scaled your apartment in one of my favorite dresses
right before sundown
watched the wind billow the blue silk up my thighs,
parachute like
as i looked down,
several stories above your neighbors
(wonder if anyone looked up)
swallowed my human fear, counted the rungs
had opened our forties prematurely in your apartment
sure didn't make climbing any easier
that big map stretched out yawning across the bricks in your living room
spotted the city you were headed for
blame it on uninformed geography but didn't
realize you'd be completely across the country
(didn't tell you but
your cat kissed my nose from the bathroom counter
while i was peeing
and i thought it was one of the most endearing things
that probably ever happened to me)
got to your roof outta breath
all adrenaline and eyes
took off that big leather jacket lined with fleece,
wrapped it around our backs and sat
facing the city you'd be leaving and i'd be entertaining
watched the traffic crawl on the BQE
the sunset bored, you spilled your beer-
kept rolling in it innocently- stoned
laughing, god i just
wanted to keep touching you
couldn't decide what to eat
both didn't wanna impose
neither of us could remember the name of that tree
littering pink slippery offspring in spring
for you and me to exclaim fondness over
you were the birth of a simplicity
it was so
terribly easy to be happy
So you're saying you're proud and
Grateful to have so much freedom, opportunity and wealth
Well, I'm not.
Sociocentrism is an ugly, unnatural state
Everything we have takes away from someone else
We try to pretend there's no connection, that the plight of others is cause by their own failing
That we are deserving
Convinced that this is all here for us
We take and take and take
But every terror we inflict on anything "else" is a terror upon the self
We protect our so called civil liberties with wage slavery, chemical abuse, and ecological terrorism
Profit baby, profit über ales
Well congratulations to us
This is nationalism at its finest
No, I'm not fucking proud of it
If you want to take credit, be my guest
Just ask India about policies of profit over regulations, about denim and dye and death
Ask Mexico about farming, their take on the "Fair Trade Act"
Ask the rainforest if it remembers what it was like to have trees
Try to find an Arawak to ask anything
Ask 63 countries what it feels like to have a US military base keeping watch
And what would happen if another country tried to build a base on this soil
Or maybe ask why you never learned shit about any other country
Much less about your own
Back in History class
Survival of the fittest, you say?
A dog eat dog world?
Alright, let's play
This country is overrun by dogs, that's true
But honey, we're not eating any other dogs
We're eating poison and calling it food
While our leaders give Monsanto handjobs under the table
We are "the world's leading nation" and we're dropping like flies
No, not dead
Just into hospital beds and prison cells
Our country is filled with poverty, racism, violence, and terror
Not to mention obesity heart disease depression anxiety and PTSD
We're over-medicated malnourished and spiritually starved
We're pissed off at a whole lot of bullshit
That means nothing in the scheme of anything
Fully engaged in the myth of a two-party system
Even though most of what we see and hear is merely distraction
Thank you, media, all 6 of you big beautiful monoliths
I'm so lucky I have the opportunity to be informed!
We're a nation divided by details
While our leaders run in circles pouting fat fingers at each other
Engrossed in this thing we call "politics"
Highly effective
I'm really glad you're proud
They say ignorance is bliss
But I think it's more like a shiny polyester suit
Holding together a parasite infested mess
Sitting in a recliner after a hard days work of trying to stay afloat on a mountain of debt in a drowning economy
Bottles of medication on the table, GMOs in the fridge
Quietly doing what they're told
Never wondering why
Falling asleep to the glow of the TV whispering fear and terror, us and them, buy and buy and buy
The sweet purr of "freedom"
A father
Two fathers
I have two
Well, I have one
He cares for me. He is there.
Occasionally, he annoys the
ever
living
daylights
out of me
and he admits that
he cannot understand me
and that that frightens him more than anything.
I want to tell him that my ever present sadness
and the fear which, at times, threatens to vibrate my bones to jelly
till it drips out and down my fingertips
sticky and hot and red red red
I want to tell him that it is not all his fault
But my other father.
I never knew him
but mom says I have his wit
and his artistic flare
she only said that once
and we both cried
tried to email him
round about a year ago
no response
It is your fault, in part
not yours alone
but I cannot help but to resent you
you coward
nothing but a coward
left me when I was not even out and in the light
never once did my blue eyes see you
Did you know?
They look like yours.
A father
Two fathers
I have two
Well, I have one
There Is But One Law
(The Dancer's Coda)
There is but one set of laws,
One that need be obeyed,
One that brooks no heresy,
One that gives no absolution.
One that needs no priests, no canons,
One that that refuses disobedience.
We all bend knee at altar invisible,
Though feasance never requested.
The Laws of Physics.
A body at rest, a body in motion.
Laws immutable, unconditional,
Equations, proofs, demonstrable,
Inequalities inexcusable, banished.
Dancer says:
I am heretic, even these laws I refuse.
My body denies limitations,
My mind believes I will make do
What it could not, but yesterday.
Defiance from wire to wire is the
Fuel in my veins, fear but a detail,
Leaping from from ten meters more,
My Declaration of Independence.
My body plastic, my mind ethereal,
Some mock, call it trickery,
Some hail, call me hero.
There are forces greater than mine,
Forces irrevocable, mathematically superior.
Each day my force grows as well,
Visions imagined supersede the
Tedium of definitions, of boundary lines.
Bend the law, conquer the null, fill the void.
Each day sketch, devise, organize a
New rebellion, follow only one command,
Honor but a single battle cry.
Leap, then fall!
That dancer, your only law,
That heretic, thine only coda.
Action is freedom.
For you are dancer,
Whisper as you leap:
The Fifth Freedom I possess,
The Freedom to Fall.
May 17th, 2013
My callouses have cracked and split.
I am covered with wounds.
But there is no fear, for the coming heat will
cauterize all and harden my metal.
There is work to be done, an Art to be conquered.
I can see the way and have broken through crystal barriers before.
I am the Time.
Backward-man loves his dog.
Ties him up before and after
His walks, likes to goad his pet
Too, speaking as the weather wails
And howls then dog looks down,
Sad on his master dumbfounded.
A chain is worn as it scrapes
The ground connecting dog
To his master. They both love
The sound of it hissing as it strikes
The concrete pathways, sometimes
Man and dog feel free, not a part
Of each other, the chain may break,
And fear is for forks in the road,
The rusty pockmarked grip of his links
Have always been there on walks
Ahead and behind though it makes
Things confusing as if in a dance
And sometimes they wonder which way
They might end up after all—
And when the dark and golden
Rope, as always, is finally tied
To some old fruit tree, the man
Is happy his dog has both sun
And shade, but also has joy watching
Dog beg for ripe apples he cannot
Reach. Some people might come
To think that dog thinks those apples
Are not for eating. Everyone loves
Fruit, don't they?
Backward-man built his dog
A house as cold as a three-
Storied barn, out of things
He could not afford, things much
Too good for dog to not care
About, maybe man built dog's
House for himself, he cannot
Really impress his dog.
Backward-man likes to think
He knows what dog is saying.
Barks and whimpers have deep
Meanings, 'world is a good place,'
Dog says, but when pooch says,
'World is cruel,' crying, disobedient
Whines gets him a serious kick
Out of old anger from backward-
Man. And man can be a hell-
Hound on his own, the way
He twists and unravels the things
He needs, like truth and food
And love— that goes without
Saying for backward-man hates
His woman, but loves his dog.
**What is fear?
Its panic, terror, scare, horror, dread and phobia and many others.
Some have fear of Heights,Some have of Ghost
Some are scared of dark and some of death
Some are scared of test and some of not being the best.
People say to face your fear and make it go away
Tackle it down stand your ground don't turn around because your afraid it will scare you to death.
Its not the fear of the these things but the fear is the fear itself, fear of being afraid.
My biggest fear is to fall in love.
But is it really scare of being in love?
Is it really terror of letting your walls down and letting someone in your heart?
No not really
Then what is it?
I finally realize its the Fear of getting hurt, trusting someone with all your heart.
Fear of giving your heart to someone cause its not amendable.
Cause you cant take it back.
So yeah my biggest fear is to fall in love with someone.
Oh lovely, a new friend.
Would you be so kind to listen to my story?
I need to tell someone as I fear I may be going insane.
If you are going to listen to my story, could you please try not to judge me?
Oh, what’s that?
You’ll listen to my story?
And you won’t judge me?
Oh well, isn't that just lovely.
Now, the question is where do I start?
Too dark to see,
Too far to reach,
Too large to ignore,
Yet we sit waiting.
Waiting for what might one day be visible,
Maybe on a special occasion be in our grasp,
Possibly shrink enough to ignore.
Now,
Hopelessly waiting will do nothing.
Hopelessly waiting will water the seed never intended to grow.
The only way to stop it…
Conquer the unknown…
Explore the depths of reality…
Is to leap.
Shred the odious black hole that rages within.
Smash it into the mud.
Burry it in the ocean.
Suffocate it with courage.
And then, there will be no fear. Only accomplishments.
