Ambling through this life alone,
It costs me little sleep,
Retaining friends like water,
Doomed to drag me to the deep.
Solitude's my prison,
And my fortress too,
Denying me both joy and love,
But keeping me from you.
Through your beauty and your smile,
You brought me naught but pain,
I let you through the walls I'd made,
I won't do it again.
And friends are little better,
Their whispers at your back,
Willing you to shatter,
Willing you to crack.
Frozen smiles and empty words,
They know not that they lie,
For it's them that ring the bells,
When the end is nigh,
Maybe though I utter false,
I know deep down it's true,
This back and forth in my heart,
As I think it through.
I can't escape the ruin of men,
My head can't rule my heart,
Existing in cold limbo,
Not at the end nor start.
I cannot stand to stay alone,
But something holds me back,
From joining with the masses,
On the well-worn track.
While my hopes lose out to fears,
I'll stay a single man,
Unable to both loathe and love,
Without a master plan.
I amble through this life alone,
And it costs me all my sleep,
Retaining doubts like water,
Doomed to drag me to the deep,
Retaining doubts like water,
As I spiral to the deep.
I like fried egg sandwiches because they taste good
and Blackbird or Banana Pancakes
will earn me one or two
at the nicer fronts in Brooklyn.
Take these broken wings and learn to fly,
says the cute West Coast redhead as she tosses me my meal.
I’d make another stop at Seattlebucks just for kicks
but I know they’d kick me out.
My guitar frightens them.
His cream and seafoam green
clashes with their black and emerald,
and his whammy bar looks too much like part of a cappuccino machine.
My jacket is stinking again
so I truck on over to 7th street
where a trendy Asian kid nods his head to Otherside
and cleans it dry.
As long as I’m there
I put on my sunglasses at Union Square
so I can stare at the clouds while I strum.
Case throws himself on the stone
and sighs philosophically, “Why Donate?”
Now I’m no second rate city musician,
I’m the best of the best of the best sir.
I play gently and never yell.
I remember how stressful morning commutes were.
Don’t let me darken your door
that’s not what I came here for.
A big guy in a silver suit strolls over
and asks me if I sell CDs.
I scoff and tell him only losers listen to CDs.
I tell him I like his tie
and he throws it to Case.
Case catches and says, “Well damn.”
I will wait for you
I tell the man
and he says
the sun it rises slowly as I walk.
I exhaust all of my Ed Sheeran
searching for lunch but come up dry.
When my stomach’s empty my pipe isn’t
so I sweat a little
and Case channels his inner Yoda
saying, “Worry don’t.”
He hands me a granola bar and I protest
because it’s one of his last,
but sometimes you just can’t argue
with a grumbling belly
and a good friend.
I try my luck in the squares today because the circles are too open.
Herald treats me better than Times
which isn’t surprising
because in one I’m a novelty
and in the other, out of date.
Hey get rhythm
when you’ve got the blues
seems like silly advice from a sad musician,
but apparently not everyone’s a critic.
Case scoops up enough for a Big Mac and fries but
I forget the fries while Case protests
saying, “Will, don’t,”
but he knows just as well as I
that guitar needs new strings and now we’re only short $1.66
I walk and talk to myself
while I eat and end up back home
or one home
at the center of Central
where there’s a boulder like a schooner in an ocean of grass.
Tonight there are 6 stars out which is pretty good
all things considered.
as guitar hums Coldplay,
I spark a cig,
Case yawns, “We done,”
and we doze off.
do you remember how we met, when the air tasted like the sea and you were heading where you swore to never return for the love you could not have, but made you choose the choices you made, then with the leakage which tasted of the ocean only wishing you were seventy not seventeen or fourteen or -teen— that at the second we never touched, the greeting we never exchanged, the lives we could not save flowed all behind the day we did not happen— but hey i know your story as if inked under my skin where your sun does not fade and your sky does no harm and the sea no more than the sea— us on different frequencies of never ending rain- behind our eyelids i saw you in all the times you existed without me— you are not alone you who did not want to be remembered but wanted only to live; we never crossed- never crossed but i found your heart in the way it tried to beat- to beat through the chaos and the voices and the shadows that were not yours, i also know of the sorry you repeatedly whispered inside and whispered out loud- then you were gone— your story your heart i found them inside my veins in all my air and bones- oh i know of the bones and even the shadows, those with no masters— i discovered you who i did not meet- and for having remembered those memories that are not mine, for having recalled you your story your pain: i am sorry
After a night of new faces, warm hands and, countless mason jars over flowing with cheap wine; they settled down as soon as standing up became too difficult. His words went away with the smoke from the fire, the stars fell to their feet that night and, arms embraced the body of a lost soul. Adolescence and state boarders piled inside the dorm room along with, spoon fed youth. Friday night turned into saturday morning a new day under the same sky. Hollow hands come with a hollow heart. Shaky words and unwilling eyes, yet yearning to be wanted the way he once wanted her, when the snow flakes fell out of place on the noses of unprepared lovers. But winter shed its layers and new years bring new seasons and, new reasons not to love them. And new ages never bring guaranteed maturity; but time will let you know that not all hands aren't meant for holding. But she still hasn't learned that loose lovers don't make up for half written papers and, bright blue veins begging the body of rest. She keeps telling herself that happiness is a key that everyone is continuously hiding from her. She hasn't told a soul the full extent of what she's actually seen, or how her skin has been ripped open time and time again; and they refuse to be her friends. And if you ever play a game of connect the dots it always lead back to him. Isolation is just another excuse for an unknown absence she cannot control. She watches candle lit lovers kiss in the moonlight. Her shadow always reminds her how ordinary she is; but started putting her thoughts into containers and puts lids on lessons that mean the most. Like how she knows that kisses are not apologies and, even if he is still present she knows she no longer swims around inside his head anymore, simply because he is lost inside of it and, that's okay. And if words are the only thing that currently keep her company, its much better than the false hope she used to patch up her jacket with. Because those patches will tear again anyhow. And as lost she may be, she still finds herself envying the solitude that sits above the mountain tops, she cannot reach.
It's been cold for the past few days,
it's been dark a little longer,
and the sun takes it's time to rise.
The days are now slowly changing,
summer to fall,
Fall to winter,
I can't help but notice that I too am changing with it.
My heart is slowly freezing over,
my thoughts stay dark a little longer
and I to take my time to rise in the mornings, because I know you won't be there.
Everyone tells me to move on, even you.
The hardest thing that I heard you say is
"I'm not your girl anymore".
It was like a knife to the heart.
I still care endlessly
and my heart still has the same love for you.
I sit far, far away, miles apart but yet
I hope you know you are never alone.
I keep watch over you,
that my guardian angel watches over you too.
You won't ever know that I was there,
checking up on you everyday,
for as far as you know... I truly disappeared.
I'm not gonna pretend that you're alone in the nights,
I know he's there.
You're probably hanging out and making nice
and he has the nerve to ask my girl to dance
and you'll say yes,
but in my head you were always mine
and that's how I'll remember you.
As mine and me as yours.
I won't let go,
even if you have,
I'll keep the faith for the both of us right now
and if you don't come back like you're supposed to, well then..
You may be out of sight,
out of my path now
but you are never out of my mind.
I'm a man of my word and for as long as I can,
I'll make sure you are safe and sound
give you the lights,
all the lights to guide you home.
Things were better with you
But better without you
I let my love seep through and through
Until I didn't know what else to do
But run and hide
From all of the things inside
I left you stranded
With my heart in your hand
Where I will never get you or it back
In forever land
You ran through me like electricity
To find that somebody loved me
What a weird word to say
What an awful game to play
Love is not a battlefield
It's outer space
Scary and unknown
An idea we love to chase
Tell me you've found a love
but still have my heart
stashed away somewhere
probably torn apart
She rescued you from forever land
And gave you hope to breathe
The air filled your lungs
And left my heart to seethe
So I suppose things were better with you
Most likely to joke
Most likely to balk
Most likely to start
Most likely to laugh
Most likely to pass
Most likely to
hold you high.
Most likely to croon
Most likely to croak
Most likely to hear
Most likely to hinder
Most likely to leave
Most likely to
run too far.
You know what the worst part of living is?
That your sole purpose
is to fail,
That you're destined to disappoint
The very few people who acknowledge you exist.
You know I never really understood
Why they wear their pants that way
Pull them down to their knees
And walk around all day
But they say this is the fashion
It's a new trend I should try
That underwear is very cool
And catches peoples eyes
So I decided I should try this
I pulled my pants down way too far
Then to show the world how hip I was
I walked through Central Park
All the children were excited
I saw them point my way
They even told their teacher
She made them look the other way
Well then two cop's they came running
I assumed to see my style
I thought my trend was catching on
But the cop's they didn't smile
Those cops they'd start a new trend
One I didnt like as much
They put my hands behind my back
And slapped on silver cuffs
Now this jail cell seems so small
With this big man next to me
He says he'll be my best friend
And that he likes just what he sees
So glad to see the courtroom
Filled with people from the streets
They yell, rethink your fashion trend
If you're wearing a G-String
Now the judge he was not happy
But he did not give me time
He said wear a G-String where you want
No one can take that right
You see the Judge he wore a G-String
Underneath his long black robe
He did not find me guilty
A free man I could go
So I walked outside of the courtroom
As a free man once again
And became so very famous
For my new found Fashion Trend
Carl Joseph Roberts
everyday my eyes go fluttering,
here and there, everywhere,
every hour seems like a year,
waiting for a person in despair,
not a person I would love,
but someone I long to see,
every minute of the day,
I may sound confusing,
but pay attention,
'cause I do.
Attentively watch, await,long,
for that one envelope,
inside which would be a page,
a white but unblank paper,
with words and exclaimations
About your explainations,
and your whereabout,
as I wait for that person
To bring me a letter from my beloved,
my dear love, my craving,
my sole purpose of living,
I convince myself by saying,
the post man must be lost!
or perhaps just lazy and late,
for he never comes,
and makes me wait in vain,
Sometimes I loose hope,
the only thing I've got,
but recall your face,
and remake my mind,
saying, maybe times are rough,
reason why you can't write to me,
perhaps just the work
that keeps you busy all day,
but yes I do wish you could just take time out,
to write three words on a card,
i love you.
send it to me,end my vacant wait..
It's been five years now,
you never wrote or even called,
ah! yes I received a telegram today,
Right now I opened it,
and as I opened it,
tears kissed my cheeks,
of happines that you did care!
but soon my tears of joy
turned into blood sobs,
when I read in the letter that you were gone,
passed away five years ago,
while saving someone at war,
sorrow could not leave my side
knowing it was all I had,
and my heart wept,
my eyes went numb,
at the letters on that little note,
but at the end were the three words
I had longed to hear,rather see,
"he loved you."
Was all I could bear to see,
my brain stopped working,
my limbs went void,
now, I still don't know why,
I wait for you..
I'm old now you know?
I wish you could see me,
wrinkled and stupid,
for I still wait for that day,
when I would get to see you at last,
with a letter saying those three little words,
"come with me"
tonight and forever,
we would make up for lost time,
and spend once more our lives,
but for now my longing is still not over,
for I still wait for the postman,
behind my window,
and I need no doors or even locks,
as my gaze still remains fixed on my post box..