This soul you gave
Has lost its way.
It doesn't know who made
It anymore.

This soul, supposed
To feel brought to life,
Feels numb, confused,
A little old.

This soul may be typical,
Or maybe outlandishly wise for its age,
Or maybe it's a rebel,
For all its rightful rage.

This soul in me's got
A little identity crisis,
With mind and matter tuging left
And faith in nature yanking right.

This soul you gave
May be ungrateful--
For all the life and love it has,
It still feels, oh, so hateful!

This soul needs help,
It's lost its way.
It doesn't know what made
It anymore.

i walked into the night,
and felt the cool air's breeze.
stepping away every once in awhile
usually gives me enough to release.
in an attempt to sober up from binge thinking,
i noticed i was alone, moreso than usual.
not a single car on the street,
no single individual.

this is common after midnight
but i thought there had to be someone who is also deprived of sunlight.
it was then that i was blinded by unusual headlights
on a vehicle known as hindsight.  
abandoned the instincts of fight or flight,
because i was curious.  
it turned into my driveway.
it felt as though there were some undiscovered forces at play,
as i lay in wait.

the door opened up, and a man with a bright white aura stepped into view.
i gazed upon his face and then was at a complete loss as to what to do..
he looked at me, smiled, and said, " yes, that particular thought is correct,
i am you.

you needed someone, and so here we are.  
see this distance between you and your true self aren't so far apart.
it gets hard, when dealing with passions of the heart,
but every day, every minute...moment, can be a new start."

Everything happens as it's meant to, though, right?

" destinies are in the hands of everyone who believes it,
but most don't see to seize it."

are you, God? an Angel?  a jester in disguise?

"you naturally won't want to accept this statement initially,
but i will tell you no lies.  i am from a faction of lightbearers,
to help illuminate the path.  the variables you add and subtract though, changes the outcome like math, heh heh."

where am i to go?

" you are not to know, yet, what's the fun in that?"

true, but then what about this,' shedding light on the path'?

"all that is within you, is everything.  unlimited potential and power to benefit the universe.
before i disperse back into the cosmos, i am here to ensure that your own light grows.  the love you emit causes radiated blooming within the chakras of others, but your aura has diminished, do you know why this is?"

fear?

"love."

but wait..

" embrace all that you are, Ryan.  i needed to remind you that you are loved deeply.  take care of yourself, so to not be the cause of your own reaping.  your efforts are never exhausted, i see and appreciate all you do, with a smile.  now go the extra mile, cross the line and let your divine shine through.  you are never alone, remember things from the past you wrote.  every word still holds true.
i must be leaving, but listen to what's inside when you're unsure of what to do.  Namaste, Ryan."

but wait! who really are you??

as I stood in bewilderment, he ascended into the sky with a smile, and his vehicle disappeared.  
would this interaction have happened had i displayed my primal urges of fear?
when he was no more than a sparkle in the eye that is the ever-expanding sky
i didn't feel so dry and lifeless, but rather moist with creative juices from all that sunk in.
and the warmth, it was a love you could touch without touching.
this is what i was missing.
and so when reminiscing, i show gratitude and blissful appreciation,
because too much can be lost in the translation of contemplation.

I've got your eyes locked on me now & I can feel every drop of the hot pain pouring from them. You are longing for a glance returned but I am busy sending all of my loathing to the boy staring at my hands from across the fire pit. His knees are alligned with mine & she's lounging between them. I'm so sick of hating every inch of him. I swore I'd stop but his lips are bleeding from that bite she gave him and I don't think I can. I'm sitting on your lap and I know just what you're thinking. You're breathing down my neck like you're begging. I'm begging to get out of this life. For all the pain that I distribute, there's gotta be some feeling left for me but I can't fucking find it. . I wish I could love you as hard as I loved him. I wish I could love you as hard as I hate him. I wish with every fiber of my being that I could love you at all. I wish I could feel the butterflies that are floating in you. I could tell that they're making a scene beneath your skin by the path your fingers take up and down my spine. I'm so sorry sweetheart

I sensed the pureness and innocence in your sacred space
I saw a part of me in you
I've never met someone I felt affinity to before
But now I feel dead around you
You've lost your authenticity
You are now a puppet under their spell
You are letting your beautiful heart be consumed by darkness and evil
This is not who you are, I know because I felt the real you
Everyone is born pure and innocent
Please don't let it take you
I got sucked in for a while, became evil like you
Lost, and confused in emptiness
I now focus on healing myself and let the love and light enter my heart
I feel whole again
And I still want to one day remind you to really see and feel
The light and pureness of unconditional universal love that is with in you

The night has fallen, yet the sky is a light shade of gray
The morning sky is pink like a dainty rose
The snow sparkles in the evening when the street lights shine upon it
My eyes crinkle in laughter, and tears drip down my cheeks
City lights bounce and reflect off of the lake
Friends are there to back me up
The biggest, ugliest birds look majestic in the sky when migrating South
Something looks so perfect, and I wish I had a camera to capture the splendor
A book intrigues me so much that I zip through it and don’t remember a word
I can share all of my secrets with a person I just met
My hands graze the water that rushes past the boat I am in
Something so terrible turns out to be something wonderful
I experience a literal OMG, ROFL, LOL, or LMAO
The wet sand oozes through my toes
I get a perfect score on a test that I studied hard for
I feel the cool, frigid water slap my red hot face
A song fills me with extreme adrenaline
The wind hollers, whines, and moans outside of my window
A tree starts one inch tall, and grows to be one mile tall
Someone tells me that I have inspired them
People compliment me on my work
I am able to get in front of people and be honest with them
My body feels rejuvenated and young
The veins on the back of my hands pop out and pulse rapidly
I can feel the hot air blowing on my face when I roll down the car windows
My legs are smooth because I have just shaved them
A poem seems perfect to me…

We sell two albums on itunes you can buy them and sample them if you search loud with love  thank you !




im just being me, myself
it's hard at times though
but ill be me whether or not the suns out

I'm just being me, no one else
standing in a line, soaking energy from something else
and I'll be me, whether or not they accept me now

I'm just being me, ask someone else
they'll tell you I been me all along
true words coming out their mouths

cuz I've been me since the day I was born
dont let no man conflict it
let um um all be fare warned

Ill be me
you be you
do whatever it is you want to
ill still be being me
regardless of what i get put through
ill keep my smile on as i get to where i get to

could find another way
be someone else today,
but it just would feel right
being me is too tight
toot my own horn
push my own buttons
nobody else is me
wouldnt trade it for nothing

so Imma be me
you be you
go wherever it is that youve got to run to

imma be me
imma be here
hope this is what you need to see things clear

we sell two albums on itunes if you search loud with love  thank you!



im feeling more comfortable in my own skin
im mostly water and im living
and on the day to day i try my best to sleep
eat, bath, brush repeat

got a little skill, hardly any scrill got alot of opportunity
mostly holes to fill

im grateful though, fortunate, and a fool
comfortable in my skin cuz its how i wanna feel

comfortable in my own skin cuz it's what i got
you cant choose what skin you get at birth so rot
racism needs to die, it needs to bleed
hunger needs to be demolished in the streets
i feel like sometimes im just repeating what some people are saying
but original is what i spray
did the work did the math
my skins just a sack
for my soul to reach
im in discreet
my skin someday will leave me
but for now I'm comfortable in my own skin