You gave me joy,
You wiped my tears.
Because of you,
I have no fears.
Together we held on,
You watched me grow.
You taught me everything,
That I should know.
Through all the years,
I have friends that come and go,
The one thing that stays,
Is your kindness that glows.
You have been my blessings,
My friend, my cheerleader.
I will always remember you.
Through all these years.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
This poem gives voice to children with Autism. It is a tribute to all like-minded individuals who dedicated their lives and time to volunteering for children with special needs. What these children could not articulate in words, they do so in actions.
I just wish I could start this poem as lovely as all of my others,
But you are just someone I cannot write about in a quick sense.
It’s weird because at first I thought you were just sort of a brother,
But then the feelings I had for you got a bit more intense.
I hadn’t talked to you since second grade and then you pop up again,
The first thing you ask is if I remember going to your 8th birthday.
And from then on our friendship was rekindled and that year was insane,
You were one of the only people who never ran away.
We were so close and just loved to pick on each other,
And you jammed to the blues with me in your basement.
We were best friends to one another,
“Maxine, I love you.” you told me, drunk and blatant.
The night you said that was probably one of the best nights I’ve ever had,
When you tried to dance with me after drinking whiskey.
I felt such an odd sense of being happy and glad,
Watching you fall asleep across from me on the couch, still a bit tipsy.
After that day I looked forward to every day just so I could see you,
And I know you’d probably think that was super cheesy.
But unfortunately yes it is cheesy and its also true,
I had fallen hard for you and it was really easy.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving break and it seems we are closer than ever,
Especially when you asked me out to see a concert.
Grace seemed to get quite excited and proud of you for being so “clever”,
Which got me wondering if you weren’t just friendly but now you were a flirt.
That concert was so much fun and I had never felt closer to you,
Especially when you were staring and smiling at me.
It felt like something was going to happen, I almost knew,
And something did happen around three.
We were laying in bed together just watching a movie,
When I feel you stroke my thigh.
To be honest at first I thought you were just being goofy,
But I moved closer to you and I complied.
Your hand went up farther until you were just outside my bodily love,
And I felt how much you wanted me at the moment.
I lifted the garment off of my hips and your hands were shoved,
Down into my wet warm body and my legs spread open.
I loved the way you delicately traced the dripping skin,
And how your fingers slid in and out of me.
I loved how wet your cock made me because it certainly wasn’t thin.
You were so huge and that was plain to see.
I just had to touch it and take it in my hand,
And then I needed to do more and take it into my mouth.
I didn’t care if this was out of the blue or unplanned,
Because I just want you to enjoy yourself and I’m already down south.
You almost broke my jaw honest to god,
But I loved every goddamn second of it.
Maybe I’m fucked up, wrong, and flawed,
But I just had to show you I love you I must admit.
I know you feel so upset and full of guilt,
And it breaks my heart.
But this friendship can easily be rebuilt,
Because I can’t stand for us to be apart.
I just want the guy I’ve known for so long back,
I want to hear your voice laugh at me again.
It feels almost like an attack,
Having this constant worry and strain.
I can’t keep writing because the tears are starting to flow.
But I know it’ll all be ok soon.
We’re both tough as you know,
We will make it through this, we are immune.
"Don't do it. There's always another way."
"You could've said that yesterday. You could've said that any day. Now it's too late."
"It's never too late."
"Look, there's no other way to escape."
"Please don't. Think of your family and friends."
"Time heals all wounds. It'll heal them."
I couldn't hear her over the wind.
Sometimes memories fade.
People come and go, lovers and friends
all come to an end.
I try to hold on, I really do.
But sometimes I find myself struggling to
remember the things I knew.
I desperately wish I could keep all those
pictures locked in my head.
Black and white, vibrant colors; you think those
images would keep.
But instead they've become locked away, some place
dark and deep.
I wish I could capture those memories again.
Relive the old days, revel in my carefree youth.
I long for the memories, the pictures,
to remember the past.
Being the photographer never lasts.
Writing a sob story that's too pathetic to cry over
It doesn't matter what you did, what you're doing or what you're going to do because I just want to be with you
I feel like a crazed boy band fan who knocks on their door at 5am
just to tell them how amazing they are
but they already know that
so the girl look twice as stupid then she did before her knuckles tapped their door.
At least they have body guards so they can prevent her from making a fool
Who is there to protect me, to prevent me?
Am I suppose to be my own sercurity
because I'm not as strong as I make myself seem
I can't lock my feelings away I can't program my mind to put a 1-2-3-4-5 digit code and store it some place.
It's more than attraction and your beautiful face
or the way my heart races down the empty road of our relation ship we never had
You and I wanted different things. You wanted my body
even then it felt like you didn't
I keep hoping and hoping that things will be different.
That my feelings will change and you take my position. But it wont and these butterflies in stomach tell me why.
Because its 5am when I should be asleep
or at least reading a book or watching tv but its 5am and I'm writing about you.
The sun is rising and the birds are chirping .
The noise of the birds tapping at my window annoys me because it reminds of me you and I not being together
it reminds that not only are we not lovers but we're barely even friends
"Holy shit," they said.
"That's one ugly bitch."
"Look at her skin."
"Look at her hair."
"God, she's repulsive."
"She's so fucking crazy."
"And so damn depressed."
"I know right. Like either kill yourself or give it a rest."
"She'll never have friends."
"She doesn't need 'em."
"True that, she'd probably just eat them."
"I can't stand depressed people."
"They just do it for attention."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I said
And we listened.
Hair has always been really symbolic to me
It represents youth, change, and familiarity
Long hair especially, it always sticks out
It's just more boyish to have long hair
And when you cut it, you suddenly become a different person
It's almost like once you choose to stop growing your hair
Long in the boyish way
You're an adult now
And I really hate that change
I hate when it happens to people
And it happens all around me
I'm never cutting my hair for good
It's too precious to me
I won't go through the pain that I go through when all of my friends get their "hair cut"
So for Christmas this year
All I ask
Is that you grow you hair back
So I can have the little boy that I used to know back
Because I miss him so much.
I've recently been contacted about having my collection of poems published. since you all are such great fans and supporters, I invite you to go 'like' my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/courtneyksnodgrass
you'll get additional sneak peeks like excerpts and quotes from the novel that I just finished writing as well!
it would really mean a lot if you guys could go like my page and then invite your friends too. (if you feel I deserve it)
all is appreciated, thank you so much.
I can't go anywhere
Without the thought of you
Following me like a shadow
And it drives me insane
Knowing that just cause I left you
It doesn't mean
That you left me
Tonight I saw your family
When I was out
And it scared me knowing
You said one day
I would be in your family too
Because you loved me a lot
And I thought that was cute
I loved your family
But simply not you
I could be out right now
With your family
I am with my own
That leaves me isolated
And begging for friends
But maybe that's good
Because if I was in your family
I wouldn't be happy
Knowing I was with you.
Baby when you laugh at me
it does nothing but remind
of just how unfaithful you would act
If I was to ever call you mine.
It's when you don't stick up for me,
you'd rather laugh with your friends,
But darling you know that love lasts forever
and eventually reputations end.
They wonder how I sympathise,
but baby, I understand,
how hard it is to say no to friends
when they offer a cold-hearted hand.
As I burn with humiliation,
and discomfort you've brought to me,
it's viewed as a simple wake-up call
that everyone can see.
My friends, they all voice aloud,
How could I like a boy so crude?
And it's hard to say the truth of it--
I'd give anything for you, so sick and rude.
He just cares to much about his image, that's all.
And I accept that.
I accept it.