I'm searching for a voice.
It came to me on a breeze,
as tantalizing as Spring in the Summer.

Have you heard a voice?
It told me all about your dream.
It told me all about the King of Summer.

Have you seen a trail?
The path grew grass and I lost my way.
The sun so hot, I evaporate.

The other side looks great.
I feel so heavy I'm about to break.
Floating backwards in the greyest state.

I never went looking,
but still I found peace
in the feel of your knees
pressed into the back of mine,

and I found solace
in your breath dancing
behind my ears.

I found you could make
the greyest of days turn red.

I never tried to fix my world,
but still it seemed to mend
when you curled your frame around mine,
molded your lips to the nape of my neck,

and made things colorful again.

Must I admit: that
being with you was like
pulling out a single
strand of hair, daily.
Look—-
this fleshy white
button ferally crowning
To begin: with the scraping
of my own scalp off
lining brainwashed
finger nails as a reminder
to my heart still beating
upon this earth
so that you may take
the bottom piece to split
my split ends in half
leaving broken off
eyelashes underneath
the talons. Were they your
keepsake to search a shine
when combing foreign
locks? Your reminder
in the strangeness of
other bloodstained
women?

in traveling letters from you I feel that we too
could visit Barcelona, or a far off European museum
filled with righteous Athenian romances layered
with Greek sculptures. In lieu of studying
the curves of their form we’d rather find ourselves
taking in our bodies, yours being far more interesting,
forever, than those all beautiful, ivory, and headless.

When I receive Frank O’ Hara in mornings over coffee
rolling off your tongue and into a black roasted cloud;
I smell even the greyest of overcasts—- our bodies
pressing against solemn and still in some bright yellow
cab wedged between the bustling bikes and buses
of New York City. It is only appropriate because you are
as aesthetically striking as a skyscraper, because your mind
is as vibrant as every neon light guiding me like a
moth straight back into your shape.

When I receive Frank O’ Hara in our first apartment,
may it be ideal or busted, begin with one block of prose
framed against the entrance wall as the eggs cook
contrarily, its yoke the orange color of evening light.
Warm near the ashtrays centered for our guests filtering
to and fro. Small in pacts and lovely like neighborhood flowers.
We’ll press our bellies side by side, the corners of our bed
holding and map Madrid, or even further to Japan, with our
fingers tracing like constellations upon the rest of the empty
spatial plaster. Left that way for only his words and the rest
that is left between us; all that is naked and unspoken.

i believe in a thing called love,

in toxic oxytocin tears and

jagged daggers of emotions

that hit hard and quick and deep

leaving lovers dazed and aroused

on kitchen tiles and sticky dance floors.

i do believe in love, i do,

in blood filled love potions

you put so much of yourself into it

that she just has to love you

she has to, she must,

and she does, she does,

ugly crying but damn,

for you, all for you,

please just hold on

she pleads -

mucus filled tears cascading down her face,

breasts,

thighs,

pooling on the floor,

making the doctors both cringe with disgust and

simultaneously lean forward with interest

swaying in non-existent breeze -

and you die with your first kiss in your fist

and a piebald smile that splinters her inside forever

but i guess that isn't your fault, right?

i do believe in love, i do, i do,

in unfettered devotions

in pimp-that-guy,

the quality relationship improvement show,

because you want to be a lover

but the guy ain't right

so just make him up

and use a real guy as his outside

you love him sanded, smoothed, buffed, painted

with rims and an inexplicable 48 inch lcd screen

you'll officially get hitched but don't cry

divorce is common and either way it doesn't matter

just look pretty and make sure to squint.

i do believe love, i do

i believe in

poisoning yourself for Juliet

rather than taking her pulse

to taking dear John's heart and

jumping on it happily

because you love him sooooo much

but like, the world has conspired against you,

not with guns and bombs and videotape

but with, like, freely made decisions,

peer pressure and jagermeister  

his blood makes pretty patterns on your

milk white thighs and i guess that

he sticks around for the show

oh boy, i believe in love, i do, that

6 and 9 aren't meant to be together

they just fit, that

there's no place for 'pure' in love cos it's all

pain and cum and spit

as for 'star crossed lovers'

the stars are always crossed

else eclipses would be boring and

each lost lover on a course

i do believe in love, i do,

in the sweetheart who lispes

licking earlobes and bottom lip biting

of metal snakes, happy fates

and piscean traits,

exuding high fructose glucose syrup

instead of saliva

so kiss them carefully or you'll

sugar high and sugar low

and sugar crash and burn

with every cosmic turn and

oh, i believe in love, lovers, oh i do, i do,

in the swirls of black and white that

play ying and yang

that kiss and grate and fornicate

forming a pasty grey

declaring that their grey is the

greyest, greatest, gayest grey

i do believe in love, i do,

bridezilla has destroyed new york in the

quest for the perfect dress as

otherwise her,

sorry,

their,

day will be ruined

milan and paris are shaking in their loius vuittons

praying they will be passed over

oh anna wintour,

just one more working day

please let the cake be next on it's list,

deliver us, oh lagerfeld, from

polyester blend shrouds in hideous off white,

amen.

but yeah,

i do believe in love, i do,

in philosophers that never tire

who'll be debating whether

kpattz, robsten, or my name for it,

sorry, them,

pattenwart,

really love each other

or are merely feeding off the media shit storm

to soothe their fragile bodies

and appease their shiny deities.

so yeah, i know what it involves

every ingredient labelled and shelved

sampled and sicked up and

given 5 star reviews on amazon

with words of advice

and i do believe in love.

i do.

oh, i do

so friends,

hold out your bleeding hearts

apply some anti-skeptic

your wounds will heal in 30 days

give or take a century.

This.

Like A drug that spikes a body,
it shoots through my veins,
lacing each limb as i begin to smile.
Cascading efficacies.
Harmonizing bitterness,
to something o so lovely.

This drug is beautiful.
I am new to its potency,
But the supply is vast,
and i take delight in consumption.
I submit to the strength it has on me,
I grope.
No.
I feel.
Overwhelmed by the clutch it persists.

This drug is addictive.
Each night is a new thrill.
It shocks the greyest of bones,
waking me up to a sweet new world.
A world that was ours.
Hers and I alone.
None shall pass,
for no one could encompass the attachment we shared.

This drug is fresh.
She needed not getting used to,
as the pulse it disturbs throughout my body,
was welcomed openly.
I embraced her warmth,
through the long,
desolate, nights we shared.

My blood shall be tested,
to see how much i am intoxicated.
Already composed by much of what she is,
that what i am.
I love this drug.
She loves me.

Her.

Picture this
A love of pure bliss
waking up in the morning to smiles and a warm kiss
Never having to worry about relationship issues
staying up all night or drying ya eyes with tissues
picture a love found and never lost
an expensive destiny but i paid for it fuck the cost
my heart locked in your souls chamber of love
picture a forever with me, can you see it as pure as a dove
could you picture a dream that came true
you loving me and me loving you
imagine never having to argue or disagree
could you picture just picture you loving me
anything you need i would get it with both hands
i could be everything you desire one of your biggest fans
loving you in a way that the bible speaks about
no matter what i say love is what you hear out my mouth
i could love you from head to toe .... and toe to head
you was never pleased until you got in my bed
now that you have pictured it lets make it real
everything i speak of allow me the oppurtunity to make you feel
i will turn some of your greyest sies blue
all because i cherished, admired,adored and loved you
delete ya past its nothing to think about
i have taken over ya mind like spam in your inbox
imm giving you a reason to love something to desire
your heart was freezing cold until i sparked my fire
you dont have to picture anything else i will make ya dreams come true
all you have to do is let me thoroughly love you
let me be you reason to fantasize
help you understand why your alive
you was born into this world as one but your heart beats for two
and mines beat at your beat so our hearts beat for me and you
                                            now can you picture it

What happens when the light goes out
When the world goes dark
What happens when you feel the cold
Settling in your heart
When the sun goes down
When the door slams shut
When that darkness
Begins to creep in
What do you say
When you have given
All you have
When you feel like
Enough
Is never enough
How do you recoup
When your world falls apart
When your skies turn grey
Faith
Hope
Love
Burns through
The darkest nights
And the greyest storms
Have faith things will get better
Hope for a better tomorrow
Let the love
Start to pour through you
Igniting that inner spark
That was inside of you all along

crusty lips,

eyes like butter,

I look up at you,

and my heart flutters.



I've opened my eyes during grey storms,

and let the rain fall from the heavens, and without blinking

two raindrops fell into my pupils, and seeped through my soul.



When you look at me,

that's how I feel.



your lips,

like friendly fire

smile that half smile at me,

crinkled

warm



I almost forgot it.



those four words,

are proof that once

we were friends

maybe

things have to change

things have to end

so bigger things can happen