You like to hear the sweet
tinkling of the sound of your name on
his lips,
like wind chimes that carry melodies in the warm breeze.

You've thought and smiled to yourself,
knowing the sight of your presence lights up
his face,
as do the sun’s rays which touch a sleeping rose at dawn.

But you are unwilling to know anything tangible—
like the warm refuge his beating heart lends your
cheek resting on the stable soft surface of
his chest,
as does the nutrient rich soil that blankets the earth.
Or the goosebumps that would sweep your back caressed by
his fingers,
approximate to the population of monarch butterflies perched in every tree.  

Because fun and games don’t get old or tiring,
as you and last relationship did.

And it’s easier to romanticize past
bliss—
indulge in the comfort of misery,
than to risk the springtime of your being
on someone who may pull every
bloom from its roots
once more.

Someone who may freeze every
feeling,
in and on your body, so that
nothing but the heat of your tears will thaw
and water the seeds of true emotion
that eventually will grow
again.

Turn on the television to see families in war
All this fighting turning into a bore
What you see is a backdrop, the setup, a show
These producers are scumbags at the bottom below.
Relationships and scandals to match your delight
You really want to know what they did last night?
All of this is to fill up that useful time
Useful, I guess, but this exposure is a crime.
Do you really even care how her dress looked that night?
Is it a big surprise that he got in a fight?
Does it matter in the end that he's sold a million records?
Is that little fact really true, or just something you heard?
We're all entertainment, all actors in a way
Your life is now open and you're on display
You've entered the business, you've gotten the part
As of this moment, you're at the bottom of the charts.
But don't you lose hope, you'll get up there somehow
They'll take your normalcy and amp it tenfold for now
You're the face in the crowd until you make your name
And secretly we all want those fifteen minutes of fame.
It takes a while to get there, a strenuous time,
The prize at the top might not be worth the climb
But, hey that's your choice- it's your faults that they want
So make your blemishes pretty- get out there and flaunt.
Give them your smile, your secrets, your lovers
You can hide all you want but it's too easy to discover
The media is waiting, darling, go say something witty
Be charming, don't forget, they love something pretty.

Anger consumes my body, like fire from hell
My body keels over from lack of food
Food which I purposely neglected to provide
Hate, abuse, deceit and anger take over me
Pure ugliness, staring me in the face
People that are supposed to care, supposed to love
Who claim to care and claim to love
Yet seem to me as wolves in sheep’s clothing
Wanting to control me, dominate me, constrict me
Who crush me over and over again
And wonder why we are always butting heads
Sadness creeps in my heart, but it is not mine
And it saddens me more that I feel her hurt
My heart aches for love, for touch, for affection
It longs to love and to be loved
But all it receives is sadness and pain
Crying out for love, my body cries too
Not with tears, but with blood
A deep crimson red running out of me
Staining everything in its path
As this blood runs out of me, so does my strength, my energy
I am exhausted and long to sleep
But my mind is forever going, going, going …
Why? Why? Why? Why?
The question of a thousand why’s consumes me …
Threatening to crush my very soul.

I think you're lovely
I know you don't feel like you are
but I really wish you could see through my perspective
because I catch the glimmer in your eyes
when you see your nephew running towards you
or the grin that widens across your face when you get to help someone who is in need
even though you might not have much to give
I think you're lovely because I get to witness all the little parts of you
that define who you are
Such as the way you constantly tap your pencil when you're trying to focus
or when you involuntarily bounce your leg rapidly up and down
the way your lips move when you talk
and the way you hold me tighly against you when it's time to go
but most of all
I think you're lovely
because you make me feel lovely too

It’s nothing, really, just a scratch
I’ll simply leave it be.
Oh look, it’s formed a little bump
It’s right here on my knee.

Oh crap, another, is this a rash?
It’s spreading ‘cross the skin
My hands feel like they’re cushioning
A thousand tiny pins.

And on my back there’s one to match
The large mark on my face.
How ever did I get myself
Into this painful place?

Then the bites, as one big batch
Began to turn and itch
“Enough!” I said, “I can’t stand it
These things hurt like a bitch!”

Sadly, I realized there’s a catch
I cannot mess with those.
For if I do, they’ll multiply
Like sharp thorns on a rose.

I hear a buzz and I snatch
A mosquito from the air.
I guess they knew in biting me
That I would really care.

6/16/2012
(c) MDC

Welcome to the Land of Upside-Down
Where sad faces smile and happy ones frown.
Place your coat on the floor and shoes on the rack,
Enter my home and don’t ever come back.
Stand up on the chair and sit on the table,
Only four legs, but it’s still unstable.
Problems arise from nothing at all
With a chance of answers being very small.
Everything is good when in fact it’s all wrong
And you hide it, pretending to be strong.
Your face tells the truth while your words deceive
Causing more pain than you’d like to believe.
Sitting on that table, your silence tells me everything
Knowing the truth makes your conveyance forever sting.
While you make sense in your confused state-of-mind
Your issues feed on my clarity and become intertwined.
So remain on that shaky table as I leave the room
This lively lying home is now your lowly loathing tomb.
As you knowingly forget your atrocious crimes
Remember in this land I see them a thousand times.
And I will remain here, snared by your Goddamned traps,
Even when the world passes on, here t’will never collapse.
Welcome to the Land of Upside-Down
Where hope lives in despair as wishful dreams drown.

10/6/2009
(c) MDC

We find our heroes
         (as is so common)
         in the throes of agony.

         pacing.

Describe a room
any room
fill it with booze, let it
leak brown and bitter
from the open windows.

       don't mind the curtains

set your face in the upper left corner
pan across to them, naked and fuming
zoom.
straight to her powerful collarbones
       (stay above the nipples,
         just a hint of cleavage)
his wrinkled jawline,
the half-inch neck stubble.

keep the shoulders in frame
how they tense, how they painfully
shrug and anticipate the next
verbal battalion.

watch their hands wave away
the demons of past nights        (read: last night)
give us the soft stomp of bare feet
on beaten carpet                        keep the stains.

their teeth reach out from
under the cover of wet pinkness.
take a second (slow-motion)
to appreciate the strands
of abandoned spit reaching from
one lip to the next
like suspension bridges.

the sounds are invisible,
but the pain is not

       and the bruises
        won't be either

• Part I
  
  I feel the sunshine,
  The warmth and the beauty
  Of it on my face.
  
  Sunshine in my heart
  Making me sing a sweet song,
  A sweet melody.
  
  Sunshine in my face,
  Leaving me it's pretty grace,
  Of it's love so warm.
  
  Sunshine in my head,
  Making me think of my friends,
  And my parents dear.
  
  Sunshines on you, friend,
  Makes your heart light and happy,
  Makes you feel carefree!
  
  Makes you want to dance,
  Through fields of everlasting
  Sweet and soft flowers.
  
  Sunshines through dark,
  Making everything light,
  It is day again.
  
  Sunshine forever,
  Even through dark times in your,
  Beautiful-bright life!
  
  ~Marian~

What is equality?
But an eight letter word,
Shot down by pathetic attempt to make it real.
What is used?
Who can stop the ominously eerie sky from encroaching on a one beautiful legend?
Left behind to face dispair,
Constant thoughts and motions releasing explicit actions and words for the world to see.
Gaze upon the broken,
Push the weak,
Stomp on the hopeless.
Watch them break and shatter one last time.
Disintegrating dust gets lost in the wind,
Slowly moving to the back of a faded memory.
Just another face lost to the long forgotten sorrow.

Somehow, you were brought here,
How, I wish not to know,
One morning I’ll rise and,
You’ll announce you must go,
For you’ll see through the beauty,
That I play and present,
And horrified you’ll be,
Whilst I’ll crave your scent,
Your skin and your hands,
Your icy blue eyes.
How can I know,
Your “I love you”s aren’t lies?

I trust you, I do,
Protect though myself,
Yet I’ll face harm for you,
Surrender sane health.
All my foe, my lover,
My best fucking friend,
I’m scared you’ll be scarred,
If you stay ‘til the end.
So run now if you must,
I am made for that pain,
If you stay forever,
I shall not be the same