Sweet baby girl
With ocean eyes,

Go ahead and
Keep on crying.
Let the tears go
Until they're drying.
Your sadness won't
Want to stay.
You'll forget it all
In yesterday.


Soft little girl
With ocean eyes,

It's okay to
Keep on crying.
Let the tears go
Until they're drying.
Your sadness won't
Want to stay.
You'll forget it all
In yesterday.


Hopeful young girl
With ocean eyes,

I know it's hard
To still be crying.
Let the tears go
Until they're drying.
Your sadness wont
Want to stay.
You'll forget it all
In yesterday.


Strong woman
With ocean eyes,

I know you're tired
Of all this crying.
Let the tears go
They're almost drying.
Your sadness seems to
Want to stay.
But at least it lives
In yesterday.




©NDHK

If a mermaid falls in love...
Where does she get weak,
Is that electric connection dangerous,
And if her breath isn't taken away...
What is?



©NDHK

There is this space that exists inside.
In between my ribs and just under my heart.
It's not in a place to constantly remind me of its presence there.
But it does get nudged from time to time.
It holds onto things I've tried to rise above, to let go of...
But never fully doing so.

Things like negativity and doubt and stubbornness...
Like self esteem bruising childhood judgements.
Like bitter regret of missing out on "I love you" before someone dies.
Like ignorant teenage decisions there was no reason to be making.
Like that secret you told and the one you promised to keep.
Like dutifully cleaning up after destruction since it was easier than starting over new.
Like the coltish grace of learning to be a woman without one.
Like leading a child with having no direction of your own.
Like taking that last piece.
Like hoping karma takes over.
Like waiting for a sign before walking away from toxic people.
Like throwing your heart out there with only faith and hope to be its wings.
Like innate fear of being alright with who you truly are.
Like disappointment for taking all these years to figure yourself out.

Those are some things that rattle around on a quiet and calm night.
On a night that finally arrives after strenuous days bleeding together...
They ghost in and remind you they're still there.
It used to terrorize the still moments when that happened.
No control over the flood of images and empathy associated with each and every reminder.  
I thought it was in times like that, when drowning with the sorrows of yesterday was just as easy as an exhale.

But I was wrong...
I was mislead in my own thoughts.
Because when I was tapped on the shoulder by history.
It wasn't trying to hold me back.
It wasn't intending to maim my conscious.
I believe in fact, it just simply wanted to show progress.
To show the "then", compared to the "now"
How every piece of who I am today was shaped and structured in part, to everything I haven't let go of yet.
How do you know when your soul is weaker than strong but mighty enough to fight?

In being made to contemplate all the wonderful and fulfilling things and parts of who we are,
We also have to give credit to the dark pieces
The events and people that have burdened and burnt but never destroyed.
Like any balance in life we acknowledge both light and shadow.
Appreciation of the good in our lives is more fluid when we have proof of the struggles we've overcome.

Be it years ago or hours,
Seeing how far you've come from that which had held you under or has trampled your spirit.
It helps enlighten bit by bit.
And a step at a time is how we all move forward into who we're meant to be.

So i think, that space that exists very close to my heart but just far enough away...
I think I'm okay with it being there.
It may hold scars in the eyes of others
But I know scars are just golden reminders;
Of that which make us stronger.
For if one has no scars, what has one conquered?



©NDHK

people suck, but.... nevermindpeoplesuck
theycluckruckus in the wonderment. they can't trust trust.
they bleak speak. they last week a year from now, but somehow -
know how they don't remember. but they suspect.
and that's a cloud.
bold suns fumble the opaque  hail of our hardy Undone.
it shines the less.
we are mammals in the heaven of our ignorance.
but not god's fun.

The evil of man
I surly know
I know my own thoughts
As well...
When someone
Betrays or backstabs
Or cheats...
We become bitter
Our true hearts reveal
The true evil within us
Without any will...
Be it Jealousy,
Greed, Power
Or Lust
All ignite a hellish
Fire in us...
These very things
Have run through
My head
The many of times
That I saw red...
So shocking the anger
And things within
That came from my mouth
I wished I'd never said...
Brought knowledge of
The evil of man
We are all evil to
Some extent...
Why were we made to
Have feelings as such?
It's an unfair commodity
That's conquering us...
I don't like the feelings
That evilness brings...
It makes me not want
To hear, see, or feel
But its time to realize
That its very real!

Welcome to tonight’s show

Allow me to introduce myself.

I go by many names


Some of which, you may know
But those do not need to be mentioned
a howl, a moan, a scream, a summoning
Let’s keep this interesting.


This is the midnight calling
This is the raven cawing

This is the shadow lurking
And the jackals slurping

The demons wailing
While Charon is sailing,

The Acheron
The river
The first

The Eternal song
Of dripping livers
and Thirst

Stop

This is all confusing
And amusing
To some
And many
But to me it is painful

Demeaning
Putrid
Repugnant
Detrimental
Disturbing

And

A subjective simmer of passivity
A pious dose of sheer calamity

Once upon a time

In a land past the desert
Was a neon capped city
Devoid of hope

And shaped by
Casual nihilism

And too much money

A powerful portrait in all its brevity
The display of sweltering people melting against the asphalt
The mucous sunscreen and coarse sand between the toes

And crooked nails
And bleached hair
And coffee stained teeth
And pink nails
And Gucci purses
And Versace dresses
Shutter Shades
Corvettes
$5 lap dances

And promiscuous preteen slaves
To MTV
VH1
Pop sensations
Internet porn
Social networks
Smart phones
Model rock stars
Models
Interviews
Auditions
Mundane seductively
For him
Or she
The nepotistic aficionado

of  

Delicious, robust, superb, disdain  
Cocaine: Nose Candy
Heroin: Snake venom
After Parties: Gang bang adrenaline
Snuff Film tryouts: Garage studio
LSD: Acid
Plastic: Lips, skins, breasts.
24/7
Hits of E
X-T-C

and

Do you have change for a hundred?
Or a change for a life?

Cites in Dust
Thank Siouxsie and the Banshees; A carnival.

Shout
Tears for Fears, they’re Head over Heels

Love will Tear Us apart
From Joy Division, who claims she’s lost control

Los Angeles
“X”
Exene and Billy Zoom’s Wild Gift.

The perpetual rise of sunset rockers and Neon knights.
Teens crawling through the muck of socialites and incubator nightmares
Civil borders wired by racial slurs and salivating bigotry
Water replaced by blood
Spit interchanged for souls
And fire traded for icy methamphetamine

Warriors and survivors

Poets and dreamers

Shooters and inhalers

Geeks and groupies

Burnouts and Dropouts

Sweet dreams are made of this



Such a show, such a show! Bravo Bravo! Thank you, thanks to all I have time to thank: Martin Sheen, Julius Ceasar, Fender Guitars, Randy Marsh, elbow pads, Chuck Berry, Al Green, X, Joy Division, Tears for Fears, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Less than Zero, Alucard, Humphrey Bogart, Grace Kelly, Daryl Dixon, George Harrison, Brad Pitt, Rooney Mara (Love you), Belstaff, Emma Watson (Love you too), Laure Heriard Dubreuil, Manolo Blahnik, Hannah Murray and Michele Abeles.

So many to mention, so little time. We’ll be back.