i don't care about the color of your wallet or
how worn the sole of your shoes are
i just want you to ask me things
with question marks filled with concern

Stating the Obvious
He rarely smiled.
He does not listen to me when I talk.
He thinks I'm being vapid when I tell him about my day,
When I just wanted someone to share it with. Anyone at all.

He does not make time for me,
unless I have money to spend
He insists I'm hurting his feelings.
He's always saying goodbye to me,
And calling me emotional,
When I complain.

He looks me in the eye for ten years,
yet I din't know the color of his eyes
He avoids my gaze.
I flinch at his touch.
He becomes irritated at my questions,
When I just want to know him.
That is all.

It is because,
He likes someone.
Who is not me.

So don't ask me,
Why I don't say hi when I get home.
Why I refuse to answer your questions.
Why I didn't greet you on your birthday.

It is because,
I like someone.
Who is not you.

I don't know what I want
I'm so indecisive
Do I want you or not?
I go from having butterflies in my tummy
To completely shutting down and shutting you out
I have to make up my mind
I know you can't wait forever
But I'm a mess when it comes to things like this
I'm sorry for causing so much stress for the both of us
But my brain is playing this never ending ping pong game
It's like I get what I want then decide I don't need it anymore
I know I'm gonna end up hurting you
So I should just end this now while I can
My only problem though, is that I don't want to

She wants to know what it's like to be young,
Born into a grown up world
where Peter Pan never existed,
Neverland just an insane creation.
Alice is just a long forgotten dream
and the idea of Wonderland is nonsense.
Her hair isn't grey like the hearts surrounding her,
Yet she's lived twice as much as their combined existence.

The Fairy Godmother never gave her a shot
to lose a glass heel that the prince would never even find.
Her dreams are whiter than the purest snow,
Though she was born with a ruby red apple in her mouth.
She will remain a beauty, sleeping for eternity,
a princess locked away forever in a cold, dank dungeon.
This beast is savagely cruel, a truly heartless entity.
Their is no changing it, no saving it, no saving her.

I've seen this shit,
I've felt a hit,
    growin up most have split,
just fifteen  oh so close.
trust he past on an over dose,
all those kids that he knew
are suffurin still, no school no clue,
I'm still hear and standin true
my child HOOD school,
was at howard,
be tuff survive or be a coward,
15 too,
best friends ex had time to flex
did a drive by and hit the high way,
where's he at?
        fuck reward be fat....
All those girl that would never say nope, who made me shit?.
put me to trauma with the lies of there drama,
now there just hoes fuckin for dope,.
hangin in high school on a tender rope,
how they do it how they cope....

My first love was gone in cuffs,
would never lisson,
cause his parents were always in prision,
poppin pills?
       what great learning skills.
I used to get high to feal em in the sky as if he was on mars,
instead locked behind bars,
I miss him in tears, I feal for his fears.
when he gets out  for runnin and bookin,
hope he's still stunnin as sure as good lookin,


shit sure has faded
I'm sure glad I made it.  

Jesse   Mckush

Outside Oslo
in the base camp
after showering
you met Moira

in the cafe
for breakfast
and coffee
she was in a mood

about the Yank girl
and having to share
a tent with her
(when she wasn’t off

someplace being screwed
Moira said)
and always chewing gum
and those panties

she wears
I’ve seen more cloth
on a finger cut
she said

I’ll take your word for it
you said
she pouted
and stared at you

the finger cut I meant
you said
by the way
are you into

Oslo today?
you asked
mind if I hang along?
sure as long as you don’t

talk about the Yank
or football or Mahler
or whoever else
is hid up

in that brain of yours
she sipped her coffee
and ate her breakfast
saying nothing more

and you watched
as she ate
her eyes dark
and deep

her hair frizzed up
after the shower
her tee shirt
holding tight

her tits
and her blue jeans
hugging her thighs
as you’d like to do

later in Oslo
you toured about
the streets
saw the sights

had a beer or two
while you sat
with her
in some bar

she talking of Glasgow
and her job
and her brother
and his girlfriend

and how
she had this awful
wiggly arse
and floppy breasts

and large eyes
like cow pats
soft and brown
and she laughed  

and you liked it
when she laughed
it made her seem better
more human

less grumpy
less critical
and had you been
more brave you might

have kissed her
there and then
but you didn’t
you just ordered

another beer
and talked of Nietzsche
and Mahler
just to watch

her lips move
and incidentally
bore her.