I wish to feel your presence.
I wish to feel your touch.
I wish to see your angelic face.
I wish to see the matured adult you've grown to be.
I wish that we weren't parted.
I wish that you weren't took so young.
I wish that you had a chance, one you deserved.
One I would have given everything for.
I wish I could appreciate the world that surrounds me.
I wish I could see the beauty of it.
But what is beauty when such a cruel thing has happened?
They tell me you’re an angel,
One who had to be free.
But all I hope and wish for,
Is that you’re looking over me.
For even if your existence may not be seen,
I know, my dear sister, you’re with me.
Over the clouds, past the sunlight,
You’re watching with granddad,
The life that I must lead.
x
Do you remember
the last time
you said the words
"I
Love
you"
?
+ + +
I don't
I don't remember
I don't remember
the last time
that I said
"I
Love
you"
I don't remember
when I said it
or to whom
or why
And now I can't escape this
rotting feeling
that this isn't a memory
we should ever out-grow
That this isn't a memory
we should ever out-live
That this isn't a memory
we should ever get
too far away from
Now that I realize it's gone
I feel adrift and lost without it
like a greenhorn just realizing
he's lost sight of shore
for the first time
The sudden realization
that I couldn't remember
that I've lost this memory
that it must've been so long
since I last said it
to anyone
for any reason
that I've lost it completely
sits so alien and unreal in me
That I could've ever lost something
so important
something
that has always just
been there
before
something
that should just be a backdrop
to the rest of my life
now gone
and I didn't even notice it
didn't miss it at all
until now
It's as if I suddenly realized
one wall of my house was missing
exposing us
letting in the whether
and I can't even remember
when it happened
And this is all only preamble
just the lead-in
to the real question
Why?
Why can't I remember?
Why have I forgotten?
Why has it been so long since I last said it?
Why haven't I said it?
Why did I ever stop?
What am I waiting for?
And when I say I love you please believe me because no one has ever loved you
INSANELY
the way I do
And when I say I've never wanted anything more than you please believe me because no one has ever made me feel the way you do.
I can't help but to think of you
Everyday, in all I do
My heart it aches
To hear your voice
Your laugh, your smile
Your rejoice
How could I feel this way?
You made me hurt everyday
I guess it could be
My mother instinct
Just wondering if your okay,
I think about you and wonder
Just that
It haunts me to no end,
I hope you find my
Craigslist ad
And call that number my friend!!
You hold my heart in the palm of your hand
the harder you squeeze, the less that I feel like a man
you crash through, any roadblocks I build
you scratch away at the surface of all I concealed
I might smile the day that you see me
but I cry for the months that you leave me
I guess that Im never enough
when it comes to love.
None of it mattered
as it remains unanswered
flirting with disaster
has no happily ever after
No matter how true
the actions I made
nor the words that I spoke
can not seem to save
The useless attempts to repair
a heart thats beyond broke
i am meant to be alone.
i am meant to live alone,
sleep alone,
wake up alone,
i am meant to be alone.
& i don't know how i feel about being alone.
A lot of people hate me because I like you
Because somehow we ended up together
It comes to a surprise because I never imagined it to be you
I write poetry about you and all my thoughts seem to be about you
Im a sad girl and you might not even know it
because im the type of girl to not even show it
there are so many rumors about me
about what people think about me
but I would never want you to judge
but that's too late
but this is life and this is me
and we have to be real
what is a girl without a past
and no one in my school will ever understand the like I have for you
I used to hate it when people bought you up to me and I had to pretend I didn't know you
I had to hide myself for you
you kept me in the dark
and I hated that
I told myself I would wait for you no matter how long it took because my heart was set on you
and I know sometimes I can be difficult and I don't express myself too often or at all
but I have about a million poems about you that go in my head
Ill admit I was tired of being a secret and my feelings were slowly washing away
and I felt my happiness go with my lost feelings
but then you no longer hid me
I was out there
and I felt so good
I felt amazing
and my feelings grew back ten times stronger for you
and it was unusual for me to have everyones eyes on us and to have people talk down on us
but I got used to it and Id rather have people judge me while im with you than to have people judge me without you
and soon your kisses for me became more addicting and I felt like I could hug you and be happy about it
and that one time
oh my god that one time
I wont even talk about it on here
but I loved it
even if it didn't happen in the best way possible
and I opened everything up for you that day
and I cried because I only did it for you
no one else
and then days passed by and I caught myself missing you
I caught myself fantasizing about you
because no matter what position you were put in
you chose me
and no one will ever understand that
and there are some broken hearts out there
but I had a broken heart when you and I first started talking
a broken heart about my thoughts, me hurting myself and my family
and you patched my heart back up
and I don't think you know that
because to you this might be nothing right now
it just started and not too much happened
so its probably nothing
but you are everything to me
and id do anything for you
you helped me and you don't even know it.
you might have broke me down a few times
but at the end of the day youre mines
and this is what I wanted for the longest
and now I have it
and I feel amazing
you are the best to me
I am in like with you.
May25.
I’ve had this sickness in my stomach
For a few weeks.
Right in the center
Where the butterflies should be
I feel like a rotting flower
And love avoids me
I can’t bloom like I used to
I’ve grown old and ugly
15 Days & Counting
To pass the time
that I have to wait
I read street signs
and count the miles
between the states.
I hope when you arrive
I'm enough for you
I hope you still feel alive
I know that I can make
these hopes come true.
So now it's only fifteen days
which is still a lot and it's still
about two months late
but I can handle the hesitation
because I have the power and will.
When you come to me for the first
time on June 26th, I promise
to kiss you until my lips hurt
and I promise that everything I said
in this poem is completely honest.
I love you with all my heart
Angelface, you've made it all worth it
I hate the times apart
we had to spend, but that time
wasn't enough to make me quit.
Here we are, four months down the line
after the first official moment we met
(disregard the first not-so-happy time)
I was happy that day, it was the best
but, with you home, the best hasn't came yet.
-qtsp- 6/11
Breakup for the makeup, the sex is is poetry within itself. Loving you is bad for me...it's bad for my self esteem, and it's bad for my health. I feel bad when I see how I make you so weak...to see a grown man tear up, and do crazy shit without stopping to think. You love the curve off my hips, the scent of my hair and my soft full lips. The birthmark on my wrist, and the one on my ribs which you never miss to kiss. The tone of my voice when I'm grilling you, the sparkle in my eye....when you recognize just how much I'm feeling you. It hurts me every time when you doubt how much I love you, because you're not the only one strokin'.....but you're the only one I make love to.
And the passionate kisses tell it all. I got up from your lap and slid off your pants, then ripped down your draws. I worked my way down and started slowly, deep throated your love as I played with your.....You ripped me up by my hair so I can tell you're still mad, then you bent me over and slapped my ass, as hard as you could, and then you put him in me and I gripped every inch of your manhood. And you know I can't take it. Your nails dug into my sides, and thrusted so hard thinking I'd run...but you know I can take it. We switched then I started to ride, the anger in your eyes became harder for you to hide. Repeating your insults to you "I'm a bitch, I'm a hoe and I'm so fucking selfish." And I gripped on your neck, just as I felt your legs clam like shellfish. Fast and slow, I like watching your face, so I switch up the pace...and ride fast then slow. "I love you." Now I got you, not a second too early, not a second too late. You flipped me on my stomach and I felt all your weight. You started to pant extra hard and I told you to wait. I wasn't done, you pushed my face into the pillow as I felt you cum. Couldn't bring yourself to pull out.....fin.
But we know how your men swim. And I'm not on birth control so let's pray that I don't get pregnant again.
