i am here
i don't know why i am here
but i am here
maybe it's the moon
it's probably the moon
i love the moon
it keeps me company when there's no one
you're a good friend
listen to those harmonies
do you hear them
i hope you can hear them
they are beautiful
almost as beautiful as you are
you have your own harmonies
our voices sound nice together
our voices harmonize
let's go see the trees and the stars
let's take a trip to the moon and look at earth
it's funny how we live there
it's a small place
we are small
i love you though
you may be insignificant in the grand scheme of things
i am as well
but i love you
and somehow you are significant to me
because you care
that is nice
it is nice that you care
i love you
there is no point
i just started writing and this came out
it is not good, i know
One step. One breath. Each day is a new test. Laughing fits Crying spells. Picking at new scabs.
The space between life and pain is separated by a thin veil. I've opened up the curtains and cast away the darkness. The razor cuts of his tongue are silenced by my love. Yet yet yet the painful choices of my now paralyze thought.
Wrapped inside a cotton brain with small thoughts and toy trains. My ego seeks how to learn without leaving a perpetual burn. My brothers and sisters await at the gate. I see them clear i see them now but they can't wait.
Lets start anew today amongst the ruins of the festive clothes. A bird will rise with a red nose in tow squirting water from a flower. This bird climbs and climbs to an apex of thought. Behind the world and over forever. Rain slowly falls and floods the world, pain is gone, a rainbow appears. A new life begins today on a hazy green path.
This means everything and nothing at all. It's all nonsense and jibberish. Consciousness streams and flows. And it feels damn good to be me for one single moment. One drop of irrelevant rain into life's ocean. The pencil is dull so I must stop. Happiness ensues. The crowd cheers the end of the show. A young girl wears a shiny white mask.
I cuddle into my pillow
Whenever we're on the phone
Imaging it was your chest.
I like to talk to the air
When I walk home alone
Imaging you were there.
When it snowed
I thought of you and I smiled
Imaging all the good times in precipitation.
I miss you
But I'm thankful
That your mine.
Now and Always
And one day I won't have
Because it'll all come true.
i can like my own peoms. got multiple accounts for all my personalities. YEEEEHAW! and good gollie gee whiz i got to pee pee on my doggie ;)
Found some shit on the net to make me look smart love copy paste love copy pasting. that shit on the net and I copy pasted. Been copy pasting stolen peom. Fun times that shit there boy. ;) got to eat a green one out of my nose now. yummy yummy. I messed up and thought Vanilla Pud was the other dude. What the fuck was his name? Don't know gone over the coo coo nest now.
The worst moment in life
that awful moment
when you suddenly realize--
you are completely insignificant.
You are not important.
You won't do anything to change anything.
And this bothers you.
You want to contribute.
You want to feel needed.
You want to create a big enough impact on something that
it will change forever.
Perhaps this is why we all want to fall in love so desperately.
We all have that empty void in our hearts that need to be filled.
We need to feel needed,
to feel important to someone.
To change them for the better.
To feel like we have finally done something good.
And to just matter.
Even to only one person.
One person really can mean the world to you.
And you can mean the world to another person.
Maybe then you won't feel that desperate need to feel important
or to matter to the rest of the planet.
Because that one person will be your world.
And you'll matter to them.
And that will be enough.
The rabbit and the hole.
Like puzzle pieces left out in the rain.
Ex-communication leads to excommunication.
This is your brain on drugs.
suck the marrow dry.
the offer a pause,
as though we had ever begun to play.
Like a claustrophobic masochist,
leasing out a shoebox.
I want in for good.
I want out for life.
Lets play hide,
all the seekers are dead.
Lack of art
To hear my cries
No good guys in disguise
all this I show.
I know I'll get through
wipe off the residue
and be anew.
Struggle struggle struggle
Cue fake Smile
Remember to grab cheer shoes in the morning
Oh, Aj and Sarah Alice are talking again?
Oh god what am I gonna get you gossipy motherfuckers for Christmas
Oh hey there's one I like
And there she goes
And he for that matter
Not that he ever was there
Learn learn learn
Sip coffee. Stay awake.
Take organized, color-coded notes
Cue laughter at friend's jokes
Small cup of lettuce
Pretend not to notice the looks people give your lunch over bloated piles of pasta
Sorry I don't like school food
Pinch inner thigh fat
Gaze at stretch marks dejectedly
Try to forget because people are starving in Africa
So be happy in your big house and priavate school stupid
Sip more coffee
Iced now because it's afternoon
Cheer cheer cheer am I breathing oh goddamn I cannot possibly throw this tuck I CANNOT THROW THE TUCK THE TUCK DOES NOT HAVE THE POTENTIAL FOR LANDING CANT AHH DEAR JESUS OKAY I THREW THE TUCK okay pose breath breath where is the oxygen who fucking knows 1
Dance dance dance smile look pretty
Is this what death feels like
YAY WE HIT YAS IM IN HEAVEN
Oh god more homework
Just plan which breaks you'll do it in tomorrow
Study hall- apush
Another subject I pray I'll have random time to do for some reason
Who knows how tf it gets done
Wait but tumblr
oh god oh lord IM LARGE AND NOT EXPERIENCING EVERYTHING WHAT IF IM DOING EVERYTHING WRONG AND ILL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE SORRY MOM BUT YOU MAKE MY BRAIN WANT TO SPILL OUT but what if I'm looking at the future too much and I miss all the good stuff now but this also kind of sucks not gonna lie
WHAT IF IM NOT ENOUGH
Okay Gabs stop being a stupid emotional mother fucker
* sings defying gravity on bathroom floor with all doors closed *
Okay. I'm Gucci
It's ten thirty
Damn I'm tired
I love warm outfits on cold days.
Wrapping my hands around hot coffee as the chilly wind scrapes across my skin, peeling away the usual layers of daydreams and ADD so I feel completely present, solely here
and alive right in this moment with my eyes open wider and my heart muscles stretching and straining to love everyone all at once but it's a good kind of pain-
But also I hate the hurt of pinching myself when we hurl our usual ragged chucks of disagreements at each other,
digging fingernails into my skin so I don't scream or slap you or sob
I hate crying silently on the phone with a pretend-happy voice.
And then seeing you break down for the first time...
Watching that hard golden shell dissolve completely-
Not just in sideways glances or offhand comments but gazing on as all your layers of fake smiles and witty comments came crashing down like the fucking wall of Jericho was heartbreaking
And the girl I saw there;
The wounded, angry, sobbing, snapping, scared animal in the corner raw and exposed and exhausted from the fight-
I couldn't help but love her too
I wish you didn't feel the need to be so strong all the time.
It's okay to slide apart every now and then
And you know what else I learned today?
Just because someone popped you out of their vagina and you don't like them all that much doesn't mean that you're a horrible person
2. What people act and what they feel are sometimes galaxies and universes and entire planets apart- so polarizing that you're often not sure who is who and which stars belong where and it's just a damn shitstorm of confusion
But don't worry about it
Because it's your job to love people for whomever they choose to show-
not to decide what is real and what is not.
We can always yell and cry a bit about that shit that's everyone's lives- be it malaria, crazy moms, homework, whatever-
then proceed to appreciate the fact
that we will always have hot lattes together on chilly winter mornings
i still think about you a lot.
and i don't know if that's weakness.
you're in the cigarettes i smoke
(when you handed me one after another and told me not to smoke so much)
you're in my car
(where we put the windows down and you flooded your body with medicine)
you're in my mind, and even after everything
(my hands shaking on the wheel)
(telling me how cute i was from my passenger seat)
i can barely remember your mouth or the way it felt
('this shit is fire')
and i know you were a cancer, preying on my softest parts,
(you swaying, eyes half-closed, caught in center of that 'fire')
but i can't kill that cancer i can't
(your arms around me through your haze)
because then i'd have to kill all of it
even the good parts.