Feel the guilt and its killing me
Even though it might be a mire perception of thoughts accumulated by my desires and insecurities triggered by my needs to satisfy and by the hurt of hurting that is only felt by the kind hearts
A thing that might be a little pebble but it consumes the mind
Leaving nothing but worry and sickness and I'm tired so ill just break out with the truth even if it makes me look like a foul even if I'm crazy even if your the one doing me wrong cause I'm sick and tired of this chaos of mind ill cut out all the bull shit. A clear conscious
I used to listen to adele
When my heart was breaking
Now I wish I hadn't
Because everytime I listen to her
I remember it all
I used to tex you everyday
When my heart was breaking
You said we were still friends
I didn't feel this friends thing
When I knew you chose her
I sorted out my head
Your working nights tonight
Why do you still think of me
When the moon is full and shining
I havnt texed you for weeks
Why are you texing me
When your heart belongs to her
It makes me feel like listening to adele
But I don't want to go there right now
I don't even feel like texing you back
I guess ill turn up the volumne on poets of the fall
They always bring me back to myself
When the heartache
To take over
Once, there was a leader named Hill,
who thought certain people were ill.
He spoke against them,
deemed them a problem.
But in the end, it was Hill that was ill.
*This limerick poem is about former Boy Scout leader Chris Hill, who stepped down from his Collin County (TX) leadership position, in the wake of the Scouts' vote to accept gays into the organization.
Eleven Weeks. Is that all it took?
To take us from strangers, to
lovers, to strangers again? I knew
you for eleven weeks yet it felt
like a life time of memories.
Eleven Weeks. Is that all it took?
For me to break every rule of
love for you? To let down my guard
and make you the exception?
Only Eleven Weeks. For you to
become the most important person
in the world to me. For me to become
so co-dependent on you that the
thought of you not being near made me ill.
Eleven Weeks to go from a strong, independent woman to a love sick fool.
Eleven Weeks to sell my soul and give you everything you wanted from me.
Eleven Weeks to lose who I was because I thought you were so great.
Eleven Weeks to rethink my previous notions about love and affection.
Eleven Weeks to become the loneliest I've ever been.
It's not a lot of time and the simple fact that
Can change who I am at the core of my being is not okay with me.
Twenty one years being who I was.
Eleven Weeks to tear it all apart.
I'm a lost sock
Longing to keep a foot from feeling cold
Even though I can't cover your entire body
Ill settle for an extremity
Because it's true that
Something really is better than nothing
I was dropped between the dryer and the washing machine
Forgotten about just like the paper clip and the thumbtack
My mirror matching partner
May have gone on to meet another
But either way I lie here in lint
I remember the comfort of being in a shoe
When the warmth flowed through me
I knew I was really getting somewhere
Always aware I was part of a pair
One of a two
Half of a couple that together made a team
Then again there was way back when
I was pressed and packaged and pristine and
Presented myself to people in a store
Who could care less to think twice or
Double take and have a second glance at me
I was as unique as all the rest
But I took my job very seriously
Now I crave to do anything
To help anyone and be of use anywhere
To maybe one day be rediscovered and
Perhaps reunite with my other or
Become a fine furniture duster or
A puppet upon the hand of a person Practicing how to be humble
It's a dream and a hope and
One of the few things left I'm free to have faith in
They can take my feet away but
They can't take everything
Somewhere out there is a bare paw
Chilled to the bone and shivering
Stinging exposed to the world
Wishing I was there
Come find me
Drop something worth picking up
So you notice that long lost missing sock
Reach and retrieve me and return me to reality
I've been waiting for this forever it seems
But through your eyes it's just a
Routine insignificant finding
Unknowing that it means the world to me and
My entire existence revolves around dependency
give me a line that holds all my troubles
space grows scarce for the words of tomorrow
give me a meaning in one simple phrase
i've got to many words from past days
I wont read your long poem
your song of home far away
ill feel your words of love held so dear
Yes, these are the words fit for eyes, mouth, and ear
God how could i be so selfish?
to completely turn you away, like i did?...
thinking i didn't need you...
knowing when i got YOU is the only time i ever have everything ill ever need..
guess nobody really knows what they need the most until you've finally lost it..
when i loose you i only fall deeper into the wreck i already am without you.
your every thing and i missed it...
all the times life killed me inside,
all the times when i cried out desperately for just ANYONE to listen,
without being shut down.
instead i gave up on you ...
the times when the one i looked up to left me and i felt hopeless i wish i would have known sooner that turning away from you was like loosing myself
i needed you then...
i need you now
now i know without you im nothing that my heart is broken without you.
i need you God.
so this girl said she liked me
but more than a friend way
i thought she wasn't pretty
just not attractive
but i said
give it a chance she might be nice
so i took her in stride
gave her a chance
she seemed like she needed it
i meant what i told her
told what i meant her
but she wanted it to go
where i couldn't
i don't blame my loss
i can't blame her
but i do
she couldn't handle life
so i let it go
was just that
i owe her nothing
i gave her the chance she didn't really deserve
i am the one who is evil
i am used to being a punching bag
i never touched you
i don't want to now
so take your glasses out of my nightstand
don't forget anything
you aren't coming back
don't guilt me into feeling bad for you
it makes you ugly
not on the outside
on the inside
i won't leave you with ill words
it isn't worth my time
so i leave you like i found you
With you near,
I fear that it will never be clear on how I feel,
your my soul,
my happy pill,
without you I will be ill,
shaking, sweating, the whole nine yards.
You have to stay,
or I will soon be in vein..
My heart is beating so fast,
My breathing hurts,
Your arms around me tight and you don't let me go,
I never want to let go,
don't take my drugs away,
I cant suffer anymore,
your my happy pill,
Don't let me be ill,
make me still,
you can heal,
when you call my name,
theres no other that can make me feel the same,
and give me my medication,
be my daily dosage
until I am completely corroded,
there will never be a day,
that I cant say,
I Need You..
One: never listen to Bon Iver
when making important decisions
Two: appreciate sleepy grey cities
and their buttery suburbs because
you will miss them like hell
once you have to leave for good
Three: when in a car on the first
snowy night in December with that
boy you like, kiss him hard on the mouth
even though your mother's watching
Four: regret can make you ill
Five: indulge several minutes each day
to patch yourself up--rub your heels,
clean your fingernails, squeeze
the fat on your hips tenderly
Six: you'll find your way back home
somehow, but in the meantime
continue to press on