Pretty gates over our head, the first time my eyes
made you hard, had no hands for an umbrella because one carried
plastic-bagged groceries the other held down my dress,
an aura dark as pubic hair,
pain so comfortable in your waist I felt like I fell off a train too,
I saw you squirm and get all glassy, all I could think about was how
sad it is that most people stop reading after middle school
else we may have known if a hospital was necessary,
else I may have known the way to get there
without getting a bump on my forehead, white picket fence
in the sky bruising my high
when I first realized I loved you so much I needed to fix you always.
Dont Make me laugh why was my sister and me brought up
On so much domestic violence both got raped
Forced in to silence
No confessions on tape
Batterling demons with
No escaping this lions
Den hearing your
Words but you lied like
The rest of them complications in our
Family home learned
To stand alone burned
From the sceans these
Eyes were shown
Seeds but no water to
Help us grow no all I wish is I was buried so
Far below in a hole which caved in to make
Me pay for every sin
I made for this f..ked up
Life you gave my young heart crushed nothing left to save the pains ingraved im to weak trying to act brave
Death is all I seek from the cradle to the grave
Inslave my self to a being
That im only seein
In these nightmares we share f..k your pitty cos
Im a man who rarely cares barely able to stay stable on my own two
Feet traumatised victimised please let these visions die in peace hell bound on
So take another piece
..... Of my life heart love
Affection it doesnt matter any more
Theres nothing you cant
Do to me thats already
Been done ......
Like my shadow you haunt me,
following me wherever I go,
a dark evil image that cannot be erased.
Leave and never return,
for your empty thoughts bruise and batter,
leaving scars that do not wipe away as easy as do my tears.
Old, adorable little houses,
girls dressed up in chiffon blouses,
all the songs we used to sing out loud at night.
It could of been the way you looked at me,
or the fact that we're made perfectly.
When I'm with you, everything's alright.
Long, wasted rides in subway cars.
Looking up in Brooklyn to see the stars.
Hand in hand, we made up our own team.
It could of been the alcohol,
or the way you tell stories you already told...
but something got a hold of me.
Wine boxes & bottles stacked in the room.
Papers and books of things we need to do,
all the clothes I stole from your closet.
It could of been the sunshine that day,
but I think it's you who made the clouds go away,
and I'm so happy I have you to call my best.
We took cabs to unfamiliar places.
Kissed boys with hot, and not so hot faces.
By your side is where I want to stay.
It could of been the smoke in the air,
or the way we dance and forget to care
but some how we always found our way.
Tripping & stumbling into the room.
Smelling like candy & juicy perfume.
Some how, people always notice us.
It might be the way we laugh out loud,
or the way your smile stands out in a crowd.
This is forever, that you can trust.
Other people's stoops where we took refuge,
doing all the things we were told not to.
We danced in the rain and laughed so hard it hurt.
It could be the wine, the booze of the beer,
but when they ask me my answer is clear
I say; "I like me better when I'm with her."
Gertrude, Stradbrook, River and Roslyn,
off of McMillan, my thoughts froze on Osborne
A drive through the Village on slippery streets
Bought records, drained pints
swallowed down summer nights
Back home in Wyoming--think I'll be fine
'til some night, filled to gills
trip through streets with a stranger
and sing "One Great City"
through swollen closed throat
And I remember...
Confusion Corner, commuting through cold streets
Watched you drive as the daylight died
I narrow my Focus,
you eased into traffic
The Assiniboine ran and was watched by Riel
Took Yellow Dogs for long walks
and Exchanged now for then. Snapped pictures, again and again.
Snow up to my hips
Spent a night at St. Boniface
We cased a cathedral, your friends seemed to like me.
Lines ran from reserves, over oceans and borders.
Your hair ran down shoulders, brown waves for a blanket.
Portage & Main
at a Tavern Uniting with friends,
'til we took the King's Head...
We took the King's Head.
Long live the king.
Curry soup, curried thoughts thawing,
melting, falling from pickled brains,
through lips chapping
Form a Perimeter
Frame a city
Bullseye, center, a Gold gilded Boy
he leans into sky, as they sing, as I hear.
The road North Ended--November, it was.
I think, one year prior, in Robin's Donuts
on hinges that sighed metallic,
I caught your eyes--organic, unplanned--
through fog frosting lenses
Caught them, held on
Held your deep brown
In my gunmetal blue
Seasons will chase--haste to follow more seasons
White streaks to green
and the Red River runs.
When they score at the ballpark,
"Go Goldeyes!" the cheer sounds
The Guess Who still suck,
but the Jets completed their round trip
"Go, Jets, go!" so the cheer goes.
"Cheers!" Cheers like bells.
Peeling like your sunburnt back
Bells singing long
Bells sounding loudly from Grace Bible Church
baptizing Baltimore as it kisses Osborne
Bells ringing. Round sounds.
Round rings for fingertips touching
Round sounds that hang on my neck
and sing me to sleep every night--
remind me how badly you wanted those bells
I denied you.
They sing "Left and Leaving"
and show me old scars
they ring and peal and strike
I remember April of 2008
Dropping my toque in the mud-and-slush street
We took Pembina Highway
Commuting through cold streets,
Watching you drive as the daylight died
In your blue '02 Focus
Ease us back into traffic,
The Assiniboine River.
And Louis Riel.
So tell me...
Comment-allez vous, ce soir?
Je ne suis pas comme ci, comme ça.
The Hungry Secularist is a poem from my e-book of 79 pages, Don't Swallow The Toothpaste. You can purchase the book at whatever price you would like to pay by clicking the link or copy and paste that is provided at the bottom of the page!
I put on my boots
before realizing another holiday
snuck up on me.
Walked into the bedroom
and called two major grocery stores.
I looked at what fruit was
on the shelf.
There were a couple apples,
and one tomato.
Not enough to get me through this
Easter Sunday and work tomorrow.
I went online to a map search,
typed "grocery", and found a little market 3 blocks away.
As I approached
there was an old neon soda
sign broken in half,
but I was optimistic
I entered the market
and grabbed a basket
circling the store a couple of times
before asking the young man
if they had bananas and tangerines.
He asked what I was going to use
I said, "I'm sorry?"
"What are you going
to use them for?"
Yes - he said
I replied, "To eat."
He led me over to the cooler,
"You know what's good? Take a lime and cut it into wedges
and roll it in sugar."
I didn't have sugar at home due to just moving in,
and if I did,
the thought of eating a lime in
any manner makes my asshole pucker.
It's probably something he saw
on an MTV Spring Break episode.
He told me when the bananas
ripened they were gone.
I usually reserve one day a week
to eat anything. I grabbed a can of
mustard sardines, clam chowder soup,
then a couple of things that weren't as fattening.
I forgot to look for canned fruit.
I'm on my 3rd cup of coffee and
making a lot of runs to the bathroom.
The wooden floor squeaks in the
hallway as I try to find the tight spots to step,
so I don't wake a roommate.
For whatever reason
my sinuses are flared
and my throat sore.
We've had 5" of snow the last
and the wind chill on this
23rd of March is 26*.
is winding its way
to the Sweet 16.
I remember the fever
in Carolina this time of year.
Between and after games
we would sometimes meet up
to shoot hoops.
In Minnesota on days like this
I just work to dodge the yellow
spots from where the neighbors
walked their dogs.
March 23, 2008
All Rights Reserved
Paypal also accepts credit cards, and you do not need to be a Paypal member! I will email you the e-book in .Pdf form once payment is completed.
These lies sound so nice
Fluffed like pillows
They have a ring to them
Tied like ribbons
A broken record whispers
The one final truth
The last honest counsel
Don't tie them too tight
Don't tie them too tight
They're light off the tongue
Don't tie them too tight
Loosen your grip,
Or holdfast to your pillow
When the ribbon snaps
Like a neck in a noose
when i'm alone (and lonely) i usually think about you
what it would feel like to kiss you
to hug you
to hold your hand
what you would do if i told you how much i wanted these things
if you could be totally honest with me
it's not like you'd have to worry about breaking my heart,
you already have
Floating across a river of blood
in a pool of massacred dreams,
ripples of hope.
The water runs red because of the plague,
to remind of the good and warn of the bad.
of the ways we've been behaving.
I wanted to take a dip in that forbidden stream
before all this happened.
To watch it run clear and catch flickers
of light across it's ebbs and flows,
like someone had sprinkled glitter into it.
I wanted the beauty,
even though I didn't know how to swim.
Never had I been within something so
natural and crisp.
I was willing to drown if it could wash over me,
and make me feel as connected as it seemed
to everything around it.
How could this be considered erroneous?
It seemed peaceful...
Until lives were slaugtered on its banks.
Others who felt the same,
our kindered hearts,
we wept into the deep opaque water.
Water none of us knew existed until we saw it.
This same small creek,
that I had never been emerged in,
was now a scarlet current infused with tears.
Ripples from the sobbing rain are what remind us,
that it is an ever moving entity,
with a mind and a song,
and will filter itself someday,
with a slow, harmonious bubbling of purification.
I can wait, and let time heal my subtle rejection,
because now I know what I want.
I want to swim in this elixir of life.
What is she and where did she come from?
She's an extraordinary terrestrial.
A girl from out of my space
but belongs so natural.
The stars in that beautiful night sky
Why are they so familiar?
Why is it when I see here eyes
That Gemini is still there?
I want to be part of her astronomy
Study my heart racing at comet speed
To her love that's worth a fortune like astrology
I've discovered a celestial body.