if you could bottle love i would save it everyday
until i had a world full then give it all away
i would give to the poor so could i make them glad
give it the lonely a love they never had
give it to the needy from so faraway
who struggle on through life each and everyday
if you could bottle love it would be worth while
and to all the world it would bring a smile
The Enemy comes to
Steal, kill, and destroy
But before he plunges you
Down to the dark abyss,
Your ultimate defeat
He will cause you to, to, too, toooooooooo
----------f l a t l i n e----------
He will set a feast of lies before you where
Every sweet, delectable crumb
Is poison that will
You from your head down to your toes
The poison won't
Make your ears deaf
Or your eyes blind
It will seep in deeper in your system
And cause your brain to harden
And your heart to grow cold
It will inflict hallucinations
And bring your conclusions to distortions.
To hunger, poverty, you will say
"That happens everyday"
"Everyone does it anyway"
"That is normal, usual"
"All is just the way it should be"
"Everything is ok"
So now you will fade to
And your life will end
Into mere existence
And so now you will drift
This aching, weeping world
That you've tolerated
----------f l a t l i n e----------
You haunt me
everywhere I go.
I wish you would
leave me alone and
let me move on.
Every time you're
around it reminds
me of my loneliness.
My loneliness is like a
bird in a cage. It's
trappes and I wallow
in misery everyday.
My dreams were once
rainbows and unicorns,
now they are barbed
wire and chains.
I can never escape
you, it's as if
I'm a puppet and you're
my puppet master.
It's okay now. I
have finallt realized
that I can't force
you to leave. I will
try to show you that
you don't affect me.
I am no longer your
puppet. I have cut
I am free at last.
I wait every single day
for the sun to rest
and for the moon to wake
so that i can look up at the stars
and thinking how we were once as beautiful as they are
I wait every single day
to hear the seldom ringing of my phone
that temporarily lifts my spirit
but also causes its fall
upon knowing it wasn't you who called
They all arrive at one point everyday
but what I truly wait for
is yet to come
Or is it?
I tell myself that
the feeling of your warmth
overpowering the coldness of my arms
and the rubbing
of your gentle petals of lips on mine
are all worth the wait.
But I can't help but wonder
if what I'm waiting for is the breath from my lips
and the beating of my heart
or if it's just brutal uncertainty
that I somehow recognise
but refuses to accept
All this uncertainty
strengthens my resolve
but the time will also come
when I'm too tired to wait
for all these things- and for you
who I am now unsure of
You laid your eyes on me and beamed. Oh gosh I can feel my stomach flutter!
You walked away. I turned away. Maybe he doesn’t want to see me.
Someone is calling someone and suddenly I hear someone calling my name.
That voice, the voice I wanted to hear everyday,
The same voice I dream to have conversations with.
I missed that voice. The voice I used to hear singing me songs.
The voice I used to hear saying my name, sweetly.
That voice that sent shivers through my spine.
The same voice that I hear even when I’m dreaming.
Your voice who told me those two big words, “Trust me.”
I glance back and saw you, nearer. As if you wanted to talk to me.
That hair, your messy hair that goes beyond perfect with your looks.
Those dimples, your five goddamn dimples that will only be visible when you smile.
And yet I’m seeing that smile, as if it was made for me, only for me to see.
Those eyes, those brown smoky eyes that lit up my soul whenever I look at it.
But I instantly pushed those thoughts away. Maybe he’ll going to ask me why I’m here.
“Why are you here?” Watching you. I’m watching you from afar. That’s the truth!
“I just want to talk to her.” To you! It’s you that I want to talk to, always.
⎯ “I need to ask her something.” What’s wrong with my mouth? It says clashing words from what I really wanted to say. It’s like it’s have it’s own life that I can’t control. Or maybe,
I’m just afraid to reveal my feelings in view of the fact that you might not feel the same.
“Oh, I thought you’re wat⎯” you murmur, “never mind. It’s nothing.” You walked away.
And as your body walk off with mine, you brought my heart but never left yours with mine.
Most of the times it confuse me, why are we afraid?
Here we go again… Afraid to say the words worth saying, and not risking anything.
And maybe, I’ll kill that someone who introduce us the phrase, “Prevention is better than cure.”
As it is harder to prevent someone you love, when you know that it’s them who can cure you.
I was just thinking..
how can you talk to one person everyday
and then completely ignore that person the next day ?
All of a sudden it's routine.
Part of your life.
And then it stops.
The phone calls.
The snapchats & etc.
Everything just stops.
All of a sudden you need a new routine.
Then one day you forget that person..
and their phone calls,
and their texts,
and their snapchats & etc.
And suddenly you could care less.
Why did it matter at first ?
Why doesn't it matter now ?
Who Cares ?!
Now you're living again.
That's all that matters.
Carpe Diem !
Seize the Day !
Holding me firm, I can feel it incarcerating me.
With my ankles bruised from carrying the same heavy chains, day by day.
Chains, that will keep hurting my ankles with every step I take.
I can hear them squeak, tearing my tympanum with every drag.
Reminding me remorselessness that I am one more slave.
Working under its rules, shaping my life with my every breath.
Punishing me with all my memories and rewarding me with an unknown future.
At night it laughs spitefully seeing that it has caught me in its timeless web of an insomniac hex.
And in the morning it plays the same joke seeing that it has caught me in an eternal doze.
I wake up , following the ritual it has for me, slapping me in the back with its whip declaring its power over me, as my owner.
At 7:00 am I wake up indoctrinated by a false faith" Thank You 'God' for this new day ( I thank a 'God' I do not know a 'God' I do not follow)" I suddenly feel confuse.
7:30 am; I shower.
7:40am; I choose my outfit, one in particular that will disguise my insecurities.
7:50am; I have breakfast. My palate already knows the taste, and it protests intensely for a new tang.
8:00am; I walk out of my house, feeling the wind through my body silencing the cacophony of the chains and the beeping of the time clock they hold.
With every beep, I realize I can be late. I rush.
9:00am; I start my ritual, managing papers in an office full of sick people, just like me. Moored by their own chains to their own sorrows, with different time clocks and slaved by the same owner.
4:00pm; I plead it to go faster, to show me mercy. It laughs.
7:00pm; It frees me from my work routine, I thank it before it slaps me in the back again.
8:00 pm; I'm home the chains feel looser now, and I have a break.
9:00pm; I eat dinner same flavor, my palate prepares to taste the same.
10;00pm; It orders me to go to bed, to laugh again about by insomnia and wake me up with no pity.
It doesn't care about what I need, I go under its rules.
It threatens me everyday with my memories and it frightens me with an unknown tomorrow.
And, I only have 24 hours each day,60 minutes in each hour and 60 seconds in each minute to do what the calendar of life has for me .
I was convicted with a human felony, and I am currently serving a life sentence in this time machine.
I am cursed by time and my challenge is to defeat procrastination and monotony.
Why are you crying? You demand, hatred spurting from your eyeballs
stop being so ridiculous
You know what?
Im crying because every damn drop of saltwater is every word I cannot say
I sob when I finally get to my room,
curled up on the bathroom floor because leaking out of my eyeballs is every goddamn sentence I held inside while we were fighting-
All I keep iron lipped locked up lest I destroy everything with the pure gas fire explosions of all these secrets bouncing around the inside of my concrete skin.
And just for a moment,
I don't want to apologize to anyone about
what chemical reactions are firing off in my twisted brain.
I don't want to "work things out" or "talk it through"
or yell or scream or vent to people because no one knows what to say or do except hugging
but I'm all alone in this dark room, dehydrating myself and curling into a ball small enough to fit in your black Chanel purse,
And I don't want you to wrap your stiff arms around me.
That's when I don't want anything more than just to collapse,
to slide into pieces and fold them all on top of each other until I can absorb into something simpler,
something that doesn't have heavy feet sentencing her to a lifetime of traveling these warped roads-
or maybe someone who can deal with the world without turning all of it into a poem?
Some beautiful, skinny girl who doesn't have to fake forgiveness for rides to practice and isn't forced to worry about crossing lines and homework or turn signals or disappointing adults and landing standing tucks and being sharp at football games or homecoming dates and not pissing off my stupid "friends"-
Along with all the other everyday irrelevance that won't mean anything in 25 years.
What do I even care, anyway?
Does anyone actually care?
Isn't it all just bullshit?
But as my phone rings and rings unanswered and my doorbell stays silent
I must come to the conclusion that I am just another human being having the same damn emotions as everyone else and that, in fact,
My friends don't want to hear once again about that fight my mom and I have been waging on and off for about 3 years and how it literally drains my will to live and worms holes in my mental health.
I must not be that girl who pities herself-
the one who lets her watery-gray sadness spill over the sides and splash into other people's laps, bringing down lighthearted conversations on the quad about homecoming dresses
For God's sake, Gabrielle
keep your shit to yourself.
Splash your face with water, spray a little febreze, fetch your plastic bags and fake smiles.
No one likes a bad smell.
You've got all these people exclaiming their creativity
and all these people whoring on about the special value of a person
but you'd never see any one of those people acting as if what they were
saying was true. Never would you see the popular guy go and talk to
the lesser girl. Never would he know her past her name. He wouldn't give
a shit either way about what made this miracle of a human being who she
is today. He couldn't care about how tough things are getting or
how lonely she is or how she feels about his eyes or how she longs
to make love with his soul.
You've got people claiming purity and innocence and how they
would never dare stoop so low as to degrade another human.
Put your clean hands out to the world. Show them how much
you've been scrubbing. But when the lights go out and nobody is
watching, all of those pretty people get together in their pretty world,
to laugh at all the rest, while they fuck like a bunch of animals and
talk about how many drugs they've ingested within the past three days.
We wonder about the human condition. Why things are the way they are.
People crying everyday because of being treated less than human.
That is such an incredible amount of bullshit.
Want to fix something? FUCKING DO IT ALREADY!
You want to change your life? Want to say, "It's too hard! I can't! Life sucks!?"
There are people dying everyday, praying to gods they don't believe in, just
for a few more seconds on this earth. If you want to change your life,
go talk to that guy who's crying. Go ask that girl about what her real passion in life is and what she'd rather be doing.
Go get to know somebody. Go and really get to know somebody. Inspire somebody.
Be somebody's reason to get up in the morning. Be somebody's reason to stay up at night.
Be somebody's reason to not give up on themselves. Be a savior. Care. Just please care.
Tell them that they should do the same. Change is not always something to be done alone.
Changing the world is a process that involves the whole world itself.
Don't just say how great you are and go on about how everybody has worth. Show somebody.
Mean it with all of your heart. I swear you're bound to make a few friends along the way.
I swear you will save somebody's life. And I promise with all of my heart that somebody will save yours.
Make a reaction. It has to come full circle.
And YOU if you're still reading this. Thank you. Really.
If YOU need somebody to talk to, talk to me. I'm here for YOU I mean it with every fiber of my being.
I love you, whoever you are. You don't have to be alone.
there is a riot in my heart
I arranged some rocks in a circle
then started a fire in my back yard
I tossed my flag of freedom in
'cause f--k this place
and f--k the world I was born in
I can't seem to get it right
I have peaceful dreams
and it's the nightmares that rule the world
I'm nauseous in groups of people
I'd rather stand back unnoticed as it unfurls
spiraling downward with haste
some of us just want to watch the world burn
I dance with the flames
to the sound of singing trees
the slight whisper of the wind relaxes me
I can see flashes of eyes coming from the edge of the wood
I wonder what the animals think of what they are seeing
a thought that I let run through me
standing still, looking within myself
what do I think of what I'm seeing
what do I think of what I'm feeling
there's a spark of lunacy in every human being
and that's what I seem to be experiencing
only myself and nature get to see
how I deal with everything
so that I can wake up everyday with my sanity