Do you want me to feel small? Shall I make myself small for you, now?
Tiny, tiny, tinier than the tiniest of things?
(they've found some very tiny things)
Am I too LARGE for you?
Do I embarrass you?
Do you think that I embarrass myself, with my H U G E N E S S?
My big voice, my big breasts, my BIG brazen ways?
I am not embarrassed.
I am not tiny.
I am not sorry.
You are the small one.
So very small
"Thorned coronet or a spine ridden diadem
Columns of my vertebrae you rowed up to the side of them
And slid a braquemard, home plated, in my diaphragm
Brutus to a Julius or Cassius to a caligula
You're shaking when you speak and you act rather ambiguous
Piteous pit falling I'm spitballing
And ballin up all of my shit
With a straw on my lips"
i am not your diadem, i wear that crown
beside no man
and i made you a diagram, warned how i felt
bout lion men
these days i get inside of them
and make their caves abandoned dens
and slay the sly clawed underhands
who tried to eat the wunderkid
you see these eyes? don’t lie to them
i’ll shoot the guy who tries to land
a bullseye in my vibrant lens
you’re crawling back to call me sin
not violent, i am not contending
i will not be rendered weapon
when i’m more like armageddon
in the body of a woman
if history was written off the way that you wanted
i’d still be a trident in hands of tyrants, loveless
and you would be a poor king, innocently luckless
recklessly denying of each bloody broken promise
so if we’re drawing from the vein of the kings and the crowns
let history go ahead and repeat itself now
i’ll be advisor to the feckless ego with the crown
until the body count is a recklessly drawn map of the grounds
behind the scenes yeah i can see you now
if you wanna save the city put that ego down
and no, this isn’t ‘bout battle or them soldier crowds
it’s ‘bout what’s better for the people in this starving town
so i will play your brutus and survive with stealth
ides of march around the bend, you love your pedestal
sic semper tyrannis, you declared it yourself
et tu brute? yeah i’m just here to help
The twilight speaks of greater
Greatness, for your spirit soars
Across the horizons of life and
The living--- leaving an era of
Idealized legacy of redeemed
Human equality and possibility.
The indomitable soul you once
Wore under your colored skin
Fuels our aspirations for better
World of kaleidoscope of faces,
Races, and happiness. Nelson,
Now that you have entered
The narrow door of immortality,
Let our tears be a vindication to
Your ideals of freedom and
Democracy. Rest in His peace
Our dear old man. For the world
You toiled to change is now our burden
Just as how we are burdened with
Your humility and humanity.
University of the Philippines--Diliman
Quezon City, Philippines
December 7, 2013
How can you know that person
So well she knows you
While your bond will worsen
And there is no thing you can do
How can you look her in the eyes
And tell her you don't feel
It was a villain in disguise
All he wanted was to steal
How can you tell her he took your heart
And a big magnifying glass
In the end he gave you part
Of the big and terrible mass
He said come look at this
There must be something wrong
Maybe there is something that you miss?
Because this used to be so strong
So you look at your own heart
Shamelessly thorn and adapted
And there slowly you make a start
To get to know what it affected
No matter the secrets hearts keep
There is one thing we all know
No wound can be too deep
For sincere love to undo
My energy is what you're taking
You are stealing it from me
Slowly and painfully my heart is breaking
It is somthing you must see
So now my love the time has come
For me to let you go
I can't explain where it comes from
But it's the right thing, I really know
I will care as long as I live
About how your life goes on
I just hope that you will forgive me
For not being the one
Breathe in the smoke
Let it burn your throat
Lungs are already black
Let it rot from the inside out
Wasting away to nothing but cracks
They won't understand your pain
Just smoke it all away
It's been a long time.
Fields of orange trees are torn
from their roots
to make room for
a thousand empty wooden boxes to be
planted in their place
There these empty boxes wait
for the warmth of a family
To be furnished
How it longs
To watch kids play
safely in its living room
To have the dog trample
neatly cared for lawn
To smell dads cooking
fill every square foot
To see moms face
when she finally returns
from a long day of work
To have love absorbed into its fibers
and stand out amongst the rest
To be decorated for the passing seasons
with other things besides
rust and snow
It dreams of these
It knows it could be more than
just a box
So there it sits
It's been a long time.
Every fiber of my body is on edge, seething with a burning urge to be alive.
More alive than this repetitive stasis that is Educational routine.
My blood thrums and sings with the desire and yearning for otherworldly adventures.
The uncontainable demanding within my soul that CRAVES more than a dull life set within the confines and standards of a society that has disbanded the thrill seeking pleasure that is and was the old world. Now we have to pay a small fortune in order to obtain a moment where we transcend grey and our colors blast and shoot through the spectrum in solar flare heartbeat pulses of excitement that dulls far too soon.
I want to taste sea salt and raindrops on my lips, grains of sand beneath my feet.
To feel every nerve in my body alight with the spark of something more.
To face the unknown, not in a city nor my home cowering for the remainder of my life.
But to claim my destiny with both hands, clutching my glaive firmly in battle stances while gazing unafraid into the eyes of my nemesis, my enemy. To duel it out on stormy seas, sails billowing, lifelines secured, braced upon the slick decks of pirate ships soaked with rain while torrents of wind lash at my body during a dangerous battle between lovers, demanding my downfall at the hands of nature but instead of falling to it I would prevail and arise. Where lightning cracks across the sky like a golden whip, where thunder roars in agony across the cosmos like Atlas holding up the weight of the sky.
Engaged in the throes of battle while the air is rich and pungent with the scent of steel and the satisfying clang of blades locked in combat. Sword against glaive, antagonist and protagonist.
To battle and seek, to pursue those who dare take whom and what I love. To become MORE. To transcend the fabric of dreams and turn all this into something tangible, to grasp it tight and shower the seeds of dreams into the soil of the real world, and to help it bloom into a reality I've wished for my whole life.
Instead of sitting around writing about how much more I long for. I don't want to be trapped in columns, in places at certain times.
To change the world, to alter my dull fate and the chance to make the stuff of my daydreams and night visions into more than just letters on a page. To whisper and weave the song of those worlds into the fabric of this twisted reality and watch as stardust mends the frayed edges.
Perhaps it is this fate, that my dreams never see the light of the midday sun
that there is not a strong enough conviction nor skilled weaver to bring about the change I long for.
We grow up in a world filled with fairy tales and books filled to the brim with stories to capture our imagination and you cant expect me to suddenly still be content and satisfied with the damnable grayness that is the black and white of our world that will never be filled with color.
And I will be doomed to write out worlds and cultures I can never touch and interact with, never will I be able to grasp the soil of the other worlds and exist within the places I make.
Never will we, of earth, trapped inside dull grey columns ever truly experience freedom.
Not even with our words for we cant even paint the sky a different color other than grey, and the ground beneath our feet will only ever be black. Despite the colors we think we see, they're not the colors we want. Just pale washed out shades of worlds we will never be a part of.
In a window less cell.
Where the phone never rings.
No visitors here.
Hold myself dear.
The wind bleats as lamb.
Only sound heard, rattling air-brick.
Still cold inside.
Sits waiting for endurance to call.
She doesn't need it.
He's just a prick.
He doesn't call.
Once he did.
She said she'd visit.
Only because she's bored.
What is it that makes her hide inside.
Hide inside her heart that died.
Static she waits in her virtual box.
Watching the seconds dance over the clock.
Knowing all that he wants is a game with his cock.
Stuck In a vortex between love and hate.
Certainly not feeling great.
The height from where she fell was lowly.
He truly is not holy.
He lives where terra firma strokes the belly of the worm.
The worm wants her to stroke him.
Will F**k him but only with words!
She will not go.
© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
I don't want to hate you as you been through the same, but why? I must know I trusted you. You let me down, Oh how could you there is no where to run or hide please don't give me your "excuses" you have stolen my youth nothing can give it back. IT was your fault and not mine your behavior changed my life forever the pain; I still carry around with me I feel a nothing a nobody my life is in ruins you paid the price! But as for me I feel trapped inside me wishing the abuse would go away but it follows me in my heart and I hold on to the bitterness that's all I have got, you see the pain is within me how can I ever forgive you now. knowing that we will never have a relationship hurts me deeply but I need to protect myself and others from you I hope that you understand the way I feel and just for me I need to let you go..
The North and South Poles
are just two lovers blowin' kisses
back and forth at each other.
...And we call it "wind".