In your arms again
It was like my world set fire
But this fire did not burn nor demolish
Only illuminate
It brightened life for me
Gave me strife
Gave me a reason to fight
For both of our lives
I vowed I would always love you
And I have yet break that vow
My heart loves you more
Than yesterday
And more than two days ago
My love has grown
And has become a part of this fire
I feel your arms wrapped around me
I find it's much easier to see this way
Because the fire of love burning within our chest
They meet and together we burn as bright and beautiful
As the northern lights.
I crave the caress
I can't remember if Jessica or .4 milligrams
Makes me happy- I would lick the wound
Between her legs or
Wash her Filter her Suck her through cotton
And fuck-pull a vein all blue and orgasm
Like the 1st time again
I drempt awake
I could taste/smell her
On the bed sheets
And the form serpentine constricting
Flow purple and black dying of thirst
Aching until the skin is broken
A little sweet blood drips out and runs
Down between the knuckles
Playing warm on nerve endings like poetry
She left some ugly scar tissue
But she would suck god
Off .4 pills- and leave him
Emptiness Formless
Their screams in my face
Seems like an echo of a whisper
If you come in this house again
We call the cops
A thief and a liar are brothers
And they do not change in time
I forgot to feel
Even as her legs
Constricted me
Fuckin' deeper
I drempt that my heart stopped
And for the first time in ten eons
I was...what's that word?
Happy
There was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
I think I could fall for you,
cuz you make me feel amazing.
When I see you I light up.
When I walk with you I feel secure.
But you aren't mine.
So I let you go.
If you choose to stay, stay.
If you choose to go, go.
But I won't cling.
I won't clutch,
because I still need to be me.
Being alone is not that bad,
just with you life is beautiful.
But I must stay me.
So I let you go,
not for yourself,
but for myself,
because I can't lose myself in you.
Someday, if it works out,
then we shall be happy together
because we each shall be whole.
So, my dear,
if you stay, then stay,
but if you must go,
then you can go.
I will always be here.
I will always be whole.
Thank you for helping me be me.
Some days I feel as if I should try harder to impersonate rivers. Flow along my set path,
over the bumps and rocks and irritating tree roots, and let the current take me.
Other days I want to set my own path.
Be ignited by lightening in a forest and chew through anything barring my way.
It's hard to trust fate
when you are always told
to write your own story.
I am not ten feet tall and bullet proof..
Despite my every attempt, I don't know what to do.
I am weak, I get lost, I fall down, and I feel pain..
And every single day, I get back up again.
I hide behind music, I pretend that I don't care..
But no matter how far I run, You are still there.
You give me the strength that I can't find.
You fill me with Your love when I can't handle life.
I AM NOT ten feet tall and bullet proof. Though someday, I WILL BE.
When I become as strong as a rock, and KNOW You're with me.
When I feel Your fire which burns as hot as a million suns.
And when I can finally show the same love as Your Son.
I WILL BE Ten Feet Tall and I WILL BE Bullet Proof.
I WILL BE a testament to Your love. I WILL KNOW You.
a lot of times,
i remember moments of once being happy
and it makes me even sadder,
to realize that i forgot how that feels
all i have left of the common feeling is the memorize relating to it
and i will hold them forever
until i can eventually feel it again
Many promises I receive,
never bother to get any written, on paper,
as this is a continuous marathon one after the other.
If your eyes tell me that they love me, I believe, that's enough,
for the elation I need to take me forward, till the end of this road
Come with me for a distance , I'd love you for eons, for those moments,
our affinity remains mutual, till the story reaches the point of culmination.
All long journeys have moments of excitement, love and disappointment,
don't you feel your heart hurt on seeing that teardrop on the corner of my eye,
I have seen the same clouds of pain, in your skies though you tried to conceal,
Someone greets at the end, where one hangs the horn, needs only a drink of water and falls.
Thank you very much, sincerely HP friends, each and every one!
Thoughts of you
swirl in my mind,
and remain stagnant in my heart.
Oh, how they haunt me so.
There are so many words
left unsaid by me;
words that may
never reach your ears.
These words would bring
to me much needed solace.
Simply said, they would dissipate
the shadow that
follows me everywhere;
this same dark shadow that makes me
question every step I have made,
and every step I am about to make.
My words left unsaid
will remain as such,
as time is needed
to heal the loss I now feel,
before I can face you and say,
word by word, what I feel -
what I will always feel.
“I love you, I miss you,
and I need you.
I want you in my life.
I am sorry for my indiscretions.”
When these words
have finally been said,
I hope, we both find comfort
in knowing that as your friend,
I will always be there,
wishing you well and
hoping that life fulfills you.
Vicki A. Zinn
2008
As I sit here alone,
thoughts of you fill my head.
I go over and over
what you meant to me,
what you still mean to me.
You touched my heart,
like no one before.
Our memories totally surround me,
with every waking moment -
they are the last things I feel
before I retire at night.
Dreams of you weigh
on my mind and wake me.
This is when I miss you the most.
Our lives are on different paths now.
You are taking time
to figure out what you truly want,
even though I already know,
but have no control over it.
My wants rest in your hands.
So, I tread forward,
pretending that all is well,
while inside, I feel like I am dying
without your love -
your love that supported me;
your love that sustained me.
your love that completed me.
Now, I am lost without it.
You have asked
if we can still be friends?
I knew this would be
hard for me to do,
even after all of the hurt.
So, I took some time
to mend my heart,
and I learned to forgive you -
with open arms
I welcomed you back.
Things are going well,
however, I remain so guarded.
I know that I must be this way,
so as not to be misled.
You tell me that you understand.
Yet, truly, do you realize
that I have given you one last chance -
one last chance to remain a part of my life?
This is all I can afford to give you anymore.
I am trying to move forward each day,
by taking small steps,
instead of one giant leap.
Sometimes I feel like
I am making progress;
other times, I feel like I am failing.
Time is all I have during my transition.
One day, all wounds shall be healed.
Time will tell what becomes of us.
One thing I know for certain is,
even though I am moving forward,
you will always feel
my spirit close by -
this same spirit
that will always care for you
and wish you well.
Vicki A Zinn
2008
I remember the first time I met you;
we looked into each other's eyes
and were mesmerized.
I remember the first time we danced;
you held me tight and kissed my lips.
I remember our many hours of sitting,
hand and hand on the couch,
and how I would just stare at you.
I remember the first time you said,
‘I love you’,
on the night that all celebrate
the coming of a New Year.
With our thoughts intertwined,
I remember how we could
finish each other’s sentences
and how we would laugh
at each other's jokes.
I remember most how we
could make each other smile.
I finally believed I had found
the one to complement me.
I remember how you would sing to me;
it would make me feel so heavenly.
My heart would beat so quickly
each time I heard your voice.
I remember our long conversations,
about life and love,
and how much it meant to us.
You told me that I
was everything you ever wanted.
I remember our dreams
of living together
as one happy family.
The vision we longed so much for.
I remember most,
how much you once adored me
and could not get enough of me.
I finally believed I had found
the eternal love to complete me.
I remember how I truly felt
you were my soul mate;
that a higher power
brought us together for a reason.
I remember how I stood beside you,
through the good times and the bad -
you knew you could
always depend on me.
I remember,
at your weakest moment,
I pulled you through -
you knew that I
would never turn you away.
I remember most, how you said,
I was the reason you
were the man you had become.
I no longer know what to believe.
But for now, I am filled
with grief of our memories,
which consume my thoughts,
and flood my heart.
I ask myself,
“What was so wrong with us
that you chose to end things the way you did?”
I am so lost, and oh so lonely,
since the day you said goodbye.
I wonder if one day
the different paths we are now following
will ever meet again?
I am now left to pick up
the pieces of my life,
while you seem to not have
a worry in the world.
You say that you still love me,
yet, you want to be free.
I know that I still love you,
and wish we could go back
to the way we once were, together.
With time, do you think
you could feel the same?
Is it truly possible
after all of the hurt caused?
I still believe
we made the perfect couple.
We truly were happy, at one time.
Just know that I remember,
I will always remember.
Vicki A. Zinn
2008
