I surrender the  battle,
But dare not surrender the war.
I will not let go of my dreams.
I have borne too many
Bruises and run too far to
Give up. All I want is to
Feel the sun the way I want
To feel it and feel how I
Want to feel. Without your look
Of disdain burning deep in
My eyes, making me feel much
Smaller than I deserve to
Feel. I will fight the shame you
Give me. I will continue
To fight and I will win in
The end. This is my life.
Live your own.

My eyes probe the mist where it clings to to mountains.
The mountains who stand tall and strong
                                      Who grow darker as they rise Shadows.
They're pitted against the sharp vibrant sky
                                                    That surrounds them, vast, blue, mysterious.
I linger over the glassy river surface  
That reflects the cotton clouds
             And the dark, haunting mountains
             And their huge blue groundskeeper
The river winds and winds,
                            A great thriving knot,
                                                          Untanglable.
That sinks and weaves
And swims
Level with the earth
Equal in grandness
                                                         Acts as home to all
                              All who breath air
All who drink and sleep.
Those who gaze up at towers of green
When the sun is high and summer abroad
They chatter and gather and hunt
They roll in beds of fuzzy moss
                      Growing, growing,
To give life to others
To leave when it's time
                                                        I reach, I stretch
                         My fingers strain
To go there
To escape
So close, so close

                       My hands hit the glass.
The jerk jumps the frame.

What are you willing to give up?
For a little sweetness in your bitter world
A perfumed scented rose in a gold made vase
Elegance beauty …
A classy rose is never a commoner
Designer labels silky outfit,
Pearls, diamonds and gold…
She looks so poised.. she doesn’t even have to look
And your heart starts to beat so fast…
Every time she moves and struts
Her gaze rocks your life…
Her moves holds your breath..
Her smiles melt your every body parts…
She is the sweetest… she is the jewel..
She hypnotizes you by just standing there..
You’ve lost yourself in her aura…
Such a threat she is….
Dangerous beauty…
Intelligent mind…
What are you willing to lose?
For this Sweet poison..?

I have been running for years
Tub full of tears..
Fighting dozens of fears
Betrayed by peers..
Trust issues ..
As I sit here and clutch tissues..
How can a man cry blood.
Pops killed as a kid life of a thug...
Not me but he..
I am a lover not fighter.
Guess that's why at one point I was a womanizer..
Liquor licked lust until the night expired
I ran from my calling..
Taking the wrong shots I failed at balling...
Realized the love of the Messiah
Sin check my rap sheet I had priors
Should have been put in a hellish prison
Embracing conviction.
Jesus Christ gave me redemption

The tears run down her time worn skin
As she remembers the things that she had been
Memories of her sons marching off to war
And the knowledge that she would see them no more
Tears for her husband now long passed away
Tears for the news that she saw today
News off the death of another young man
Blown apart by a bomb in some far distant land

Tears for his parents now left to grieve
Tears for his wife and the children he leaves
She weeps for the sins of this of this sad weary world
She weeps as though it can blind all her cares

All she cares is just to weep
Weep her tears until it bleeds..
She weeps herself until she sleeps..
Sees her dead son's smiles in her sleep...
Her husband waves and his image becomes blurry..
She tries hard to keep them both in her memory..
The tears she hopes will keep her sane...
These tears are real story..
Now her life is only deep sweet memory

Wakes up again and still she weeps...
She remembers them, yes too dearly...
Her grief is just too deep... just too deep...
Memories of her loved ones keep taunting her sleeps
Every drops of her tears is painful indeed..
Does anybody care that she will spend the rest of her life to grief and to weep?

A river of tears that she weeps, does it worth it?
Will the hurtful memories one day fade?
Will she go crazy so to make it all so easy?
so .... should could no longer weep herself to sleep?

I love to sleep
I pretend I forget
I take it in doses
pretending I’m dead
and as I awake
It’s a shun just to know
that I’m thrust into the next day
with nothing to show
except empty lined pockets
turned out just to tell
running from this life
with soles smooth as hell
I neglect all ambition
and travel on foot
a shadow for companion
and at nights I take note
that this is not the last time
that I will fill this void
with ripped up repeats
and pieces that don’t fit
into my life
I’m a traveling band
that plays music so solemn
a soundtrack to my days
spent reused and for joy
written on misuse
and caution signs beware
that one day ill find you
and you won’t believe
the way my eyes scream for help
and you’re the air that I breathe
I’m more than depressed
more than they say
and your time won’t be wasted
on a misfit like me
I’m more than broken
I’m more than just the surface
bring me your real heart
and I’ll surely love it
because I used to lose control
I misplaced the intentions
but now I’m waiting here blind folded
bracing my self
waiting for the gun to go off
hoping ill be blown away
and I’ll wake up
look into that mirror
and know that someday
I’ll hear you whisper…
“You’re the one”

I look down at my palette, and see the paints melting together.
I remember when we were like that,
colouring the canvas with life.
You were the deep, dark blue of an ocean at night,
and I was the grey of clouds.
You brought vividness to me,
and turned my dull hue to vibrance.
So how did we get like this?
The painter’s brush mixed us too far,
turning our kaleidoscope into a jumbled mess.
Murky brown, and unusable,
unable to be separated.
We’ve become so close our colours have merged
and we are no longer separates.
Wherever I go I take some of you with me.
Dragged across the canvas behind me,
like an afterthought.
The trail of a comet.
A past that will never really leave me
because by now it’s a part of me.
It’s second nature
to think of you when my mind wanders
and to reach for your hand without thought.
You’ve changed me forever
and I can never go back
to a time before you
before us.
But why would I want to?

You wish you could grab  the hands on the clock and turn them back so fast.
You feel the pain in your heart and see the hurt in your eyes.
But not one soul seems to notice your pain.
No one  knows that you're keeping yourself together with tape and glue.
Closing your eyes so tight so not one tear can squeeze its way between the floodgates of your eyes.
Always giving away parts of yourself and never getting them back.
Always moving, always going and never having time to think about yourself.
Wishing you could show all those who've past what you've done and who you've become.
Your life is the never ending cycle of pain and you wish you could give it all away.
But you can't.
So for now all you have is tape and glue.

I cannot fathom my life without you.
You are the stars in my night sky and the rays of sun seeping in through my bedroom window.
You are the sun and I am the Earth as I am constantly orbiting around you just to feel your warmth
Your laugh paints a beautiful sunset of  pink, orange and yellow.
And when I think back on our chilly fall nights, I laugh, because you were too stubborn to wear my jacket.
And when I hear my words replaying in my mind again and again like a broken record, I cry, as I hear myself say:
I have to let you go
I have to let you go