Your back is almost broken.
Your mind is almost taken.
Your sex is just a token
Of the hearts you've broken
On the day you kneel down.

You used to know the clean cool water
As it drove itself around the bend.
But you forgot the notes from father
His will found you talking without end.

Find the silence frozen in you mind,
The half-song that was your pride.
Feel the stomps of boots on soil.
That's our rythm, and the sign its time to move.

You feel the hands of thunder reaching out to touch
The lightning you forgot was still hidden in your groin.
Everything else you know doesn't matter that much.
Lets find our masks and guns and go find the coins
That only we know were ours, but still belong to us.

You will know the answer to the riddle in her cries.

You will remember every word you ever heard.

You will finally know why you did the things you did.

You will agree with all the reasons why she left.

You will see there's no wrong, but only right.

You will see the dirty dreams she dreams at night.

You are the rapist and the raped.

You are the guard at your master's gate.

You'll hear the the secret that you feared.

The music of the game of masks.

You'll know the end has come and gone.

The sound of lightning when it comes around.

On the day you kneel down.

I planted flowers
  Fixed the floor
Worked for hours
  Painted the door
Re-grouted the tile
  Sowed some seeds
Rested a while
  Then pulled the weeds
Painted the halls
  The carpet is new
Washed the walls
  And baseboards too
Removed the clutter
  granite counters were bought
Replaced the gutter  
  'Cause the old ones were shot
I stand back and see
  the results of our work
And mumble softly, Gee
  You're a stupid jerk
Shiny and new
  The house is a show
Prepared for a view
  By people we don't know
Our home's at it's best
  And everyone can tell it
So now we can rest
  And the realtor can sell it!

Misshapen I, assume this Harmful Trot
Another Term to disappoint your Name
This I Bow; Multiply my Penance lot
Never again will I repeat this Shame
For Honest Will, assist your Son's Best Worth
Though I know spouting Flames is not the Way
Purse this Regret; And shake the Stubborn Earth
Then leave this Barker alone for him to stay
Yet hopefully, in Prayer bid my Tears
You may Consider my Innocent Plan
To Heal, Flow and Live; Like your Boy's Best Years
To prove Un-Condition by your demand.
I Understand, your Investment withdrawn
But Faith in Mother's Heart is best to own.

People are mysterious,
We all have stories,
Secrets to keep,
We all have our lies,
Truth,
Most importantly we all know pain,
It is always the ones with the most pain,
Who become the targets,
From other people they are judged,
It's a very strange process,
Giving more pain to the pain,
They already suffer,
Take time to think,
Before you judge a person,
Ask yourself what they may be going through,
What happened in the past that affected who they are,
All they are trying to do,
Is figure out why they are here,
Who they are,
Sometimes they get blinded by judgement,
They get negative answers,
They think negative thoughts,
Then they become someone....
Wrong for who they were supposed to be.

It's also the strongest people,
Who have been through the most pain,
They suffered through all,
Found themselves in a better place,
Lit up there lives,
Ignored all the judgement,
And forgave those who put them in pain,
They grew from their experiences,
They never gave up,
They followed fate,
It brought them to a stronger place.

I am not sorry I drank so many nights when you slept.
I am not sorry you wept when I begged you for sex.
I am not sorry I fluidly ruined that wedding, and
I am not sorry for forgetting your friends’ names and pretending.
I am not sorry that print poems and prose is our vestige, and
I am not sorry for misinterpreting the tone of your text message.

I am not sorry I gave you my heart, my heart and my soul.
I am not sorry you are the truest love I will know.
I am not sorry we laughed, cried and survived like we did, and
I am not sorry for this fucked up life that I live.

I am…
sinking
awry
in the
green sea
of your eyes.
I am not sorry.
I apologize.

You said you loved me, lied through your teeth
No persuasion from my end maybe it's not how it seems
How you left me again for the fourth fucking time
But I knew it would happen before all the signs
I don't know if you're confused or just confusing
It's funny now that you're the one who's losing
We could never be the same again
Watch out, watch out for all of your  "friends"

Hello again
I Loved you once
Didn't you know
I thought I told you
At least 100 times
I never knew
What I was to you
But it became evident
With time
I knew what you
Were to me
From the the beginning
Everything
I never told you?
My mistake
Goodbye again

Fuck these nights.
Fuck them.
Fuck these feelings of anger, abandonment, fear, and jealousy--
but mostly anger.
Fuck the way I know I'm not going to like what I find
but keep looking anyway.
Fuck these memories that follow me around to this day
and keep finding ways to reinvent themselves.
Fuck the way I torture myself like this
over and over again.
Fuck that fluttering in my heart that could be mistaken for love
if I weren't so sure it's hatred.
Fuck you for making me so fucking weak
by giving me the world and then taking it away, little by little.
Fuck you for making me so fucking dependent
that I can't even go to sleep without a perfect goodnight.
Yeah, fuck you.