The day you died haunts me still
but you will be forever young
forever on my mind
I will always miss your smile
the way your presence could light up a room
kind of like the sun as it rises in the morning
and as the moon glows when the day progresses
into the starry sky at midnight exact
I will never forget the impact you made
just by being my dearest friend
one day, I'll see you again
at the bright gates of Heaven
I will then see your face once more
and the girl who I once lost
but now can see again
One day that will happen,
One day, my friend.
Dear angel, I love you.
My heartbeat feels so dull,
without you here bringing it back to life.
Falling from grace she can't erace
Years of worry from her pretty face
Her eyes try to hide that which she can't deny
Don't ask those questions cuz she just can't lie
I've gotten use to being alone
But I miss you like hell when I get stone
Heavy is my heart when I dream of you
But thats ok 'cuz I'm always blue
Fallen from grace she's seen my true face
The highly intellectual basket case
It's as if she leaves me time and again
I hold my breath as long as I can
It's not so easy to pretend
When your on the outside looking in
Yet truth is I really care
And now I'm gasping for some air....
The tips of my fingers slowly caress her cheek,
She is beauteous, her eyes could light up
dark streets
It gradually journeys around the side of her face
Skimming the jawline, getting closer to her chin.
Where the index finger rests; urging her in.
Onwards towards me, so our lips align
The clocks tick their last tock,
There's a pause in time.
The kiss is perfection, it's one of a kind
Returning for a repeat of the first, my heart was pounding as if my chest would burst
The fireworks exploding inside of my mind
were like bonfire night and new year combined
It sent shivers down my spine and butterflies to my heart
My hand moved from her chin round to her neck
The other held her close at the base of her back
Our eyes they had met and created a spark
Our lips had aligned and the spark was ignited
Never in my wildest dreams have I been so excited
That's how it's supposed to feel
That's how it's decided.
'In one moment your whole life can turn around'
so TURN AROUND and IN a MOMENT you could find the ONE who CAN make
YOUR LIFE WHOLE.
New poem, sat waiting, contemplating...this is the result.
i remember the first time i saw you after you’d returned from europe,
after those wretched twenty-six days
of being five thousand miles away from your
lovely [to say the least] face
laugh
eyes
lips
arms
surrounded by panic attacks, breakdowns, loneliness,
and i am still,
honestly,
utterly clueless as to how i made it.
the silver lining?
kissing you like those couples in those old wwii photographs
when you arrived at my house.
after that dreadful near-month.
that sounds melodramatic,
and that’s simply because it is.
my situation, well,
i don’t know how to explain it in any way besides…
you know those kids, you’re seen them,
their parents prohibit them from eating sugar?
they are away from sugar all the time
and it is stressed repeatedly over and over
you will stay away from sugar don’t go near sugar
they take it away and the kid is left their with this
insatiable craving and longing,
until a month’s time has gone by,
and then there they are,
sneaking over to their best friend’s house
for a batch of warm, freshly baked
cookies.
I stand mighty, strong and tall
I am like a majestic waterfall
And yet still I ask
Could I be just a peice glass
One that someone might break
The people I know, never give but they always take
Hell no I say I wont give up that fast
I am the wind, the trees the grass
My waterfall colides with a mighty boom
And those who fall off will face my doom
”And these voices, do they ever tell you to do things?”
My doctor wrote fervently, then looked up,
Studying my face and answer.
”Never. It's just talk. Like you're in a cafeteria.”
I swallowed,
And remembered
Thunder. The lights were out.
I was in another fit.
I shouldn't've been bothered-
But she made me sit in the stairway.
And her face, it warped into one my visions.
She was a creature just then.
My head split, screamed-
'Just push her. Beat her fucking head in.
She's your demon. Fucking kill it.'
”It just sounds like small talk.”
The urgency to escape,
The agony of the pain.
My eyes tired, worn out and sore,
From the countless tears I cried.
I looked around desperately,
Grabbing the only thing in sight.
Tears crawling down my face,
Deeper. Deeper. Deeper.
Redness trickled,
Stinging sensations burst.
I glare into the mirror,
Scowling at my reflection.
My eyes drawing towards the deep scar,
That seems eternally engraved into my arm.
I'm going to the city tomorrow,
where I will wander,
and dream,
and long for things to come,
eat bread I wouldn't otherwise eat,
feel the warmth of the glow on my face,
strolling carelessly,
a child once more at Disney,
nervous again as I add unfamiliar currency,
lost, but the nice kind,
talking to people in all the right ways,
falling more in love,
and hoping more than I ever have.
Ripped pages,
caused by heart breaks.
Ripped pages, ripped by a broken soul.
A broken soul,
who did not want to look back at the memories.
Who was naive.
Who lost her stability.
Hurt deep inside,
lacks motivation.
Fake smile every day...
so wrecked and tired.
Behind the pretty smile,
the pretty face,
the beauty that society sees,
a bundle of mess remains deep under her skin.
My soul weeps for help.
I need to be cleansed right now.
Missing pages,
that does not want to be found.
Missing pages,
that was contained with memories...
memories with the one she loved.
So hurtful.
Memories....
that I do not want to remember.
-e.c
You are a tragedy.
As I sit here with despair,
As I sit here with regrets.
All I could think about is you.
How horrendous you are,
How much of a fool you pulled out on me.
Playing tricks like how a magician would.
And here I am, sitting, like a beaten doll,
thinking of how we ever could...be us?
Fantasizing such a silly thing,
Thinking and thinking each day,
"How can I get better for you?"
Clear as crystal water,
your treatment reveals that I would never be good enough for you.
No beauty you see, No radiance, No heart, No warmth.
Nothing.
I see myself as a beast,
no need to tell me that I am the least.
If I am, stop trying to find me,
like I am a valuable possession you have just lost.
You abusive cynical man.
A careless thief who stole my heart,
who just ended up breaking it.
A collector who realized I was not valuable enough to keep.
A vendor who sold me for cheap.
Lies! Lies! Lies!
Is all I feel and see with your touch and actions.
Each time I see your face...
A liar.
A loser.
Who could care less about me.
Who couldn't take care of anyone, honestly.
And this is why I think, you're a tragedy.
-e.c
