you make me want to
punch you in the face.
You ignorant diluted shovanist
How dare you
I gave you everything
What have you given up?
Not a tear.
Not your single stability.
You sit on your high throne
It almost seems
At the price of
For I see little.
I am starved of
I blame your mother
She is your darkness
She who starved you of
She planted the seed
In my sex.
And so I pay.
I take the slashing
self dignity and respect
I wade through
Day by day
The debris of his
I have a boat
So I shall try
Back and forth
With my oars
As the icebergs
I am fighting
to prove myself better
I am a captain
Of my little boat
I will continue
In my little boat
This place is
Can you see it
I won't give up
Not on you my love
Am a captain
And you are
perhaps skin, also, yawns to horizon,
delicate like surface tension,
fetal like parenthesis.
the moonrise is woven from short-staple cotton
and thus yellows, accordingly.
enclosed: the face of disappointment is actually a series of small balloon explosions;
girl heart, eight inches wide,
lighter than atomic hydrogen.
“his eye was like a bloody opal
and his lips tasted like black suns, citrus…”
human absurdity comes in nitrogen and phosphorous:
a dog, a horse, a rat.
the sheets were coarse and she woke with a rash.
So accustomed to your kisses
Being a semicolon followed by an an asterisk
You said you cant wait
To cuddle & kiss
I'm still a little on edge
About putting my heart at risk
But mostly I don't worry
I trust you.
5\22\13 11:37 p.m.
Fuck these nights.
Fuck these feelings of anger, abandonment, fear, and jealousy--
but mostly anger.
Fuck the way I know I'm not going to like what I find
but keep looking anyway.
Fuck these memories that follow me around to this day
and keep finding ways to reinvent themselves.
Fuck the way I torture myself like this
over and over again.
Fuck that fluttering in my heart that could be mistaken for love
if I weren't so sure it's hatred.
Fuck you for making me so fucking weak
by giving me the world and then taking it away, little by little.
Fuck you for making me so fucking dependent
that I can't even go to sleep without a perfect goodnight.
Yeah, fuck you.
You're heavy liquor
I'm nothing but a chaser
I'm catching you like rain drops
But when you are inside me,
You are hail
I feel the sharp sting of your words
They roar like thunder behind your teeth
Deep inside my chest you anchored a year-old
"I love you" & I can't seem to spit it out
It hangs over me...
You hang over me
Like the bee that sensed the flower
It was easy for you to take what you needed
And now there's less of me
I've spent months building storm shelters
to escape the abrupt reality of you
But you've torn through every one
You shatter steel walls like thin glass
You pull me in and I brace for impact
My heart floats and falls in your flood
You push my hair out of my face
And I know this isn't where I should be tonight
But you've knocked down trees on every street
That leads to my sanity so I let them in again...
Your butterflies with spikes hidden in their wings
As long as there are teenagers extant,
Anomie and alienation of an unripened generation
Shall spill upon this site in cliched cries,
Dabbling with threats of pills and lies,
The endless pain felt gives one fright.
To this old soul who wonders silently,
Will these thousands of pained children
Make it through to their next incarnation
So much angst, so much anger,
I wonder if God created poetry
To salve their wounds.
Their unknown futures loom,
But all I read is hurt and doom.
You shall survive, children.
Awful poetry, some good, you will write.
But write and write till your heart be calmed,
For even ancient kings felt the anguish of the soul,
And we profit even today by King David's psalms.
This wizened fool has his hands full,
Mouths to feed, bread to earn and bake,
As midnight is almost nigh,
He rests prone and adds a verse to an old poem
Long ago scribbled down, he grimace-smiles,
Realizing there is little difference tween him and the
Sad Eyed Teenagers of the Lowland.
I am independent and sentient
and patience has never been my virtue
expectations only lead me to hurt you
because with a broken heart
my hairs raise
my eyes ablaze
and my edges sharp
so as you attempt
to clean up your mess
you cut your
on the jagged shape
of my e m p t i n e s s
I chase the sun set
and race the moon rise.
I battle with my mind
and I argue with my heart.
I love from my soul
and distinguish from my eyes.
I have a brain that will not listen
and I have a body that doesn't function.
I smile at the stars
and laugh at the clouds.
I search for a purpose
and I can stop right now.
The moon's pale face regards the nighttime skies
As the stars pass by on their ancient quest.
Silent shadows glide 'cross the ground
From clouds that move and make no sound.
Nighttime is when her spirit will rise
To ever wander and never know rest.
Eileen was the name of the red-haired girl
Who lived in the castle near the sea.
It was the only home she'd ever known,
This ancestral fortress made of stone.
It was a simple and tranquil world,
The only place she wanted to be.
The castle was home for ages long past
For her father, his father, and beyond.
Their memory lived within the grey-stoned walls,
Their deeds were remembered in each of the halls.
The castle was safe; its walls held fast.
Yet its fate lay within a wizard's wand.
Galyn was a wizard of dark renown,
Winding his way from times of ancient yore.
Great was the power at his command;
Deep was the knowledge he kept at hand.
Few were the secrets he had not found,
As he labored at his art behind a locked door.
Standing on a tower's balcony on a grey, windy day
Eileen could feel the sea's breath on her skin.
Galyn would watch her standing there,
The wind playing and dancing with her hair.
Though for ages he walked a solitary way
The sight caused a stirring deep within.
From ancient ages he searched in shadows dark
Seeking answers in places unseen and unknown.
Yet this power was one never felt before,
Twisting his emotions and piercing him to his core.
It ignited within him a powerful spark,
A burning desire to make her his own.
Eileen never e'en thought, not once in her life
That she could hold sway over a wizard's heart.
Her youthful innocence knew naught of such a thing.
She dreamt of knights slaying dragons, or even of marrying a king.
She could not fathom Galyn wanting her for a wife
Be it through trickery, treachery, guile, or blackest art.
This is a work in progress.
my anxiety’s been getting worse lately
making me dread sad people and being called baby
But hey, when you're lonely you’ll take what you get
And worrying about holding hands isn't much of a threat
of course, you get worried going a different way to school
like every little thing you do must follow certain rules
When you need to talk to strangers your pulse speeds
And bussing down to movies makes you weak in the knees
You can't let people know and you can't let it show
You need to ask for the check even though
Speeds up, your muscles contract
And you find it hard to breathe and the waitress passes by
And you try to get her attention but she's obviously busy with other customers
Your friends are looking at you weird but you smile
Awkwardly wave your hands until she notices and you're beet red in the face
You laugh it off and pay your bill and get the fuck out of there
And nobody asks why you're so flustered but
you can feel their gazes in the flush on the back of your neck
And you feel it the rest of the way home
I don't know what I would do without caution, or
looking both ways when crossing an empty street, or
Checking my phone every five minutes to see if they're getting home alright
Because it's the only way I know how to care