When I think of you, I think of a beautiful girl that doesn't know her abilities.
When I talk to you I can't help but to keep a smile on my face.
Even though you are away, away from me
I feel like you are as close as can be.
This thing between us will truly never end
Even though we know we can only remain friends.
I love you with all my heart I never want to loose you,
If I could be with anyone in the world I would choose you.
The past is a funny thing, the way it comes back unexpected.
Reminding you of who you lost, what you lost, and all you've protected.
I spent the last couple of years throwing it all away, in hope that it would bring a better day.
Old love, old faces, new love, new places.
Hateful foes and friends that never made it to the end.
It all comes together, but who knew such things would only cause me to get hurt.
Today I am a happy girl, yet I still live in this hateful world.
The pain is still present in my torn heart.
It comes back every now and then just to tear me apart.
The feeling burns on the very inside.
This is when the good and the bad finally collide.
my head felt cavernous
though now I doubt
that it's truly there
I grasp for what is happening
but my soul is bleeding out
I could forget to breathe
forget to let my heart beat
forget what language even means
before I could ever
Why do people get so mad when I tell them I want to die.
We all end up dying.
But it so happens that I'd rather go sooner than later.
I'd rather rot now than rot later.
The pain triggers my heart.
Like an untreated wound.
I thought we had so much spark
Until you left me right there in the dark.
Everyone had so much to say.
Like why did I lose my virginity so young.
I lost two of the most important things to me.
My virginity and the boy who took it.
Five months later I lost my baby.
I sat eye to eye with a counselor who told me everything was going to be just fine.
It never was and in my heart I truly believed it would never be fine.
So I stopped going and I stopped writing.
Instead I made bracelets out of rope hoping it would hide the scars on my wrist that I would soon create.
Then I remembered how abusive my father was and how many scars he left.
So I began to hate scars.
The pain was tearing me apart so I wrote a couple of poems.
The pain got worse and my thoughts got radical.
I always went to the bathroom every time I had a suicide thought.
I would cry my eyes out and look in the mirror and wonder how did I become so broken and dumb.
I never told my parents about this because I knew they would worry.
I didn't want them to think I was a joke.
A sick messed up joke.
I wanted to take my life.
Damn, let me just say it.
I wanted to commit suicide.
I thought of it as picking every petal of every flower in this world.
I came to the conclusion that flowers are beautiful.
And so am I.
Wait, so is my life.
So I even though I still have these thoughts.
Im strong enough.
Im stronger than a
im stronger than death.
I still shed a tear every once in a while
Most things still remind me of you
Some of the silly faces you'd make have rubbed off on me
I can't listen to your favorite song without breaking down
I enclosed the physical memories in a box in my closet
Though you still cross my mind every night
Some of the memories make me smile
I'm grateful to have enjoyed them with you
Others make me weep
Like the time you opened your heart and let me in
Most days I miss you
But I've learned what it means to keep going
I am moving on
To the scientist
the heart is an organ
necessary to carry on living
and when it breaks
the scientist fixes it
with medicine and stitches
and the scientist knows
that once the heart is fixed
you can just keep on living
the same as before
To the artist
the heart is a masterpiece
necessary to carry on loving
and when it breaks
the artist fixes it
with music and poems
but the artist knows
that even though the heart is fixed
you can never just keep on loving
the same as before
I’m guessing you’re fast asleep right now
In your own bed that I’ve missed so terribly
And I bet you haven’t even thought of me
Even though I am laying here dreaming unbearably
Because when I close my eyes it’s like you’re here
I can feel the way you pulled me closer at night
The lightness of your head lying next to mine
A classic story just not so black and white
I’m laying here, swearing I can hear you breathe
Feel your hand the way it always found mine
A strength I knew you had but had never seen
And I can’t erase the way your eyes would shine
When you looked into my core I knew you knew
I had fallen in love since you'd first walked in the room
I wonder if you knew way back then about my heart
And how quickly a love like this would take to consume
With your words that made me fly somehow.
But hidden within ur innerself its always been your sweetest lie.
Talking bout your dreams devouring me like ashes twisted and slowly disappearing.
The truth acts like a spirited-away. Letting it fly back to its inside.
There's this always inside of you. Something hidden and somethng blocked. Stopping you from outpouring what's inside.
Mind and heart was in despair. They were always contrary but hearing all! With your honesty, i know there is all the droppin of everythng. All numb but eyes were all blown. I cant stop it.
But all a could say. Everythng was fragile.
Revenge has always been part of the human soul. not in its anatomy form or any interior or exterior aspects.
But functioning with its own parts.
Its the anger! Where it all starts. Jealousy and hurt were the main stream and always end to suffering.
Thats all for love. We'd all be needing for us to feel even.
Just a pinch of happiness just to get fair for someone that we love but did somethng wrong within us breaking us. Attacking every tiny vessels which in the end, Turning us into an evil creature.
It was a buss - telling me it was that simple thing. Not to make it more bigger. But lets end this up.
Still it hurts,... Still. Its another woman. Such senstivity arising.
I know my time has come
Take me now
In your arms so comforting
For after everyone has left me
You are always the one still waiting
There was a young girl
who wept over flowers
She wailed for the daisies
And groaned for the roses
She warned them,
"Oh dear things,
why are you so lovely?
Loveliness will kill you,
the people will desire you.
They will fight for you,
they will pick you."
She watched with a sorrowful heart
As her mother picked the daisies
With a snap-
The lifeline was destroyed
And the daisies ceased to be what the young girl
She watched with flooded eyes
As her mother harvested roses
With a quick cut-
The stems were snapped
And the roses were no longer what the mother
And so springtime was the young girl's private hell