The clouds are rolling in;
And it covers up the skies;
Let's me breath and fill my soul;
As it calms what's inside;
There is nothing it compares to;
Where is this new mirage?
You'll find few feelings like this;
Like the strumming of guitars:
You'll escape from all anxiety;
Take vanity in aim;
And hold on to a memory;
That won't happen again.
Its creeping at my minds edge;
The shallows are reeling in;
Talons pull and tear my sanity;
As my heart beat is wearing thin;
Its as constant as my breathing;
Whispering in the back of my mind;
That I would be calmer;
If a blade is what I'd find;
The anxiety is crippling;
As it rises in my throat;
I try my best to push it down;
But it pushes till I can't cope;
I don't know why I'm nervous;
Cannot even meet the eye;
As the eyes are the windows to the soul;
And I don't want him seeing mine;
Its like snapping of my rib cage;
Why are my hands shaking?
Why is the world turning dark?
Why is it I'm not breathing?
All I need is the sound of breathing;
There's no judging in the night;
Listen to your heart like thunder;
And we live in darkness under light…
I stare at the yellow, orange, red
floating across the top of the water
With my net - I chase them.
Those who escape my path
downing in the suctioned whirlpool.
It's fucking cold,
all I can think about -
That fabricated adage, "Fool me once - shame on you. Fool me twice - shame on me."
A genius of a liar,
a salesman at heart.
Intended to be used by the aggressed to remedy the pain,
surreptitiously crafted by the aggressor to ease their own.
Blame the beauty of an innocence so sweet they can actually forgive,
and try again.
Hopefully you believe that you're the fool, so that I can fuck you over one last time.
She was only sixteen,
Yet her mind wandered about the galaxies like no other beings can do. She recognized every little details on the fireballs and the faraway stars when no other beings can. She carved the rocks and shaped them like the stars of the milky way. With different kind of hues coloured the atmosphere she breathed in them all.
She danced her way around Jupiter and hopped on the rings of Saturn and danced like it was her first dance with her groom on her wedding day. She shined like how any other stars would shine. With all her might she pushed herself back to earth like a falling star.And just at the balcony of the house on the corner of that street,
a little boy wished upon her.
He wished upon a wishing star. He looked up to her. He told her his worries.
She was only sixteen,
but her heart felt every little emotions any hearts can and can't feel. She felt things that could forever scar her heart. She felt despair,rage,embarrassed,annoyed,betrayed,hurt,
but also she was inspired,she felt joy,proud,strong and she loved.
The miseries she felt upon being neglect, she dig a hole and found a little dusty emotion in the corner of her heart....hope. She hold onto it,treat it like a child and there faith came up to her and fall in love with hope. She's stronger than any other beings can be as faith and hope unites.
She was only sixteen,
yet she shut her eyes and flee to Neverland with Peter Pan.
"Give me your hands" he whispers.
"The second star to the right,and straight 'till morning" he said. He held her hands and off they went with fairy dusts from Tinker Bell stuck on their icy cold lashes.
To join him and the lost boys.
To be the first lost girl.
To never grow up as the world gets more beastly by minutes.
To forever have a childlike mind and a childlike body.
To escape from the harsh reality and enter the world of immortality where fairies and wisps flew by like it's a normal day for grocery shopping.
She was only sixteen,
but she had hurdled through life with things that the beings in The Wizard of Oz lacks. She tricked manipulators with her wisdom,she showed her betrayers how huge of a heart she has.
She braved herself through all the horrendous obstacles she had to face. Life hit her,hard and just when she got up it kicked her in the stomach and let her bleed. But she saw things differently. She accepted the kick and let all the negativity in her lungs escaped and let all the positive vibes entered her.
With hands as small as an elf's,she opened it and let everything get caught in her hands. Like the net of a fisherman,not everything great gets trapped. But when he's blessed with a huge fortune,big fishes came to him.
The thorns,the sadness,the euphoria...
She accepted everything and smiled. "Thank you" she says.
She was only sixteen,
but she's already a beautiful aurora herself.
I feel my heart rate quicken and I try to hide
I try to put away all the sinful feelings in my mind
But then my brain stops working and my senses go into overdrive
I feel a throbbing in my pulse; I need this if I'm to survive
So I bite my lip and listen as my hormones whisper lies
Just feel it, just release it, just a quickie and you'll be fine
I know that this is wrong, but I've got no choice but to ignore her cries
I cover her mouth with my hand and onto the bed we fly
I'm on top and she's pinned beneath me; tears form in her eyes
Begging me to let go of her wrists, I'm sure that she'd rather die
I force my lips over hers and swallow her cries
I start to feel a tension build up; it's a coiled spring inside
My manhood's aching, and it's quaking, begging me to slide
Her pants down further, maybe I could if she'd just shut her eyes
Fuck, what have I become? She's probably a virgin, you know that, right?
That thought only squeezes my senses to another level of high
I make the decision to go all the way, until my body is satisfied
Her breasts, her hair, her hips were all things that I couldn't deny
I took from her so freely and left her whimpering by my side
She must have thought I was asleep, she tried to escape outside
I grabbed her before she could and asked her to please stay the night.
Deathline, trapped, burdened, crashed, crushed
Locked up for hours muddling thoughts of escape
The sun, the bright freezing sky, dark blue churned up ocean topped with white caps
like moving whipped cream
I dream, from my claustrophobic place
Pressure cooked, mind squished, must I say this again and again
Finish. Burden lifted, fantasy of floating away
must stay, mind locked into treadmill, rolling out producing
breathing stale air, mind in a tunnel, through muddy darkness
Ambling through this life alone,
It costs me little sleep,
Retaining friends like water,
Doomed to drag me to the deep.
Solitude's my prison,
And my fortress too,
Denying me both joy and love,
But keeping me from you.
Through your beauty and your smile,
You brought me naught but pain,
I let you through the walls I'd made,
I won't do it again.
And friends are little better,
Their whispers at your back,
Willing you to shatter,
Willing you to crack.
Frozen smiles and empty words,
They know not that they lie,
For it's them that ring the bells,
When the end is nigh,
Maybe though I utter false,
I know deep down it's true,
This back and forth in my heart,
As I think it through.
I can't escape the ruin of men,
My head can't rule my heart,
Existing in cold limbo,
Not at the end nor start.
I cannot stand to stay alone,
But something holds me back,
From joining with the masses,
On the well-worn track.
While my hopes lose out to fears,
I'll stay a single man,
Unable to both loathe and love,
Without a master plan.
I amble through this life alone,
And it costs me all my sleep,
Retaining doubts like water,
Doomed to drag me to the deep,
Retaining doubts like water,
As I spiral to the deep.
I'm a realist, mildly an idealist.
My ideas create a mindset that allows me to express feelings
But I build up a wall, high as a skyscraper..I stand, as a realist I know if I jump, I'm bound to meet my maker. I don't think idealist are weak.
I just think they escape the honesty they seek.
You don't walk a straight line in order for you to finally reach your peak.
Obstacles come and go, water is a need if you want to grow, you can't have a lightbulb without an idea and expect it to magically glow.
I know every action I do and especially when I am wrong but, I just won't rewrite all my wrongs, they inspire all of my greatest songs.
Optimistic that I'll make it, I just need more effort than 50 percent
because you get what you put in, as a realist I know if you put in half, half back is all you will ever get.
People remember your mistakes, the heroics they just simply forget.
I can't stand when people think it's okay to live a life without any regrets.
Sure things happen for a reason and karma "may" have your enemies morally bleeding, but your ideology sounds misguiding and thought process misleading. Karma is an excuse to allow a higher calling contribute to your spiteful abuse, you don't want the crime on your soul so you allow the angels to fatally shoot. It's fine, before we die, we all commit a crime.
Women kill, men steal, just being in love should require you to do time.
Born a realist sinner...far from an idealist winner
Success doesn't come over night
The sweet life doesn't come until after you've made your dinner..and cleaned the plate, but we're never satisfied...nah, we going to probably eat again late.
Work hard for the dream, don't just rely on faith.
A realist knows she may not show up, even when you scheduled a date.
It's all love to the victims, stuck in a fiction. If you hate this piece...your ignorance got you unable to listen.
Not my problem though. I'm speaking without any permission! I like that idea...oh Damn, wait...I think I just become my own contradiction?
...forget it, I'm healing, my words and unpredictable wisdom, I am still dealing.
Insanity is a fear that is expressed towards you when others have confusion
A realist, an idealist..no one is right...our concepts to each other seem all an illusion.
what they call a heart, my every anchor chained
what the pages make my story, every loss explained
like words in letters, as if they retain it, like they make it better
as if the knowing of it loosed or broke these fetters
eight ways the shapes of my only alphabet spells s-u-r-v-i-v-o-r
infinitely too short a word and leaving me to wander again if I'm alive in her
they think it breeds strength to outlive the beatings
they think it makes a great chase never retreating in the pursuit of what's fleeting
just once couldn't I rest and feel safe like it could all get clearer?
in the haze of aging when I'm sure it isn't my real smile in any mirror
in the crowded, faceless streets of having to stand on my own two feet alone
with all the hurtful, hateful, squalls this living condones
everyone thinking they know me because they know my name
know the face that's a mask over what's hollowed out by the aches I don't explain
and someone asks me to come near, to be dear, to love again
and they give like gifts and they mend the rifts and they care and then
the cycle of costs begins again, the loss of the friends again breathes
and makes every swallowed wine taste less like escape and reminds that it never relieves
and every candle on a cake burns another year I waited to start over
and every green field yields beauty unnoticed in my frantic search for a lucky clover
the pages pile with words wasted on hoping for better
and my few days waste away with so much time lost in trying to understand "forever"
so if you think that you know what made me then you haven't been listening to the words I didn't say
and if you've ask me for love then you've never felt what I already gave away
so put the times you've felt greatness on one side and see if they outweigh the hurt
or if the scales tip in favor of the ways you've failed and it still hurts
and trudge the horrible roads to the edges of the maps and see if you outrun the hurt
and see if any hand held or risk taken or affection given dispels the way you hurt
all the slivered glass pieces of my heart just cut me to blood as I try to pick them up
and all that my view of what could have been does, is lend tears as I watch those doors shut
and all another line will explain
is how it will never be the last line if I'm trying to write out the pains
I can never explain the hurt
When we're little, we believe the place to go is up, up, and away
We get a little older, and we want to know what's down there
In the deep
The beauties, or the beasts?
One day we'll be adults
Too tired to try and fly
We'll just climb
Working to the best of our abilities for a good reputation
Polishing our shoes, straightening our ties
And one day, it's all gone
You wonder how it all could have happened so fast
Well, at some point, you turned around
And started rolling downhill
Then you realize
The best thing about all this is that the ride down never ends
It's as infinite as space
You see that everything can always be worst
You can always fall a little deeper
Which is why even the ones everyone call "freaks", are beautiful
But this hill has nothing to do with actions
It's why the famed have a spotlight
They're in too deep
Deep in greed they count their cash
Only to waste it on yet another mask
This is why I can't admire the rich
Their power comes from what the masks of deception bring them
They try to drag down those of us free from their evil gravity
But we don't give in
Hell, we win
We don't just barely make it out with bruises and black eyes
We dance away with grace
To the top of the hill
We don't dance to escape the monstrous underworld
We dance to stick it to those that made us believe the surface wasn't beautiful
the colors lept cross my eyelids
waiting for a way to escape
but there was none
for I was asleep