I'm trying
Emphasis on "I'm"
Where are you now?
Have you left me behind?
I'm giving all of me
To clean this mess
But while I was answering problems
Did you give up the test?
.
.
.
I'm not ready yet
Not ready to lose
The best friends I've ever had
I'm not ready yet
I'm not ready to let go
To see our time come to an end
...
Will you wait for me?
I won't insist you put in effort
Just...wait by the door?
And when I've solved these questions
What we have will be restored
.
.
.
Maybe.
I'm not quite sure anymore
I don't know who you are
But it's not time to fight that war
I've got to make sure we're okay
Before we relearn what we were
We both changed
Whilst the other's back was turned
So don't leave yet
I'm trying
No
We're trying
To fix this grand old mess
And you can bet ever cent you own
I will not leave us like this.
She was the girl that hated being called cute
Because she felt cute
Was a word that should be reserved to describe puppies.
She was the girl that used her daddy issues
As an excuse to cling on
Too tightly to the ones she loved.
She was the girl that could be read
Like a book.
Wearing her emotional spectrum
Right between her eyebrows
That were overdue
For a waxing.
She was the girl that wore lipstick
Instead of gloss.
Any shade of red or pink would do.
She was the girl that tried too hard
To please everyone
And forgot herself.
She was quite the girl.
She was.
Some Monsters are
Just that–
Truly monstrous things
jaws dripping…
skin stretched cellophane wings
The smooth curve of
claw hiding violence
huddled in doorways
blood streaked…malevolent.
When at last the time
is right…
frail framed, unsuspecting
in the light
wandering, broken injured
thing like a child,
seduced by silence
never saw a
smooth curve unbent.
You arrived at a time when the times were a-changin'
Tangled up in blue, blowing in the wind
A simple twist of fate when the world needed saving
One more cup of coffee and your at it again
Like a slow train coming
Under the red sky
Holding back the wicked messenger
With God on our side
You gave us shelter from the storm
When life gave us buckets of rain
To this day you continue to warn
We're still only a pawn in their game
Hope to never say goodbye
On a night like this
May you stay Bob, forever young
These lines are all titles to some of my favorite Dylan songs...
Taking liberty with some to help them fit...
There are just so many snowflakes falling from the sky each year,
That you and me, she and he, even your pets could lend their names to the snowflakes,
And not worry about them being duplicates of each other,
Because just like all human beings have different physical characteristics,
Each snowflake is amazingly uniquely structured,
You would run out of names of human beings in all languages,
Numbering each snowflake is a better option,
Mother nature has also made each person so unique,
Why care about the names and origins,
When everyone could have a unique snowflake!
©Atul Kaushal
If you see the wonder of a fairytale
the midnight trysts of the snail
the laughter of the whale
the hammer being hit by the nail
The elephant afraid of the mouse
the cuckoo burgling a house
the old woman who lived in a shoe
the ghost who couldn’t say boo
The giraffe who hated the smell of his feet
the hyena who’s laughter was like a drum beat
the ant-eater who didn’t eat ants
the day Donald Duck forgot his pants
These thoughts made me giggle
I hope it gave a funny bone a tickle
So last night
I whispered all of your dreams unprompted
I saw your jaw drop but I tried to conspicuously not pay attention;
I just liberated you from from a bar of twenty men all drooling
I fend them off and kept two of you entertained with only one of me
and the dreams of my dreamy elusive brother coworker or friend
I paid a lot of attention to the needs and dreams of your friend
But if I'm honest
even though I was making sure she was safe
cause that's what i do
I was looking at you and dreaming
I was staring straight into your eyes
looking straight into your soul
I don't have much of almost anything
but I can look deep down and see true
most people really don't believe it
and i don't blame them, why would you?
But there was a moment there
talking at the bar
when you were looking at me
like you loved me
more than anything
that had ever come or gone
and it was the briefest of moments
but i fucking swear i saw it
and it made me love you
with you dirty blond hair
and all of your compassionate let's just take care of my friend care
I mean, yes
Like i heard you
you have a boyfriend
you say it like it's means something
to someone like me
who's only ever always confronted with adversity
I have a back burner
for you
and all of your friends
and it's not like
im saying anything
it's honestly
a little bit
of everything
but mostly
and surprisingly so
a lack of interest
in anything intelligent or courageous
it's like the human race took 5
and was all over it
so yeah
can't ever really quite describe
what im looking for
what lights up the fire
what stokes the soul
behind my eyes
cause i'm a believer
and i believe most true
and i think im feeling something
maybe i love you
...I remember who talked to me all night about everything
about significant things great and small
tiny odd reccolecctions
everything her things my things your things all things fuck pretty much everything
That I answered or said without saying as things that are true
I might have lied
Because you started talking like my dreams...
I covered every base what the fuck do you want me to do?
You were so fucking cool
I think I met your friend
Only to meet you
or your boyfriend...
fuck i seriously hope that one ain't true but like I'm a buhhdist now and can't say
It's like you have never met a man who see's the future
A gingerbread man baked and burned in the oven for fun
Who got tortured for years into a smile that we all love
It's like we all take things so seriously instead of laughing and drinking
and hearing the endearing lunacy of our friends
fuck if we just took a minute to wait and pretend to understand all of that darkness we let lurk in
it would be like a circus show of light delivering all of us from the three ring thing of everything
that is bad
our own macabre circus of rejection, judgement, and humiliation for all of our kind. So when you are done with your boyfriend, fiance, husband, i know not yet; talk to me first before every voyage and adventure set in opposition just for the fuck of it.
but what you can't count on
is that i'm so much older and I've been around
I don't think you might know what it is like
to double down
over years and years
it's like you get a discount
on the odds
for multiples of five years
cause who really lasts that long?
maybe me
Maybe you.
but who knows
cause life is like a lotto taro hurricane
no sense to distribute the sad recompense
let's just fucking spend it before we pay
on all the debts we just made
and all of the futures that greyed out just fadet(ed)
that's the point of grey vistas
all the deals and the souls we just promised in casual relation to make it
We try to pretend
we're all samurai
noble sacrafice to budo
it's cool that i alone must die
but i think we all smell some bullshit
in the way and the feel of this philosophy
that tells us to fight it instead of accept it
so let's beware those wayward philosophies
that perhaps might be misguided
telling us that nothing matters
now
or anytime
as opposed to those that tell us
to simply love
all of those that surround us
And I saw her put her name into facebook on my phone
but when it was all said and done and i unlocked it all
it was gone
If i hadn't been dealing with this for almost twenty years; i think i'd cry like a little girl.
You find a new way to make it socially acceptable
What you're doing to me..
So that you we just see it as how it is..
so let me make it easy..
Let me just bend over for you world...
Just like my blood before
Because you keep forcing yourself upon me..
Fucking me...Fucking me....
so rough like hardcore brazzers...
Like a flick on Punishtube...
With no lube...
thank you money for hold me down..
while you watch big brother
have his way...
maybe if I was a woman I could reproduce..
But My dick just goes lump so fast...
while life repeatedly fucks me in the ass...
it is not encouraging
to hit rock bottom
the only place to go
is not “up”
because I have been
underground before
we count our minutes in 60’s
our currency in 100’s
I am counted in pastel pink
and a sunlit core
you are counted in cold steel
and thieving hands
I feel like I’m going to explode
pretty much constantly
3:00 am returned with each rotation of the clock
insomnia far more loyal
then I ever was.
Bed sheets untangled
solitude appeared by the foot of my bed
replacing you with darkness haunting
faint echo of words ignored
trapped on lips
clinging to eye lids
never with a chance to cry
between me and the darkness
that merged in a perfect ratio.
And I'm wise enough to know that whoever said
time heals all wounds
must have been ignorant to the dagger of a love
I couldn't quite return.
And I saw you waiting with flowers
on my front porch every Friday
but my fingers grew restless of accepting the gift
as guilt pounded against my chest.
so I planted my own garden
but each flower still reminded me
of you.
And I'm sorry I'm not any good at making up my mind
or telling the truth
or loving the right people
at the right times
but close your eyes dear
I, like the sleepless nights
will eventually fade.
