Even though we're worlds apart
Even though I think you're too crazy
I still find myself smiling at you on the telly
Laughing your heart out over the silliest things

I never know what colour your hair nor nails will be
The tight slacks and nose-ring you love so much
I would certainly curl my lips and pull a frown  
When I Contrast those with my shirt and tie

Your love for life just shines through
One look at you and the world's a nicer place
It's people like you who make others smile
That deserve to be happy contented and blessed

What I see is what you show the world
I don't know what goes on behind the lights
I don't know how you are when you're alone
I don't know if you ever carry a surly look

I sometimes think it would be nice to see you
Without the leggings, the painted nails, the crazy hair
But then I also think I don't want to
So I can always smile when I see you :)

9 cigarettes,
9 hours.
And this love dies with my last pack.
For I cannot let,
The venomous things in life,
Take mine.
I will be poisoned no longer.
For this time...
Mind outsmarts,
The heart.

Things have taken a turn and there is salt in my wounds
I am all teeth;
As I listen to a chorus of cicadas sing along with the wind
I am young and invincible with nothing to lose
I smell the rain coming this afternoon
A wood dock in front of the pond
I stand barefoot on
I remember this pond
When two otters got in it
And Ate all the blue gill

I have pin marks in my flesh
Teeth marks on my heart
Claw marks in the small of my back
I cannot reach them
When they ache

I wished to be a Firstborn
To live with the river
And stand  barefoot
At the door of my hut
I watch the sun come up
The jungle breathing hot breath around me

I will hunt as the old ones hunted
Taking on the form of the Panther or the Spider
I learned patience
Waiting for my web to vibrate
Waiting for the rain to stop
I grew quick learning the paths through the trees
The world is a sea of sight and smell and sound

I was a great fish
Living in a rock shelf
Where small bugs would land
But I feared leaving the safety of the walls
Because I once bit a hook

I had eaten with my sons
And drank with my sons
I fell to sleep
Dreaming of youth

I watched her bathing in the river for a while
Swimming in the dark water
Suddenly I am wrestling with the tale of a great viper
Its fangs bared-hissing and scales pitch black
She sees me watching her bath from the bank
She  calls me a coward
The serpent laughs
You are weak
Then the snake changed
And she stands nude before me
Speaking:
You will die when the river floods next
And your sons will put your body
In my belly

She kept me warm

so i gave her my heat

and she re-gifted it

and left

and i was cold.

He tucks me in

with sweet words

that evoke crinkled eyes

and upturned corners

and someone will be lucky

to be his love

someday

She knows the sound

my tears make as they fall

through the ground

because hers have fallen the same

and she knows the taste of pain

when a heart breaks this way

because hers was broken the same

so she indulges me

and loves me

and carries me through the day

and i don’t tell her everything

but she feels my misery

She caught the choke

around my throat when

i didn’t know how to live

and she picked me up

and told me to walk

gave what she had to give.

I’m not fixed,

but I’m still alive,

and she is responsible for that.

He validates me

when i feel i must be crazy

and worthless

he tells me i’m not

without any prompt

and says he’ll always be

Big Brother to me

She sticks around

even though I’m obviously crazy.

She’s already seen me go through my worst.

She just listens and takes it in

and we go for a walk

and another day passes

while she is my friend

"Bye", I said.
Over the phone, which was foolish.
You were entitled to more than that.
It was foolish to dwell on the inevitability of last days together.
For fifteen months I waited and doubted.  
A beautiful hummingbird on my finger.
You never flew off.
Even when coldly advised you to do so.
Even when I had little to feed you.
Mesmerized by you, you delicacy.
But damn it all, it's ended.
I shook you off my finger and stuck up the other.
Tonight we bed down miles apart.
Lonely alone, and lonely in company.
And our love burned, but stung me sorely.
A man never repaired and prepared.
Old love scars that didn't heal.
Always frightened and delirious.
Letting my wells run dry.
So much of me hopes you call for me in the morning.  
And come despite my cold heart and shoulder.
Reject my last word, my deadly three letters.
Persist as I resist.
Stopping only when we find our wings woven and our nest warm.

If I was given a day
  By god
  Or whatever force there may be
It would be with you
In an empty room
  and you would speak to me
I would ask no questions
Utter no words
Invisible buttons would be connecting my lips

You would speak of it all
What makes you laugh
Favorite memories
Why you're so shy
  your weak spots

If you're selfish
what side of the bed you like
hot or cold  
sweet or sour
Marvel or DC

I would watch
knuckles cracking
touseling of thick hair
squinty giggles

My heart would grow immensely
With every
   Secret.  Hobby.  Weakness.  Preference.

watching your lips move
and your face morph
With every emotion

my heart would reach to you in sorrows
and leap at triumphs

Butterflies would become a typical occurrence
a smile tattooed on my face

that's all I desire
You
  I
voluntarily trapped in a room
shedding our skin
specifically yours

in no way is that strange
In fact   it's beautiful

It all began as an observation,
a mere innocent study,
to watch people in cars,
from cars.

First, the tired workers,
who glared and stared in the road in front,
who slumped in their seats,
who held the steering wheels in a glum manner,
who had dark circles in their eyes,
who had cans of beers at the back seat,
tired, weary, drained, exhausted,spent.

The cheeky children,
who yelled at their siblings,
who wrestled with siblings,
who sat listening to lectures,
who texted with their phones,
who went tippy tappy with their laptops,
who ignored the world; reading,
innocent, busy adolescents.

Of course, there are mothers,
who glance at their sleepy children every few minutes,
who smile at their babies dotingly,
who gave loud lectures to kids,
who smoked cigars,
who was on the phone,o was just driving ahead,
loving, fussy, unleisured.

There were the out-going,
who head-banged furiously to booming music,
who sang aloud to radio,
who chatted enthusiasticly with passengers,
who smiled the whole way through the journey,
who stuck their hands out to feel the wind,
who had nothing to worry about,
free, wonderful, liberated, loose.

Also, some were fretful,
who needed to visit hospitals,
who had their heart broken,
who got rejected at interviews,
who lost someone,
who is obviously in anxiety, who were simply drunk,
worrysome, tired, sad.

And then there's me,
who had nothing better to do,
than to watch and observe,
and felt many things should be changed,
eccentric, weird.

On the Outside Looking In

How sad it is when brave heart meets mad assassin!
On day lit street,
How cruel it is,
When daylight spreads her stunning wrap as shroud,
Young fellow,
Tragic life lost!
Appalling,
Barbaric bastards,
Sin incarnate!
Let hell have no mercy on their vile souls,
Look inside,
Analyse,
Fire fed incubus,
Increment,
Pure disgust,
Realise,
Mass mess,
Damage done,
Community relations busted,
As two rampaged alone,
Dancing with devils,
Horrendous!
Religion whirls in chaos,
Paradise lost,
Solution zero, not grounded,
Tragic,
Agendas confused,
Misunderstood,
Hellish cost!
Crucify others with tongue alone,
Here I sit and ask that all this evil ends,
I know that it's impossible to have a world of friends!

By ladylivvi1

© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)

my heart is broken!
i wish i could scream this for everyone to hear at the top of my lungs
all that comes out is a breath of a whisper as i lay here curled up like an unborn child
but you have broken me, it is difficult for one to scream after being broken.

But it's as if you’re sucked into the page on which you sit so precariously. You realize his eyes have become weird again, throbbing to the beat of your love. He looks away, leaning back on his hands, arms taught. And you sit as if alone, watching him tear a piece off your history and craft a paper airplane from your devotion, fingers gently folding and creasing, lovingly shaping, his head turning, focusing, admiring. And when he is satisfied, he throws it with a flick of his pale wrist. It sails beautifully through the air, buoyed by affection and adoration, leaping through the gusts with pride. You reach out a hand willing it to come to you, wanting something so tender for yourself, for your gasping heart. But as you lean in, poised with glory, a thief melts from a burning tree, morphs from the shadows, an ugly, beaten creature, scaly and peeling. It slinks foreword catching the plane in its mottled claws, pinching it slightly as your lover lets out a small gasp, eyes widening. The creature places it inside the steel bars over its heart and suddenly the thing changes and becomes lovely, blooming and whole, an infection of grace and slender frame. Fragrance floats back to you as you cower and your lover looks at the lovely figure descending upon him and you scream and scream, seizing and foaming, something mad, unwanted, hidden from sight. But he is no more than smoke; naked body drooling, jagged blades protruding from his back; and where his heart should have been, there are only iron bars. He turns and howls, an alien sound, unreal, lips curling back, twisting and forcing his screeching notes into your chest smothering your mind. But finally you have had enough; finally you understand, finally you find strength to pull apart the stitching and release yourself and you fall.