Sleep deprived
Deranged just a little touch/just a little
Tip
Crack your
Knuckles work your bones
All around this town is shaking
Shiver/moan
All the ways we get horizontal
We get down, always a little off
Always a half-second early, drop
Let it all fall off
Devolve your way to the light, we're so god damned enlightened here
Stagger on my wayward friend
We get weird but
It ain't so strange
Tie your hair up in tangles like you've been had on the ground
Alley dirt on your ass
Dance your way to the front
Alternate between confident and terrified/cigarettes naked fall
Asleep alone
On some weird couch
While your best friend
Fucks your ex in another house
Forgivable, forgivable
Can't be mad at the poet/drunk but it's okay just breathe
Your way to the next day sit and look at pictures be jealous
Of the you you used to be
Shower like you're poison
Fill your car and
Head South Head South Head South
light skin
light curls
light laugh
light... heart
dark skin
dark curls
dark laugh
heavy... heart
eyes clear green
eyes deep cafe
stare with electricity
carry me down
feel the intensity
soft sweet sultry
rough cut ravenous
delicate porcelain
sturdy terracotta
envelope me
chase me
ravage me
break my porcelain skin
entice me
awake me
tighten me
sand my rough edges
hold me close
till days end
to show me love
and compliment
in the backs of cabs that reek of stale vomit,
blue salt specks are dragged against their will to rest in the ridges of the floor mats.
fluorescent confused cubicles of light flashing by-
your mind fighting to make shapes out of the blur.
it’s january, this is everyone’s mood.
fingers folded into fists, stuffed into nylon pockets,
catching your breath and watching the scenery swirl past
like the entire horizon is made of melting wax.
you’re replaying day old conversations, analyzing cryptic eye movements
and body language of those people that strike you so suddenly.
those strangers that have pushed and shoved every defense and nestled themselves
into every fiber of your being. you sicken yourself with these sappy adolescent romantic bouts
but they’re the only thing keeping you alive.
you don’t know these people.
you don’t even know yourself.
the cab driver mumbles something over the radio and your attention is brought back to the present.
he’s on the phone-
that’s illegal.
you’re a little concerned-
your life does lie in the shivering hands of a stranger who boredly grasps and curves a wheel, after all.
but you play it cool, you turn to nihilism- it’s easier this way.
death is fine.
the cab driver is passing your house while you’re swatting at questions.
you uncomfortably raise your quiet voice for a few hesitant notes.
“Here is fine!”
you urge to the driver while a fumbling hand shakes down your pockets for a twenty.
there’s your house- standing just as you left it
through the white mystery patches on the back window.
chock full of memories and problems and decay and warmth.
everything seems to rest so calmly in the palms of the bittersweet.
tell the stranger to have a goodnight.
he returns the favor.
everyone needs to hear these things-
it’s january, after all.
Her path was clear and filled with light,
Her thoughts were pure and ever right,
Her love secure and passion bright,
Her faith a beacon through the night.
She dreamt of life in other lands,
She wished for more than empty sands,
She looked for hope in other's hands,
She found nothing but broken strands.
Her heart now cold as falling snow,
Her love crushed like the grass below,
Her soul turned frozen long ago,
Her smile now simply there for show.
these eyes, these ears, this tongue, this nose, this skin
all touch the rest of the universe
a yolk slips between a slide
these eyes touch the light of the stars
these ears note the vibrations of space
this tongue tastes all that sustains me
this nose touches the scent of the past
this ancient light
this endless song
this unquenchable thirst
this countless breath
this vast shell around me
my senses are touch
an amoeba, a single sense
crossing the lense
a brain trying to categorize
the stillness
A father
Two fathers
I have two
Well, I have one
He cares for me. He is there.
Occasionally, he annoys the
ever
living
daylights
out of me
and he admits that
he cannot understand me
and that that frightens him more than anything.
I want to tell him that my ever present sadness
and the fear which, at times, threatens to vibrate my bones to jelly
till it drips out and down my fingertips
sticky and hot and red red red
I want to tell him that it is not all his fault
But my other father.
I never knew him
but mom says I have his wit
and his artistic flare
she only said that once
and we both cried
tried to email him
round about a year ago
no response
It is your fault, in part
not yours alone
but I cannot help but to resent you
you coward
nothing but a coward
left me when I was not even out and in the light
never once did my blue eyes see you
Did you know?
They look like yours.
A father
Two fathers
I have two
Well, I have one
Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
I’m so sorry for this;
I’ve done you wrong so many a time,
Finally babe, it's my victimless crime.
Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
Need to apologize,
Realize I’m mad and bound for decay,
Need to tell you; the fleeting light of the day.
Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
I’ve lied, through these, my guilt,
Kneel here repenting, hugging your hips.
Start to break down, what was sobriety dips.
Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
I’ve done it all again;
You’re already aware of my past,
Your fears they will continued, here I relapse.
Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
I’m back to it, the past.
These scars and old wounds fester again;
I’m back in the dirt, like a dog in his chains.
Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
You’re forced to know this now;
I fought, and I fight, it’s gotten bad.
I broke, then killed a man, giving all I had.
Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
There was that look again!
You my rock, my only salvation;
Gone, apartment empty, at the bus station...
Oh Darling, you’re no longer mine!
I cry into a mirror, cursing my name;
Sorrow turns to anger, these fists to blame.
A crash, broken mirror, a home inflamed...
Oh Darling gone, Oh Darling gone,
I can only apologize with my life,
A true sacrifice to never enshrine...
My Solace
when every aperture is a tunnel narrowing,
a light pin diminishing when nearing,
when the desk drawer yields up unused theater tickets,
for performances concluded yesterday,
when the denouement is nothing new but worse,
revealed in the coming attractions trailer,
when the rusted unborn poem notion is concluded
but remains unpublished,
for no beginning can be found,
when poems spilled forth like there would
never be a when they wouldn't,
I revisit my old friends, stars of pleasure,
when couplets fell like happy tears,
sweetly and freely,
my old friends, reread,
words rearranged in new combinations,
old poems, plants bearing new fruits,
re-titled all,
My Solace.
Parallel to you who finds comfort in the light,
I find peace where you flutter, in the depths of night.
You’re chased and swatted and hurtled outside,
I do hope you can find somewhere bright to hide.
For my darkness is my contentment, peaceful, serene
My mind falls absent, happily empty of the obscene.
Does the darkness outside, fill you with trouble and worry
Like the impending rising sun sets my mind a flurry?
Oh wise old moth, please stay as long as you need,
My bedside lamp can be your refuge, no need to plead.
You don’t have to tell me why you’re here, or open up to me,
Cause your presence here alone is a pleasure to see.
In twenty-four hours you’ll be looking for new lights to borrow
But please remember, wise moth,
I’ll be awake and lonely again tomorrow.
Full Moon Clear Skies
Stars all in the Sky
Night Time Good Nights
Black Holes Nova's Bright
Supreme Beings pull
the Fabric of Space faster than time
moving Beyond the Acceleration of Light
in the Blink of An Eye,
Man tries to replicate the technology They Fly
but Rely on Precious Oil
for old Machines they Designed.
