From my head to my toes
I can tell you everything wrong
Things that I'd change
Things that I want
My hair should be shinier
and my face less oval,
My nose should be smaller
And my teeth should be straighter
I should have thinner, longer fingers
And a bigger behind
and maybe longer legs
So I could run fast and be hard to find.
The width of my feet are much too much
and my nails break easily,
I bite my finger when worried
But then again, that all just makes me.
It makes me different from you
And I find that pretty cool
That I got a list of things
and so do you.
So think yourself different
think yourself bold
for accepting all your imperfections
and not living so cold.

When you're in love defying fate comes so easily
Bound into your own hand-crafted fantasy
The difference between angels and demons becomes your discrepancy
And day light becomes the darkest thing to see
But we still love like tomorrow
Nothing's going to become different
We're not just going to wake up
And suddenly be ignorant
We're already way too far
There's no more blood just a scar

And maybe I'm afraid
To lift this double-sided blade
Oh I want you so painfully
You're the angel God sent me

And all I could do is make a demon of you
'Cause helping you's the only thing I couldn't do
Took a knife to your innocence and went right through
And now I can't get over you
Because I'm the one who's mistaken
But I'm the only one who can see
The beast I made of this beauty
Because I made a demon of
The angel that God sent me

And now I want to go back in time
I'll make whatever sacrifice
Even if it costs my life
Because my love run through his veins
And that's what made all the pain
Because I bound him up in chains

So light me up in a burst of flames
Because I'm the one to blame
I've covered my angel in tainted stains
Just never cry out my name
And I'll be okay

And now I can't get over you
Because I'm the one who's mistaken
But I'm the only one who can see
The beast I made of this beauty
Because I made a demon of
The angel that God sent me

Our Lady of Chains

I don’t think I love you anymore.
I give up on trying
I can’t bring myself down enough for you
I am already nothing

My heart is a piece of paper, crumpled again and again
There are only so many times you can look passed the wear and tear
The water stains from the words you say
The small rips, with no intentions of destroying me completely..
but doing it ever so slowly..

What was once written upon it is no longer legible
No longer easily seen
Maybe the words have already faded
Maybe I can’t get them back

And I have already forgotten what was once written there

I am

Band t-shirts
Fireflies in the park late at night
She whispers something in my ear
(abstract gluing tiles on random surfaces)
Jagged edges sticking out everywhere
Weird and for the most part bad haircuts
Punk rock shows and punk rock moshing and punk rock girls
Actually pretty good at playing guitar when I'm in the right mindset
Not easily proud
Classic rock blasting in the car, too loud for most of them
In the screeching highs of Plant and Rose
And in the deep low cuts of Slash and my heroes
All the birds in the world, all the time
Not over-dramatic, just dramatic enough, as he winks
Both impossibly ignorant and secretly wise (graced infrequently)
Words, words, words
Indescribable--
Babble, ramble, gabbing, loquacious
Wordless, hungry, quite voracious
for any definition at all.

I'm the reaching summit and falling the who
                                                                            o
                                                                              o
                                                                                 ole way down, mister Sisyphus to you
I'm random dancing home alone
Singing my favorite songs in the shower and I can't help
Mouthing the words as I ride my bike
The burning desire to suddenly burst into song as in a musical!
A dream and a dreamer
A wizard in many ways
A jack of many trades
And a deuce of even more

I'm scratch-scratch-scratching at the door
...knob? oh, there it is

The moon flies high,
The sun dips low
       The stars come out.
Dredging up this thing called Hope
                And spirits fall to empty
                                                        no where left to go.
When found to be within the state of Hope
                     Get Out.
A timid,
              frightening,
                                 joyful,
                                             soul-wrenching
place                    to                  be.
Cannot stop
Cannot control it.
                              Everything can be controlled
Because those words...
                      I know there were not meant for me
Those
            Last                                     someone else gets to make you happy... everyday.
                      Three
                                  Words.
     The message
      The Hope
The you want to be there
         Not here
         Not my arms.
                Hope is an empty void
Both uplifting and demolishing
                                                   At the same time.
Must be controlled.
                                 Is being controlled.
         You do not want me.
My heart has skipped many a beat for you.
               Time to get that steady rhythm back.
These will have no more titles
                          no more thoughts
                          Just Release.
I apologize for being that naive
                                  That much of a Joke
                                  For holding that much Hope.
You'll put that easy smile there
               with one extra just for you.
Put there oh so easily.
                                                             ­                           Love to see you shine.
               Sorry for being ignorant
               Sorry for playing the fool.
My heart holds onto much
Including the memory of you...
                                                   Someone will be lucky to just have You.
As more moments pass,
                                       this will likely be easier
As long as that smile...
                                       never parts from your face.


                                                             ­                                             June 12, 2013

I perch on a tension rope.
Tight and taut, can hardly cope,
with the strains of a life;
twanging and keening, razors edge.
Will I break?  I know I might.  
Hold it! Hold it in! I’d like to fight,
all those who stand in the way.
Somebody!  Somebody’s got to pay!
Lonely bitterness is my comfort.
Cynical sympathy easily found
from such as you: smug superiority.
What do you say?  How do you know?
You haven’t been there, suffered the blow.
Blow after blow, life beating me down.
A plot by you bastards who just want to own,
my life and my soul and all I possess.
And you want to know about my distress?
Go away now; leave me alone!
Get out of my life!  Haven’t I shown?
I’m all in control!
So what are those screams?
Am I doing that?  
It’s not what it seems.

he's been running
running away all of his life
he's run from his parental responsibilities
he's been running for many years
he's a father of neglect
his children he did reject
he left them at a young age
he showed not an iota of care
he was so self absorbed
in running elsewhere
he's run a marathon
all around the globe
covering his tracks
should he be found out
he's used deception
cunning and guile
to avoid his children's smiles
his primary concern has been for himself
he's so in love with himself
he's had two families of children
and their mothers
had to fill the role
of both parents
while he was chasing
another piece of skirt
to satisfy his wanderlust
he's not a man
he's a mouse
he's run
well away from his fatherly duties
he'll die alone
and he'll be easily forgotten
as men like him
are very very rotten
he deserted his children
abandoned them
he had no love
in his hollow heart for them

Fake leaders become annoyances like fruit flies on Sunday mornings..
Take over the role with false ambiguity and pride
As the lion prowls it finds those weak ambitions.

Hiding behind shaky thought, these people smell of coward with simple dispositions
For when the time comes they lay down like mole mallets, popping up again and again to tempt even the clearest of minds

Mindful are the true lead acts, I say these words lightly since ax traps lay dormant in words with settings like these...

Every moment, every syllable, every body contortion tells something
I try to erase these first impressions but I'm beginning to see I'm just a creation...
Of my own actions and reactions
Like a vague tempest, can i live?!

Scream out "no one gives a fuck" like high school games, easily lost in a crowd but always rising to the challenge of my own self teacher.
A student of my own game and never sitting on the bleachers, I study
Between the lines that are written

Mixed decisions read within to find a safe haven for my head.

--BRD