the leaves
So now I hate her
The destroyer of beautiful dreams
The filthy liar
The wrecker of families
As I wither away behind her
I’m left with only my words
With the cedar tree on fire
I quench my angry thirst
And my pain becomes a curse
I do not care who see's these words
My anger festers for all
Two faced liars in a family herd
So stand in line as I fall
It is what it is
When it is understood
It is all it has been
For the bad and the good
As I hang on this cross
As I hang underneath the cedar tree
Crucified to this wood
© JDMaraccini
VAPORSiX CREATiONS
Five sweet memories,
before I can unwind my thoughts,
before I can calm the world,
And justify my afflictions,
The bullet that heals the wound,
Overly aware of my spine twisting on the crooked mattress,
I count
Five. We’re sitting on the bench in his backyard.
I’m too nervous to move.
His words are rushing together in my mind,
but I nod gently anyway.
Gazing at the night sky as he unwinds his past to me.
He laughs, I laugh.
He lays his head on my shoulder,
letting his soft hair press against my neck.
I try to stop time,
Like a philosopher aching to solve the mysteries of human misery,
I have found pure truth and beauty,
but to no avail, time is a burdenous bitch
Four.
We are hiking in the desert.
We climb rock after rock, yet my joints feel nothing.
He points out the best footing for me, and despite being an avid hiker,
I follow along, pretending to be grateful for his instructions.
At the top of the cliff, we sit on smooth stones.
Lightning strikes in a far off storm. We ooh and ahh at each blast.
Flash
Darkness
Flash. A glimpse of his eyes
Darkness.
Flash. His lips
I turn towards him and he turns to me. Our eyes light with each strike, but the stare holds.
And despite the flashes, we are cast in the darkness of our locked eyelids
Our locked lips
The lightning mixes with city lights and all is bright for a split-second
The numbness wears off, letting us realize the desert has become frigid.
We race down the mountain, returning to our normal selves.
Three. He hands me an old putter.
I laugh. He can’t be serious.
He pulls out another and begins stuffing golf balls into his pockets.
Shh, he whispers.
He grabs my hand and leads me behind the house.
We climb the fence and land ourselves on the 6th hole.
He pulls me onto the green and drops two balls.
Ladies first, he chides.
Little does he know, I’ve taken many golf lessons
I win the first round.
And the second.
He wins the third.
Two out of three, I declare.
He mumbles, what do you want?
I press my cheek to his, wrapping my arms around his waist.
Inhale, exhale.
Our lips touch.
Two.
It’s six o’clock on a Tuesday night.
I am tired from work, putting the finishing touches on my homemade pizza.
As I slide it into the oven, I hear the doorbell ring.
My brother calls my name.
I try to pace myself to the door, but I feel as if I’m doing a full out sprint.
I open the door.
Orange roses hide his face, and I am the happiest girl in the world.
One. The night is bittersweet.
We spoon on the couch, holding each other as tight as possible.
His soft stomach in the small of my back
I listen to his chest, trying to memorize the pattern.
I try to take in the small details.
But no, time has never been my friend, and soon we are standing by my car as I try not to cry.
He places his arms around me and pulls me in closer.
I know I should go.
I know this might make it worse, he stutters, but I love you.
And I love him.
And it’s over.
Once again,
I am trying to fall asleep in a hot, cramped room,
knowing that for every thought I think of him,
I am 1,000 thoughts further from his mind.
