dew drops glisten
in the night
set on fire,
and thunder cackles
like a far off,
in the breeze
but I do
not want this
my heart reaches
in her loneliness
for a something
Copyright © 2012 Richard D. Remler
"Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat
upon your head with silver liquid drops.
Let the rain sing you a lullaby."
crisp from the core
cut in half and a bore.
I want some more sand!
I'm tired of cement beneath
the slabs of meat I call feet,
the movement doesn't beat
it fuels it.
on my way uphill, the stretch
is between my thighs. Sweat!
this weather is no good for fancy clothes,
I've got pit stains up these hills.
I'd say I'm looking on the bright side, but
it's more of a stare, or perhaps it's the light
that's stalking me, because I can't seem to
this soul is melting through this flesh which
can't let go of winters breath, what once was
afraid to freeze to death wants nothing more
than a cloud or four, to shade their skin from
the heat begins.
Summer is no enemy,
Winter is no friend,
all I want is Fall again!
The spring is here,
my nose is nose,
the seeping of color shall spread
down and all places around,
it'll push and shove as
my body is covered
in the guilt of not taking
the time to properly supply myself
with sun screen.
Once upon a morning glory,
As pondered I this dreary story,
I passed a man of tattered soul
Who had his head stuck in a hole.
And, oh how whined this little man,
Who asked if I would lend a hand.
So, respectfully I preened to view
Those things that crazy people do.
And how he moaned, and wept, and cried,
He begged. He whimpered. He even sighed,
And I studied his condition fair,
To see if I could help him there.
Yet, did this act of kindness show
How much I wanted him to go
And cry on someone elses door?
Oh no, he only cried the more.
And the more he cried I so debated
On how to get this man sedated,
To quiet up his noisy trap
Before I absolutely snap.
So, his head was stuck inside a hole,
And not just any hole, but so
Very small a hole, I'd guessed
He'd ventured this to simply test
That square within a circle theory.
And so, I uttered thrice with weary:
"I do not care! I do not care!
Just yank your fat head out of there!"
But cried he more the more he cried.
He groaned and moaned so deep inside,
I felt at least a smidgen sad
For this sorry little lad.
The day was not so kind to me!
There were places I'd much rather be,
Places not akin as much
To sticking heads in holes and such.
So, great friend that I know I am,
I called our famous 911.
And they told the local City Police,
And called in all the firemen.
They brought in a Paramedic Team,
And every single Girl Scout.
And then hushed their laughter just enough
To dig the sorry goofball out.
Copyright © 2004 Richard D. Remler
"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody.
Now I see that I should have been more specific."
(The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe)
performed by Lily Tomlin
He was out the door, slammed shut in 2004
and he couldn't get back in even if he wanted to
because the lock broke after he moved out to Hadar
the arm pit of Haifa, and wouldn't tell me where he was
as a punishment for my banishing him.
A friend saw him on Masada street.
In the end that proved to be his street
oh, the time I had for friends, in the hot Mediterranean sun
dinners in cramped living rooms with laughter and wine and always
houmus. You can't eat a meal without it, and prints of art on the wall
and the cement floor, and the too many cats
So he'd crash in, do something that had to be done, insult me, and leave
and this was it
I sat in that big apartment with he fancy black cement floors and smoked
cigarettes and took the bus to the cat shelter to clean 25 cat boxes in a cold water
bath tub and set them out to dry in the sun
and hang discarded clothes on a fold out clothes rack, each cat got a shirt to lie on
and instant coffee and chocolate at 4:45 PM and cigarettes as cats walked around in the
But at home, sometimes I'd try to get him back, if I could
But he could always be so much more mean, poking at the tender spots
without remorse and I learned, not to fight back
Just to collapse and cry as the door slammed or he said something
and then stormed out, absolutely not caring
There were my friends, here I have no time for friends,
and I talked to him and prepared for a time when I'd go back and
have no time for friends again
Everything would be work, work, get yourself back on track
you've lost so much time
But here, too, the losses are deep and I sit in my own apartment, with
carpet and a dishwasher, that I could only have dreamed of having then
and my own car in the parking lot, and
People make me cry.
People where I work, people I mistook for friends
and it's better now, I now, if I can only follow through
to seek no revenge
but just to mourn
Because the world can be more cruel and cold and uncaring
than I can ever imagine
there's no competing
it's better to sit and cry here, too
The warp of time,
a memory so refined
that it sits naked
cradled in your mind.
My baby, you cry
‘oh, what is this division
that has cast us so apart?’
Time. Time and tremors
and the absence of lusture
in our lives.
I kiss the scars of our past.
The heady punch of whiskey,
and the overspill
from your father’s ice machine.
I remember it well.
And, my friend;
the cigarettes in the park,
the first time we split
and cut school together.
I remember it well.
in the supermarket aisles
mistaken for lovers
by the strangers on the streets.
Half-right and half-witted
we fell into the role
with a bumbling
grace. Bless yourself
with the compliments
you know I have for you.
Remember them well
whilst I kiss the scars of our past.
A friend I am not
I do not know how to mask desire with faithfulness
To falsely turn my cheek for the sake of another
No friends have I sought
But only intricate details of a lover
Held up in brilliant contrast to the sun
Until their affections I have won
Which subdue me for a while or so
But a friend I am not, so off they must go
As sidewalks are laced with tiny delicacy in blue
They say to me, 'I will not forget you'
But what is forgotten, if remembered without meaning?
Ah, and the blue laced flowers waver, unsure
As if to remember is to abhor
I will not go quietly, or do as you say
or extinguish my light, just to act in your play
I will never endure all your senseless remarks
That spring from your weakness like shots from the dark
I’ve often been fooled by the words of a friend
who lead me on blindly to treacherous ends
I’ve allowed you to hurt me I’ve opened my heart
As you filled it with poison and tore me apart
I will stare at the sun as my anger takes form
I will climb to great heights in the gut of the storm.
I will curse this false trust that ensnares me like rope
that binds my torn wrists and suffocates hope.
I will let my voice sound from the top of this hill
I will sing, I will dance, I will laugh, yes, I will
how lonely sits
the city says
guess this mouse has what you americans call post traumatic
think of it more like
a path for the
one where eyes are finally forced away
from the works of hands
by the knock knock
hodi hapa? something's
wrong if no one's answering; tonight.
my neighbor whose
name is eej (for
real) came to
the hut with
i said do you
you are living
my worst nightmare
one thing about an african
childhood, they say fatalism, you say you
would think about death too
and who knows
tonight by the bagel van i said bunkle
i gotta problem
what's your problem said he
well i think i'm not wearing enough colors
no said he you're missing a bright splash in the orange red family
who knows what we all look like
inside the infinite space
of our souls
blue means purity or
green means beauty
or red means strength
we all look
the same asleep
hatred doesn't look
different in one
eye or another
but why does
it have to
be in the
this mouse has
(you always did care for me yeah
you always did share with me yeah)
you always make me laugh, still
the book of jonah makes me
think of sea legs
and just everything,
you know all
the palm trees
of our lives
the blessings rain down
an ocean sunsetting
on an Ocean sky.
be strong the
good kind of
(this is real
hope: in the
the fire of
You BLAME Him for being JEALOUS
of all of the other guys you talk to? You
could tell Him they're all just friends, but
yet, He still worries & He's still afraid
to lose you because he cares .
Do you wonder why?
Because don't forget, you & Him started out being 'just friends' too & look where you both
are now, together as a couple. You both
became more than friends after being just
friends so in His mind, it's possible for
another 'friend' to come along and you
might start liking that friend the same way you started liking your Man now! So
understand your Man is jealousy.
Yes he might be over protective
Yet he cares
For sixteen years now I've been haunted by your death,
you'd have been 27 today.
I was only 7 when it happened; when you drew your last breath,
your 'little shadow' lost something deep inside herself that day.
you were the only one who cared about me then,
alone and scared in the hospital; you were my only friend.
You helped me cope; taught me how to unleash my pen,
if I couldn't deal with it; you'd help me mend.
I thought you were fine; we'd just spoke on the phone,
making plans to go to the movies the next day.
Your voice never betrayed the 'secret' your face would have shown,
last words I heard are "I'll see you tommorrow Jenni, I promise." you say.
you never came; I knew something was off,
then that gut wrenching phone call...
my mother hung up and told me you'd died; her voice all quiet and soft.
I remember my head spinning,
I black out and fall.
It was several months after; that I found out what happened,
why you'd gone.
Your own demon won over as your depression deepened,
you hung yourself; leaving me here alone and undone.
Why did you have to go,
why must I stay all by myself?
As an adult I now understand; I know,
but it still eats me up inside; my broken innerself.
Sixteen years later; I still have that damn note you left me,
it's the only thing I've got left of you;
"Tell Jenni I'm so sorry,
and that I love her.
He told me that if I told anyone he'd take me and my brothers and sisters away from our mom and he'd kill her.
when I was 6 my mother married my stepfather (who is phsyically, mentally, and verbally abusive), and soon after I had a tramatic black out and according to my family I stabbed my stepfather in the leg with a kitchen knife, I was screaming like a banshee, and trying to hurt myself.
My mother and stepfather took me to a psychiatric hospital and kept me there for 6 months.
I would not talk to the doctors, nurses, shrieks, anyone and everyone was an enemy as far as I was concerned.
The place was terrifiying, the kids there were all disturbed in one way or another.
Elizabeth was 13, and was there because her father had been sexually abusing her since she was 4.
She and I became friends, and she protected me against older kids that would bully others or worse.
She was the only one I opened up to, she convinced me that I should speak to the doctors, that they would help.
She assured me my father would not take me or my siblings away or harm my mother, and that he might be put in jail if I told them what happened.
I trusted her judgement so I did, and after a lot of different things I was released from the hospital.
Elizabeth and I stayed in contact, she lived a few blocks from me.
The night she killed herself we had talked about going and seeing the new disney movie that had just come out and were planning to good see it after school the next day.
My mother did tell me she died but wouldn't tell me why, wouldn't let me go to her funeral, nothing.
I found out through a friend of hers that hung out with us sometimes, and her mother years later confirmed it.
Her father had gotten off the court charges because of some techincallity, and she was to vist him every weekend.
She knew what would happen when she did, so rather than face it she hung herself in her basement.
Elizabeth was my guardian angel then, and I believe she still is today.
I miss her dearly everyday.
My friend, guardian angel, and sister.