you called it a flaw
that brick wall you build around yourself
whenever anyone gets too close.
and until tonight, i think you had me convinced.
until tonight, it was nothing more than a barrier
preventing me from seeing the girl
i love so much.
the girl i haven't seen in awhile
because every time i catch a glimpse
and try to chase her around the corner
i always run face first into that damn wall.
but tonight, i realized it isn't just a brick wall,
carefully crafted throughout the years
consequences of experience,
full of intricate details
but nonetheless serving its purpose.
each brick was placed intentionally,
aligned and angled perfectly
into a beautiful masterpiece.
you called it a flaw
but after tonight
i finally understand why it's there
you let me in and i got too comfortable
i let down my guard and fucked up my words
i'll never know why i said that, nothing's further from the truth
but i will never be able to convince you otherwise.
i could write a million words explaining
who you are to me
and what you've done for me
and how much you've given me
but it would be futile because i've contaminated
that crystal clear pool
with mud that cannot be washed away.
you let me in
and now i'm just another brick to be
added to your masterpiece.
Her rosy cheeks were red just like her lips.
Her laughter gave light but her grin was coy.
With dark midnight hair that grew down to her hips,
And eyes set on a handsome dark haired boy.
His wondrous eyes gazed o'er her pale sad face.
His heart was set on an other sweet girl,
A more free soul with elegant grace.
She could not compete with her golden curls.
Pondering all day that he'll take her hand
But leaves her restless and singing the blues.
Hoping one day he'll see and understand
That all those grins and talks were more than clues.
Sitting by the keys when she's feeling down,
She'll belt her voice and produce her own sound.
In the twilight light
That casts shadows in the day
The cold creeps at the October edges of my single pane windows,
And seeps into my cheaply heated home with newspaper insulation
It catches my toes, and walks up my white hands and reaches for my face by nose
The cold grasps firm and goes deep
And in the chilly dieing light
I found a picture of you laughing, tucked into a book I was going to give you
Suddenly I am dragged back to the moment when I fell in love with your soft indian eyes.
And your freckled cheeks drawn in an eternal smile
I loved your black hair and your carefree way
The cold is not cold enough for this,
I open a window and the back door.
I finish my drink to the whiskey sharp bottom,
I cast off my blanket and sit as wind comes in.
The cold is not yet cold enough
I add ice and vodka to my drink
Hoping for Russian absolution
But in the freezing flesh core of my sad meat suit,
As the temperature drops to negative numbers
My stupid heart still beats for you
And the cold is not cold enough for this.
Where have all the Peacemakers
Have they gone awry
Have they gone astray
Have they all died away?
What exactly are they doing
We face a universe's
On this small blue speck
Ants on an anthill
In the middle of the forest
Just off this path
Slaughtering each other
Miniscule mound of sweat.
We knock on the door
I'm hungry please let me in
When I'm hungry enough
I'll kick that damn door in.
Where have all the Peacemakers gone?
Whose coming with the light of dawn.
Every night on the news
The death report reports
And the cumulative sorrows weep
For the innocent
While genocide marches
Through the streets.
I can hear their cries from here.
Tell me dear
Where have all the Peacemakers gone?
Has the universe
In its insatiable hunger
Killed each and every one?
I watch the apocalyptic
And I can't help but feel so
So I reach out to you
And bury my face
In your breast for a
While in my heart are all
Of all the generations
Who have asked this before
Where have all the Peacemakers gone?
i wonder if you know that the same route
to your house in the daylight is different at
night. the road turns to currents and the
buildings are coral blooming in their lawns,
the sand gardens. the headlights of cars
are tiny fish catching the edges of mirrors
in the water’s light, bleeding white and gold
that fogs the windshield, an ethereal tide of
loss and shadow and muffled music.
i wonder if you know the second time i went
to see you i couldn’t swim fast enough. you
make me feel lightheaded, you turn my lung
over in your palm until it becomes a windpipe,
you smother my piccolo heart until it pierces a
hole through the sky with its sound. i’m spinning
out through my ears for you, rushing to a beat
with drunken feet, wide eyed and slick bird winged
with a panicked pulse. it was still warm and i guess
the weather tricked me into thinking it was a
temperature my kind could survive in, for you.
i wonder if you know when i saw you in the
doorway you looked more brilliant than all
the shimmering roadsigns from my best
unmapped memory, uncharted like your
wildflower stem wrists. i’d like to get lost
in your underwater mind, wade in the
swampy sadness with my fingers
twisted in algae. we’re not that different,
i wish you knew. you are more magnificent
than every hello and goodbye carved
from any mouth, soft or difficult, shy or
unabashed. when you saw me take my
steps your smile curved like a castle
letting down it’s drawbridge. how did
i convince myself that was a good thing?
i knew you were waiting for something.
i knew you were waiting for someone, but
i never would have guessed all you waited
for from me was for me to pass you by,
to get out of your sight so you could watch
the street roll and pull rain from the overhead
lights into ripples that reminded you of a
different time, a better time, a time before me
when you were happy. but the past isn’t always
as good as we remember it, i hope you know
that. i never would’ve said that to your face
because it was too beautiful to deface with
such a tar-slung sentence.
i wish i was a writer.
i wish i could sing.
i wish i could have done something, anything
to be the ribbon sent across the sky flying
like a star stained lighthouse beacon,
one you couldn’t forget, wrapping you
up on the glassy surface, keeping you
afloat in the present, banishing dark
underneath, sweeping away sharp
rocks, shark teeth.
He looked me in the eyes and said, "what do you wanna be?"
Looking down was the only direction I've known,
before I knew that sentences could end with question marks,
instead of periods.
He looked me in the face and said, "what do you wanna be?"
The smell of old chairs around a wooden table and the sound of
gossip from the floor above.
This was my life and I always pictured it in italics,
aligned to the left and initials on the bottom in bold.
He looked me in the soul and said, "what do you wanna be"
Music was blaring and I could hear it in my chest.
The day time collapsed and they told me this was the beginning,
though it was not the day I was born.
I flipped through an old black leather book and found the letters
I wrote to the boy across the oceans.
He looked me in the heart and said, "what do you wanna be?"
I told him I wanted to be the person to change his mind.
I wrote my ideas in that black leather book,
with my initials on the bottom in bold,
and his love in italics.
The hands that stretch, the feet that glide. The ability to see, the strength to withhold vision. I was stuck in shades of dark and filth. I was burning in the passion of the sun. I heard a truth that spoke life. I heard an angel say dive. I took a chance hoping I would fly. I jumped thinking I would bounce. The fall was humanity and life announced. I fell into an ocean of truce. I found creatures bad and good. It was a war, a fight for power. They were corrupt lifelings looking to be kings. They felt like gods eluded by the ring. The ring that controls all things. The orchestrators of lies that kill. Kill the freedom of the mind. The orchestrators of a world that enriches so-called kings. Blasphemy is the order of this world. Pain this world brings. A world of treacherous kings but all nothing without the power. What was the power? A spoken idea a woman a lump of gold? It was the fear! The fear instilled in souls so to inhibit freewill and limit conduct. The power that tarnishes the human soul. The power that bars the mind and hides the truth that one must face. The truth is his identity, the success of his identity is serving his purpose. The realisation of his purpose is dependant upon his surroundings. Surroundings are walls that limit his will and remind him that all he can be is nothing. The fallacy that man is the illusion and the kings are the truth. Scaling walls, browsing I saw that they were fighting. Protecting an order. Fighting for a world of lust, confusion and weakness. Where the kings are gods and the weak slaves. I spoke once and said that I am the vision and the truth I speak to the weak that need healing. I have body armour but no weapons. I have a reason to fight but no weapons. I have weapons but no army. I have an army but the soldiers have tainted minds, no feet and only one arm. An arm that remains stationary, erect and held together. It was the fist that represented the power to stand. The fist that represents immortality. I found hope, I found belief in the little weaponry that lay in my hands. The invisible truth I protect is the heart of my soul. Embracing I know I am what is real, Embracing I acknowledge the dangers of reel, Embracing the truth I know that I am the power and the power is me. I opened my eyes and saw the world as the waking of the day when the sun rises. I found relief in knowing that I am no longer hiding for this power is for fighting. Fighting for the will, fighting for man to be free. I leave the place that was confining, I leave the dust where souls burnt hide in, I scale these walls and glide, I use this power of liberation to display the truth that so many saints have protected. I allow the showers of the night to heal these wounds that leave me infected. I stand in refuge, I am a ghost, I am a soul, I am man, I am the power.
I'm trying to push you out of my head
but somehow my thoughts keep going back
to your smile and the way you sing
my favorite songs in bed.
I'm wishing you would have told me
how you really felt
and that I would have told you
how I really felt.
I'm terrified of your love
but I would never resist it
and I will never lose you again
because I miss the imprinted
sheet lines on your face in the morning.
and I keep thinking of them
when I should be focusing
other than missing you.}
in the dim candle lit room
stood the faces of many
but these faces were not ordinary
for they were indeed empty
no emotion did these faces show
they were gone and dead inside
very scary looking indeed
sincere and dreary eyed
a slash of hurt across the face
of one particular man
showed this man was cunning
and he had a cunning plan
he let out a yell from deep within
making the others around him
possess crawling skin
he proceeded to yell
within the room
the other faces
they sensed their doom
their faces fell, drooped a lot
into an uspide down smile
and only until the yelling stopped
did they show emotion for a while
the man with hurt slashed across his face
carried this on for weeks
with a content curve about his lips
that brought colour to his cheeks
the cunning man had achieved his plan
of bringing emotion to the others
he was proud of himself, he loved to help
his sisters and his brothers
It's not you, It's me
I'm still living in the dream
I'm still hoping that you'll
see right through my eyes
but you're moving on it's not a surprise.
We're just not meant to be anymore.
And now I'm sitting on the floor
with my hands running through my hair
All the tears are falling off my cheek
they can't hold on because I'm weak
from everything we've been through
And now I think it's breaking point
held together with a small little joint
I don't wanna live my life like this
I'm too stressed out to even try and fight this
I guess I have to say goodbye.
I don't want to block you again,
but just like last time
that's the only way
to stop seeing your face
I need to get your name out of my head
I need to move on because I'm dead
I need to be alive and find a way
to be happy what can I say.
I'm torn apart now
and I know you're sad too
but you know now
that I'm not going to let you walk all over me
We are no longer a team anymore.