And longing to return
-Reality slaps with steel hands
Grasping, he took pretty scented flowers
shaped by sultry red wine,
beside a platter splayed
of charcoal knit and stockings,
sheer with three birdlike buttons and
fuck-me boots that slipped across
his shine-less finger.
Whispering weatherboard words
in her ear, before biting her throat
with a mouth that knew violent
seduction, she offers her heart
in her cupped hands
and between her lucid thighs.
He accepts, tucking it deep
within his pocket
before flying over violet seas,
beneath rose sky, returning
to a deluge of small embraces,
forgetting the depth of his corduroy,
parading his muscle
around a suburban dream.
Copyright ©2013 Le Chat Noir. All rights reserved.
I always pictured this one girl
I drew her out to have this gentle twirl
She would have long brown hair
Running down her back, so fair
She would have pale white skin
One hundred and one hair pins
She would wear the prettiest yellow dress
And she would be perfect for me
But she would tease you with what you could only see
She whispered funny things in your ear
You’re the only one who could hear
While we spend these times in your car
Everything parked and night afar
She would have these lovely curls
Wearing these hidden white pearls
She was what I could only imagine
The thought of her was my one true passion
We would run around with these engaged hands
And land at the beach into these old sands
You said to me, “Stop thinking of me, silly”
I never known what she meant
Until it came to me sent
She kneeled next to me
Gave me this long lasting sad smile with her perfect green eyes
Giving me these last sighs
“You’ll be happy one day, just wait a little longer”
I never had to make such a long ponder
My yellow dress girl vanished from me
Leaving me all alone with this open sea
Those last words took a great toll
Feeling like I was falling down this hole
All my love is genuine
Just love for me is in this pen
I write all these love poems
Hundreds of words for you my dear
I never meant to be so unclear
It’s true I lost you when I needed you the most
Creating these thoughts to stay as my mind host
Distracting these retired emotions
Setting these feelings with inventive motions
Erasing that flower dancing yellow dress
I will not be your tossed away mess
I've always cared for you my sweetheart
I’m just sorry that I broke your gentle heart
This is for a girl.
I think of you often.
When I'm driving
or right before bed.
I think of the way things ended..
how we seemed perfect only weeks before,
and then in a flash,
you were taken from me.
I don't think I've ever cried so much
as I did that night.
I couldn't even go to school the next day.
The truth is,
I miss you.
I miss how you were the one
who was always there for me.
You never left,
even when I came crying to you,
even when I ignored you.
I miss the way you push me,
as messed up as that seems.
How we'd spend hours together,
and by the end,
I'd be hunched over;
exhausted and sweating.
How you'd bruise me and make me bleed.
But I craved to touch you,
and feel you in my hands.
I'll never forget every lesson you taught me,
good and bad.
And even though I see you sometimes,
on a Saturday night..
I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy
when you're with other girls.
You have influenced my life
and will always be part of it.
You will be part of my future.
I will lose you again.
And I don't know if I can take that.
Just know that I'll always love you.
Sitting in this yellow room of yours
Planning our great get away of bores
This sunny spring day shines on us
We are holding each other without a fuss
Practicing our secrets before we’re out
Our childhood means nothing now
We got to please leave, get out of here
Make these promised vows and run my dear
She was crazy for me
I was crazy for her
We were crazy for us to be
Hiding under the blankets of your covers
Hanging onto these cliffs of dovers
Swearing to our solemnly prayers
I’ll play with your long golden hairs
For as long as we are to be near
We’ll hold hands together, looking into this mirror
Then run away from all the unsolved problem
Was I ever supposed to know I was going to feel numb?
I’m so tired of these rests
We are just out on our lasting bests
Fantasies are just busy thoughts
Like writing down lists and dots
Just untrue marks and this ten month lie
I just feel like I could die
The sacrifices of this expression
When should I bring this to mention?
What comes next, what will be best?
Is this right, is this wrong?
I’m so tired, so heavy with thinking
I wonder what we’re doing tonight?
And for every night for the next one hundred years.
short and sweet.
bitter and fast.
i start life anew.
where are you?
i remember the drug.
(black as pain)
my lips were dry.
my hands shook
i will always be right here
love is red.
blood is pain.
tears are blue.
i want you now
my time had come
hold me close
the twice seen sunrise floated above.
My mind is high up somewhere today.
In these clouds maybe, too far for me to reach.
It leaves me dizzy, desirous...
I feel so sleepy.
I crave sleep,
for a deep, still pool of rest,
in the arms of love.
To feel protected and safe.
I want to be guarded like a vast treasure.
Where is my knight, the one where I see my reflection in
his armor, where I see burning eyes and burning hands that
love throughout the night...
Where's someone to always be there?
And I know.
Believe me, I know.
I should look inside myself for these things,
create my own light for this
dark place inside of me.
But I don't want to become The Hermit,
and carry this flickering lantern in the dubious storm of myself,
where there's snow and sleet and
bone shattering winds, forever to wander alone.
I want to find my puzzle piece, my chemical solution.
There must be a cure to this plague of loneliness.
Someone to be the balm that eases the pain
"No more, no more.
You are safe here, with me."
(c) May 21, 2013
I’m the moon
Orbiting around your pull
I’m the humid june
Wrapped around you like wool
I’m the palm
Of God’s trembling hands
I’m a ticking bomb
The Saharan sands
I’m the forever
I said I could never could be
I’m your latest endeavor
As alive as the Dead Sea
I want to spend three weeks
Hidden away in a cabin alone
And I want no one to ask me
Where I'd been or why I'd gone
I want to survive on eternal Words
Instead of my own finite phrases
To cut off hands and gouge out eyes
To know for sure where my heart is
I want to fall asleep before nightfall
So I'm not tempted by the darkness
And wake at the dawn of a new day
Wrapped in rising hope and faithfulness
And I want my life immersed in You
And I want my mind to stay on You
And I want more and more
And more of You
"Lord, I need You
Oh, I need You,
EVERY HOUR I need You!"
an unimaginable light,
the tongue I swallow
and the surge of you is swallowed down
and the white hands come, unfurl
come, little light to the greater whiteness
how I love you, how I have felt your fire
beaming uncontrollably in my ribcage
blossoming and swelling in my throat:
you are a thousand white moonflowers
I have to bite bloody my own lips to keep down.
and to be filled with your white light is
to shudder, like in a lover's embrace,
and you, God, is the name spat out,
a thousand thousand years in the making
and a thousand flowers swallowed down,
and how can I keep your glory closed in
when you wind me into a ball of light?
oh, but I am sick, I could curl up and die,
so strong and so violent is your love
and shivers race and tremble bright
down my spinal cord;
rip out my spinal cord, HaShem
and twist it in a polished white
the beauty of a snake
devouring herhisits own tail.
Adonai, Adonai, light of our life
I swallow your beauty down.