Call me useless, it won’t hurt
I’m used to being treated like dirt
Leave me left under the sun
Nothing that hasn’t already been done
Abandoned hopeless in the night
Oh the feeling of being a knight
I wanted to help to fight for you
"Do I want to? what else can I do?"
I guess you're alone in this world
That means I am too....
I like to see the good in everyone,
I love to give but hate to receive, am I the only one?
I'd love to see everyone grinning,
Hmm, wishful thinking?
I feel sorrow for every hurt soul,
Curse the one who turned you cold.
This is where it all twists,
& it starts sounding a lot more realistic.
I can't trust anyone, no matter how hard I try,
Not even if you swore on your life, not even if I saw you cry.
I'm incurable, I'm damaged,
Don't go for me, please, save yourself from my baggage.
I'm so cold hearted, you don't even know,
It's just that I'm great at hiding it, I like to put on a show.
I'm stubborn- very hard headed,
I'd advise you to forget me & don't fret it.
The thought of being with someone is comforting- finding something true,
But that's where you go wrong, that's when people take advantage of you.
When you see
A blank page.
Oh you'll know
You'll know all right
Little girl don't play with fire,
Change your object of desire.
In the end you're going to get hurt,
Tears and ashes all over your shirt.
You love it with a burning passion,
Don't you see it's so old fashioned?
Sweet angel burned by a flame,
And after, nothing is the same.
Little girl, go back home,
before you're covered in coal.
Go back to where you belong,
You know this is wrong.
he manages to say things that hurt more than anything i've ever felt
and he's not even special
You're setting yourself up to get hurt, humiliated even.
I guess these voices I'm hearing must be the voices of reason because I can't think of one reason for them to be wrong.
Don't do it.
Your dignity is all you have.
Let him come to you; don't go running to him.
I mean, they make a valid point.
But then a voice surfaces out of the innermost recesses of my mind,
Where all the thoughts I don't want to think lurk,
"Don't you remember me?" It says.
And my foolish heart aches and throbs and I find my soul trembling with the intensity of holding back the urge to run to the voice that shattered the world as i knew it.
And how could I ever let go of a voice so intertwined with the most beautiful memories I have?
With that fluid voice, a flood of memories, thoughts and nostalgia overwhelms and takes over my spirit, making my physical self lose its breath, my poor lungs contracting and expanding trying to get air to my exasperated mind who saw this coming and warned my heart. Then comes a feeling so strong, yet so hard to pinpoint, and it threatens to burst right through my chest and my annoying exterior and expose what I've been forever hiding.
love is a storm at sea
leaving me lost and alone
surrounded by something
I thought would never hurt me
and your cyanide lips
burnt in a way
that I could never resist
addictive wounds, inflicted by you
love is a quest of who can win
your heart first
me or him?
I'm losing, I'm falling behind
love is a game of how many
can you lead victim
to your locked up heart
but open lips
so free willed, so meaningless
each kiss to you
is nothing more
than brushing skin
each kiss to me
is a painful sin
like letting myself in
to Hell's open door
it is like opening the walls of my heart
making myself your willing victim
allowing you to make your way
and tear out all my vital veins
so that I feel nothing
nothing but you
inside of my heart, blood and being
but that's nothing new
your nonchalant ways
are driving me insane with
sadness, happiness and jealousy
the rage and fire of you being
the only thing that occupies
my mind and my heart
and I will tell you just one more thing
I wish I was inside of you too
They danced on the steps
Of the first methodist church,
Not caring who watched or
How their young feet hurt.
When the clouds rolled over
The sun and the wind ceased
To be breathing, they
Stopped their tom foolery and
Accepted that life sometimes is still.
They walked to the water.
There they saw the ships bound
Across the waves like rabbits
Or horses through golden tinted field.
They were scared for the sailor's,
The sailor's never knowing they
Were thinking of them at all.
After the water, leaving the sailor's
On their waves, they wandered to
The fishermen's docks, where
Crooked poles and wavering hulls
Stood erect and set pointed to the sun.
These were the men of patience
And respect, feeling death and life
Around them in dualistic harmony.
Because they held no lure or pole,
They watched the masters work as
Masters usually do. The sun trickled
Through thin white cloud and the
Wind pushed the twos hair over brow.
The masters were discontent
In their catch and their day. Their frowns
Showed their failure and they wished
That the cold winter weather
Would soon pass them and go away.
The two thinking of two different things,
Then conversed on where they should
Go to next. One said the tower, where she
Had never been before, and the other said
The park, where he had been many times.
Their differences were their love and
Their love was what kept them entwined.
Just then, in the heat of silent argument, a
Master pulled up hard on his bamboo like rod.
"A catch," the man screamed in his native tongue,
"I've got a catch here! Won't you see! Won't you see!"
The two scurried over to where the master
Stood, their eyes peeled to the end of his line. And
As the man reeled and reeled and reeled, he
Soon did reveal a battered tin can and a weathered old boot.
The master plopped the two on the crooked
Wooden dock, cursing to the God in his mind.
The two picked up the boot and the can and said,
"Thank you" and ran up the salty concrete strand.
As they reached their bus stop, they realized
What they'd done and started to laugh at all
Of their fun. The two giggled and cackled,
Screamed and roared, until the two could no longer
Take anymore. After a minute or two, the sky
Straightened out, turning full blue, so the birds
In the sky who soared and cooed, showed they
Really had no rules they were forced to uphold.
The two agreed for home. When their
Bus appeared, they both felt the same, seeing that
Living together was a much better game.
Tomorrow would be another start, just like
Today was another part of a puzzle never
To be finished, only taken to heart.
Doors slide open, you walk out in slow motion.
Just another day,
Trying to find a way
To make the pain subside
But you're broken inside
Trying to find a place to hide, but no need.
You're invisible. In your mind, you live life unseen.
Why does it hurt?
Why does it feel as if your shirt's too tight at the collar?
Struggling to breath.
Struggling to leave.
This space inside your heart.
Trying to forget. Undecided. Confused. Lost. Regret?
People fly by, trying to get by
Pushing their way through
Pushing right past you
Right by you
Right through you.
Fighting back to hold those tears
Trying not to show those fears.
Why? How? Does it have to be this way?
Why is there nothing left to say?
These thoughts float around in your mind and
Your life becomes simply... Grey.
Make a left around the corner,
Brush your hair aside,
Now you can't hide
Maybe it's time to start over...
Maybe it's time to let go...
Not everyone is angry
Not everyone is horrible
Not everyone is mean.
While you tried to go unseen, I saw you.
I saw you.
I felt what you were, heard what you thought, tasted what you craved
You're beauty so rare, so unique, so breath-taking, so mind-boggling, so heart-wrenching.
Did you think the world is blind?
Do you think for one second that you can stay out of my mind?! What mind..?
I lost that when I saw you.
And with my mind, my heart went too.
And crazy dreams I started chasing...
How did you expect to go unnoticed, when you're just so damn amazing?
Like black on white.
Like dark on light.
With strength and might you snatched my heart
Without realization of the cost.
Could it be that you're just a part of my imagination
Or is this just my hopes flying too high?
It can't be, not I. This isn't like me.
Why can't I see anyone but you?
You carry on through life
People pushing past you, flying by
And you think you're unnoticed.
Well how can this be?
Because the thing YOU didn't notice
Is that the one going unnoticed
Just so happens to be me.
Nothing felt so surreal as when he called me perfect
Insecurities were lifeless within me
Floating along on a breeze I
danced among the clouds; caught up
Nothing mattered except when he called me baby
I was his and he was mine
In my mind there was no space in-between
Nothing was more erotic than when
he slid his arms around my waist
face in my neck, chills down my spine
hands shivering, short breaths
Nothing was more incredible than that....
Nothing was more upsetting than when he was upset
with me especially
Nothing hurt worse than the names
Than the disappointment
Than the expectations
Nothing was harder than the court orders
Than the shelters
Than the sleepless nights
Nothing was longer than the drive out of state
Than parenting single
Than the not knowing
Nothing stabs like a tear soaked pillow
or a broken heart
Nothing makes me feel more like a fool
Than wanting him back
Than missing his laugh
His smile, his charms
Call me crazy