Your heaven has failed me
On the days when I felt loading up the dish washer was a
Personal assault on my psyche
Your god has-
Run me over with his fists too many times
And made me believe it was paternal pat’s on the back
Pain I was feeling,
You carry the gravel in your teeth
To make sure its full of grit,
When you speak,
“you’re full of shit”
You say im just weak for the things
That have made me unholy.
I am weak for the things that have unbroken me.
These words are shrapnel
You let them sink into our skin there is no more dirt to chew
I will spend my last moments
Holding onto the fucking noose
I’m going down swinging
And if that means I’ll hang
So be it
There are worst ways to die
Because I’ve died before
Nothing special happens. Ya’ll can stop dreaming.
Kindness isn’t supposed to taste so bitter
Isn’t supposed to hurt so much
Never knew how much the night sky despised the daylight
Until you moved to a country where it gets longer every year
You never knew how kind
The sun was to your skin-
Ive got tan lines where my noose used to swing
It took me three years to untie myself
And I still have scars
Whether they will be there or not in a few more years
I guess ill stick around and see just
How much ive
My thoughts scare me
I understand me barely
And in my stomach you pain me
My deep interest in you is vaguely
you pass my mind daily
You run laps in my thoughts
Your so chill
I wanna explore you
The idea of you I have fought
The wrestling got me ill
I wanna explore you
The weird feeling in my stomach
Am scared to call it butterflies
And am scared to look in your eyes
Cause you give my body electrics
I wanna explore you
I'd do anything for you
I wanna explore you
Just stay near you
I wanna explore you
Why are you such a mystery
Exploring you is the only way to me out of misery
My older brother was extremely rich,
but he was quite rude to an evil witch.
The witch then cast a mysterious spell,
my poor brother had hoped she meant well.
The spell was forbidden in society,
but the witch did not stop as her heart was icy.
A little wait and the result,
was that my brother only then had salt.
He moaned and complained, he became insane,
while the witch was sick beyond humane.
As he did not know that she was ill,
he had a noose to hang himself made at the mill.
He then killed himself unaware of the fact,
that the witch was dead, his money was back.
Marmite! (Veggie Mite) Peanut Butter!
Marmite and peanut butter,
My God what a terrible thought,
Both truly vile,
Foul in texture,
Reviled in taste!
Never have I ever bought,
Incredible how some can love 'em,
I can't bear the taste,
Smell makes me feel really ill,
Worse than any bitter pill!
Please don't make me a sarnie,
Not with these,
No not ever,
By all means spend your time with me,
Please to you I thee beseech,
That these two dreadful foods so vile,
Hit the dustbin in big style!
© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
I thought we were going
to be together.
life a breathing fairytale
almost coming to reality.
my hopes so high.
until I saw it.
you told another girl
something you've once told me.
I always held it close to me.
those words came
like poison bullets.
Striking me deep.
I can feel it pierce through.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!
WHY WOULDYOU LET ME BELIEVE THIS LIE!
WHAT WILL YOU GAIN!
DOES THIS SATISFY YOU!
those words rip through my heart.
each time I replay it.
I can feel myself growing
weaker & angrier.
your words like poison bullets.
it has no limits
level. after. level.
it wont stop.
your words will always be like
I hope you notice.
I hope your guilty conscience
eats you from the inside out.
slowly taking you away.
one day ill torture you
with poison bullets.
When in your heart you know that it's over, just not man enough to admit it..
So close I could have grabbed it another thing added to my wish list..
It's finished at least I feel it is, pain and sorrow how real it is..
Losing end of the bargain what kind of deal is this, putting my walls back up extra pad locks, made of steel and shit..
You shall not pass, none shall enter, bittersweet memories I'd rather not remember..
I always will that was a lie, along with me saying that ill be fine..
Maybe one day if I find the time, can't blame you, i knew the rules when I passed that line..
Now all that's left is to face my fears, in the back of my mind I knew you'd disappear..
No magic ball but it's crystal clear, you were the piece of my life that was missing dear..
Incomplete I feel that, you couldn't do it I hear that..
Imperfect perfection yes we're that, can you hear that?
Ghosts of what we used to be, just thought over time you'd get used to me..
When it came down to it thought you were choosing me, thought wrong you changed up that was news to me..
Now when I come around it's like who is he..
And when you ask, you're what happened to the dude that I used to be..
you cant defeat me
Ill act scattered
Ill be unfocused
Ill be motivated to motivate this terrible distraction in my mind
The answer is simple
School and AdHd dont mix
my brain is a dj playing dubstep
24 hours a day
non stop full volume
crank it up
because there is no stoping.
You make me so angry
You pull me around to follow you
And then you leave me somewhere desolate
You make me think you're worth it
And then you fool me
It's all fun for you
It's all a game to you
It's all a joke to you
It's all the same to you
Who do you think you are
To make me think you were worth it
To trick me so easily
When all you wanted was a laugh.
Well ill be a damned fool
To believe your lie again
Ill be a damned fool
To fall over you again
I don't want anything from you
I wouldn't even take a penny
Not a hug or a cuddle
Because you are not worth it
You are of no romantic use to me
So what are you good for?
A hot kiss?
Anything that involves no feeling
Anything quick to be done
Something ill never give up on
Is finding my cure
The one to ease my heart
And make living a verb
Life shouldn't be as static
As it's been for me
It should be worth the fight
And laced with ecstasy
It's not fair, it isn't fair
But with such a heavy glance of despair
You break me you mold me
I can't help but hold an overwhelming love for thee.
My poetry isn't bland, simple, or plain.
It's beautiful, a mess, and all sounds the same.
I use the same pattern, beat, and rhymes,
Eventually it will be used one too many times.
I am fighting the urge to love you so pure
God help me I have a poison and you are the cure.
Ignore me, push away, leave me to a thought.
It makes me miss you so much that I rot.
I'm a tree in the wind, I push but do not break
Will loving you turn out to just be a mistake?
Sometimes it's perfect and you're my closest best friend,
Other times it's like it was all just pretend.
It's not fair for me to desire your full attention,
And the sorrow in my soul is beyond comprehension.
I will never forgive myself, and you shouldn't either
I understand you need a break, your heart needs a breather.
I feel so worn thin, so little butter over too much bread
These thoughts and emotions must get out of my head.
What do you want can't you make yourself clear
But please don't tell me it's what I fear.
It's a sick sort of enjoyment, I get from this life,
It's hard to accept you seeing anyone else as a wife.
But that's what it's come to and that's my fault too
I just hope she makes you happy and her love is true.
You told me have patience to see if it's in my favor
I know I've had inexcusable behavior.
You probably didn't see that it was about you and I,
Waiting to see what you choose makes me want to die.
The heaviest burden I ever have bore,
I'm so sorry for that time, your heart, I tore.
It makes me feel ill to think about my choice,
But you don't understand, he stole my voice.
I won't talk about him because he isn't what I want,
Will my choice forever be over me, a ghost that will haunt?
I'm so sorry my dear, I'm so sorry my precious love,
You always treated me like a gift from above.
And sometimes I think about how bad is the pain,
When the person you love does not love the same.
Then I recall yet again what I did to your heart,
I wonder if it would be best, if I just chose to depart.
I get so beyond torn when I try to decide
Because no matter what, I won't leave your side.
Sometimes it just hurts too much, I have to write it out,
It comes it waves and I'm sorry for my doubt.
I'm sorry for the way my emotions turn and twist,
I never want you to have to deal with this.
I'm such a mess and I want to tell you all that I feel,
But I fear if I do, you will leave, and my nightmare will be real.
Oh my oh goodness me this has turned into a mess,
I can't form my words even when I try my best.
I'm sorry if this isn't clear, doesn't help, or bring peace,
I have no one to talk to, it just sits and festers, this is my release.