I wish I could paint the night sky with star dust
Pink and purple
I’d write your name so you’d feel special
You would never have to wonder why I love you
You light up my eyes
And awaken my dreams
With the most beautiful of lies
And did I tell you
I would never trade even the most beautiful sunrise
For just a glimpse of your smile
You are a gift
And I never want to leave
So ill gaze off at the distant night sky
Imagining your name
Written next to mine
Before the night fell
We witnessed the brilliance of man's folly,
Every note falling in deciduous perfection;
Even a prayer can be lost.
Then, when the stars came out,
The sun nowhere to be found,
The moon belched like a drunken pirate,
Bending the trees and sending their leaves
Skyward, off and away.
There was a whisper
Between the blades of grass
We sat upon.
There was a worry
In your eye
That told me there
Was to be more.
Candy cane fragrance
With a dash of cinnamon and salt.
Grinning through the darkness,
We touched hands like children,
Caught in that never ending dance.
Morning came like mist over a hill.
Our eyes wished not to open for the day.
She rose first and I rose second.
Never wanting for that feeling to go away.
Secondary rituals over coffee and pastries.
The sun came through that café window like a shot of a gun.
And when she paid and left,
She dropped a note that read "Until next time."
When you never see another again,
You always wonder what they came to be.
A periwinkle whore of 5 cents a pound,
Or a river lady loon that sang without a sound?
Under your bed -
Color shining in
Ox blood purple and red.
They told me your name
They scribbled your address
They want what you have
They're wondering why your'e so stressed
When she came by the place again,
I wasn't home, so she dropped me another note.
This one had only one word:
I can't lie.
I was quite
Two days past.
A knock on my door.
Moon light's middle finger
Stretching into my living room
My couch held her like an egg in a carton.
Toad colored hat latched around her head.
Hair covering her eyes, her mouth, her broken nose.
She wore orange flip flops, wiggling her toes.
She asked why I hadn't called.
I told her that I didn't have her number.
She talked about her soon to be dead father.
I sat down to listen, thinking of my forgotten brother.
When she began to cry, she came to me,
Like a bee to a flower or a fly to fresh shit.
I felt her hand on my chest and her breath in my left ear;
There's no guilt like the wicked
And there's no faith like the religious kind.
Hand in a hold.
Love is just another mold.
The priest protects the walls
Of his splintered sanctuary.
Is just another man's memory.
Oh my sins, my sins,
Where should I begin?
When you're born to lose,
There's no thought to win.
6 months past
And still, she came over.
Our love for one another
Was a secret knot I couldn't undo.
A year past
And the stars and the moon
Were a cure that
Blanketed us, our child, our family.
Living our days out,
Mixing poison and penalty,
Running from a life
That showed any shred of reality.
Buried side by side
Underneath a bent apple tree,
I died one day
And she died the other.
Using the falling leaves in the Fall
And the blossoming buds in Spring
For something to reach for.
My bones are shaking
My heart is slowed down
The tears in my eyes
Are falling to the ground
My fingers lay softly on the piano keys
This is my very last plea
I can never find the words to say
So the music helps me drift away
Please baby please
Just tell me you'll stay
My heart is hollow
My chest is full of air
For I'd let all the blood in my body run dry for you
without even having a care
I'm wondering what you are doing and how you feel
But nothing really phases you
You're so strong
You're made out of steel
I'm as soft as clay
Mold me into something
That would make you wanna stay
And You can always have your way
There's shivers up my spine
The stars are never aligned
Because you and I
Are not side by side
So as I play the last notes
I feel as if instead of swimming
I'm just barley staying afloat
Maybe in my dreams you'll come visit me
And we can go drifting
Amongst the seas
The body is perfect,
Skin so soft, eyes so bright.
Why would anyone ruin this?
This absolutely perfect creation?
No need for useless additions.
Ink, needles, metal, colors,
All so ruining to this precious gift.
This delusion of God and bodily temples,
keeping me modest and naive,
What more could I want?
This ignorant bliss keeping my skin clean.
The parents are proud,
This “God” is pleased with my ways.
Dreaming of celestial ignorance.
My body is a temple,
My mind is set straight.
Who could ever try to change that?
The plainness is beautiful.
Given how the weather is outside,
I have a chance to bolster my self esteem
I'm really hot
I mean, look at that pimpled olive skin
look at those green-rimmed glasses and
those sparkling hazel eyes
the average body temperature is
98 degrees, right?
and it's 32 degrees outside?
I guess that makes me pretty damn hot
I mean, just look at me
As the reel of past events
slowly does unwind
pictures and emotions
seem to drift like the tide
As the waves come rushing in
embrace the flowing light
take a trip upon the wind
like a leaf taking flight
Soaring ever higher
vision blooming like a flower
suspended in a tranquil mist
watching events transpire
Knowing you can't change events
a stunned witness you remain
muted as you shout inside
with regrets your soul is stained
Look into the future
with a heart that's burden free
don't take the past and wear it
just like Marley's chains
Make amends then move on
life is short you see
enjoy the days that you have
set your spirit free
Don't cry to me of hardships
we all have paid a price
everybody has a past
and another set of lies
The things I think that matters most
are the connections that are made
what the other has to say
When we meet eye to eye
on equal ground we stand
looking through the others eyes
Smile a lot and say hello
to everyone you meet
together we can re form a bond
we once called society
Some fools are born, conditioned by fate,
And they, like all, still procreate.
All useful knowledge flees their minds,
As selfish life fulfills these swines.
And while they swing and cheat for joys,
The watchful eyes of their little boys
Do take a look at what they see,
And what they see is “A bigger me.”
Their little girls, in company of dolls,
On occasion, foresee what befalls
Upon them, too, as they soon explore,
An impending battle of love and war.
But then, there exists that little kid,
Whose sex and gender shall remain amid
A cloud of irrelevance and mystery:
Their wisdom calls most urgently.
As this kid sees a life unravel
Along Lacanian stages of travel,
Concerned are they with the fuss and mess,
Which most adults do not confess
To what they cause and what they bring,
Most taken in by their offspring;
And as one parent lacks all the care,
The other lives a life unfair.
In times of chaos and audacious cuss,
Dear vengeful killer, Oedipus,
Consumes all facets of the mind
Of the little kid who must confine
All pain, and hatred, and all rage,
Enough to place one in a cage,
And leave one there to squirm and rot,
Like a lobster boiling in a pot,
And free the bird whose wings to fly
Have been broken off, now left to die,
In part, by diabolical norms
That invade a home in all shapes and forms.
But, the kid looks up at the two,
Then whispers quietly, “I’m neither of you;
Not the blinded one, who feels must reign;
Nor the obliged one, too tied to pain."
Nor does the kid ever dare to be
A product passed politically:
Ingrained in mind, in heart, and soul
A subordinate being in a bowl,
That turns, and turns, and turns, and turns
While greedy capitalists more they yearn.
Within this cycle is little choice,
Hetero-normatively sans a screaming voice,
For a true language for some not made;
Virile chest-pounds place a shade
Upon the stronger ones deprived
Appraisal for their stronger minds.
The kid, all this, can’t take to be,
As what they see they wish not to see.
In this unbalanced Yin and Yang,
The kid’s perception hits a bang:
“The power lies within the one
Who mostly governs with a gun;
And how can a human hurt their double,
When love and passion are lesser trouble?"
A fitting sex the kid can't choose,
As in every win, each sex does lose.
But slowly, as they come to be,
The kid, society directs to see,
That to just one sex they must belong,
As 'genitalia proves feelings wrong.'
This funny theory most credits Freud.
By collective viewpoints the kid’s annoyed:
'No good is said, no good is done',
For those who are all, but yet are none.
Great gender points makes Butler de Judith,
While her female likes are out to proveth
That she is wrong within her stance
‘Only female unity will give rise to chance'
To an inclusion of the female word,
And one that’s First, not Second or Third.
The opposite, still out to bend
The rules and laws, all to pretend
That the other sex does not exist
Because swollen egos must persist
In rule, in art, in build, and biz:
'Fields where opposites lack all wiz.'
The kid, in this silly world of theirs,
Looks at all the foolish heirs
Who bounce and shoot this gendered ball,
While the kid stands back and laughs at all.
maybe the sun looks different in california;
maybe the stars are duller, the water warmer.
maybe someday i will visit you,
and i will taste the west coast in the form of wine coolers
or a stranger's lips.
you promised that minutes and miles were weaker
than our secrets, our confessions, our connection.
but california smells like train tracks and your mother's marijuana
and brightly-colored sea glass, and sometimes i am scared
that i only love you so much because blue eyes and best friends
are hard to find on the east coast.
i don't care.
i miss you.
There's a boy
Who I've always seen in my dreams
I never saw his face
But I knew he was where my heart belonged
Ever since I was a little girl
I've wished for him
I was afraid
I'd never find him
All I've ever longed for
Is the type of love
That only exists in movies
But I wanted it in reality
So I've searched
And found nothing
I've been left unsatisfied
And also broken hearted
But one day
The sun was shining
And I found the man
I'm was going to spend eternity with
It was so unexpected
But the moment I saw him
Like they say
I knew right then and there
That he was the man I'll one day marry
Even though I'm afraid of commitment
I was stuck in the darkness for so long
And he was the light
At the end of the tunnell
I've never had someone
Who has ever looked at me as
But he does
I don't know why though
He's beyond me
He's better than me
He deserves this whole world
I guess what I'm trying to say is
That I'm 17 years old
And I found the love I've dreamed of
For all my life
And now I have it
In the palm of my hands
I could never be more thankful
God gave me an angel
Who saved me from myself
I've never looked a man in the eyes
And said "I love you"
And meant it
But with every fiber of my being
I fucking love this boy
More than anything in this whole fucking world
And if I'm lucky enough
Ill get to keep him forever
She looked at me with cold, black eyes,
Through spec's two inches thick
And asked what I did for Summer,
And I knew it was a trick.
Teachers do that to the kids
Who have to go to class.
So, when she asked again, I said,
"No thanks. I think I'll pass."
"Pass what?" She asked, her eyes like slits
As dark as eyes can be.
"What did you do all summer long?
Just sit at home and watch TV"
"But you're such an intelligent boy,
You should have read a book or two.
I'd have hoped you would have gone somewhere,
Like perhaps the city zoo."
"Or played softball in the local park
With the other kids in town.
It's so sad to see someone just sit at home
When there's so much to do around."
I chewed my lip and looked around.
Was I the only one
Who thought this was one of the
Dumbest things we've ever done?
I shook my head and said,
"I'm really not supposed to tell.
My Uncle Nibb stopped on by
On his way to St. Carmel.
"He was on a secret mission,
For Chef Utterbutterbanks.
And we had the best time ever.
And I forgot to tell him thanks."
But she did not believe me.
She did not believe me one small bit.
She folded her arms and tapped her shoe
And said "We'd love to hear about it..."
Yeah, it was a trap. A big one too!
The biggest trap of all.
She looked at me with her thin, black eyes,
And I felt one half inch tall.
"Come on. Come on. Out with it, boy!
We do not have all day.
Your Uncle came and got you.
What did you do while you were away?"
"First we..." was what came out first.
And my Teacher was not pleased.
Because after that the words
Just seemed to flow with super ease.
I said, "First we went to Switzerland,
Where we tobogganed down a hill.
We ate pizza on the Matterhorn,
And stayed there all day, until
Eleven hundred Police showed up
And we had to get away!
But Uncle Nibb knew what to do,
I watched him good that day.
He has a friend from Portugal
Who owns a zeppelin.
And he picked us up in one quick swoop.
And we flew away, and then...
We went swimming in the Amazon.
We played tennis with a Gnome.
And I'd have had much more to show you
If they had let me bring him home.
When we went to Istanbul
I had my fortune read.
You'd have really been quite impressed
With what the Gypsy said.
In China we had ice cream rice,
Which is better than you'd think.
Though I couldn't find the ice cream,
And all the rice was pink.
We finally got to Paris
At about the noonish hour
And tossed brand new copper pennies
From something called the Eiffel Tower.
We watched the sunset set in India,
Where we saw the Taj Mahal.
It was the biggest mahal I've ever seen,
Almost three billion taj's tall!"
My Teacher shook her head at this.
She was not very happy.
I'd have to think up something fast,
And it better be snappy.
"But I'm just guessing, you know,
Because I've seen it in the books.
But those pictures that they show you
Are nothing like it really looks!"
"We joined a caravan in Egypt
Where we traveled through the night,
And Uncle Nibb explained the mystery
Of nearly every star in sight."
"And when we finally reached St. Carmel,
We were tuckered out a spell.
Uncle Nibb picked up the spices
That Chef Utterbutterbanks knew so well."
"He brought us home last Tuesday
And we slept till Wednesday night.
It was the funnest time I've ever had.
Even Dad says it was all right."
My Teacher scowled a triple scowl,
And shook her boney head.
"I am going to speak with your parents!"
Were the last words to me she said.
I was sent home very early.
My Teacher said I'd told a fib.
"She didn't believe a word I said."
I told my Uncle Nibb.
My Uncle Nibb just grinned, then laughed.
He was gone most of the day.
When he got back he punched my arm
And said, "Go on out and play."
When I went back to school the next day
My Teacher was very nice.
She told the class there really is
Such a thing as Ice Cream Rice.
She also said that everything
That I told to them was true.
Except the part about the Gnome,
But that was okay too.
Then she asked me about Istanbul
Where I had my fortune read,
She was rather curious
With what the Gypsy said.
I shrugged that shrug I always shrug,
Kicked my heels hard at the floor.
"She said my future shined a shine
She'd never seen before."
"She named adventures that would seek me out,
Described the wonders I would see.
She just went on and on about
Those things she saw for me."
And my Teacher seemed quite satisfied,
She grinned a grin that opened wide,
And beamed just like a skittle pin,
About this tale I'd knew I'd never ever
Ever tell again.
Copyright © 2001 Richard D. Remler
"Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its
story one moment at a time."
-Leo F. Buscaglia