There is this slightest aching in my heart,
As something is missing in life.
This poem is for that overlooked - unknown - unheard fairy.
 
Baby just come to me now,
Now this shortfall can only be relieved by you.
 
The air breezes past me but still I don't feel like breathing it anymore,
Lest I lose you somewhere I am certainly worried about this, but why?
But why could not you just look at me,
I have seen the world but my mind only liked you.
 
So now you must come as
I just keep my hopes alive,
When you come in my dreams,
I wait when you come to take me to that world.

So now you come,
Take me, take me away.

I know this story
Two broken toys
Lives miming parody
Cruel tragedy

A girl behind glass
We can't touch our
Hearts live in the past

We could  press up
Against the pain of glass
It doesn't matter what we want
When your broken you just can't

I know how it is
Fate whispers tragedy
It can't be I want to die
Living dead presently

I see the world through glass
A world of people to see
They're mouthing words I can't hear
I scream but they can't touch me

I'm disconnected and distant
Shadow soul ghost echo
Ephermal intangible animal
Easily confused by what's real

Surviving starts this prison feeling
Crying staring at the ceiling
With every fiber of being
Longing to feel anything

I could sleep with you
Never touch soul just body
Fickle fates heart is a tyrant
One of life's little ironies

So you'll always be

The girl behind glass
Pretty snowglobe to stare at
Cold winter dream untouched
Secret hidden heart hurting enough

Find enough snowglobes
You'll learn to let go
We only have what we hold
Was it you we'll never know

But I'll remember you fondly
In your time of winter and trees most
Memories of hope I'll keep close
The last time someone touched my heart
These days I don't have many of those

I couldn't find who I am
Tell a soul
Why I'm damned
It's lost to me / lost to me

Get lost with me / lost with me
I've lost my way
Can you tell me please
Who I am today

So call me the doctor
Defrocked saint provocateur
whirlwind modern mess
All paradoxes in tension
I digress

So yeah tell me a story baby
And tell it to me true
I'll open up my veins
To all the lies / your sweet lies
That make up you

Get lost with me / lost with me
I've lost my way
Can you tell me please
Who I am today

Yeah we're all just paper lions
Roarin then cryin
Picture perfect Myriad contradictions alignin

So yeah tell me a story baby
And tell it to me true
I'll open up my veins
To all the lies / your sweet lies
That make up you

So yeah whisper your secrets baby
I'll make every one come true
Yeah open up your heart baby
You don't know what it might do

Get lost with me / are you lost to me?
I've lost my way / where are you?
Can you tell me please / oh dear please
Who I am today? / who are you?

I pressed my left heel down to get it into the strap of my sparkled sandal--bought from the cheap version of the rich girl store; I got them more than half off.
I'm a fraud.

Sliding my foot into the shoe,
the way I've done so many times before,
I lose my balance.

And there goes the first one.
I knew the nails were coming off;
I'm not all that wealthy.

I have to wait until the last minute to cough up fifteen bucks to get these things re-done.
I thought it just popped the nail straight off,
but it throbs and is begging for me to pay it some attention.

I peer down at where the once perfectly manicured nail (baby blue tips and all) had sat upon my index finger.
It has left a bloody mess--jagged and imperfect.

I can see my real nail drawn up next to my cuticle like a smile.
Placed on top is a half moon of hardened acrylic until it breaks off near the soft doughy point of my freshly exposed fingertip.
Edgy.
Almost.

The blood lines the rim and trickles it's way down
curving its way around the smile;
highlighting the crescent of my own fingernail.
It throbs.

“Fuck.”
I say wanting someone to hear me.
“FUcK.”
a little louder.

I just want to complain lately.
I want a little attention for the suffering I put my own self through.
As I wait it throbs more.

I wipe the blood away just to watch it refill.
I walk down the stairs,
and they take care of me.
They give me my oohs and ahhs and owes,
put some ointment on a paper towel because we don't have bandaids,
wrap it with tape,
and I'm off to sew my dress back together for dinner.

My sister's dress;
my sister's dress that she got from a nearby neighbor
who stuffed it in a trash bag and left it there for us to take.

Maybe I will get a discount.

Please
Stop
Repeating
How much a disappointment I am sometimes.
When I don't get good enough marks,
When I don't get into the board you want me to,
When I fumble in piano recitals.

Because I am,
Equally sad,
Broken,
Confused,
If not more than how anyone feels.

But I know,
It's for my good,
You hope to achieve what you couldn't yourself.

I just wish I could tell you somehow,
I'm working hard,
Very very hard,
To be the best daughter I can.

But please be patient,
I'm getting there.

The first time I stepped into school,
Admiring that beautiful wall of fame.
Carved in gold were so many names,
Dated back from decades ago.

Each year has a different name,
Each name part of history.
Shining bright under the light,
Too prestigious and too rare.

I told myself what if I could
See my name etched on the wall,
Nothing else can sweep it away,
Nothing else can wash it away.

But this dream of mine is dashed,
Thrown into the deepest sea,
Crushed almost for eternity,
Something I can never be.

I can't measure how much I've done,
Working so hard to get a step closer.
Each time I think I'm almost there,
I'm actually disillusioned,
I'm going nowhere.

From here I have two paths to go,
One to chase and persist on my goal,
Or I could simply accept my fate,
Give it a try,
Open my mind.
Perhaps that's where I'm meant to be.

My minds says one thing,
But my heart says another,
I hate these moments,
They're my greatest bother.

Is my life a book written my God?
Do all things happen for a reason,
Because that's how my fate was destined?
I wish I could know all the answers,
But I guess some things are secrets for our lifetime.

I wonder if I should go chase my dreams,
Be brave,
Be bold,
Be ridiculed at.

What if I grow to love my fate,
Loving,
Sharing,
Caring for others.

Is this the place that's meant for me?
I don't know the answer,
And I'll never know.

But how about the names in gold
And everything that seemed perfect to me?
To go forth and chase my dreams,
Or to just accept
My fate?

The sunset I haven't seen in so long
The sand building mountains under my toes
No reason to fight just come along
These rains will wash away all of your woes

Started writing just to be somebody
Found that I already was
Definitions of your hearts speak
There's no pain and no hurt, there's just us

These hopes raise me to kiss the salty air
To hold the stars close to my chest
And in the end we will be so near
As we watch the sun set to the west

The sunset I haven't seen in so long
The sand building mountains under my toes
We all enjoy life's ridiculous ride
Where it stops nobody knows

Sometimes I feel
That people are like messages
In a bottle

We choose to bottle it up
As we go though the rough tides

It gets protected
But
The hard glass
Creates a barrier
Against the reader
And
Us

It's difficult to pry open
The message in
The bottle

But all messages
Secretly long to be read

Some get lost in the saltiness
Of the sea

And some are lucky
Enough
To find someone
Interested in hearing
Their message

So they try
Their very best
To break that glass
And read
It
Understand
Their worries.
Hear their message

The message in the bottle
Is not alone
It wants to be read
But
It can't say a thing
Trapped In its little glass shell

Its mysteries just waiting
To be uncovered.