A misplaced Oxford Comma
Lead to perilous trauma
She drifted into an Oggsford Coma
Then turned into an awful aroma

The Ceremony held in 1980
Resurrected in 1 A.D
In the lumbering town of Hudson's Bay
Majorie chose to stay

Never feeling so free
She sat within a tree
Enjoying all she could see
The girl decided never to flee

Established in 1995
This dream came Alive
A tree home called heaven
Would stand until 1997

Slim used to be a Jackline Skinner
Lumberjack was more of a winner
Quickly forgot all about Walden Pond
Long before a new light dawned

"The wind that blows
Is all that anybody knows"
Even goes for pros
Or vacant minded 'hoes'
Just patiently listen to those
Who know where a dick goes
Don't make needless foes
Leave that for the 'pros'

Slim stood uttering horrible slurs
At the request of a woman in expensive furs
Majorie stood on bended knee
Pleading for them to leave her tree

As she reached the bottom of the ladder
Silence was breached by a clatter
All the rats began to scatter
Knowing exactly what was the matter

The lumberjack had missed his mark
Added slightly too much ark
Caused the Oak to prematurely tumble
Left Slim's body to instantly crumble

You call out for me
and I've called out for you
Feel you down below
slip deep within
inside my skin
I don't need no boy
I need a man
to fill in this whole
make me feel your sin
inside the skin
I love the fight
of fucking the violence
succumbing to win
to keep feeling you
inside my skin
this is how it will begin
Avoid the break
keep you close
you're to close spillin'
inside my skin
I scream out loud
Keep it coming
I won't give in
inside my skin
Beat of your heart
rush of my blood
I know now
like you knew me then
inside the skin
always
craving
you
inside my skin

My heart lives in my throat
recently. It lives empty and losing its
pulse in my throat. Day by
day it becomes harder
to swallow. I’m on the edge of choking.

I’m on the edge of stillness, of
no more beating. And then I will
choke. I will choke on my
own still, heavy  heart.
I once knew what it meant
to live. I knew what it meant
to breathe and to see and to feel.
I knew passion and love and
happiness. I once knew what it was like
to feel. And now all I know is this
numbness. All I know is this
empty existence. All I know is waking up
each morning with the prospect of the day
ending already consuming my thoughts. All
I know is not wanting to wake up
at all. I do not know feeling any longer.
I do not know breathing or seeing
or living. I know existing for the sake of not dying.
All I know is not dying. That
is what it has come to. Don’t die
today. Wake up
tomorrow. Get through the
day. Wake up. Get through the
day. Don’t wake up. Don’t
wake up. Don’t wake up.

I am on my way to choking.

I had the intention of writing, but there is this immense void where my emotions should be. It is a curious thing..how such an extravagant lack of feeling can suddenly become such a feeling that it is as if you are drowning in a sea of nothingness. I am stationary in an abyss that is filling my lungs with a heaviness I havent yet known. Something has to change before I am consumed by this numbness. Something has to change before I lose my goddamn mind.

There is a ubiquitous
fear
that rests in the darker parts of my soul.
There is a fear so strong,
so palpable,
that it controls my thoughts.
It completely diminishes my capacity for
emotion.

My soul,
the negatives of my life,
have been pre exposed to the harsh rays of
reality
too often to be developed now.
There is permanent damage,
never to be undone.

Damage that one can only become
accustomed to.
So, I will live in fear.

I will live in fear of revealing
too much.
I will live in fear of feeling
too strongly.

I will live in fear of any person
that tries to touch my
mangled
heart. I will live in fear of any person
that tries to sift through the
raging
storms in my mind.
I will live in fear of any person that gets close
enough to touch.

I will live in
perpetual fear.
I will live with the reality of my
destruction
haunting me.

I will live in
ruins
never to be rebuilt.

i'm either not feeling anything
or simply forcing myself to not feel
to grasp my own throat
until i feel i'm about to pass out
and let go as the veins are strained in my neck
and take in that big gust of air my body begged for
as my lungs begin to pump and work again
as my heart leaps and lurches
into all sorts of action, trying to make me feel
but i simply ignore the accusations
of trying to ignore them
altogether
because i just honestly
do not feel
or refuse against the very thought

-
Nothing
is more
scary than
realizing
you still love
the person
you told
you no
longer
want to
talk to.
-

I've been thinking about all the wrongs
I did to you and did while we were together.
And maybe it's that I want to apologize
and maybe it's that I've been feeling weird
all day and this is why.

I don't know what I want.
I want to not want you.
How terribly inconvenient attraction is.
How terribly inconvenient your beauty is to me.
I may regret this later,
after your eyes have chanced upon it
but that's only if you take it the wrong way.

You will never see him again.
This is the last time you get to catch a glimpse of
his smile,
his laughter,
his attitude.
You love him so much
and you don't know how to say goodbye.
So you curl up inside yourself and
remain cool as your soul cries.
You act as though it's no big deal.
"It had to come to an end eventually,"
you say.
But a piece of you has just died.
You turn off the remote and lie in bed.
You are broken.
Your favorite TV show has just come to an end.

Something I'm trying to hide
there is no way I am telling you
Day and night...my heart beats and talks with you..
my feelings is stuck bottled up inside.

My eyes are always hiding
The gleams when it sees you
What if I blurt it out?... exactly how I feel for you?
As real as it is.. pathetic..I am still hiding

The truth is I fear of the way I feel
Fear of this love...like a magician I hide
Appear to be ignorant .. only if you do feel
Everything in me I fold it safely... I keep as I hide...

I hide this feeling ...only because I know
you do feel the same, its obvious you know
been fighting these feelings, we both know..
We cant be lovers, we are friends, yes we do know..

Lets be on the pretext, that we dont know
for many reasons, must kill this love you know..
let it go.. die slowly like a melting snow...
my friendship with you like a river that flows..
a hidden treasure underneath only god knows..
too beautiful.. too worthy to ruin it by three words...I love you!