Slap me with your insults
I don't give a damn
Just throwing gas on the fire
You don't know who I am
Raising higher and higher
I will make you believe
That I am indestructible
I will make you see
You will bleed, you will cry
And I won't turn away
I will watch you forever
That'll be my day
I've taken your shit for the last time
You will not see me break
I will blow your fucking mind
I will blow your fucking mind
I will blow your fucking mind
A kind of darkness, a profusion of red carnations create, pervades,
a suspicion raises its head, but reassurances pour in soon,
a happy day, bright with the light of the oppressing eyes
a secure place, troubleless sleep, a snooper awake for us, assures,
in the prevailing circumstances, happiness is this:
uneasiness, in serpentine coils sleeping with me, doesn't stir all night.
"Aren't all these outside the wall of democracy?" a doubt
that started raising its head unawares, is put quickly to a narcotic sleep.
Guards stand alert, with loaded guns, ready to face any security breach,
In a dream, that feels real, the gun of protection is pointed to my head
I am vexed; is he a rogue, has he gone insane or is he just fatigued?
Before he jumps out from the dream and pull the trigger, one raises the alarm,
when the whistle is blown, the squad of guards are in position,within a minute,
how efficient is our security! my! my!
"But guys, obviously there is some mistake, where do you take me and my buddies?"
Pain won't go away;
It will forever stay this way
Until the night he holds you close
You realized it's just an act,
there you have the well know facts
Loving him was a waste of your night,
He wasn't willing to hold you tight
He told her how he never felt noticed
So she made it her job to always notice everything about him.
He told her he likes talking while kissing
So she made up poems in her head
One about excitement
And one about happiness
To whisper to him in the tangle of lips and tounge.
He expressed his envy towards her
How he also wanted to live in the moment
Just as she did
So she made it her duty to plan ahead to make sure
He could feel free.
He told her about heartbreaks
So she made sure to always have an extra supply of love and scotch tape
So if his heart gets broken he can tape the pieces together
And if that doesn't work
He can have her love
To see if it will heal him.
He told her about how she made him feel safe
Like she'd always be there for him
So she super glued her hand to his
So he'd always be with her
And always feel safe.
I guess there's only one solution
No ifs, ands, or buts
I can almost see the light
Before I've made the first cut
The first and last incision
Come true, my only wish
To solve all of your problems
Did you think I was so selfish?
I know what you're thinking,
"The girl who cried wolf."
I wish I could know what you were thinking
When you hear they found me swinging
Or drugged out on the floor
Or cut up in my bed
Or splattered on the walls
From a gun to my head
Or maybe a mix
I've always been one for theatrics
I'm just really tired
Of crying alone
Of everyone being too busy
Of everyone getting fed up
Of everyone leaving me behind
Of everyone not caring
Of everyone not being sympathetic
Of everyone for not listening
Of everyone for blowing me off
Of everyone for not returning the favor
Of everyone for everything
Of myself for everything
Of everyone for not believing
But I'll make you believe.
I am capable of anything.
I could tell you how every stupid Taylor swift song I hear reminds me of you.
Or how I'm drowning myself at the expense of my liver.
I could tell you I'm covering my lips in
Red lipstick hoping someone will call me out one bluff.
I know you'll regret leaving me; you always crawl back with broken promises.
And I could tell you how every east coast band I hear brings tears to my eyes.
I could tell you how winter is the most depressing
Time of the year for me because
Everything I see
Everything I do
Everything I hear
Reminds me of you.
And I just want to tell you one thing...
I am doing in everything in my power
In my heart
In my mind
In my body
To move on from what you ever said
Rain is pouring
They are the rhythm
To the thoughts in my head
Sings their own melody
With roaring in the distance
It sounds like
Nature is distressed
Letting out its anger
In a monstrous manner
Well how about the monsters
That lies in my head
There's no way they'll leave
They'll just drown me
They'll sweep me away
Such a sticky situation you and I so caught up in this beautiful web of lies.
We always act so innocent when they come around but the truth is I just want to kiss him and I know you want to touch her.
I smoked the last cigarette in the pack we shared; drugs and alcohol were the two things we had most in common.
I dressed in my best dress and danced along to your favorite song while you held my hips staring at her tits.
He caught my eye on that cold December night & the truth of it is I wanted to lick his lips to see if he tastes anything like you.
We got caught up in this mess... destroying ourselves while destroying each other.
I catch you grin as you watch me sweat cause we know tonight we will be the ones who connect.
And even in this stick situation you hold a piece of my damaged heart and I hold a piece of yours we can't quite let go of yet.
Writing a sob story that's too pathetic to cry over
It doesn't matter what you did, what you're doing or what you're going to do because I just want to be with you
I feel like a crazed boy band fan who knocks on their door at 5am
just to tell them how amazing they are
but they already know that
so the girl look twice as stupid then she did before her knuckles tapped their door.
At least they have body guards so they can prevent her from making a fool
Who is there to protect me, to prevent me?
Am I suppose to be my own sercurity
because I'm not as strong as I make myself seem
I can't lock my feelings away I can't program my mind to put a 1-2-3-4-5 digit code and store it some place.
It's more than attraction and your beautiful face
or the way my heart races down the empty road of our relation ship we never had
You and I wanted different things. You wanted my body
even then it felt like you didn't
I keep hoping and hoping that things will be different.
That my feelings will change and you take my position. But it wont and these butterflies in stomach tell me why.
Because its 5am when I should be asleep
or at least reading a book or watching tv but its 5am and I'm writing about you.
The sun is rising and the birds are chirping .
The noise of the birds tapping at my window annoys me because it reminds of me you and I not being together
it reminds that not only are we not lovers but we're barely even friends
"Holy shit," they said.
"That's one ugly bitch."
"Look at her skin."
"Look at her hair."
"God, she's repulsive."
"She's so fucking crazy."
"And so damn depressed."
"I know right. Like either kill yourself or give it a rest."
"She'll never have friends."
"She doesn't need 'em."
"True that, she'd probably just eat them."
"I can't stand depressed people."
"They just do it for attention."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I said
And we listened.