You told me you loved her.
Her black eyes and chestnut hair,
The way she said you name,
or whispered it in your ear.
How when she held you,
all you could think about was breathing her in and out.
I asked you why you loved her and you answered without hesitation.
She’s perfect, you spoke.
It’s like god took the whole universe and wrapped it up into one girl.
Her eyes are like the night sky,
completely dark but with a sparkle all the same,
Her skin, the sands of Egypt.
Her mind is every great novel ever written
and when she opens her mouth flowers pour out.
She speaks in every language ever heard, at the same time.
A mane like a waterfall, gracefully cascading down her back,
and lips that reminded you of the Grand Canyon.
Every great being that ever was can’t amount to her.
She’s the single most spectacular creature,
like a universe all in its own.
I guess that settled it.
If she was your world, your love, and your everything,
I had never so much as crossed your mind.
But I knew you were telling the truth,
Because that’s how I feel about you.
And now my world’s imploding.
Just underneath his Wickett tree
Douglas Milford died, you see.
He died the way old men die
When pausing deep within a sigh.
And there he stood and watched
The world, his world
Into the deep, the darkest,
Empty, soulless shade.
Shaded well, and sadly so,
For Douglas Milford discovered secrets
All dead men come to know.
That time, she waits for no one.
And that it was time to go.
Time called him
And Douglas Milford heard
And empty word-
'Follow,' she said,
And Milford knew
It was but one more thing
He was required to do,
And he felt that lingering,
Like the gentle turn
Of a gossamer wing.
And Death paused,
At a raggedy pond,
And said, "You must leave
Your dreams here,
Before moving on.
What you were in life,
That emotionless shell,
You cannot be in death.
It will not do you well.
So discard it right here,
And we'll be on our way.
It is part of the fee
To the price you must pay."
And so Douglas Milford
Collected each dream
Into a small satchel
He'd taken along,
And he poured them inside,
Every hope, every scheme,
Every wish, every want,
Every childhood song.
And he wrapped them up tight,
Without any delay.
And then he watched Death
Simply toss them away.
"Death is unkind,"
He thought with a sigh,
Not quick to noticed
There was no longer a sky.
And that the air
Rusted metals and soot.
And the road was not easy
To travel barefoot.
He was poor
And not so right.
His boney feet
So thin and small
Did not show
He'd been quite large in life,
For, now Douglas did not seem so tall.
The cool wind against his face
Carried such a nasty sting,
His mind thundered in a rush,
And he remembered
Every little thing.
Ten years old he stood
And saw his mother cry,
And somewhere deep inside he ached
As he watched again his father die.
And his little baby sister -
Who came with the harvest moon,
Faded into the red and cold and gray,
Called away far, far too soon.
It was a pain that he could
And he cursed himself and
And there Death smiled,
For this pain had cut him
Like a knife.
"Why do I have to cling to these
Damned and fool-hearted memories?"
And he shivered with a quiet fear
As he wiped away a tear.
And Death told him,
"They haunted you in life, my friend.
And they'll haunt you to your very end.
They are the Ghosts in life
You could not change.
Cancel out or rearrange.
You've trained yourself so very well -
With your selective memory.
And you've crafted yourself quite a cell
By seeing only what you want to see.
All these years you've carried these
Little haunts you've hid so deep,
And you never could forgive yourself
For sins you did not plan to keep.
I am afraid they'll linger in your heart
And echo back from time to time-
It is the price you have to pay
When a haunt of guilt clouds up your mind."
And images danced against
The shaded thoughts within his head.
Every cold and empty thing
He'd ever briefly said.
Those words he'd shared with strangers,
Was he just arrogant,
Or completely blind?
Far too many moments when
All that he spoke
Was heartless and unkind.
Will they haunt me too? he thought,
Damn this vile retrospection.
Must I drag up everything
Accursed with indigestion.
There must be something good I've done
That Death cannot steal away.
Some memory locked so deep inside
The fates cannot betray.
And there he saw a spark of good,
A hint of gentle grace.
Was that Grandma? he wondered
As he saw her rosy face.
She shined with such compassion,
He longed for her embrace.
Her smile was so welcome
She brightened up this
But something in his mind snapped back,
And offered no reprieve.
"You are no victim, Douglas.
So do not grieve.
In life you lived just for the day.
You did every single thing your way.
You had no faith, and damned to hell
That eternity the preacher's sell.
You cared less for those with less than you-
And you cannot return to fix that.
It's a something you can't do.
There's so much you had no faith in,
For it wasn't your ideal.
But just because you don't believe in it,
Doesn't mean it isn't real.
This is your inheritance.
And you've worked hard for your reward.
You've hidden all your fortune,
And this it where it's stored."
And Douglas Milford rested some,
As if the day was finally done.
His bones, they ached,
His knuckles bled,
And there was a pounding
In his head.
And he swallowed dry the metal air,
And imagined a softly moving sea,
And tried to dream that he was there,
Still underneath his Wickett Tree.
That upside where it was cold and gray
Blue sky still welcomed in his day.
And that this ground,
Just shards of broken glass
Were soft and cool as new grass.
He tried to drift into his dream
Of peaceful quiet on a hill,
That gentle breeze that carried every
Song sung by the whippoorwill.
He wanted blue sky overhead,
And crickets chirping by his tree.
He longed to hear a story read
About how good a life should be.
But the jagged thorns that pricked his heel
Brought him back to skies of gray,
And to the shaded shards he knew as real,
That Douglas Milford died today.
Copyright © 2013 Richard D. Remler
"For death begins with life's first breath
And life begins at touch of death."
her skin was like a pure driven snow
laid behind the deepest blue eyes
and the brightest ruby red lips
you could not look at her and not
want to kiss those soft velvet lips
want to stare into those eyes
want to touch that skin
feel her run her long fingernail
up the spine of your back
to the back of your neck and chest
the nerve endings all over your body
exploding messages of pleasure
the chance meeting in the park
in an early spring warming sun
flowers beginning to burst with life
trees reaching up with their new leaves
you could not take your eyes off
sitting on the edge of the fountain
spewing a water spray from an angels mouth
two angels together in one slice of time
you waited as long as you could
it was time to return to work from lunch
and you had already run 10 minutes over
you walked past her dreading leaving
she looked up with those big blue eyes
and those ruby red lips began to move
you transfixed not realizing she was speaking
you stopped abruptly trying to clear your mind
but still no sound could be heard
only her big rimmed straw hat of white
the the bluest blue eyes
and reddest red lips
and her white alabaster skin
luckily she recognized the symptoms
and smiling put her hand on your arm
and waited patiently for the blood
to return to your brain
oddly she spoke with an island accent
how could this creature come from the islands
the sun and sand and alabaster
she was a princess mandated to sanctuary
on a holiday with her father
who was on business stop here in Atlanta
she knew no one here and the park
was just across the street from her sky suite
for some reason she felt okay speaking with me
now I was 30 minutes late as I took
a quick peek at my watch
you must go she asked?
Yes but can I show you the city later
Yes she smiled to me
I think I would like that
after getting her room number
I triple skipped, jumped and hopped
back to my office my head still abuzz
I stared into dreamland for the next 4 hours
you gonna stay over my boss yelled to me
I shook my head OMG it was 5:05
he yelled you gotta date Rob
yes an affair to attend to I said
an alabaster affair
Gomer LePoet ....
and reddest red lips
and her white alabaster skin
i wish i knew how your garden grew
carefully sown with love and care
a paisley scene with deepest of hue
and a plethora of smells perfume the air
i wish i could tell how it grew so well
an ocean of flora all freshly in bloom
all of your tangles have stories to tell
mysteries well-guarded in their leafy womb
when rain and overcast skies close in
your garden recedes in a quiet repose
the till is immaculate and the soil pristine
and foul weather can't even begin to impose
no matter what, your garden survives
with everything vibrant and very much alive
Under the rain we ran and we splashed
Like we were children again
The clouds were dark
And there was no sun
But you shined your brightest then
Your eyes so blue
They capture you
And never let you go
They watched as I took your hand
And placed it near my heart
I knew you could understand
Kiss they said
And my cheeks glowed red
Even though I've kissed you before
Kiss they said
And I turned my head
And began to blush more
It was in the moment
I decided to do it
I pulled you in
And the kiss began
And damn, I wish it didn't end
As the violins begin to play once more, silence fills the air. The doors are locked and no one is home. I can't relax or sleep.
You're coming back and I never wanted it. Perhaps, in retrospect, I shouldn't have met you.
Demons claw at my brain as the clocks tick slowly. my fingers drum the nightstand. There is no one awake to see the mental breakdown happening in the childish yellow room. The sand that left the top of the hourglass... I can never get that back. I wasted time on you. Wasted love on you. And for what? You to trick me and play with my mind and how horrible I was? I knew this.
You told me everything about you
Didn't miss a single detail
Except just a few you never mentioned
Like how wasted people's time
And how you were fake
But you told me your secrets
Who you loved, what's in your life
the marks on your arms, how unstable you were
E v e r y t h i n g
But there's a lesson
That you should learn
Don't trust people
I never can or will
Don't put things in my mind
I couldn't handle them
Even if they were secrets
You trusted the broken mess that couldn't be cleaned up
Your lips taunt me with words that scream of regret. My dreams get worse and worse every single night. I wake up exhausted and scared because of what I told you too. I long for that feelings to forget emotions. You ruined me.
But some days, I do miss you.
But now, the ghost cannot feel what you have done to her. The violin starts playing again.
And then, we start buying the coffins.
I've seen this shit,
I've felt a hit,
growin up most have split,
just fifteen oh so close.
trust he past on an over dose,
all those kids that he knew
are suffurin still, no school no clue,
I'm still hear and standin true
my child HOOD school,
was at howard,
be tuff survive or be a coward,
best friends ex had time to flex
did a drive by and hit the high way,
where's he at?
fuck reward be fat....
All those girl that would never say nope, who made me shit?.
put me to trauma with the lies of there drama,
now there just hoes fuckin for dope,.
hangin in high school on a tender rope,
how they do it how they cope....
My first love was gone in cuffs,
would never lisson,
cause his parents were always in prision,
what great learning skills.
I used to get high to feal em in the sky as if he was on mars,
instead locked behind bars,
I miss him in tears, I feal for his fears.
when he gets out for runnin and bookin,
hope he's still stunnin as sure as good lookin,
shit sure has faded
I'm sure glad I made it. 3
I had forgotten
Smiles and laughter
The silhouette of dreams.
All I knew was how to
A shit place in life
Stuck between heaven an hell.
You stood right there
I held on for dear life
As you took me for a ride
Through my own twisted mind.
All the pain came back
Of heartbreaks and promises.
So when I saw you,
I suddenly remembered it all.
she told me that
tons of people go through
the same exact thing
and for a second,
i felt better because
i knew someone could relate.
but i was pulled right back under
as i realized that
it means im normal.
that im not unique or
im the same piece of living
(im alive right?)
plastic as everyone else is.
im not anyone special,
i am just someone
a lot of
I stare into the light
As it grows bigger
As if to welcome me
Like I found somewhere I belong
A light, so bright
It stopped short
It changed its mind
Decided it was not my time
No, I will have to keep suffering
Pain, loneliness, hatred
The light left me
Why won't it consume me
Am I not worthy
Of course not
I knew that
I would only dim
The bright, white light