Breathe in the smoke
Let it burn your throat
Lungs are already black
Let it rot from the inside out
Wasting away to nothing but cracks
They won't understand your pain
Just smoke it all away
Breaking your heart with addiction
A want a need that kills slowly
Breathe it in die some more
This is what you were looking for
A way to forget a way to be numb
The taste the smell the chemicals
The words cemented in my throat
That I want to scream at you nearly everyday
Everything I've always wanted to say
But I can’t because…
It's like trying to walk with nowhere to stand
Knowing you don't understand
You act like I’m from some other planet
That my words don’t translate through
Like everything I say isn't a concept to you
Yet your a part of it too
and I just can’t explain anymore
these wounds are growing too sore
so I try to shut up
speak less and less
because I can’t bear another word that you can’t seem to process
and you’d think I’d learn
Just act like we have no problems… as long as they only affect me
you know… all the ones you pretend not to see
pretend my heart isn't dying
and I don’t care
but this just isn't fair
I’m tired of pretending
And I don’t know how much longer I can. I’m not this strong
To keep standing here acting like you’re not doing anything wrong
And you act like it’s a game
And I just don’t feel I could ever win
I’m sorry but I’m done in
And I just want to speak my mind
Without your manipulative ways
Telling me I’m wrong no matter what I say
So here it is
You refused to even try to understand
And I can’t keep trying to withstand
the first time we spoke alone,
in an empty voice,
'die liebenden tot sind.'
and when i didn't acknowledge it,
you said it again
till i kicked you and snapped 'i don't speak german you fuck.'
that wasn't my line.
i was supposed to tell you they were dead from birth,
or something equally poetic.
i was supposed to be a walking paragon of
i was supposed to be the love interest
in the tragic love story of your life,
you told me
we would bring each other down.
you told me the world was cold
and we would drown in frozen lakes together,
when hypothermia turns to terminal burrowing,
we could burrow within each other.
you told me i would kill you.
i spent 5 hours in the shower boiling off my skin.
you and i
will not sink in tandem, you and i will not
fall apart in unison,
i am not your personal suicide pill.
i am not your romantic,
in helpless self-destruction,
you're talking like we'll die tomorrow but i have plans to live a while yet,
if you jump from lover's leap
then you will fall alone.
i think you think
i love you.
i think you think i value
more than the voice of my thoughts.
it is december and the sun is too bright
to look anywhere
but your feet.
it is december and you're waxing poetic
about the boy who broke his neck
falling in the forest at night.
you look me in the eyes like you're trying
to crawl through my cornea.
you make eye contact an act of violence.
dream about me?]
you're trying to be poetic.
i don't tell you about when i dreamed
you snapped your neck
while we walked in the forest,
and i left quickly,
lived peaceful and alone.
i don't tell you about when i dreamed you moved on,
or that reoccurring dream where you spread my legs so far,
they snap out of the sockets.
i tell you i don't dream.
i tell you i don't sleep.
i tell you
i wear boxing gloves to church
but jesus never shows, and really,
i shoulda known he'd run from this fight too.
i tell you
i wear boxing gloves to bed but i just end up
chewing on the laces,
boxer's fractures never visited me.
bar room fractures on the nightstand.
[i dream about you,]
and i take another hit.
you've been in my air for six months.
under my skin for five,
and it's been three months
since you stitched our veins together.
i fall asleep wearing your scarf
and dream of garrotes that smell like you,
dream of strangulation
and bruises on my throat.
i don't love you like a motive.
you don't love me like a person.
you told me i had a clean heart,
you told me i was an innocent soul,
you told me you would corrupt me, don't
your touch doesn't have the power
to make me sick.
only i can do that to myself.
i'm not a virginal sacrificial saint
for you to build altars to.
lets see if we can cut our hearts out with our fingernails.
i bet that they'll look just the same:
bloody and red.
the same size as our clenched fists,
guess it's not your fault
you never learned the difference between the two,
you keep trying to fight with aorta and arteries
while my knuckles bruise your gut.
i taped my hands and i'll tape yours too.
this will be a fair fight-
don't break your wrist
when you break my nose.
i'll teach you i'm more solid than a saint.
i'll teach you i am bile and spit and piss.
i'll teach you to love me human
or not at all.
die liebenden sind nicht tot ist.
die liebenden sind auf einen kampf vorbereitung.
I find it quite amazing,
that you don't realise how my lips tingle and my heart swells
when you make me,
Just a friendly little peck, eh?
You could be kissing your Aunt Mildred,
your lips remain so dead
and your stomach so still.
I'll give you one of my butterflies,
if you want it.
The brushes against my back,
the brush strokes that paint sparks along my skin,
leave your hands lifeless.
They resuscitate me.
When you say you 'love me',
I don't think you understand
how many times I've imagined you whispering those words,
in a thousand different places,
in a thousand different situations,
in a thousand different ways.
They float through the air,
stopping time and creating pixie dust,
before falling into my ears,
forcing tremors throughout my once stable foundations.
you could be asking somebody to pass the salt,
your voice is so flat.
So why can I not stop fizzing?
If you grow old and look around
and find yourself alone,
Don't cry about how nobody ever wanted you,
about how nobody ever needed you
or loved you till it hurt,
hurt so bad they almost hated you.
Because they did.
Every single word you try to figure it out,
You think they are quite difficult code that you need to settle them,
Do you try to complete them by using your kindness of heart?
You just know nothing,
You think it was just a simple word,
You won't find out the meaning,
Because you know nothing.
I have an idea that I am excited about but I need about six or so more poets to write it with. I will write a couple lines to give you an idea and if you like it, message me and I will tell you the title and the plan for it. It should be glorious compadres!
I hear the stakes sizzle on high, I'm tied to the lies that wrap around my mind
A desolate place, my heart is. Who dares to reside will find that hope is soon left behind
On her feet
sweat trickled down from her forehead,
to her neck,
down her bosom.
The sweat line made a stop at her belly button
and continued after it filled her tiny button.
Down it continued,
till it got to her under-wear
that absorbed it all.
She was all alone in the heart of the thick forest,
wanting to get un-lost and needing some human company.
She stopped to get some air.
The forest had its usual features, tall trees, short trees, crawling plants and green things alike.
The night clouds wasnt putting on its pendant, the moon.
The trees waved,
the wind whistled quietly,
the frogs croaked
and the owls hooted.
It happened in that order
for a while.
Her legs, unstable
her eyes, hot and wide open
Her breath, in quick bursts
and her chest rising and falling in fear.
The night, pregnant with horror, death and evil
Soon all that made sounds ceased
Her heart paused for three seconds.
Then, she heard a roar
a deep, rich and mature roar.
She wanted to run
but her legs would not obey
She wanted to scream for help
but her throat was stuffed and numb.
The creature sensed her body heat
and followed the trail, running.
Its foot steps caused the ground to shake.
It found her
Eyeball to eyeball,
she and the creature.
Death was a few seconds away.
Hot urine escaped her buttocks
as she stood face to face with this monster
As she tried to summon courage to fight for her life,
the creature swallowed her quick
Her death was painless.
Courage is quite expensive to gather and retain.
Yes, think back and put yourself in your mother shoes.
Yes, of both parents, she's the best advocate.
And the main one to say, of all the things I do for you.
And this, is how you treat me?
Just wait, until you have your own
Yes, think back.
Truly think back about ALL the things your mom has done for you.
When you cry?
Who the comforter of calm expression.
When you scrape your knee?
Who's the nurse trying to heal you.
Truly, when it comes to their child there's nothing our mom won't do.
They deserving of all the love.
They deserving of so much more.
To those that have had bad experiences with their mother.
Remind yourself that within your heart you still love them.
There's a highly good chance they taught you read more.
They truly support the kids more.
Dad, brags a little too.
But not the way mothers do.
Who has photos to embarrass you as a child?
Quickly to pull them out and show them around.
Yes, it's mom.
We hear ministers preach about Jesus.
And as much as he has the quality of God.
He also has the personality of his mother Mary.
Yes, think back.
Of the sweet and nice lady that loves to bring up marriage
Welcome other children's with an opening HEART.
Yes, it's mom.
The first lady we will ever love.
You are my air, my sun, my moon, my stars, my life.
You’re in the breeze, the ocean, the trees and the sidewalks.
You take each breath for me and every drop of blood coursing through my veins is yours.
You fill up every second, minute, hour and day.
You haunt my dreams, nightmares and every waking moment.
Your voice is in every love song I hear.
You live in every tear that rolls down my cheeks because they’re all for you.
You place every blade to my skin because it’s the only way you’ll know you’re beautiful.
You’ve made my life wonderfully and tragically lovely.
You are every bit of me and when I turn to dust I shall live inside your heart.
You saved me and you will be the death of me.
This girl I know
She's afraid to love
And to be loved
But she can't be alone
She cries into her pillow
Wishing some one
Would love her
She craves what she fears most
I see this girl every day
Fall out of bed
Alive but not living like she could be
Because of past trial and errors
Her heart is torn up
And shriveled dry
Like a desert before the sky cries
And she looks at this boy
With a love and passion
Stronger than fear
She just wants to love
And be loved
She desperately clings to the hope
That her demons will fly away
She wants him to water her heart
Clear out the tumble weeds
And make permanent residence
Where it matters most
And this girl stares back at me
With deep gray blue eyes
And her freckles litter her face
The girls lips full and round
The girl tells me I am pretty too
Even though I know I'm not
Because reflections are deceiving
Not even I can comfort myself