let me be a dog
that you accidentally run over
and shed a tear for
let me be the leaf
that you crunch your foot upon
and feel joy about
let me be the keyboard
that your bony fingers dance upon
and you pour your heart into
but don't let me be myself
who loved you immensely and irrevocably
who didn't affect you at all.
I saw a picture of you today
And I thought,
"You are the most beautiful person I've ever SEEN."
It took my breath away.
I love you.
I am in love with you.
When I am in your arms
Nothing else matters.
When I see your face
I melt with joy.
When I think of you
My soul glows with awe.
I know I am okay, underneath all that desperate love.
I know I am. Somehow.
There's a bit of something there
That never was before,
I am so glad
That sometimes I have a lucid moment
Within the insanity of loving you.
When you are next to me,
For then I can't imagine even breathing without being near you.
But when you are absent,
When you are absent
Sometimes I am not sad
And I'm thankful I've discovered the duality
Of worshiping you
And enjoying my life without you always in it.
And it's not perfect-
I've spent a lifetime fearing this change.
My life has said to me,
"To let go is to forget, and to forget is to lose everything.
To trust is to be unprepared for damage.
To breathe is to allow a weakness you can't afford."
There are many many moments when your silence
Chafes at my wrists like rope,
When I panic, drowning in the loss of you
Even though I know it isn't a permanent one.
There are many moments, also
When I think of you and smile
Even though I know you are not thinking of me
Is much more progress than it seems like.
That is more faith and calm than I've ever been able to offer someone
I'd bring down the stars for.
I am working for this.
One wonders why how such Saturned Words cope
As most Frilly Humans come-out to Play
These Issues if with Learned Doctrines hope
Ampersand those Flavours screaming your Day
As such Cultures wean; Europe-by-West toll
Then tug Silly Asia her Life-Long Feast
Thinking, "My Leaves though Chant for your Enroll
Asking your Turnips Spice the very least."
Voices be Calm. Sure. Moments as Sport blooms
Though Posiedon sponsors your Element
As Friends Bespoke cry Laughter in their Rooms
As his Rowdy Voice gauds Embarassment.
Heart. Heart a-lone will he Author this Blame
Though Joy speaks Benign yet Frightened with Shame.
Mother soon you will be free to fly again outside the prison of your body, to dance in the cosmos amongst heavens realm.
To communicate with the oneness that is the universe, interpreted through your faith in God, and join the sanctuary of the other departed souls.
Gather again with your closest and dearest, still remembered and never forgotten in luxurious unity, comfort and divine peace.
The journey is over on this mortal coil, hard fought through effort and pain, frustrated emotions struggling for lucid thought.
Time now to rest, seek comfort and the quietness of serenity that awaits you after this struggle for your existence.
Surrender to the all engulfing love, its strong embrace, savour the attraction of the ultimate reality unfolding.
Leave now in the knowledge that those still here acknowledge and respect the greatest sacrifices you made for them.
Death kisses the spirit and wraps the emotions securely, igniting the soul's flame to burn brightly once again.
Fly high and free like a bird, Jonathan's got nothing on you as you soar and sweep through silvery feathered clouds to the deep blue joy edged with gilded light.
They're still here
They won't go away
Every night they come
Every night they hurt
The fucking nightmares
I know what they mean
I know what I must do
But I just can't
It would make me happy
But hurt too many people
Ill just suffer
To make them happy
I don't sleep
I don't eat
I put on a fake smile
To hide so much pain
Show a fake joy
To hide so much misery
Nobody would understand
So I keep it to myself
Hide it deep
But I claws its way out
It tears me apart
From the inside out
But I just push it deeper
But that just makes it angryer
But I can't hurt anybody
I can't tell them about it
It's to much
But I'll survive
Christmas was the one day of the year when the guns died away...
There were soldiers from two different sides and two different worlds,
But we all spoke the same language on Christmas.
December 24th, 11:50 pm
There are only 10 precious minutes until Christmas.
I can hear gunshots BOOMING and BANGING on all sides around me...
The sky is like a piece of black velvet.
It looks simply stunning when compared to
The snow that is marred with blood more red than drunk, bloodshot eyes.
All around me,
I see men gasping, gulping, and grabbing for air.
I can see the heat rising from their decaying bodies.
I have been instructed to not help them.
They're just gooks after all...
They don't live, breathe, and bleed just like you and me.
They are monsters who crave American blood...
December 24th, 11:59 pm
The guns are more heated than ever.
My adrenaline is racing.
The crisp, frosty air is kicking my ass right now.
The tears that I have shed are now frozen to my face.
My legs are numb and no yet waking,
My frigid pate is aching,
My blackened heart is breaking,
My blue hands that hold my damn gun are shaking,
And I can taste blood whenever I swallow,
But I cannot stop running.
I've been told that I'll die if I do...
December 25th, 12:00 am
Guns cease to fire...?
"Why have they stopped firing?"
I shout to my neighbor.
He just grins like the little boy he truly is, and simply responds,
All over the battlefield,
Men hoot and holler with joy and glee.
Each man is a little boy, once again.
The only guns we know of are plastic and squirt water...
But in the adult world,
The guns and insults stop.
In their place,
Men sing praise to the God they often curse,
And remember Rudolph, Frosty, and the other childish characters who used to make them innocently smile.
December 25th, 12:10 am
Every man who has not yet fallen has found a place to rest his head for the night.
We temporarily become friends with our enemies.
Friends, obviously, meaning people who agree to not shoot at each other for a mere 24 hours...
My buddy pulls out a flask from his sack,
And he spreads a little "Christmas Cheer" around the trench.
We all act like camels, and retain as much cheer as possible...
We'll need all the cheer we can get if we're going to survive for more than five minutes in the next round of hell.
December 25th, 12:00 pm
We take the time to sleep...
We take the time to quietly talk about our girls back home...
About the families that we've left behind...
About the food, activities, and places we miss most...
We make the most of every small, yet precious, moment that goes without a shot or kill.
For a minute,
I forget where I am.
I am actually happy for a moment.
December 26th, 12:01 am
We remember that we're supposed to kill each other,
So I let my gun do all the talking for me.
Christmas is the only time to be friends...
Any other day is a day to kill.
Christmas is a universal language.
Evidently everyone can understand it...
I guess it's just mutual that we take the time to NOT kill each other.
So are we going to kill each other until there are no more men standing?
If it were up to me, every day would be Christmas...
Then I could actually go home.
what is it liked to be loved?
to hear those words,
must be like the whole world is dancing
and singing with you.
and when those three words
swim into your ear
your body will sigh.
goosebumps will trickle down your back
and it would feel like you're
finally at peace with yourself.
they wouldn't judge your flaws,
you know someone wants your time, body and soul
and they'll adore every atom and molecule in your body.
it must make you shine so bright and every single
cell in your body would beam with joy.
i only know
as much of you
as you've allowed me
your moods change so quick
i never know
ill meet tomorrow
like when you took
and i met another
girl, that talks a mile a minute
that night i met your
pain and some
or when he kissed
you and i met
and your love high
or when you almost lost
the love of your life
I met a girl with remorse
crying in the bathroom stall
when you made a 17/18
on a test and
i met a girl who obnoxiously
dances out her joy
or when you couldn't
hit the low Fa
i met a moody girl
who gets sassy when
or doesn't get her way
or when i told you
i was a lesbian
and you told me
it was ok
i met an accepting
ive met many faces
but the thing
is that i love
every face and
a little more
with each hello
If I could write a poem about you I
would make all the verses rhyme.
I would always make you and I so
close we were almost
We have been too far too long
If I could write a tune about you
I would sing it
I couldn’t do it justice but it would be
a beautiful ballad
About the way you’re beautiful when
you dance with the sun
If I could, I would write that
you and I were stars
to bring everyone that beautiful
in such dark
like you once gave me
But, alas, I am not a poet
And my words are as empty as the wind
But remember I would write so far, so long
Just to return to you all the joy
You once gave to me
In being my home.
Inside of my exterior appearance
I am lifeless
Where there used to be feelings
Joy, Bliss, Hope, Love, and Happiness
the void is filled with feelings
Hate, Anger, Depression, Hopelessness, and Sorrow
I leave early for work just to drive
and blankly listen to music
hoping somewhere along the way
I will find myself
waiting for me to pick