Go ahead.
Put the poison in your veins.
Not like you use them for much else.
Instant gratification found in the bottom of this fernet and weller.
Shiver like you mean it.
Shiver like you aren't faking it.
As the cold air blows out.
At least you're happier when you're shit canned.
Make your exit.
Running from your failing liver.
"Oh you're such a lush and it kills me to watch you kill you."
A disillusioned fool as soon as that rocks glass turns over.
You know you should stop.
But the shakes catch up if you do.
Poison yourself some more.
The only thing you are hiding from.
You.
I need help.
I don't want it.
The words keep
pouring out of my
mouth and flowing
so carelessly
from the tip of
the pen
and my deepest
thoughts
fabricated in
blackened ink
and I'm sorry
for it feels like my mind
could explode
soon
It's like
totally okay
if you don't like me back
because I don't
think I would be too
fond of myself
either
but you were
the best that I
ever had
even if it was
just that one night
of intoxicated
bliss
together
I wouldn't
change anything
about that drunken
Saturday night together
except
well
y'know
maybe we would have kissed a little more
I forfeit the bet
I tried my best
But your body's still worthless
Watch my ego drown
I've fallen for a clown
I can't find the way outta this town
I smiled once
But no one remembers.
There was a time before this
A time we stood perfectly still
The bear smelling the air
And we prayed to god
To leave like lovers.
Empathy is a disease.
It's a mirror that you always look into.
It is the situation that you are inherently bound to.
Empathy is asking for spare change on the corner of a street.
Empathy keeps you dedicated
Like a nun in it for the pearly gates.
It stamps a scar on your heart that can turn to hate.
Empathy is the cheapest coffin in the whole place.
Empathy encourages that charitable sorrow
That plagues the psyche with a bittersweet notion
Of unbearable understanding and sympathy.
Empathy is all alone, drinking wine and watching WWIII on the t. v.
Where do you go
when I look at you?
Feels like floatin through space
suffocating on life’s
little
hang-ups—
Like a starvin' artist
tryin to paint portraits on the metro.
Like a hero who’s
forgotten courage sticking their head in a lion’s mouth oh
When your mind is turnin'
your eyes seem to scream your heart is hurtin' for something more.
At least that’s what it seems to me
as I wonder
Where do you go
when I look at you?
Feels like floatin’ through space
suffocating on life’s
little
hang-ups—
Like when you try explainin' to me
that are but we aren’t and we gotta wait and see.
Like when we’re sittin’ at the shihsa bar
and you look at me despite not knowing what we are…
But when your mind is turnin’
I’m intent on learnin’ how to understand
until one day you looked at me and said
Where do you go
when I look at you?
Feels like floatin’ through space
suffocating on life’s
little
hang-ups
Keep it in the moment bang-a-rang with your fist up
in the air let it be let be let it be in the air
like Rumi said love calls everywhere and
always
always
always!
Love calls everywhere and always!
Sometimes I feel
That people are like messages
In a bottle
We choose to bottle it up
As we go though the rough tides
It gets protected
But
The hard glass
Creates a barrier
Against the reader
And
Us
It's difficult to pry open
The message in
The bottle
But all messages
Secretly long to be read
Some get lost in the saltiness
Of the sea
And some are lucky
Enough
To find someone
Interested in hearing
Their message
So they try
Their very best
To break that glass
And read
It
Understand
Their worries.
Hear their message
The message in the bottle
Is not alone
It wants to be read
But
It can't say a thing
Trapped In its little glass shell
Its mysteries just waiting
To be uncovered.
Alone. Closing my eyes. Voices echoe around me. Sitting and waiting for fate. Falling over myself. It's too late for anything. Cold grey skies and dark faces. I tried and failed. I see your face everyday.And I wander. If this faceless figure infront of me. Is restricted and falling, into the darkest clouds. Dry. throat, empty rib cages. Bones rattling inside the pumping heart. Held in my hand. This fucking failure will never change.
This is closure, and hidden identity. Falling apart at the seams. Wanting to be part of the bar that screams. Then waking up, not being there, in that crowd, with the loud microphone
That was handed to me. I left and ran away . Cold and bitter,. Left in the sea ,with an ex friend.And a fucking broken bone. Sharks attacked my feet, and i swam to shore, the darkness across the gold beach destroyed all meaning. Locked up in cages, broken bars and held. In those empty hospitals, where, there is a bed for a patient, In a ward, where there is bleeding, Internally or externally, coffee that tastes grit, I would die in the arms of myself, Embrace my loneliness
Force a smile ,And dive in the ocean,Live a lie, just like I just feel
Just like they tell you, in the nights darkest, cold, alone
Afraid, I would die in the midst of the concrete slowing car, Forest embers, glowing in the darkest shadows, Cars and broken faces, In this town, where nothing changes,Familiar old faces, wishing they didn't exist, Wanting to escape, and this is all that's left. Cars and broken faces, empty train rides
Solitude which leaves the magnititude of the desolation in tangles. Broken in the spiral of hope which grips my insecurities, being and believing the epitome of lies when entangled in selfish views
broken in the cages of time itself, wishing to escape
I was alone when I was growing up as a kid,
With only you being by my side always,
Even when my parents were away.
I was alone when I grew up a teenager,
You were still there right behind me,
Just like a personal bodyguard.
I am still alone when I am at 21,
Still with me you stand mostly,
Clung to me as my pet.
I will be alone when I get old,
Will only you be by my side,
Even when I finally die?
Because you were, you are & you will be,
As long as the sun shines smartly in the sky,
You'd follow me as a permanent companion.
I won't matter wherever I might be,
You're natural and independent.
It won't matter whoever it might be,
You're real and permanent.
If I deserve your company then let it be,
You're my shadow only.
You always were,
You always are,
You always will be.
If you found this worth re-reading, visit my blog http://mysongpoemlyrics.blogspot.in/ for more of my poems. Thanks. :-)
© Atul Kaushal
Baby, free me from the
terror of waking up and finding
Not you near me again
and the denial of your existence
Is choking and suffocating me because
I simply can't say no
to a thought that drives me thinking
Of you, again and again,
what a hopeless dreamer I am,
I know you'll never keep in your
heart someone like me,
but baby, free me.
