A smile kisses my lips
as the darkness disappears
another endless night has faded
hours lost with lack of sleep
I tremble with anticipation
as my heart burns with inspiration
of so many others that have come before me
my skin humming with the beautiful notion
of their passion and devotion
my blood set ablaze
something is awakening within me
so far inside I had feared it was almost forgotten
but the dawn of each new day keeps trying to explain
all the many reasons I am here in the now
if you were to catch me right here, right now
there is nothing I would hide
I would bare all that lay inside
if you were to pay attention
this moment holds perfection
with its entirety of the unique
perched atop my hidden corner of my world
seeing nothing but knowing all
praying with the aching desire
to only keep getting higher and higher
to climb with worn hands
the rocky mountainside
to dance with bare feet
in the frisky river waters
with my days of sobbing on the bathroom floor
far enough behind me only to see a faint outline
tracing with my fingertips of aftershock
the bits of ridicule and criticism popping up
just as quickly fading to black
and instead of being riddled with tiny little holes
stealing the place
making a statement
taking a stand
I notice all that has made and kept me strong
for so very long kept in the background
my heartbeats pounds with the bass boom boom
all of a sudden the syncopation hits the room
the terror comes in waves so strong
shivers send endless currents up my spine
as if for one split second
not one atom around me is the same
almost dreamlike comes the realization
that I have always been
painting, writing, sculpting, singing, building
my very own reality........
Arms at her sides
Hangin' like a noose loop
Radio music sporadic static
Choking on some air waves
Her heart is locked up
She keeps it in the bottom drawer
Her house is surrounded by chain-link
Concertina wire
Shes too good for you
She has a picnic alone
Feeding crumbs to the ants
Sympathetic
So grown up and independent
I thinks its just chemical imbalance
Are you still waking up
To the shotgun blast alarm clock
Sleeping in the pitch black
Washing dishes burning matches
Watching television addict
Too young
To have it all figured out
Halfway through
You'll choke on the pieces
Pissed
Dog on a short chain
Too good for me
She's too busy curing cancer
And feeling sorry for herself
Someone told me what you said
I was a piece of shit hick
Drug addict rat
Because you know me?
I've got a strong chin
Been hit harder than that
There's the door
It's so hard to tell
When you're crying
Or just yawning.
Judgment is a leaking faucet.
So natural it seems to condemn
the unknown,
but I’ve seen the unknown
and it’s never what they think.
This world has different tongues,
crawling over each other to be heard.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen mankind
so divided, so full hate
over what they can’t see.
Children, reflective of their environment,
guided to beat down their gavel.
“What is that?” they persisted.
“It’s wrong,” they said.
But mother and father always told me,
“They just don’t know, baby.”
But even if they didn’t know,
their ridicule was the constant whistle of a belt lash.
Modern times are the same as the olden days.
Babies are born with the inherent fear of strangers
and mankind is born with the inherent fear of the unknown.
For religion is something of a mirage.
From afar, it’s inviting, encouraging.
And then all at once, that image disappears.
Fallacies spread like cancer,
extremists manipulate the weak and desperate.
And every group tears at each other’s throat to have the last word.
Because that fear of the unknown
drives us to obliterate each other
whether or not we consciously know so.
Vain attempts to change our ways,
but mankind is of the flesh
and there will be no perfect union.
I cry for the struggles,
the wars fought in the name of religion.
How a father could look upon his son
and speak that killing is what his god wants.
Killing is what his god wants.
Killing is what his god wants.
Killing.
God.
A gentle breeze of warmth pushes pleasant,
freakishly normal, but a smack on the water
builds waves that grow older and stronger.
You feel it all soft behind your eyes.
But there is always something missing
that on more cigarette can't fix.
There is always one bird flying
who just can't find the right sticks
to stand on, to launch from, to rise and
fight the world, so he glided circles
as Lady Hurricane approached.
He flew tired, then he flew more.
I opened the door to our house in Connecticut
in the red mist after Sandy and looked up, and
watched him ramble. "The Hawk in the Hurricane."
There he was circling, as if to prove his strength.
And when those boys and girls were murdered in Newtown,
just down the road,
I thought of him
like he was a good thing.
Brave enough stand and be a bad omen.
A crucifix with wings.
Innocent boys and girls are gone now.
Turned into a show we watch on TV.
But that is natural to life in this century,
so there's policy and argument
and my eyes turn back
to my own
endless circle
with an end.
Happiness makes a subtle appearance as just a humble breath,
a deli sandwich, as sun that peaks around the old windows.
And sees me,
invites a squint,
rises,
sets,
and then comes back.
Tears come streaming down my face,
Wiping off my make-up
Tears are streaming down my face,
Am I good enough for you?
I don’t want to try anymore
I don‘t see the point
Will this be the end
The end of me?
When I jump, I want to fly,
Would be better than staying here
I can’t stand watching
Everyone leave
Why can’t I be alright?
Why can’t things be the way
They way I want them to, be?
I just want to be happy and
Feel like the other girls
With their glorious curls
and lollipop swirls
There is no crime in being kind
To those who find
That being kind
Is hard enough
When they can't even smile
Just for a while.
I've always admired you
For putting a smile on your face
Every day.
No matter what you're going through,
Just being a brave little soildier
Braving the storm.
Even though you might blast at others at times,
But still
Deep down there,
I know you care.
You might be quiet
But I tell you
Your actions speak
Much
Much
LOUDER
Than your words.
And your words,
They already mean so much to me,
No matter how long
Or how
Short,
Even if it's just an
"Are you okay?"
And
I tell you
Your words are like
Heaven
To me.
Your listening
Is a comfort
To me.
Your actions
Lift me up,
Pick me up
When I am
Down.
Your shouts and worries
They're all heard,
And I am very thankful for that.
And it's just so amazing how
You and
You and
You and
You,
You all stay so strong
No matter what you're facing,
Plastering a smile
Every day.
Somehow,
Somewhat,
Someway,
Somewhere,
You're always there.
Thank You,
So
So
Much.
It did not tell me tales of woe.
It had just an arrow's flight to go
But he fell short.
Does anybody know?
An eye for an eye, mouth to a mouth,
The loudest music can't drown you out.
I can still feel your breath alive on my skin
And my mind just keeps screaming
"Don't let her in!"
"The loudest music can't drown you out" Meaning I can't get you out of my head
" 'Don't let her in' " like, don't trust her.
I know the explanations sound cheesy, but i'm going to put them there anyways just in case :)
I have this ache, Doctor. And so far, no amount of drugs or drink have been able to cure it. Where does it hurt, you ask? Why right here, Doctor. Right here in my chest. It started feeling odd when I saw HER for the first time. It was a Thursday; August eighteenth of two thousand eleven I believe. I remember her perfectly, for I had not, and have not, seen anybody more beautiful in my life. Her auburn hair was streaked with red and waterfalled perfectly over her delicate shoulders, that were on that day cloaked in a blue jacket. Her long graceful fingers bloomed from slender palms and were crowned with an elegant black nail polish with a cracked silver finish. To this day, I have never so much as imagined anybody more perfect than her. So what's my problem? Well Doctor, she hates me. I can see it glint in her dark eyes every time she looks at me. Why is this? Why I have not the slightest idea. All I have ever been was polite to her. All I have ever been was kind. When she shivers I give her my jacket, regardless of how cold I am at the time. When she is hungry, I use my last dime to feed her. I do everything in my power to make her happy, make her laugh when pain adds weight to her shoulders. But I guess it just wasn't enough in the end. What do you prescribe, did you say? An entire bottle of pain pills and a slash down each wrist? That sounds about right. Thank you, my dear Doctor.
