Once I met a boy
he sat next to me in
We drew pictures
and laughed together,
and when the teasing comments began,
I realised I wouldn't mind if they were true.
Me and this boy, we went through everything.
We drew pictures of owls and bassists,
we taunted and mocked,
I beat him up with a white-board eraser
and he roared like the MGM lion.
I was known for goats,
him for cats.
Both for art, for pentagrams.
We spent time together,
me and this boy.
I fell in love with this boy.
This boy had friends.
They weren't too friendly.
One of them, a girl.
She ruined his life.
She kept me up till two,
reading the note he'd
supposedly written for me,
"I already do."
He were Smokey the Bear,
and he sang love songs on the green.
But all too soon
he was laughing at me.
He rolled his eyes
when I quoted Eric Carr,
as if to say
I had gone to far.
And yet he still
mocks and taunts,
I imagine his touch,
as he rips up my heart.
I've tried to get over him,
believe me I have,
you're probably sick of reading
about my encounters with him.
Today's been a year,
and it all seems as if
it happened yesterday,
I cry for what we could've had,
but what we never did.
I open the note from him,
the one that used to make my stomach
queasy, and as I read I realise
it's lost it's affect, the note
with no actions to follow,
I tuck it away and vow to never look
at it again,
but tomorrow comes and I'm holding it,
"He loved me once, didn't he?"
The words you'd circled,
and dammit, I tried, I really did,
but you were always the one thing
standing between me
Your Violet is Violent
Strength of your palm hot
on my cheeks
force like the delicate pressing of
in between pages of my heart that
is no longer filled with the obscurity of
White, blank, pages, grey with
Corroded memories of the
for what was to become.
Only the Settling of the
in the Australian Dark
your first intake of Weed
The hark of lark,
Nursing your paper heart as I
as I wait with Bated Breath.
I'm like a pencil
My lead has run out
And my eraser is threatening to be done
Everytime I try to help
Or fix something
It wears out more
I'm wearing thin
I'm afraid that I don't have any more to give.
Something painful to numb the pain, something to drain the shame, something.
Whether it's the bruises that accompany hitting the wall,
the beautiful pinkish purple scars that come with the cuts,
the deep, blissful pain that comes with the enduring healing of the eraser burns,
the stinging, aching hunger pains from depriving yourself of any nourishment, the burning in your throat from purging, the red hot scratches, it's the things you don't think about while in the moment.
Anything, from the pills you swallow to get high or low,
the alcohol you drink to feel the burn, and numb the pain.
The certain assortment of things you can smoke to get high, to have 'fun', shooting up to feel the rush,
snorting to blur your mind.
It's anything to get you out of your head for awhile, anything to numb yourself, anything to steal you away. Anything to take your mind off of your surroundings.
Regrets may accompany most of the actions, yet you aren't always aware of them; you just don't care.
"I desire all things that will destroy me in the end."
Its time to relax
Where my hookah is ?
The loveliest hookah ever
The rarest smoke
Its not an ordinary one
Its made of a person
The tobacco is the name
The flavor is her
The smoke is kiss
The pipe is lips
The mood called Mel
The results are awesome
I get high
So does the hookah
I smoke it all the time
Inhale it hard
It gets to my mind
As fast as a thunder
With a clean white heart
It's not harmful
Its too light
But feels strong
Bad Memory eraser
Bad mood murder
Yeah thats my hookah
The magic hookah
My secret of happiness
My herbs for calming
And the way for cumming
I love you,,,
This is me, Rachael.
I would die from a papercut and blame it on the finger.
I would argue with an eraser if the words didn't look right.
I would tell the moon to shine all day just to piss off the sun.
I see colours in my imagination; my dreams are wild and beyond comparison.
I tend to love too hard and quickly get burnt by the one I flew so high for.
I read too much and believe in past lives.
I forgive but don't forget.
My trust is willing but protects my heart like a guardian of fate.
I will be silent when someone talks shit, because I don't take fools gladly, and a wise man never responds to defecation of verbal ignorance.
I willingly argue my point in my head til you know I have analysed my response.
Nothing is taken lightly.
I would argue that the road is really hard and quite weary, and curse my boots as they hit the hallowed ground.
I am impetuous, I rush in, I seek thrill and danger.
Hedonism is my game; I play deftly with an air of mastery.
I am sensitive. As skin is to the weather. A gust of harsh wind could blow me away.
This is me; only a slight composition of who I am, and what I am made of.
And I make no apology.
my memories with you are like little patches of weeds scattered around my brain
must destroy them
must pick them out
the promising happiness came to an abrupt stop when you decided that my love wasn't enough
you needed more
you needed someone else
uninvited , you infested my heart like termites to an old house
I soon embraced you
all you did was prove how weak my foundations were
This little razor
Is like an eraser
It wipes my mind clean.
A new pallet.
Room for a new dream
The question of my life,
I remember once I answered with,
A fashion show in Milan. A big one too, with a runway longer than the height of the Empire State Building.
Everyone told me they could see me executing the part,
They said to me, Well, you've got the legs for it. You're prettier than any girl I ever saw.
Later I realized that their lack of good grammar and eye contact meant something
When I had this strange obsession with cats, dogs, and anything in between,
I pictured myself as a Veterinarian,
A higher class one, everybody and their long forgotten mothers would come to my little place,
Drop the family dog off and come back smiling 40 feet wide
because Buster's heart worms are history and his hair is neatly tidied
But then I noticed that I wanted to be a Doctor,
fix people's bullet holed chests and broken limbs with just one touch and a patella
I started watching large amounts of television,
Shows about ER rooms in The Big Apple, everything that goes down on just a day to day bases,
the worst case scenarios
and shows about the latest Medical Technology
I then realized that I couldn't eat anything without puking my guts out afterward
So I started drawing,
I'd done it all my life,
Nothing to little doodles in the margins of your spiral notebook
But I got bored just sitting there with a pencil in my right hand and eraser in the left
I didn't move enough either, so I burned them, hung the ones I thought were worthy enough on my walls
Now people ask me this question everyday it seems,
Something about those nine syllables with the question mark at the end appeals to most everyone I've met
When I think about it too much I end up getting worse migraines than I've ever gotten
My hands shake, the palms get cold and sweaty,
The back of my neck prickles with a type of cold worse than dry ice
Honestly I don't know where I'll be in ten years,
I could be dead,
nothing but ashes on someones entertainment center,
Somewhere in Maui,
or vacationing half way across the world with a husband who drinks more than he talks
If you can answer this question and get where you said you would from day one,
You must have your whole life just dancing on the tips of your fingers
Dear #2 pencil I want to thank you for always being there for me
I know you break easy under pressure but for the most part you're stronger than I'll ever be
See I'm hiding behind the curtain while you take center stage
You give me the swagger that's unleashed upon this page
Eraser never there but only because you give what little you have to make me sound better
Pens so selfish and Don't you dare listen to those other colors cause you're the real gogetter
Black or white I never quite understood it, when asked a question I just ignored it
I'm thinking I'd like to stick with the shade of gray I'm familiar with
Everyone seems to take advantage of what you're capable of , I promise to respect you
I know our time will only grow shorter so I wont break you down but build you up forget the life you're used to
This is my point of view and I think you're great, like us all overworked and under paid
You end up fading away but I cant complain, even one day I will decay