Seeing friends of broken dreams
Cocaine eyes crying streams
A constant river of hopes and lies
Ounces, lies, those streams cry
Too many children for the mother to look after
See Cruz in the Tomorrow
Then Yesterday comes
And a year passes with no difference
Just more drive in Coca eyes
Snorting grime in afternoon midnights
Pity the soul who gives up forgiving and knows It All
Gonna plant in the shadows, fortune growing
Plants - medicine - drug - confiscated time
Forgive the mind
Time ain’t time
Grime is grime
Prositituted hearts selling gold and green and white and brown
Trying for rent, in the gutter come night
No fight to vent, too numb, just can’t
Lawns come bedrooms
Bushes come kingsize
Bleeding nose and veins
Throwing needles in the park
The local furniture outfit
They ain’t free
It ain’t me
I try, but there’s nothing to try for
Smack come crack
Hotel burning back
Moment to pack
Heavy, heavy sack
Breaking my back
No turning back
No den for slack
Sailing sick towards public arrest
Friends turn friends like rotating doors
Come and come again
In the middle of the day
Confidence doesn’t matter
Exploring blankets of warmth and escape
Poor, poor parades of humiliation
Standing like stamps to smoke
Sad rock crumbling on diamond mirror
Scattering stairs to escape
Towards the park
Away from the dark -
Where’s the light?
Something ain’t right -
Vampires are lurking
And nothing seems to work
Save me if you can -
I’d save myself if I could
I would never be able to find the correct words
to write about you
so I guess I'll just play with them
and hope you can see what I'm doing.
Love never crossed my mind
at least never the kind I've discovered with you
yet every new day you bring something new to the table
to surprise me with something that is truly real.
Our stories will be intertwined
in the most wonderful book
we'll each write chapters and verses
and see what we've accomplished in the end.
Very rarely would I ever doubt you
even if the skies in my mind turned grey
and I lost all sense of myself
I would still see you as beautiful.
Each and every thought of you
brings a tear to my eye
and yet you still make my heart leap with joy
when I wake up to see your face.
You're like my favorite book
full of surprises, twists and turns,
and unforgettable memories
which I hope I can share with you.
Our very bodies work together in a beautiful melody
playing off each other in perfect sequence and harmony
I could explore you for days, months, years
a very lifetime of knowing you so fully.
Underneath the stars,
your eyes still shine the brightest
I wonder what sort of things make them seem to dance like that
I'd sure love to take a lifetime to find out.
Not really sure where this came from. Hint: read the first letter of each stanza down from first to last, it spells something. Cheesy? Probably.
Sometimes I dearly wish that you knew me
Sometimes I ache to be loved by you
There are times when I just want to be with you
And others when I wish all of these fantasies were true
All I desire these days
Is for you to acknowledge my presence
When I walk past you with hopeful eyes
All I want is you to look back
I like to stare at you
Don't ask me why
All I know is I'm infatuated towards you
But, alas, it’s not the same for you
I've heard loads of times before
Love is a big fat lie
It sure is true
Love is a curse neither for me nor you
I know one thing for sure
I'll get over you eventually
Eventually my heart will stop desiring
For the things that were never mine.
I tried to come up with all the reasons why I can't stop thinking about you
I came up with this list and if it doesn't make sense now, it will in time
I can't stop thinking about your smile because it is a time machine
Bringing me back to the days when I had all the time in the world to stare at the stars as each would gleam
When I broke toys instead of hearts and I didn't have a problem playing with fire
The flames were never tamed, I was always to blame but I had been the only one burnt by desire
I can't stop thinking about you because your voice is akin to my pen
Promising to stick with me through thick and thin, writing every wrong that there's ever been
And when you lose it, I fear I will lose it and never find another reason to stay out of this grave
I can't stop thinking about you because your words are like the light at the end of the cave
Here I was enslaved but you gave me hope for a brighter day. A sun with which to awaken
I've taken my God forsaken faith and reinforced it with your love, it will not be shaken
I can't stop thinking about you...and sometimes I don't know why
But why would I fly away when I can hold your hand and see the beauty of the night sky from your eyes
This poem has been a long time in the making and I still feel that it's too soon to write. I feel like you don't deserve so much of my time and my thoughts. But something deep inside of me knows that this is for me and not you. And I like me more than I hate you, so I'll be uncomfortable and discuss you in the effort of bringing peace to me.
How can someone as shit as you ruin my life? So weak and so young. Owner of nothing but ruler of all.
It hurts my pride so bad to even acknowledge that a person as minuscule as you could rearrange my everything. How I could have been so inferior to the likes of...
It makes me so mad to admit that I am afraid of you. Words that my lips will never utter, a thought that my mind 'force closes' every time, the letters that my pen refuses to form.
I am afraid of you.
So hard to accept that you are stronger than me
I've never known anything so evil
I've never known anything more terrifying than the feeling I feel when confronted by you. Just your presence. Stand alone. Is enough to make me want to run away. To a world safe from you. So that's what I do.
I run and I run and now I'm somewhere foreign. Depriving myself of the things I love to protect myself from you.
When you punched our sister in the mouth and I watched her rip her lip off of her teeth. I died inside.
Literally slipping in her own blood trying to wrestle you off.
Why did you do that?
Where did you learn that?
How did I not know you were capable of that?
How are you capable of that?
Someone so close to me. Became a monster. Slowly, yeah. But still I wasn't ready for that. Wasnt expecting that. Never saw that coming.
It felt like it was all a dream. Still hoping today that maybe it was.
And your lack of remorse keeps my hate for you fiery.
"CALL THE POLICE, BITCH. AND WHEN I GET OUT OF JAIL IMMA BEAT YO ASS AGAIN!" chills tears (This is a part of the process, Domonique. Let it happen. Swallow the lump in your throat. Keep writing)
If I close my eyes I can hear you so clear. I'm there again. Scared. Shaking. Knife in my hand. Knowing deep down I wasn't bold enough to kill you.
And you knew it too.
When she was bleeding everywhere and I stood there too shocked to move. And you pushed me. And mom screamed. And Ravyn cried.
Why would you do that?
I never thought.
I watched my sister try and recover while I just got worse.
To watch her cry every day from excruciating pain as I fed her through a cracked jaw.
It stung so bad that she would refuse to eat.
It stung so bad. And as for Me and My soul. Stung the fuck up.
I cried all the time. To see someone you love plagued with a hurt body and hurt pride is too much for the strongest of us. Wishing I could halve the pain: when we were little girls we halved everything.
But I couldn't.
Never felt so helpless, so useless.
Sleeping in a tiny 2bedroom apartment, living out of boxes. Just wanting my sister to be okay.
Missing my mama. From living with her all my life to not even seeing her everyday.
It was so hard.
And meanwhile I had to go to school, harboring all of this pain.
Never discussing the imminent details.
Rare for a person as vocal as me.
Trying hard to never think of it.
My grades suffered bad, but not as bad as me.
You can imagine how little an equation or a metaphor meant. Absolutely nothing. Because life had just taught me something that academia wouldn't even believe.
This. This is so hard for me to relive.
So I'll stop here. I have to stop here. And when I'm ready. I'll come back and finish.
But this is big. Really really big. Because I promised to never 'go there'. But here I am. And maybe I'll regret it later. And I'll probably never be mentally prepared to read it again.
It's really no fun dealing with repressed memories.
No, please, not again,
Not the Bastard Block,
Think I’m about to cry,
A grown man, weeping,
So unreal, sad, even.
An occupational hazard,
Finding the Block, lurking,
The unforgiving, Bastard Block,
Visited by all worth their salt,
Dreaded by writers, loathed.
An empty well, bone dry,
The Block, mocking, malicious,
Laughing in the shadows,
Shifting within deeper shadows,
Growing, so very strong.
It cannot be mastered,
Not now, not ever,
Now you know it exists,
Grasp the pen, tap keys,
You must fight!
Ignore the jeering,
Conquer fears first;
Then, try writing, just write,
Summon courage, dry your eyes,
Then slay the Bastard Block.
The moment he rejected you the first time
I saw a little part of you break
like the ice in your eyes were melted with a self destructive hate fire
burning dangerously with the unrequited desire
for his love.
I want to tell you you're perfect
I want to tell you you're perfect
On the times he moved closer to you at the lunch table
I saw the way your body stiffened
I could see the mental checklist being ticked
a grocery list of the things that you wanted
the things you thought he needed.
You're already perfect
You're already perfect
He fluttered your heart with his smile
making you realize that this spell he put you under isn't temporary
no matter how many times he knocks you down.
Where other girls want to undress him with their eyes
to see the chiseled swimmers body armor created from
years of waking up before sunlight
all you want is to strip the armor from his skin
to see if what lies underneath the charm
is really as soft and sweet as it is in your dreams.
The day he asked out another girl in front of you
you tell me you need a friend
you say you don't even know how to stop crying
and that choking back tears is causing you to choke out the words
"it's killing me"
you tell me that you feel so pointless
but you're infinitely perfect to me
so I make sure that you know how pointless he is too
and that if he can't even see through his glasses to realize how beautiful you are
then he might as well be as blind as a bat.
even though you say your importance can be rationed out in teaspoons
I tell you that no amount of measuring cups could ever measure how much you mean to me
I say that your shine is like the one light in powerless city
gifting those in the dark with the wonders of your intelligence
and with the beauty of the way in which you look at the world
I want you to know that you're perfect
I want to tell you I'm sorry
I'm sorry for not noticing all the times that your lip was white beneath your teeth
or the way your eyes stung from the acidity of rejection
causing tears to form around the red insides of your eyelids
I'm sorry I wasn't there to wipe the tears off your face like I always promised I'd be.
I want to tell you you're perfect.
I want you to know that putting layers of make up on your face
makes him fall in love with a copy of every unoriginal
girl he's ever dated but you
you are not a copy
you are not unoriginal
you are a story
you are amazing
and you should never let your self feel like any less.
I see a different person when I walk past you,
and I notice how much you've changed.
You've stripped yourself of your vulnerability,
and you're no longer readable unlike before.
What I also notice
is the way your eyes twinkle when you look at her,
the way you trail after her in class,
the way her name rolls off your tongue perfectly, as if you practiced it,
the way you designed a special smile just for her,
the way you hug her jokingly but the look on your face says you could stay that way forever
the way you fool around and pretend you're just friends.
But I'm also good at pretending.
Looking away and pretending I didn't see that.
That my heart doesn't hurt whenever you're both near,
that my heart doesn't get stabbed a million times
whenever i see how much you care for her,
how much you love her,
I'm sorry I didn't notice when you loved me,
but it hurts so much,
because it's so different
the ways you love her and loved me
and yet you still have my heart on a choke hold.
I wrinkle my nose
And smell the salty air
So fresh and clear
I close my eyes
And listen to the waves kiss the shore line
I try to understand the secrets it holds
Resting my head on a pine
I glance at the waves
So strong and so sure
They know exactly what they're doing
And they don't hesitate
Where as the delicate shore is so vulnerable
And inocent and raw
The water is calm
no matter how big the waves are
It's peaceful here
It whispers to me
In a tongue I don't speak
Yet I long to understand what it is saying
Ohh the deep blue see
I wish I understood you
Knowing all you know
Seeing all you see
I close my eyes again and listen
One day maybe I will understand
Sie halt meine Liebe
Noch im Speicher
Ihre Augen werde ich nie vergessen
Ich sah Gott in ihr wie kein anderer
Wenn ich sie wieder zu sehen,
Wenn dor Tod keine Grenze
Lass es sein, oh Gott, lass es sein
Sie ubt Achtsamkeit in ihrem Gang
Sie spricht, wenn sie spricht
Sie liebt es, wenn sie allein ist
Sie erzahlte mir,
Und ich glaube, sie
Wenn das Ego hingibt Stolz
Wahre Macht gehalten wird
Wahre Liebe aufgedeckt
Und die wahre Wahrheit ans Licht -
Her kiss of days between
She holds my love
Still in memory
Her eyes I’ll never forget
I saw God in her like no other
If I am to see her again
If death is of no boundary
Let it be, oh God, let it be
She practices mindfulness in her walk
She speaks when she talks
She loves when she is alone
She told me
And I believe her
When the ego surrenders pride
True power is held
True love is uncovered
And the true truth is revealed