I've got your eyes locked on me now & I can feel every drop of the hot pain pouring from them. You are longing for a glance returned but I am busy sending all of my loathing to the boy staring at my hands from across the fire pit. His knees are alligned with mine & she's lounging between them. I'm so sick of hating every inch of him. I swore I'd stop but his lips are bleeding from that bite she gave him and I don't think I can. I'm sitting on your lap and I know just what you're thinking. You're breathing down my neck like you're begging. I'm begging to get out of this life. For all the pain that I distribute, there's gotta be some feeling left for me but I can't fucking find it. . I wish I could love you as hard as I loved him. I wish I could love you as hard as I hate him. I wish with every fiber of my being that I could love you at all. I wish I could feel the butterflies that are floating in you. I could tell that they're making a scene beneath your skin by the eager path your finger tips take up and down my spine. Sweetheart, for the agony I will inevitably feed you at the end of this, I'm so sorry
They are forever frozen,
reaching, stretching
towards the skies above.
They are told they
can touch the stars,
just out of reach.
Armies of them are placed
together -- frozen in the battle
to achieve their goal.
Wars are fought, lives lost
seasons past, years fly
they stand there - forever frozen.
Some are as ancient as the
stars themselves,
others are born into the world
with this impossible task.
They are imprisoned
by the earth
but still reach for the stars:
Soldiers
Prisoners
Trees.
I am my keepers' diary – My covers bear a likeness to her resolve
My pages are like her fragile heart,
The ink on them are the secrets from the depths of her soul.
In me she confides that which no one else knows
Her joy, pleasure, happiness and pride,
Her anger and rage, her sadness and sorrow.
I know my keeper well – I have felt every flick of her pen
I can tell when she smiles by the gentle turn of a page
Or when she cries and her teardrops fall into me,
I dutifully soak them and hold them forever within.
Her rage! Oh God! Her anger, it stings like the snap of a whip,
As her pen moves swiftly and sharply again and again.
Just when I think I can bear it no longer,
She softly smooths her hand over the freshly scored page
And in that moment, I know she needs me
Like anyone needs a good friend.
I am my keepers' diary – My covers shall never betray her resolve.
I miss the taste and feel
Of soft, tacky skin
Burning up against me.
I miss the option
To taste
And then pull back on
My skirt
And strut away
Using that walk they couldn't resist.
I miss no one,
Just myself
And the confidence in the hunt.
Scatter your ashes my dear,
Let the wind blow them away,
Let the ocean take your body,
And sail to another day.
Hope is on the horizon,
A heart as strong as a lion,
Burn all the photo's you took,
Start a new page of an open book.
Clear away all of the cobwebs,
And let the sun shine on through,
Blue skies are coming to meet you,
It's the promise I made, it's true.
Raise your flag like a soldier,
Let your past grow weaker and older,
Let the tears you've cried like a waterfall,
Evaporate into air, into molecules.
Just start you life over again.
The world is full of hack boys
Who just cause they are computer whizzes
Assume they can hack my mind with their toys
And when they experience the power of the mind
Their own bearings they cannot find
For my pen or my computer
Is much more powerful than their toys
And with me rests the future
While they the past will be due to their ploys
For we are those who walk alone
And are not disturbed by the stone
Strewn in our paths while we do shine
Like beaten gold or like vintage wine
For we are those who walk alone
And have nothing to do with those who moan
Life wasn't what was expected
We sat around thinking we would make something of ourselves
That we would drive nice cars
Have big houses
And a career
We had virgin minds to the real world
We would wake up every morning with smiles on our faces and such big enthusiasm
Thinking everything would be okay and we would go the right way
But that was all until the next day
When you woke up feeling not the same
And then that's when it all hit you.
The world wasn't the same
There was all this pity and shame
And you walked right its way
How could you let this go?
You don't even know
So what was life now?
Nothing more than just frowns
Sitting up all night thinking "how?"
So that's how you chose to live life
Because now you had the mentality of "why try when we all just die?"
And you wait and HOPE that there is a turn somewhere at some point
But you sit and hope only to find out one that there's no more
But that wasn't the same for your neighbor next door.
Because while you were living a rundown life
He was living the dream
He made it big.
And then that very last day
You finally figure it all out.
Life's what you make it
And every action has a consequence
But by then it was too late
Now all you have is nothing but shame
You do nothing but hope
Because hope never leaves us
But instead of hoping for your life to turn
You hope for the worse
For the day it all goes away
So you can finally
Rest.
I give myself to the world
in the hopes that I could change it.
Remake it from these lost souls,
dissolve this culture of hate.
But the further I dive, the harder it is to breathe
surrounded by all this suffering
it's exhausting
to be idealistic.
Should I just surrender?
Say goodbye, and give in
to the weight of the impossible?
To think this dream could turn plausible
is a fading vision as I wake.
But I get up everyday, still .
I say, "You have so much to be grateful for,"
and it makes me fucking hate it more
because it will always be too much.
I give and I give
and I'm
WEAK
with life
WEAK
with love
and I can't stop taking.
But somehow,
this weakness makes me stronger
connected to all those others
who hold the world each day,
are brave enough to whisper,
"I'll go on with you."
When I had friends,
They were in awe of me
And sulked like lesser beings
But in all truth,
I was just a little girl
Surprised to make it in
The big leagues.
We are all just mere victims
Of people who pursue hidden agendas
Of their own fancies and their whims
Games of people and their vendettas;
While we the simple and gullible
Are caught in the cross fire
And suffer problems unimaginable;
Until the protagonist doth tire
And let us pursue our goal
Which by then become intangible;
So that we end up caught in the shoal
And still remain eligible
And do not victimize those who try
Those who mean to, us destroy
To destroy us and doth us fry
But we are like Helen of Troy
The cause of wars of the world
For we are all just mere victims
Of people who pursue agendas
Which are unworthy even of our rectums
