You're present when I hear this song.
As if our moments in time
and futures unknown
One hears the sound of pure water
that you hold so dear.
Washing away regret
and all that you fear.
Its rhythm flows with dark ease,
surfing over thresholds,
and teasing the boundaries of time.
Just as you gracefully ebb
from your story's past,
and aspire to freely climb.
Its beat rises to meet our ways of being
a its tempo jumps deep to be fully present.
Just as your gifts to us become more fluent,
your love of life becomes your servant.
Its clear and abundant tone sings
Just as your voice shares its
The song takes its time to bring us through,
As you unveil the vibrance of your colorful view.
And as you savor today's moments,
seek it significance,
C. . .
I hope you
like this song,
Oh, I hope I got it right.
I felt your presence,
heard this song,
wrote this poem,
give me a line that holds all my troubles
space grows scarce for the words of tomorrow
give me a meaning in one simple phrase
i've got to many words from past days
I wont read your long poem
your song of home far away
ill feel your words of love held so dear
Yes, these are the words fit for eyes, mouth, and ear
I had a nightmare
There were Al-Qaeda babies crawling in my room
With turbans on their heads
I know it sounds racist, it's awful, totally sick
but you gotta believe me
These Johnny Jihads were glowing in the dark
And I sensed bombs in their brains, saying gooooo geeeee gaaaa-gaaaa!
I've never been so terrified in my life
I had to leap over them, they were so fucking real
Any moment they'd explode
in a thin blood step of suicide
and Al-Qaeda day care
It wasn't just that
I knew the evil they'd become
Let me tell you how I got in this awful mess
I had this crazy idea
about confronting evil
Rwanda, genocide, all that shit
In all the books I could find
I thought I could make peace with the world
If I just cried my guts out
ship-wreck some snot mess, you know what I mean
Well, I guess the joke's on me
I needed a nightmare to tell me
There's no truth in evil
There's nothing to find
When it's all an illusion to begin with
Just like that nightmare
What a lesson that was.
I'll always remember those Al-Qaeda babies
They really saved my life
As twisted as that sounds
And yes, it's a true story
If you don't believe me...
Then God help you,
And you'll meet those Al-Qaeda babies.
I wonder if anyone will laugh at my sick sense of humor. That'll be fun to see.
September warmth is in the air,
That playful tapping
Of the breeze
As it winds its way
Through the laurel trees
That line Eastwind,
Up over the cobbled stone
Of Mr. Willow's
Sarsparilla Soda Shoppe.
And there he is,
Outside his storefront
Sweeping away leaves
And late afternoon
Jabe's running around
Like a bobber,
Up and about the yard,
Kicking at the nectarine tree
And demanding it
Drop its sword
And Annie tells on him
Pointing all the while,
Letting Momma know Jabe's
Gonna get himself hurt
Again if that tree
Ever gets mad.
And Dad's outside
Cleaning the windshield on the car,
Eying every streak he misses
And then giving it a name
I'm not supposed to ever say.
He hits the car again
With the garden hose
And washes her off,
Suds and soap splashing
Against the concrete
Of the driveway
As Momma hollers out
At Jabe to get his rear end
Back in the house
And get himself ready.
I go in and change my shirt.
It's hot, the best kind of hot,
And the sky is clear,
And the Summer air smells
Like a barbeque. The best
Parts of Summer always seem
To come when you're heading
Into other things - and if you
Don't keep your wits about you,
You'll miss 'em. They'll just
Wisp away like dew in the
Morning. So I get a clean shirt,
Change my shoes,
And grab my sweater
And head out.
And there's Momma holding
Onto Jabe's hand, and he's
Not too pleased. And Annie
Is holding her SusieQ Doll
And wondering about the fuss,
And Dad's smiling and shutting
The hose off and finishing those
Last few brushes across the
In just moments we're all tucked in,
Windows all rolled down,
Heading up the highway away
From the sun. Momma's got
Her pointy sunglasses on, and she's
Holding her hand out into the wind
Like a movie star. And Dad's
Shifting gears and putting his arm
Around Momma, and I see
Airplanes taking off not too far away
In an open field, those kind you pay
Three dollars for a ride on, and
They swoop you over the town
And you get to see everything lit up,
And you get to puke in a paper sack.
But that's not where we're going.
Dad just drives right on by, and
We watch as the planes and their
Pilots and the little fat kid with the red
Hair disappear into the haze.
Further up the road the lights of the town
Gently flicker away, and the sun
Rests over the horizon, and stars
Peek out overhead one by one, watching
Us I suppose, keeping an eye on the
Shiny not so new car with the three
Streaks across the windshield Dad
And the wind picks up just a little,
Still warm, still alive. And I stick my head
Out the window just to get the wind rushing
Across my face, through my hair.
Nothing like wind racing through your hair,
I thought. And I was right.
The horns brought me back to reality,
And up ahead I saw cars waiting in line,
And there was laughter, and the long
Tall green wooden fence lined the road
Half way to forever and back again.
Inside giant white unpainted signs
Stared at you, and as we pulled up
To the old man smoking on what was
Once a cigarette, he asked how many
And Dad said two adults three kids
And the old man peeked at us inside
And Dad paid a few dollars and we drove
Inside. Slowly, up and down and up again,
Like a sea of black asphalt. And Annie
Dad finally parked, and the car was
Facing up, like it was reaching up
Into the sky, except that the big white
Signboard was in our way. And outside
People were happy, had their radio's on,
Jumping, running. Other kids were there,
And we wanted to get out and run around too,
But Momma said hell no. And Dad kissed Momma
And got out and left us, and the dark grew,
And I breathed in the scent of hot dogs and
Cotton Candy and Popcorn and Pretzels and
French Fries and Hamburgers and it was
Seemed like forever since Dad had left,
And Momma got out and hoisted up a metal
Box onto the back window right beside me,
And then she got back inside and closed her
Window some. Annie asked Momma what
We were waiting for, and Jabe shoved his
Sling-Shot into my ribs and said "Stick 'em up."
And I took it away and tossed it into the front
Seat, and he cried.
Then the giant posterboard lit up some, and
Mentioned a snack bar, and I wanted to go.
After that they showed a Popeye cartoon,
And Dad made it back in time to give us all
Something to eat, say shut up, and take his seat
I'd never seen a screen so big. Never knew Popeye
Could punch Bluto and still be nice to Whimpy.
And we laughed, and the warm wind tapped against
The car, and radio's quieted down, and everyone
Was drawn to the giant picture. And we laughed.
Annie and Jabe were both asleep by the time
Dorothy made it back home. And she was telling
Aunty Em all about where she'd been, what she'd
Done. And they rolled a bunch of names,
And Dad said so how'd you like the drive-in?
And I stared at the big screen with bright,
Wide eyes, wanting more,
I didn't want the words to stop,
The story to end.
All I said was that's the biggest tv I ever saw.
And it was. And I was right.
And I guess that's when Dad
Had to laugh at me again.
Copyright © 2012 Richard D. Remler
being me means you're 21 but customers at work are always all like 'girl, how oldz you?'
and i'm like 'how old do you think'
please say 19 please say 19 please say 19
fuck them though they are stupid they are out shopping they are stupid
being me means you sell dildos but you do it with integrity and no ones got more
spunk than you(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!fuckyourmother!!!!!!!!1111)
being me means you like to drink but throw up too easy
sometimes you'll only have 3 beers, then slip away and start to think of really gross things so that you can vomit quicker and get on with your night
you think of your friend who likes to pull out her hairs then eat the tips
or how it hurts still to stick tampons in and you always do it gingerly and immediately want to just push them back out
and of how you can taste salty snot all the way at the back of your throat
along with how lonely it is back there against your insides and how the sound of you puking
is echoing this kind of bellowing that lurches in the toilet and is flushed down the pipes
but forever the slightest murmur
of how mediocre you are
some of my friends drive, but some of them don't
being me means you have gotten into car crashes because one time you were 'too high for this shit'
and being me means you like to smell the rubber bands
you like to be honest you like to fix things but not things like
those things are impossible
being me means you are impossible
and your neck is always sore you question yourself on how many times you've lied about items in your store
trying to sell ben wa balls being all like 'yea they work really well' or 'this whip stings for days' and then you lazily masturbate with your fingers because you've got
being me means a whole lot of nothing and too many Oreos and not being good at a lot and then
laughing in the mirror as you recite things to yourself that you would never in a million fucking years say like
'i've taken four classes in statistics'
or 'my boyfriend is parking the car'
being me is so stupid you'd hate it but i wear this awesome perfume so at least you'd smell ok
and i wash dishes a lot because its so god damn therapeutic and i like to write out my food list even though i never look at it when in the grocery store
my hand writing is pretty, you'd like it
but everything else,
Adept an enigmatic
At the distance
If I was honest when I met anyone
I'd have to display a disclaimer
That I tend to fuck up royally
If there's any chance of touching me
And I'm not talking sexually
So if you look at my past
Any of the most recent
I've pushed away all of them
All of them who were decent
Maybe I'm weary and less vigilant
Maybe things are blurry
Like the moments after an accident
But some managed to sneak in
So I get creative and emotional and crazy
When I put my mind to it oh I'll find a way
Cause now I laugh when I cry
Thinking about each and every damn one
Who said they loved me or understood me or would wait for me or forgive me or fuck me or find me or save me or be there for me
All of those who would try
To find me in a maze of memories past
The walls I've built
Have turned into parapets and balconies
From the heights of the castle
Clouds surrounding me
I can see for miles
But I can't escape this safe haven turned prison
It's impossible to visit but you can break in
If you find your way tell me
How you got in
Cause I'm lost to myself
And need you to tell me
How to be good and true again
So you're welcome my pretty
To come inside
To the labyrinth of my heart
And ask the question why
It's not the monsters that
Will eat you alive
You'll just get lost
Then you'll walk out
So I learned to do it first
To cause less hurt
I learned to be cold and hold it
At the most opportune touching moments
To create that distance I said
To build more walls
To make the maze more complex
And remember the heart's a moving target
Always moving never at rest
So give it your best shot
If you make it in
I'll be there
And I'll give you a chance
Cause I'm always surprised
And you can ask that question
But I'll be honest for a second
That in my whole life
I've never heard a decent answer
But I'm still waiting darling
I haven't forgotten
-Azrael Always James
© Copyright 2013
Cascading madness takes hold
(My crazy romantic heart's been sold)
To the queen from faraway
Sold my soul for a smile today
We try to keep clean
(if you know what I mean…)
Above the waist
But this relational bullshits got a bitter taste
Freedom with no strings
(yeah, it's one of those things…)
One night stand at hand
But the torn heart is sometimes too hard to mend
Drinking and smoking to excess
(Drugs were during recess)
I had a drink, I didn't think
But now I've taken us to the brink
…But they never thought we could make it anyway
-Azrael Always James
© Copyright 2013
I was told I was being mean
For writing what I do not understand
I understand more than you think
Hmmm If I have offended you in anyway
I do apologies
I was beyond caring what anyone thought at one stage
How many times did I try to kill myself?
Rape is one thing a person wants to forget
Don’t care how
You just want to get rid of all the memories
Then putting myself in stupid situations where I opened myself up to more....rapes
Getting drunk...waking up in strange rooms...gang rapes...it goes on
Not knowing where I was or what happened
Then remembering everything
Forever being a victim
I got sick of it
I was doing it to myself simple because I wanted to forget
Drinking...drugs...it won’t help you forget it’s just there
You have to live with it
I’m a 50 year old mother with an 18 year old boy
Because of what happened to me
I was protective of my boy
Even his father was raped
So its possible males can get raped too
When I looked in to my boy’s eyes as he was growing up
They were innocent
As a victim you can see the signs
Thank God he didn’t have any signs of being raped
You don’t see that innocence in a victim’s eye
A lot of my poems are about rape
From the victims point of view
Yeah I am being mean
I suppose in way
But then if I am
It’s because many times in my life yes I have wanted to die
I have wanted to take my life
But I suppose I was too chicken too
I’d rather live and be alive
Even though I still remember every single detail of being
Raped...humiliated....degradation…kicked around and beaten
So if that’s not knowing anything, then I don’t know what is
Once again I would like to apologies to you if I have offended you in anyway
It was not my intention
But I stand by what I say
You get past all of that...pain.... anger.... hatred
Feeling like no one cares
Or ever will
But you can never forget the horror of what did happened to you
It lives with you forever...
It becomes a part of your life..
Still get flash’s
That’s the worst part of all this
Remembering what happened.
And one more thing
If I refer to anyone as a fool when in pain
Then I must be the biggest fool in the world
©Kaila George 2013
God how could i be so selfish?
to completely turn you away, like i did?...
thinking i didn't need you...
knowing when i got YOU is the only time i ever have everything ill ever need..
guess nobody really knows what they need the most until you've finally lost it..
when i loose you i only fall deeper into the wreck i already am without you.
your every thing and i missed it...
all the times life killed me inside,
all the times when i cried out desperately for just ANYONE to listen,
without being shut down.
instead i gave up on you ...
the times when the one i looked up to left me and i felt hopeless i wish i would have known sooner that turning away from you was like loosing myself
i needed you then...
i need you now
now i know without you im nothing that my heart is broken without you.
i need you God.
and lifted hearts.
been around me from the very start.
this is nothing new,
but im gonna smile cause i deserve to.
even if along the way tears come
and i find deep down i got to cry too..
this is life and tonight
is the night where i decide
things are gonna be different...
in my life.
whatever that may mean,
im gonna do it
and to you
i will prove it.
through the hard times
God can do great and amazing things.
that HE is a God who dives head first into
tragedy and devastation WILLINGLY to rescue me...
That He can pull YOU out of the addictions and stand by you through the hurt and the pain...
and to turn you into something beautiful
i am a living testimony of that.
even though things are hard right now...
im gonna smile cause i deserve to.