she was my most loved rainy day--
on this day, as rain fell,
smoke rose above houses, engines whirled and honked, relinquishing fierce flames--
she passed like a hurricane with stronger winds than I had prepared for, knocking me down, cradling my head as I descended. if I was God every day would be torrential downpour, with me,
but everything good doesn't last,
even when you pray tears out of your blessed eyes.
until we are reunited, I await the next season.

Presumptively, I split the pall
Into sections never dared at all
And stared blandly into the gloom
As aimless faces filled the room
I took my daily dose of sludge
People's heart unwilling to budge
Wallowing in perpetual self-torment
Wheels and pockets hell-bent
I in shame and they in delusion
Bowing my head in grim conclusion
Shaken by the resignation
Shattered by good intention
Branded home set cynical
Set each state apart, clinical
Knowing that the failure's done
The apathy has all but won
And glimmers here and ever there
Only serve to shed more tears
To set the day to see this win
The daily glory, the new begin
The path is there, the meal is set
Partake it now lest we forget.

"be quiet
be polite
behave in public!
don't yell

get good grades

how come you never go out?
you go out way too much, focus on school"


never was a good soldier
never did  belong in a bungalo

He was born in a log cabin
Faces lots of hardship from his childhood
He works in the farm after school to help his parent
He was a man of truth and honesty
He became a man of honour
A man full of reputation and dignity
A man who wage many wars which would have prolonged slavery
A man who propagated the end of slavery today
He tells the truth and yet people never wanted the truth
He cares and love the masses yet they loose faith in him
As a great Man he never stop his good deeds
He was hated by many because he was against slavery
As a great man he keeps pushing against slavery
He won
Free the slaves
And also free the union
A man who spoke powerful words
"With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds."
He became the best president ever known
He hated war and destructions
Yet faced the worse crisis any president would ever seen
He later took war as the only means to free the union
Yet was murdered by people he cares about
Great men lives on
His legacy lives forever
His achievement speaks great of him
Farewell!!! Abraham Lincoln

how lonely sits
the city says
lamentations

guess this mouse has what you americans call post traumatic
stress disorder,
think of it more like
a path for the
eyes.

one where eyes are finally forced away
from the works of hands
by the knock knock
knocking on
heaven's door,
everybody's saying,
hodi hapa? something's
wrong if no one's answering; tonight.

my neighbor whose
name is eej (for
real) came to
the hut with
his friend.

i said do you
have siblings
he said
i did

oh

said i

you are living
my worst nightmare
one thing about an african

childhood, they say fatalism, you say you
would think about death too
and who knows

what you'd
look
like

tonight by the bagel van i said bunkle
i gotta problem
what's your problem said he
well i think i'm not wearing enough colors
no said he you're missing a bright splash in the orange red family

who knows what we all look like
inside the infinite space
of our souls

wonder if
blue means purity or
green means beauty
or red means strength
or love
or love

well
we all look
pretty much
the same asleep

hatred doesn't look
different in one
eye or another

but why does
it have to
be in the
eyes of
anyone

this mouse has
been asking
since
child
hood

why
why
why.

the cruelty

but
yet
still
and
for
ever

(you always did care for me yeah
you always did share with me yeah)

you always make me laugh, still

the book of jonah makes me
think of sea legs
and just everything,
you know all
the palm trees
huts, nonvoices
of our lives

the blessings rain down
an ocean sunsetting
on an Ocean sky.

siblings

be strong the
good kind of
dangerous

is
the



fire

i tried
i picked it up and
strummed some chords
but every time i try to sing the
lyrics i have written
i cry
and goddamn i'm done with this
i'm trying to write
but i can't
and this is why

i feel as if you're still here
and i'm scared of you
did you hear my words?
i'm scared of you
i'm scared of the feelings that seem to follow you
like ducklings following their mother
and you're always here
like those damned demons
in those pitiful films
they call horror
and shit,
i feel bad
i feel really bad
and i know i shouldn't
but i do
and can you please stop?
you seem to be reigning over me
floating over my head
and it's constant
the thoughts i think
"i feel used"
"this entire thing was bullshit"
"i'm a fucking idiot"
and this isn't good
and it's scaring me
everything about you scares me now
and i'm glad it's over but then again,
i'm not
i'm really not
and i can't bring myself to sing
a song because that's what we used to do
and it's stupid
i know
but
that is why
i can't

It is the same thing that we are told over and over
In all our classes, all our days
For one hundred and eighty days on end.

In math we are told about the Pythagorean theorem and Pathetic Fallacy~~
But some of us still do not know the value of "X".

It is after parents get called from teachers saying that their child is:
hyperactive
easily distracted
unfocused
doesn't do the proper thing
And that their child, who is brilliant, cannot be in a Level One class.

We all have different abilities and thought processes.
Why is it that a class full of individuals is tested by all of the same means?

Exams are the way society tells you your worth.

But it is the same society that:
says abortion is wrong but then looks down on teenage parents
promotes natural beauty but has models flushed with makeup, hair extentions, false lashes, and nails
shows slender people for their weight loss commercial that look like an hour glass already
has pastors that preach charity but own jets and sports cars
has Imams who preach against greed but are all fat
has parents who want their child to get a good education to get a good paying job but hate how rich the neighbors are
is run by governments that preach peace but endorse war
Has colleges who want smarter kids but increase the tuition

What does it mean to "make the mark?"

to the kids who study hard and barely miss the target
to the kids that know what it feels like to be worth that D or that A when a teacher hands back a test
to the kids who are never good enough in their English teacher's eyes
to the kids whose writing is missing key literary techniques or was too informal to be understood

What does it mean to "make the mark?"

to the math teacher who pesters you about trying harder when you can't tell them "X" but can tell them the date of any war
to the science teacher who tells you to know the periodic table and yells in distress of their 'worst student'

We're told everything that we learn we'll use the information again but never do when we walk out the door.

They try to prepaid you for the world, but they don't prepair you for life.

always being the second best
not getting the scholarship that you needed to go to college
not getting the solo on your last concert night.

not being able to make the mark

What does it mean to "make the mark?"

Adam kicked the soccer ball to the front of the house.  Sam watched him chase after it, while she sipped her sweet tea.  The sound of his feet stopped and was replaced with car tires driving through the gravel road.  She stood up and walked down the steps to see who had come.  Adam cut her off before she made it around the corner of the house.
Panting and out of breath, he gasped, “Mommy…Daddy’s home.”
Sam stared at Adam, letting those two words sink in.  Adam turned around and started running back.  She stood there for a moment and then took after her son.  Thoughts were flooding her mind.  When she hugged him one last time before he left, him walking towards the plane, the letters coming home every week, his arms wrapped around her, and the sounds of him and Adam playing football in the afternoon.
Her pace slowed when she arrived to the front of the house.  Cameron’s grey truck turned off followed by another black car tuning its engine off.  Cameron hopped out of the truck and looked over at her with sorrowed filled eyes.  Adam ran up and gave him hug, but Cameron’s eyes never left hers.
A Marines officer walked up to Sam with letters in his hands.  Her heart started beating faster and could feel a hole beginning to form in her stomach.  Please…Please, don’t tell me he’s gone.  Please be a mistake, she closed her eyes and thought.
Ma’am, are you Sam Chesterfield?” the officer asked.
She opened her eyes and forced a whisper, “Yes.”
“Mrs. Chesterfield, I am sorry to inform you that your husband has died in combat.  He gave me this letter to give to you.  Here is another letter from the Department of
Defense about the funeral if you have any questions.  You have my deepest condolences, Daniel was an honorable man,” he placed his hand on her shoulder and walked away.
As he climbed into his car, Sam broke down.  She feel to her knees, letting her vision get blurry.  Cameron ran over and wrapped his arms around her, trying to calm her down.  Adam walked over and took his mother’s hand.
“Mommy…is Daddy coming home?”
Sam looked up at him.  She saw so much of Daniel in him.  Before she could answer, Cameron responded, “Your dad…well he went somewhere where he can get better.”
Adam just nodded.  “Sweetie, why don’t you and Cameron go inside.  I need to take care of some things,” she sputtered out.
As they went inside, she stared at the white envelope with her name scribbled on the front of it.  She slowly opened it and began to read,
My Dearest Samantha,
If you are reading this, you already know that I am not coming home.  I could not know or describe the pain that you are going through right.  When Adam has asked what has become of me, tell him the truth.  Let him know that his father died a hero and that I loved him very much.  I already asked Cameron to look after you and Adam, and he has promised.
Sam, please do not grieve my death for the rest of your life.  Smile and remember the good times.  Our wedding day, the first day we met, how we fell in love.  Remember all of that; watch the tapes to see my face again.  I will always love you and be with you, no matter what.  I know that it may be hard at first on your own, but you are a strong woman and can do it.  You and Adam are my life’s love and happiness.  I will always be with you two in heart.
There is another letter in here for Adam to read.  I want you to give it to him when you think he is ready to read it.
I love you with all of my heart.
Love,
Daniel

All I did was treat you right
I made you the number one thing in my life
Even when we broke it off
I let you act like you were the boss
Yet on the last day that we have together
You act like you are so much better
Even when I joke
You treat me crap
You know what you deserve?
I nice and powerful slap

When I broke down and cried
You gave me your shoulder and wiped the tears from eyes
Then, not even 10 minutes late
You talk about me, right to my face?
Yet, you do not understand why I am glaring at you
And feeling things oh so cruel

So listen up and listen good
I am leaving you in the dust like I know I should
If you are going to try to break me like a toy
I'll just laugh with joy
I refuse to be controlled by any person, especially so rude
I hope you enjoy your summer because, Logan, I'm done with you