All the dogs seem to bark as i trespass,
Treading on dirt and broken glass,
And other miscellaneous things from my past,
My shoes absorb the moisture from the dew on the wet grass,
And i wonder how much Adrenalin the sirens will bring,
If they do ring, i hope enough to get away,
To wake in my bed the next day,
As i walk, i look to the city lights,
You! May call this criminal activity,
But to me and my friends these were prime nights,
I reminisce of a time or two,
But only time will tell,
What life i choose.
winding ways of moss grown stone
lead me down this path I've known
when we met and starlight shone
I said goodbye to life alone.
my painted picture differed
yours was a sculpture, Sun bleached
mine was coal, from strain leeched
a fate Id hoped, to tell no
but gods are cynical, time shows
here again I am and stand
forgotten how to lay down
feel my mind turn to sand
a mindset that live found
creases beside blue eyes
shows how much that I've grown
echoes in my empty soul
speaks to effort blood sewn
i don’t want to live anymore
or wouldn’t you know
slam on the breaks
and end this show
it’s an ax murder,
a brutal cage fight.
split your knees open and turn out the lights.
for me anyways life is a dream
a haze of responsibilities
and cigarette rage.
suicide more bitter the very next day.
can your lips draw me out from this wintry haze?
sometimes i wonder if i could be saved.
years gone by, the razors kept safe.
burn off my knuckles and keep playing the games~
A dynamic life
That's what I've always wanted
And it seems to be what I've ended up with
It's such a thing to look back and see how far I've come from where I was
I needed to believe in progress
When I was younger
And learned about Siddhartha
I became so inspired
I finally knew what to go after
The cure to these insufferable thoughts
Some sort of consistency between what was real and what was not
No one ever told me about the side effects
Nietzsche was always after me
Plato trying desperately to show me the trees
Capitalism challenging me to determine the difference between what I want and what I need
The side effects:
I couldn't tell the difference from one person to the next
The opposite of dynamic is static
I've grown numb by the shock of every time I encounter it
How can you be so dense?
How can you not see?
There's very little difference between you and me
Sometimes I feel mad
I get so angry
The side effect of pursuing enlightenment
Nature heals all
A gentle breeze can
lift the negative thoughts
The soothing waters
Can bring solace
To those in need
Supplements the transition
From your past self to your new self
And it is through Fire
That you are reborn,
Unchained to your troubled passed
Free to start a new life.
I am here to destroy you.
I am here to bring life.
I cannot fully explain to you
How perplexing it is
To be a 22 year old adult
But to still have the fear
Usually reserved for a young child
The fear of the dark
And not in a way that one is afraid of death
Or lions or tigers or bears
Oh my, my fear is much more irrational
You see I find I have bravery in real things
I’ve rock climbed mountains
Ridden roller coaters
Held a poisonous snake by the tale
You get why that’s braver right?
But what makes the hair on the back of my neck stand
What makes my skin pucker into tiny little bumps
Are monsters born of my own imagination
You see my imagination is wicked
And I use that word both ways
In the slang sense that it is awesome and powerful
And in the literal sense that is it evil
That when I imagine a monster
I give it ten hands with 20 fingers each ending with teeth
And eyes so black they sink into the monsters head
Making them look like empty sockets
So deep, they touch his brain
I am forever afraid
I’ll be honest with you
I sleep with all the lights on
And my closet doors wide open
So I could see exactly what is going on in there
I years ago threw out my bed skirt
Convinced they cloaked crooked
Teeth crawling critters capable of decapitation
And were all considerable stronger than myself
As you can imagine I have a lot of nightlights
Mobile ones I use to walk to the bathroom with in the middle of the night
I have to buy so many batteries
The clerk at Walmart can only reasonably assume
I have deviant private life
Because grown ass adults shouldn’t be that scared of the dark
Because at some point during or after childhood
I won’t assume it happens at the same time for everybody
Your imagination takes a backseat to logic
And you understand that monsters aren’t real
But death is and maybe that’s a more better fear to have
That didn’t happen with me though and I think most artists
If they were to be completely honest with you would tell you
It didn’t happen to them either they missed a step
In the development milestone department
Though I think they would tell you too like I’m about to tell you now
The fear is worth it there hasn’t been a single monster
I’ve imagined that hasn’t had an equal
Beautiful thought and I can see them better with all the lights on.
I stand on the edge of a growing storm.
Great clouds billow and burst.
Streaks of light chased by tremendous thunder.
But it's on the horizon.
I'm watching it shift and swirl.
I can feel it.
The ground beneath my feet.
That thud, thumping, thump.
The bass at your back.
The beat in your veins.
I pick up my youth right where I left it.
I forgot how to shake and rattle and roll.
Souls are earned not given.
There's a lie in alive,
when you're too busy getting it wrong.
I used to build and watch it break.
Now I'll break all I've ever built.
Ashes to ashes,
dust and rust.
I can feel it...
Burning, ebbing, glowing.
Sweet saccharine life.
A recklessness reserved for the young.
A wisdom earned by age.
Thud, thud, thump.
There's a rush only achieved,
when you've been bent and broken.
Crushed and cornered.
Taken right to the cusp.
And you fight.
You kick, you scratch, you claw.
You get on your fucking feet.
Thump, thump, THUD.
There's is blood under your nails.
Blood in your eyes.
Blood in the water.
There is always a silver lining.
There is always a sunset worth seeing.
There is always a way back.
There is a way in always...
as long as you do it right.
You step in my life again
I beat you in the dirt
Mess with my life again
I fuck you up
Mess with my love
I kill you
They wonder what's wrong with me
I always say nothing
They can't control me
Or my life
I'm done with them
He has been gone 15 years
Shows up like nothing happened
Wants to control me
Tell me to leave her
Because she has a baby
Sorry I'm not not like him
I will never abandon her
I hate you
Stay out of my life
Stop with the self pity bullshit
Nobody gives a fuck
Your a bitch to everybody
And you wonder
why your losing you kids
Why they are turning against you
Because you a pill popping bitch
I was a kid
You stole money
from a kid
Well I'm not your kid
Tina is my mom
Hg is my dad
I have a family
But you and Jason
You wonder what's wrong
Well here you go
But you'll do like always
Just take some pills
And pass out in your bed
So you know what
Fuck you both
Your not my family
I hate you both
My family is
And her baby
That's my family
So you can
Get the hell out my life
Before I make you