sometimes my eyes turn green in the sunlight
unfortunately
i get that gene from him
fortunately
if there is no mirror, we don't exist

With fireflies, whizzing by our eyes
Lights out, moonlight
A blazing fire, a warmth in my throat
Sipping bottled stars
The bubbles and the tingles
The night is young, we say, the world is ours
You take my hand oh so softly
And there on that step
I really tasted  the stars,
Like a big ol' slice of the sun
That same tingle on your skin as mid-summer day
And I was awake and alive
Among the dark halls and the fairy lights,
Up in the cupboard far away
We created our very own, private milk way

I want to grow old with you.
I want to walk into the kitchen and
find you humming over a pot of tea.
I want to see the mischievous twinkle
in your eyes, the lines of aging crinkling the corners.
I want to watch your hair grey.
I want to watch you gazing into the fire sadly,
but a happy kind of sad,
and you'll look up and see me watching,
and you'll smile.
I want to kiss the backs of your shaking, veined hands.
I want our headstones side by side, with
some sort of love poem on it.

Perplexed--and next?
5 years of faded eternity,
a secure mirage of schedules and deadlines--
edges disintegrated,
blurring into one irrepeatable experience,
one pasty mirage that materialized a diploma.

Years staring back, I can see
from this same porch I remember, just home from college #2, staring through eyes unteared hearing a proclaimation of Failure.
"Did you use drugs?" father asked.  "LSD?  Grass?"
The lie split in half through a comedown from a hazy green laziness.  A directionless fog.  Explain failure?  Why, I saw nothing worth fixing.
What future?  What future?  Today.

I saw no future within a year, when the dreaded dropout stigma stung all will.  My refuse decayed, hardened rough, and shaped in fervent heat underground.

Failure is my forming pressure--
to disbelieve is naive:
Failure exists to transform;
its driving heat must purge
Imperfections--must instill
Reflecting luster on unearthed
Materials.  Polished from
Adversity, a woman or man
may realize potential more rare.

Ouroboros--
I chased my tail back
to a place I was fool enough
to leave--I received a degree
conceived from restlessness,
grown from focus,
a claiming of self
I now know exists.

Out of breath and sweaty
You turn as you roll off me
The barest hint of a question
Forming behind those eyes

You've been here before
A hundred moments to shrug your shoulders
As if to say
Whatever, who cares anyway?

Lips pursed just so
Whisper shocked suprise
Instead of the usual "I should go..."
Demurely ask "Can I stay?"
Suddenly start to cry

And our hearts break as I reach out to you
Cause you start to say you love me
I interupt abrubtley
My thoughts are of someone else
But I guess you'll do

And I loved you there
Lips pouted in rebellion
So many leaves to shred
So many ghosts to chase
the glass doors were closed.

And I loved you there
As you deciphered numerical impossibilities
On another plane of reality
Brow furrowed in intimate concentration
I averted my eyes from the questions you pondered.

And I loved you there
Angry fists filled with contempt towards yourself
Unable to find the words
A mirrored universe between us
And you can't get through.

And I loved you there
My incredible, awestruck son
trapped, forever a child
Contemplating the mysteries of life
You discovered the truth of this world.

An angel's smile struck your lips
And I loved you there
As you forgot it all.

I saw her after some time, and recognizing her took me a while...
She had gained a lot of weight, mast be due to the stress and strain.
Unusual bags underneath her eyes,
Which once shone, are now engulfed in pain.
Her normally well-kept hair lies in a tangled mess.
Worry lines, spots, a frown and signs of stress.
seem to have taken the place,
of a once cheerful look created by the curve on her face.
She looks worn out, pale and weak.
As if she'd pass out if she tried to speak.
Drooped are her shoulders,
Gone is her smile,
To get back to who she was, is gonna take her a while.
But Alas! there is no turning back and fate is the only factor to blame.
Forced her to leave family , friends and the place she called home.
Burdened by the present, she realizes nothing's gonna stay the same.
So she stands up, and prepares to face life on her own.
Faces the future but tries to hold onto the slippery past.
In hopes of making those beautiful memories last.
She maybe called a fighter, but its getting harder...
She's on the verge of letting go...
"Don't lose faith in God, believe in a better tomorrow"
with a watery smile, to her i whisper.
"you're almost there, its just a little while longer"
are my departing words,
As i turn and walk away from the mirror.