I have seen her,
fair skin and hair like fire,
her eyes soft as two ink drops in a pool of water.
Just beyond the green pasture,
before the full blue sky, there she stands,
white dress gently pushed by the breeze,
side to side, again, again.
A feeling of apprehension as I approach her,
followed soon by bubbling nervousness, and then her smile,
that does not change, her smile,
the warmth that wells up from inside me overflows, apprehension washed away in the flood.
I have seen her,
fair skin and hair like fire,
her embrace like strange fire warming me from inside,
her eyes soft as two droplets of ink,
soft, and soft.
Hold the tears back until the night
I know you will be there waiting
For there's no one to catch them throughout the day
Once I lay down I know I can relinquish all that was forced to be withheld
This cruel world would just let them fall unnoticed
You're waiting to take them in with open arms
So I hold back till the sun has set
Knowing your embrace awaits me
Say my prayers and its time to rest
When I lay down you'll be there as promised
Snuggled up close
Knowing your only purpose at that moment is to let me fell into you
I can release my fears upon you, along with sorrow and pain
Allowing the flood gates of my heart and eyes to open
Every tear I cry you take in without judgment
Again I pour it all out without shame, knowing that tomorrow you'll be here just the same
So thankful for my...
Tear soaked pillow
Basking in the safe, smooth, heat
of her love
I am transported to soft clouds bouncing gracefully into green mountains
plush foam stuffed animals fall wistfully from pastel skies
and we spin, hand in hand…smiling
swollen heart nearly bursting with joy
radiating heat and light onto those around me
filling children with unbridled ecstasy as if ice cream waterfalls
fell into cotton candy pools
elation encompasses me with the realization that this love in not unrequited
but, is instead returned with the same vigor and fervor
experienced by triumphant athletes or politicians
winning glazed with success
and her smile attracts my eyes and I feel warm
and her scent stirs my loins
her existence embodies my desires and I weep
overcome and underserving
just a man, and more, just a human
but enough for her
perfect for her
we share an embrace
feeling it pass between us
The kid whose mom always prefaced his introduction with "he's a little shy". He wasn't shy, he was careful, careful from an early age to speak only the most particular of words after seeing how it was a careless choice of words that tore his parents apart. This was the kid who could hear his father yelling and his mother crying but lacked the courage to leave his post at the bottom of the stairs and give his mom a hug. He knew that was all she really needed.
He knew from an early age all he required for a sound nights sleep was a hug and kiss from his dad. This is the kid who would stay up, wordless, into the night wondering if he was safe. As the evening waned and the hours passed he'd never think that his dad forgot. Daddy never forgets. It became his mantra and as he fell into a deep meditative state he would have the same dream as he ever had on those hug less nights. Waking up the next morning he could always recall that warm blanket of a hug because after all, daddy never forgets..
Be the kid who held his hand over his heart during the morning pledge but never volunteered to say it over the speakers because he hated the sound of his own voice. His teacher would bring it up at parent teacher night but his mom always stood up for him "he's just shy". Upon returning home they would ask how his day was and he would smile, shrug, and fall into them, simply awaiting that embrace.
Be the kid who, when his parents finally divorced, never asked them what happened. He never asked them because what if his words had the same effect? Words were lava and if you fell into them you would die. So instead you choose life. On walks home from school, hopping from stone to stone, you never squished an ant or trashed a nest, you cried for the first time when your dog died because nothing ever loved you like he did. He never said a word yet he understood you better than anyone ever did and the thought of coming home and not seeing him basking in the sunlight under his favorite spot in the living room made you bawl.
That night you would have a dream about heaven, place where you could visit in your sleep, a place where upon opening ones mouth sunbeams burst forth hot enough to bask in but never enough to burn.
Be the kid whose most anxious night was spent at that first middle school dance. Boys and girls dancing and the compulsion within him to do the same was palpable. Sure he could have danced alone but He didn't want to dance alone. He wanted to dance with that little girl sitting down by the Coke machine. The one with the frilly dress down to her knees, red band in her hair, and bangs that begged the question "where do i get me one of those. You should be this kid because he actually paid attention when his parents were watching their old movies. You would walk up to that girl and without a word look down into her eyes and for a moment forget why it is that you walked over, but when you finally came too you'd remember that scene from that old black and white movie and put your hand out just like Humphrey bugarr did - at least you think that was his name.
Be this kid because while everyone else was awkwardly moving and swaying like branches in the wind you knew how to hold someone. You knew how to have a conversation without words and this night you two were writing novels. What song was playing? No clue, she'll get mad at you one day for not remembering and you'll be surprised when it was something as stupid as 'I want it that way'.
This is the kid whose favorite nights were spent in her car after driving you home. This is the same kid who when she told him she loved him all he could think was "how can I see you so well when the porch light isn't even on?” She says again, hey - you silly goose, did you hear me? I said I love you. Be this kid because you weren't stupid like everyone else and said "I think I love you too". You grabbed her face and kissed her and for that moment both your worlds stood still. Stagnant in that pregnant pause, just before you broke, you’d catch her gaze and simply smile, warm as heaven.
Be this kid because you would never have a problem with people not liking you. You were far too observant to fall into that trap. Everyone hated the bullies and just called them jerks. The class clown was entertaining but everyone said he was dumb. The girls in the lunchroom seemed never to have anything nice to say about Jennifer and Lindsey and you couldn't even finish your lunch because you just wanted to slam your hands on the table and yell "no Sam, he doesn't like you. Maybe you should actually let him talk instead of complaining about how you don't like his friends. Next time you see him don't beg him for his jacket because, fuck, it’s really cold at the skating rink in December. He told you he was taking you to the rinks, why didn't you bring your own damn jacket?
But you would never actually say that, because people would label you judgmental. Rather, remain in peace as the quiet kid because no one could ever put a label on you with any certainty. Sure they could say you were mean, more likely they would say you're weird, but you had loyal friends. Friends who upon hearing that would ask "Really? He's weird? Why is he weird hmm?” Their rebuttal was always "I mean...I dunno, he just really weird, I guess". You would never give them an actual reason to hate you. The meanest things they could ever say about you would be opinion. Opinions are like really big tits. Full and generally well rounded, but in the end it was the real stuff you were after.
Be the quiet kid because your silence would show strength. When she breaks up with you through oceans and sands miles away over the phone you won't say a word. She won't be able to see the look of devastation in your eyes and she'll feel terrible for doing it. She would tell her friends that you were so strong. "He didn't yell he, he didn't argue, he didn't ask me if there was another guy, he didn't even cry". Yeah. You cried. But she would never know how much.
Be the quiet kid who always meets someone else. The quiet kid who will draw in strangers because they can feel his energy, they're figuratively and literally moved by it. They sit down next to you across the bench and introduce themselves with a perfectly innocent "whatcha reading?” Which you think is a dumb question because the words “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime” were clearly printed in large yellow text on both the front and back covers. Simple trivialities.
Be the quiet kid because the quiet kid will become a quiet man, a quiet man who people could always turn to as their rock. You are stable, you are certain, and you always display your emotions because how else would you speak?
Be the quiet kid because the quiet man will have quiet children, and their children will be quiet and the children after them will be quiet too. Be the quiet kid because you and all your quiet children will never forget to give your kids their goodnight hug.
In icy dreams of the present’s past
Holed up in eternity
Surrounded by the wisest fools
Younger than I
Older than Time, so I’ve been told
Floating back through wisps of memory
Drenched in nostalgic gleam
I pick up pieces of naive me
And smile for the love of innocence -
The childlike warmth of Ancient New
Like watching clouds dance over Naked Sun
Ah yes. And so roads converge, again and again,
twisting infinitely through the cosmos, the heavens,
manifesting encounters with the personified void
In angelic form, dancing, beads, hair like silk
In desert exotic, caves of rustic sunset come dawning night
In solitude plane, contemplation erases nervousness
In tunnel of depth, going deeper and deeper and deeper,
In glowing brilliance, magnifying illumination of nothingness,
In transcendent beauty of body and mind,
In the arms, in the embrace, of the Universal Womb of All Life,
There exists no thought, no worry, no noise, no pollution,
Like the waterfalls
Or the ocean tides
Flow away on dreams and believe in anything
every second i see you is another second spent in flames,
you can try to apologize, but you know that i cannot be tamed,
if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't be sitting alone at lunch or running
around teary eyed so much,
you told me that you would never hurt me- that i was the perfect girl..
but now you can talk to me or even look me straight in the eyes... and i
don't see why...
i look over my shoulder, and see you walking again and suddenly I'm standing
in flames trapped and pain is increased by a magnitude of ten,
you laugh and smile as you wrap your arms low around her waist and kiss
her lightly on the lips,
i turn away feeling my breath leave me and my chest heave tightly,
i just want to escape and never have to see that beautiful smile, and feel myself
in the flames as i burn,
I'm not suicidal and I'm not even depressed,
I'm just all alone in the world.
and you took a part of me when you left.
i try and forget the pain,
and forget the hurting,
but the thoughts themselves are just too burdening,
finally, i just accept the feelings,
and embrace the pain,
it all drifts away, and starts to unfold,
i stand now not in warm fire.... but cold
we've both been down
we've both been
and it is hella nice to know
i have someone to go to
one who knows
who's been there
who is there
who wouldn't judge
who wouldn't laugh
your embrace is the safest place
for wiping my tears
for kissing my wounds
for being a home
i'll always be a home to you.
Your name is engraved on the underside of a tree I’ve yet to climb one day
I step out my pod only to see you
A glow upon your forehead calls my name
No words in this sunken land
Where music tones are breathed in
A darkness fall upon the sand
The like I’ve never seen
Heavy heart stands alone as the chosen leaves
In sweet embrace, it all comes clear in new pods
Oh no, now all see how light is dimmed
So easy to turn their backs on it
But surprise steps into a prism coat of redness
To lead the way back to joining the one
All witness the beauty of highest sacrifice
You’ve taken off your headlight to ensure
I don’t get left behind.
The fire that burns deep,
an inferno that glows red.
Flames that burst forth,
scorching wherever they tread.
Sending out the heat
that incites passion's need.
With each embrace, every kiss,
the rage of fire must feed.
Words of love set the scene.
A single touch excites the pair.
To sear deeply within the soul,
igniting the blaze of sexual affair.
A smile that glows in the light of day,
to kindle with a hint of a heart that cares.
To glare out from a sweltering body with
glints of passions, that into an inferno flares.
To melt within the embrace of love.
Roasted by a glance so bold.
Reaching out to grasp every moment
of the illicit feelings you must behold.
Baking within the throes of sexual desires.
A body racked with trembling needs.
To set forth-thwart the rules of life-
with the spilling of loves boiling seeds.
It isn't a struggle
it isn't miserable
I love for a short while
to be out running about,
Working the muscles,
Checking life and nature out.
Fuels the center.
Enlivens the body, spirit, and brain.
From morning until sleeping
A constant pace throughout the day
In California we work out and embrace fitness
In the golden arms of sun and sand
Where the waves crash with a divine poignancy
Nature and beauty, centering
I used to fly the long coast line
Watching the dolphins in numbers
The surfers floating, talking, surfing
The seagulls alive on the vortices of my wings
And my heart in a palace of peaceful serenity
Move far away...
To the forests, lakes, and rivers
Where weather does rage in all natural forms
Still I embrace all the energy and peace
it is not cold, I'm awake and living
So at home in the elements, all a part of me
Happy in my soul, content...yes. that I am
Funny the perspectives
The mind-sets from Muscle Beach mentalities
To the wilds of Michigan
This is what makes being a traveller
What different worlds, different ways
None of them wrong,
some a little mix
From here and there
The world is a very small place
The world is really so big