Wondering when my time will come,
When happiness will flow through me.
When I can smile without thinking about it,
And everything makes me feel at ease.

When will I find someone,
Who can make me fall
But feel like I am flying.
Who can lift me up higher,
Just by being right by your side.

Is there anyone that can take my loneliness,
And make me feel like you’re right there by my side?
Even if you are miles away,
I can feel you with me in my heart.

When will I find someone,
Who can make me fall
But feel like I am flying.
Who can lift me up higher,
Just by being right by your side.

Hoping someone can take the gray clouds away,
And make it feel like the suns always shining.
Even if it’s just shining in my heart,
I want to feel that warmth in my heart.

When will I find someone,
Who can make me fall
But feel like I am flying.
Who can lift me up higher,
Just by being right by your side.

I was only eighteen when you gave me my first kiss.
I was so nervous I nearly missed.
I was smiling so much you kissed my teeth.
You said after just one month “I love you” and my heart dropped.
I said “I love you too”, but I knew I couldn’t love you that soon.
It was the perfect summer love,
a summer haze.
I was half innocent
and half negligent.
You, were infatuated.
Then one day you moved away and we agreed our love would remain.
I missed you dearly.
It hurt not to have you near me.
I couldn’t take it anymore and I said “baby here I come!”
You said “Shit, here she comes”
What happened?.
You showed your true colors.
Suddenly your words fluttered.
I then knew your feelings had changed.
I thought for while.
You thought for a while.
I knew you were to weak to do it so I did it for you.
I told you “I guess its over, congratulations your the first person to break my heart”.
I had saved my first kiss,
To have it end like this?.
At the moment I was in shock and wasn’t sad at all.
The next day was hell my heart still had your spell.
I wanted to take my heart
out so I wouldn’t feel anymore.
The pain was unbearable.
I would've loved you forever.
Now its been four years and my heart belongs to another,
now my heart flutters.
It’s funny how one nail takes out another.
I saw you once more and my heart felt for you no more.
You called and wrote but sorry my love is no longer yours.
And what’s ironic is that history repeats itself.
Now that other who replaced you is being replaced with someone new.
So now I have learned that life goes on and love kills no one.

Catatonic inscriptions etches through my textile discernment
Insidious cycles of turmoil encased within a festering distress
Uncertainty obscures my comfort into a chaotic complacency
Transforming the subtle movement of thought and bewilderment
Through the re-occurring sequences of paranoia and my uneasy psychosis
Haunting the whole of this psyche and the mental state I've come to fancy

A tell-tale apprehension of merriment and contentment may be a dismal reality
All the while being obsessed with the unfavorable outcomes I conjure within
But, I can't get enough of the disarray that breeds within my frail skull
So distant from what I feel in the ecstasy of my self-selected normality
The meek proposal of sanity has little to hold against these crooked grins
As this chaotic thought process leaves rationality as a vague ideal to null

Expansive introspection has no limit to what is perceived as validity
And, to be enveloped in the ambiguity and delusion of fact is so enticing
We all know that we've all come to recognize the fabrication of our own truth
The futile attempts to obtain an immaculate conviction in pure solidity
Is so wondrously perfunctory and constant as the life that i'm living
That I dread the day of departure from this hysteric observance of aging youth

she walked in,
vodka in hand and
car keys in the other.
breath smelled like
cigarettes and
alchohol mixed.
smelled horrid,
and looked
just as bad.
she stumbled in
and said,
"i will kill him!"
and i believed her.

she has the bruises and
the marks to prove how
angry she should be.

look,
i understand.
i get how you feel.
its about time you
get the help you need and
tell someone instead
of keeping it in
like you did.
thats why you
finally blew
up.

I wanna be near him always;
In his arms,
I wanna be wrapped forever;
I always wanna feel his gentle caress;
His lips,
Always smiling,
Telling me how happy he is whenever he's with me;
His hug,
Makes me feel much loved,
At times, his hugs are so tight
But I don't mind if it's making me breathe hard
'Coz I'm loving the feeling of being in his warm embrace.
His heart...
Am I the one inside it?
I want him to take the bestest care of my heart,
Not because it's my heart which is at stake
But because he is the one inside it.
Most of all,
I wanna hear him saying
"I love you"
It keeps my heart happy.
For those days I'm spending without him,
I am missing him
Because I really do love him.

The eye rolls speak louder than the whispers do.
But they echo either way,
They sliver and slide there way into my ears
and, somehow manage to shoot up my spine,
I feel the words inside of me.

I'm trying extremely hard to keep telling myself
that all they are, are just some vowels and some
consonants;
But they can't be because vowels and consonants
never hurt me before, they've never felt this sharp.
They never left with me wounds.

And I know the letters you're stitching together
that form things like: Her eyes are too close together and,
her chest is too small and, her smile is crooked ,
and she's not nearly as pretty as you, don't worry.

But if you'd give me a second to come over there
and tell you the truth, you'd know that I agree with you,
but if you gave me another second you'd also know that, I
never said I was beautiful.

So the echos hurt, they swim inside of me,
and rub against me coarse, like the scales of a fish.

I just don't understand why they hurt so bad since,
I swear I agree with you.

Abolishing one's heart of true emotion
Leaves an open hole.
A bare, empty, spot
That can never be filled.

You know the kind of sad
That makes your ears ring
Makes your throat close up
Makes everything around you turn to a blur of colors.
The kind of sad where
Holding in all the tears
Still won't make a difference
For the ugly you feel inside.
The kind of sad where
You want people to know
But at the same time
That would mean exposing yourself
To vulnerability.
The kind of sad where everything in your core fights against you
Tells you to stay strong
But in the end
You know it will consume you.
It will always
Get the best of you.