I'm tired of writing the cheesy words I used to write..
I'm tired of listening to all of their crap..
I'm tired of not reading my own mind..
I feel like a balloon flying up high screaming to fall..
I just don't want to think anymore..
I believe that every truth comes from a lie..
I believe that I'm a lost soul in a pointless life..
Im nothing but careless bones smiling with no whys..
No questions to add just a soul sailing between clouds..
Today is not the same
For you’re not here
I feel so lame
And there is a longing which I hear
You are a part of me
And now you’re gone
I feel that my life is done
And our distance is a great sea
You’re just absent
But I feel that my life is spent
A day without you,
Is what I can’t last
I don’t know what to do
And no one is annoying me
Though I really miss it
For no one’s sittting on the corner chair
I feel that I’m lost in a great fair
You’re the only one,
The greatest reason I wake up
And attend class merrily
Now, I do not know, what will I do?
I’m feeling sadness and pain for you’re far away
With you not in class
With you not on the corner chair
With you not here
With you gone
With you absent
I am not complete
I hope that we see each other the next day
I hope when you see me, you’ll feel better
I hope I can glance at you beauty the next day
I hope that I can feel your presence tomorrow
I hope that when we reunite
I may hug you and say
That I love you!
My time is frozen
But I guess it was just me,
That I could go back,
To that day,
The day we first talked,
Yes, I should have gone out of my shell
Should have smiled,
Should have not been frozen.
Cause you see,
I can't breathe
Whenever you're near
My lips are shaking
Whenever I would try
To say your name,
I always hesitate,
What if there,
What if here,
What if's are on a riot in my mind.
Cause you see,
You're not frozen
You don't feel the way I do,
You breathe easily,
Your lips are tightly closed,
Not a single trace of my name,
Was on those lips,
How I wish I could go back,
'No, go back to your shell,
And wait till it's over.'
There a few things I need to say, and this isn't a poem. its more of a letter or a bitch out. I have seen the crap you post. I don't get u cus u act like u were some innocent victim. Im some horrible lying cunt who broke ur heart. WTF? Let me say my dear boy that I have loved u from day one and I still do. ur the one whos got this anti -me thing going for no reason cus ur afraid of letting your true feelings be felt and delt with. I may have said a fib or two when we spoke online the first time but at least everythg I said then wasn't a complete lie unlike others...... I don't hold that against you. I don't bring that up to you and talk shit about it. You seem to think that just because I didn't ever say I loved you that I didn't... it was so hard for me not to say it or to try and not feel it cus of her sitting in your bed each nite. that's why I didn't ask you stuff cus I didn't want to seem like I was being all nosey and being all in your business. you didn't ever say so I didn't ask. I figured if you wanted to tell me you would. I didn't want you to think I was trying to know your all of ur personal shit. I tried so hard to not have feelings for u and I thought I did a good job but that too was a joke. I have never felt like I do about u. it sucks that we don't talk like we used to and really sucks that we don't see each other....I miss u so fuckn bad. I still cry over u cus u were my perfext match. you are strong where I am weak and vise versa. Ur really great in the areas I need help in and I can help in the ones ur not in. I still want you to read to me. I still remember the things u said to me the first times we used to talk. the time where I fell in total love with u. I pains me to see some of the stuff u say on there. I didn't mean to not ask things or seem interested in you or act like I didn't want you to come over....I did that cus I wanted to see if u really wanted to come over.. um...all I wanted was to be with u from the beginning and I still do but I don't think u will cus your trying your hardest to forget me. I guess im not one to stand out and keep one wanting ......I wish I could erase all ive found out since oct 1st cus it makes it even harder to get over u....I don't want to but its really stupid to keep trying if you have made urself believe that u hate me or convinced yur self u do. I will write more if I remember but I have to go to bed now and I hope u sleep too... It just upsets me that I meant nothing like the others and that uve made urself hate me.....when I cant stop loving u.....this sucks.
For thinking I'm funny
For catering to my whims
For being understanding
For being a gentleman
For being honest
For letting me be free
For letting me swear
For letting me be faithless
For bringing me calm
For making me feel secure
For letting me love you
For opening your heart
For giving me another chance.
I hope I can make you proud.
The emotions I feel...
The emotions in my body.
I feel I stay by my self.
I feel empty.
I feel I'm sad.
I feel no profit.
All this at the same time.
I got a new job, start on a new education, new friends and got an appartment,
but I stell feel I'm alone, empty, sad and no profit.
It's hurt... A lot...
I can lie on my bed, tears falls down from my check, and I fell a big hole in my stomach..
i was supposed to sleep..
somewhat this small pieces still feel the pains..
small pieces so called heart..
you broke it..
i'm over thinking..
lead this brain cell to overload..
i have no regret..
i was listening to Let her go song repeatedly..
i tried to understand the lyrics line..
only miss the sun when it start to snow..
She was only sixteen,
Yet her mind wandered about the galaxies like no other beings can do. She recognized every little details on the fireballs and the faraway stars when no other beings can. She carved the rocks and shaped them like the stars of the milky way. With different kind of hues coloured the atmosphere, she breathed in them all.
She danced her way around Jupiter and hopped on the rings of Saturn and danced like it was her first dance with her groom on her wedding day. She shined like how any other stars would shine. With all her might she pushed herself back to earth like a falling star.And just at the balcony of the house on the corner of that street,
a little boy wished upon her.
He wished upon a wishing star. He looked up to her. He told her his worries.
She was only sixteen,
but her heart felt every little emotions any hearts can and can't feel. She felt things that could forever scar her heart. She felt despair,rage,embarrassed,annoyed,betrayed,hurt,
but also she was inspired,she felt joy,proud,strong and she loved.
The miseries she felt upon being neglect, she dig a hole and found a little dusty emotion in the corner of her heart....hope. She hold onto it,treat it like a child and there faith came up to her and fall in love with hope. She's stronger than any other beings can be as faith and hope unites.
She was only sixteen,
yet she shut her eyes and flee to Neverland with Peter Pan.
"Give me your hands" he whispered.
"The second star to the right,and straight 'till morning" he said. He held her hands and off they went with fairy dusts from Tinker Bell stuck on their icy cold lashes.
To join him and the lost boys.
To be the first lost girl.
To never grow up as the world gets more beastly by minutes.
To forever have a childlike mind and a childlike body.
To escape from the harsh reality and enter the world of immortality where fairies and wisps flew by like it's a normal day for grocery shopping.
She was only sixteen,
but she had hurdled through life with things that the beings in The Wizard of Oz lacks. She tricked manipulators with her wisdom,she showed her betrayers how huge of a heart she has.
She braved herself through all the horrendous obstacles she had to face. Life hit her,hard and just when she got up it kicked her in the stomach and let her bleed. But she saw things differently. She accepted the kick and let all the negativity in her lungs escaped and let all the positive vibes entered her.
With hands as small as an elf's,she opened it and let everything get caught in her hands. Like the net of a fisherman,not everything great gets trapped. But when he's blessed with a huge fortune,big fishes came to him.
The thorns,the sadness,the euphoria...
She accepted everything and smiled. "Thank you" she said everytime.
She was only sixteen,
but she's already a beautiful aurora herself.
Because of that moment, you were led here,
If that had not happened, this wouldn't be
Everything happens, making other things clear
Just never woulda guessed that you'd be so important to me
Simple little actions, fingertip movements, linked us into conversation
An open bridge was built that night for our souls to travel across freely
Emotionally jumped into each others' soulful arms, without hesitation
Each message read was like a piece of our heart that we were inadvertently stealing
Every time your face popped up on my screen,
My heart would nearly skip a beat
Right now, many miles lay inbetween
But in roughly two weeks our bodies will finally meet.
Already in you I've let myself be vulnerable, comfortably
The pictures we paint with words depict something I can really see
I feel each slightest touch as if you were here enveloped in me, effortlessly
We've already raised each others' spirits and expanded frequencies
I think about you being here, or me there, frequently.
Thinking of hugging you instills a kind of peace in me,
Call it tranquility...simple pleasantries..call it anything..
~So long as it involves love~
You say I've done so much for you
But words are never enough.
Just symbols, to represent, stuff
Independent to the perspective
I just hope I symbolized meaning that was effective
How much I care.. I really meant it
Because if I didn't mean the content, I wouldn't have sent it
Hearts on the sleeves with arms extended
For any wound in your soul I wanna mend it.
Anything on your mind you can come to me and vent it.
I at least have a little bit of time left, I wanna come to you and spend it.
We're gonna have to take advantage of time spent, so to not regret it
Already deep within me you are embedded,
Talked so much in a short period, just know everything was true when I said it
Just as it is in the current, riding waves of light that'll promise us at least one night.
Frigid, snowy weather,
yet warm together~
It's our endeavor to better ourselves,
And I'll always be there for you when you need help.
I tend to move in stealth, but I make myself known.
My daydreams, embraced by you feels so at home.
If you're ever down, feeling alone
I'm here, pick up the phone, no matter the time zone
I'll send my electrified vibes flying through the air faster than a drone
some say it's tossed around too much,
But I say too little
They put rules and complications on it,
trying to find an answer to the riddle
I told you I could say it to strangers
But it's hard, romantically speaking,
as if there's impending danger.
But if the feeling's true we shouldn't waiver
For there's no guaranteeing there'll be a later
Even though right now I'm feeling blue,
I have nothing but love for you,
You make me think of brighter colors
Meshing energies like long lost lovers
She was not a cliché kind of beautiful,
but she was not a ‘rare’ kind of beautiful.
She was humanly beautiful, in the most natural way.
She was earthly though she didn’t mean to be, it came easily to her without effort.
She was intelligently beautiful, with wit and charm that came smoothly.
It didn’t make her intimidating though, no no, never.
She was kindly beautiful, in the way that
someone could slap her and she would retaliate with only gentleness,
but that did not make her vulnerable, it made her mature.
But most of all, as many may of seen it, she was physically beautiful.
Not in the sense of a perfect body and flawless features, no, she was beautiful to look at
because her face radiated all her other beauties.
You could see her charm in the way her eyes dazzled, and you could sense her wit in the way
she smirked before she said something.
Her always blushed cheeks eternally made people around her feel comfortable, even if
they disliked her..
for she was understanding and soft, like a young girl.
And lastly, she was beautiful appearance wise.
Though she was not perfect, for the boy didn’t have a definition for that yet,
he found her peaking towards it.
Her smile was not one of a model or an angel.
In fact, in his eyes, her worst feature was her smile, as horrid as it sounded.
To the boy, she had never smiled.
Everytime she laughed or ‘smiled’ as someone greeted her, she looked pained..
like she wanted to cry.
Her smiles were never real, though he knew she wanted them to be genuine.
That was the thing, she was genuine, but her smiles were not.
He knew, as much as she denied it, that her smiles were always forced and never true.
He knew this in the only way one knows when they’re in love.
He’d watched for countless nights as she reached her fantasies, sitting by herself,
books scattered around her as she read her favourite fairytales for the hundreth time.
He watched as she giggled over the same jokes and cried over the same deaths,
but he focused on her especially when she reached her favourite part of the story.
Her eyes would brighten and her shoulders would rise slightly,
and she’d do this silly little thing where she would put her tongue in between her teeth,
that drove him mad, but he grew to love it.
And at last he had seen her smile, as her soft dimples appeared at the corners of her mouth,
and her eyes crinkled ever so slightly, nose scrunching up the tiniest bit.
But just as he found himself getting lost in her beautiful smile, she would look up from her book and leave her world for a while, smile dropping and shoulders hunching as she told him
to get some rest, for every following day to her would be a long one.
And that was how he knew, the girl would never be in love like he was, she would never,
as understanding as she was, grasp that someone could possibly love as madly as he did.
She would never allow him to peek into her fantasies, let alone give him her heart.
But the boy was afraid she already had his in tight grip, and he would never have hers.