i think about you
every little thing about you
haunting me all day.
i just can't take it anymore
because i know
i can never have you.
Cudi, Miller, My skrillex killer.
My only tune is dreamin high,
I'm just sober it's a lie, Got my tack my only tune,
iss ok be home in june,
see my boo so soon no doom,
Its a relapse she my trigga I collapse wit out my nigga.
has the tips we seen the trips.
Keep ya real don't give ya lips,
Your'e friend that blow your'e friend the hoe,
don't lose your'e pride don't lose that glow,
I'd feal the blame.
My heart the shame., Restart the button and earn the "name"
I'm sorry hailey, Leavin nd diseven
Gettin lost nd takin cost,
Ya boo jesseMckush
for my sister hailey haglund
You dont understand Chris
You are the best thing for me
You are a collection of dusty white illusions, desires, love on window panes
the color and tinge of which I am so excitable about
putting up in our new home
your face inspires me to write
like the angels
your face inspires me to be free
if only you knew less,
and more of how much it makes me
because you relinquish the love in my heart
folding it half in half, half in half
till there is nothing for the world to be seen
reverted back to where I've been
touched by an untouch
because all of the love that I've known
is not tangible
never tangible enough
I've waited months
I've waited near a year
because how can someone own up to all my dreams
materialize them as all I see
but not enough to enter into security
the commitment of short chance
the security of knowing nothing will always last
and that doesnt make me seem bitter
in the upturned corners of my heart
its that something
something keeps you from rolling into me
something to conceal yourself from me
its not what you want
its not what you feel
if that's the case then why cant I leave?
why cant I walk my spirit out of your life
without you noticing every detail
without some sadness in my wake?
because you want to brush your angelic knuckles across my streaming skin
because you need my mind to guide you, to get inside you
because you dont know
but you like it when you touch me
you talk to me like a concerned parent in your sleep
when I'm fine
quiet, assuming of the worst
because this would, and was the very first
that he's all that he projected himself to be
he loves, and so tenderly, so carefully, so fully
so it makes sense
that he wont give of himself to an item that includes me
and its not me,
you say honestly
but you cant say it isnt you
of what are boundaries
I'm not like your women
I know what it means to love
I give you air, I give you breath
I give you laughter, and the wind
I give you earth, I give you security
I give you pools to soothe your ridgid mind, to let the heaviness sink and be left behind
a place to allways land, to always fall
EVen when you loose your precious mind
Always know I'd be there to closely follow behind
I give you understanding
I give you your genious
because I have enough of it to not take yours for mine
I know what it means to love
I know what it takes to love you
even if you dont know, its true
mixed up beautiful man
just silence yourself and lets walk away
hand in hand
because I wont take up half your bed
I wont make you build a second-life
from the lies you have to tell your parents on behalf of me
and I wont kick and scream when time comes for life to carry you away from me
and I wont put taxes on my body, because if its my land
you can have it freely
and I wont tell you one thing, then judge you based on another
I wont follow you around the house
I wont take your money
or make you pay my way
because you are darling to me, because both you and I are different from they
Do not tell me to be quiet, do not silence my storm, do not tie me up in riddles, or covers to try and keep me warm. Do not try to be the drum to which my heart beats to, i am not a key in your lock, i am not the labyrinth within you.
Do not tell me to shut up and sit down, do not misunderstand me, assume. appertain, mislead or make me reborn. Do not be within which i do not wish to seek, i am not yours, your reproach, your tears, or your regrets when you're weak.
Do not put your fingers upon my lips, do not silence me with a look, do not think you are more than you think you are, because you are more than i ever thought to be enough. Do not try, do not even for a second walk away, do not leave me alone, do not even, let me ever scream for you to stay.
Do not ask me to stop talking, thinking i won't be long, this is not a 4/4 or 3 into 2 kind of song. There is no birth, without a death, there is no grief without feeling bereft.
Do not ever expect me to be, someone who you think i want to be.
Just take my hand,
say 'hush now, be still and come, be still with me'
Sometimes I feel as if I ended up in someones elses dream.
It happened last night again. I was wandering down
the lonely moonlit street. In a town I have never seen.
Suddenly, from an alley, a stranger came out in front of me.
Thinking I was in danger,for a moment I felt petrified.
I tried to walk my way around him when he grabbed my arm.
And just when I thought my heart will explode from fear he said:
-"You shouldn't be walking alone this late my dear"
I didn't know what to say. My heart was still pounding fast.
-"I will walk you home if I may suggest" he said again.
Still feeling bit scared, I just nodded my head and we started walking ahead.
Suddenly I realized, I didn't know where my home is.
-"I think I am lost." I said
He replied with a smile:
-"So it seems. Do you often walk through other people's dreams?"
"Actually, I think I do, but so far no one ever escorted me out as you!"
We started to laugh and my fear disappeared.
We were walking down the moonlit street in his dream.
-"So, do you usually dream of night?" I asked.
-"I do. I was on my way to watch the stars when you came by."
-"Oh, I love watching the stars too, may I watch them tonight with you?"
I never heard what he said, I woke up smiling in my bed.
A block, a wall.
Taller than tall.
forever she will stay.
If we have it my way.
Because my way is the only way.
A contradiction you'll say.
A game with no winner;
The saint, The sinner.
Find a way!
It's a new day.
Mine an yours
and their way.
Lost my mind!
And in no time, you will see;
there's a me,
and the me that I see.
It could be a melody
or a song to sing.
New feelings to bring.
And in my soul,
the story she tells
will never fail
to lead me.
A contradiction I'll say.
Love me to hate me.
Set you free!
Just let it be.
You and me.
Truth - That trifling curse.
Once you ignore it, it goes,
When you believe it, it shows,
You the soul of the being,
That stands before you.
You are capable of seeing,
The person that IS true,
To you and only you,
And to deny the truth shining through,
You risk the need to start anew.
But what are you to do?
Swim the ocean, blue?
Say adieu to the truth?
Destroy all that grew between us two,
Until all is burnt,
And I’m left clawing at the rubble,
Searching for you...
And you accrue some new friends,
Some straight up ‘true’ friends,
That will never try and unleash the real you,
That will only make you do what they do,
That will ‘cheer up’, cover up and conceal you,
That will always restrain, contain and enslave you,
That will always...That will never...truly...love you...
Not the way I do...
I love the real you - The face behind that mask.
None will ever take up the task of,
Reversing all the hurt you felt and allowing you to FLY FREE.
The task is too difficult, and it is plain for all to see,
Because first YOU must open up to the possibility,
That someone can love you for who you really are!
Not just the bits that you let them see.
You can’t believe that this is the happiest you can be
There IS more out there.
More to like.
More to love.
More to FEEL.
But it’s hard to feel when you hide inside a shell of yourself.
I tried to make you happy,
But obviously I can’t. I was foolish to try.
Only you can make you happy - by being your true self,
Then...if you want...please...be true to me...
She dances in the red light,
looking to find a way to fill her emptiness.
She walks in the deepest of ghettos,
messin' with the dirtiest fellows.
She knows she doesn't want this,
but she thinks it is the only way.
Meaningless love, a meaningless kiss
is all she gets at the end of the day.
She goes home,
she shouldn't even call it a home,
her pimp supplies it
and occasionally calls her on the phone.
Is this is what her life has turned into?
Surrounded by men?
If her life were put on repeat, would she do this again?
Just to get her name know,
she walks around in the skimpiest clothes.
But no one truly knows her name,
they call her obscene things,
only admiring her nearly naked frame,
but hey, it's what this life brings.
She thought this was the easiest way to get her money,
to give her freedom.
But don't think this life is freedom,
Her life is owned.
All her life consists of is to give men pleasure
This life of hers is dirty,
and she is not the only one.
Walk down Van Buren
at a certain time at night,
2 hours before the sun comes up,
you will see replicas of her,
getting in cars,
losing all respect,
just for a pay.
Stay away from this life,
Don't ever become a Mistress of the Night.
The worries you spout,
As we lay together in bed,
Possess no foundation but for those inside your head,
And the seemingly low self confidence,
How that so angers me,
Because your beauty - in and out - is all that I can see.
It isn’t your personality, either, that bothers me so,
but your refusal to accept yourself - to bow to the will of others so easily -
And I hope that the independence of university will give you the will to see.
The will to be...You - The Best Person In The World.
Now, don’t think that this is me criticising you:
I’m criticising me.
My constant big-headedness, self-importance and ego,
Doesn't cast a shadow upon you because you are part of myself.
And self-improvement is what I’m about,
Because you were part of me I started my task,
But as I went about trying to raise your self worth and rationality,
My mind came across something that implicated Me:
By trying to lessen your peer’s control,
I had already forfeited my role.
I had become just another judge, another parent. A Dictator.
I had become what I hated,
But you didn't know.
I was just trying to help.
I did not realise that I was acting the sculptor.
And I promise I did not think of you as clay to mold.
And don’t forget my stubbornness, laziness and fear.
They’re important too.
I was too stubborn to accept any other view,
Too lazy to even consider voicing my thoughts,
Too fearful that you would want to start anew.
Because without you, I don’t know what I would do.
So let this be the first day of the rest of our lives,
Let our conversation never end, but twist and turn and change us into better people than we could ever be alone
Woke up at the usual 0430
For my first cigarette on the deck
and to let Daisy take her morning pee
Coffee brewing while I showered
Hurrying to beat rush hour
Only to get to work long before I'm on the clock
Went to the head to wash the sleepiness away
And Monday's dread
Then looking in the mirror
Thinking Damn you look old
My graying stubble not a statement
I was just too lazy to shave
Tomorrow I shave twice or maybe thrice
To peel away a few years