I can't imagine a life without you

No one to comfort me
When I am weak,
No one to share the joy
When I do something dumb,
No one to tell me "Get well soon"
The same way you'd tell me,
No one to share secrets with
When they're dying to be let out,
No one to call me late at night
When everyone is sleeping but I'm afraid,
No one to crack lame jokes,
No one to say "I'm speshul" all the time and just
Laugh
Endlessly
Even though we might have just
Cried

I can't imagine a life without you

I've never laughed so much in my life
I've never felt so
Reassured
That someone
Understands
And
Looks out for me,
Worries for me if I
Die;
I've never felt so
Appreciated
Receiving all the
Beautiful cards and
Fanciful handicrafts
All made lovingly by
Your perfect hands;
I've never felt so
Comforted
To know that
You won't
Ever
Break your promise

I can't imagine a life without you

All the time we spent together
Fated or
Not so fated,
I was overjoyed to think
I knew someone in SAP!
All the time we talked to each other,
Told each other
Funny stories or
Sad stories or
Real-life stories that made us sad
And then the other party would
Somehow,
Always,
Magically relate
And try to help;
Might take a while
But it always
Makes me smile.
All the time we'd laugh that slow laugh
And no one would understand us
And we'd just
Laugh even more:
Heh...heh...Hahahahaha...

I can't imagine a life without you

The first day of school
Not meeting you
And there'd be no one to
Talk about having "the mood"
And there'd be no one to
Laugh about having a lao gong;
And there'd be no one to
Talk me out of dying or
Telling me
Time after time to
Appreciate my life or
Just be random with and
Cheer up :)

I can't imagine a life without you

Not you
And you
And you
And you

Just one gone
It means so much
Each one gave my life
Her special touch

So don't you ever
Try to leave
My heart would stop
And I won't breathe
I'd die right there
I'd die right then
It's not the same without you
Not ever again

The Compact


Some of us are given to,
upon our person to secret
instrumentation to adjust
the patina of our facial tones,
lest the glare of man made light
lend a shine undesired and worse,
uncovered windowed pores allow
revelations undesirable into our souls.

In other words, a compact and its constituents:
puff, powder and mirror.

Observed a compact in use
between Act I and Act II,
the deft use of the mirror,
angled, moved back and forth
to provide perspective,
close-up and/or total.

The Gods of Metaphor,
Deities of Derision
force my unwilling reveal
thru the holy confessional screen:
I too have a compact.

My compact, a deal, a treaty accord
between the white rigors of life daily,
and spasms of black lies
to make appearances tolerable.
My compact is what I cover up
with powder and puffery.

Aged sixty two years, life nonsensical,
perversely inversely, the dependence upon
these cracked hands grows,
dying cells dividing like newborns,
worrisome weariness make the lies
come faster and more frequent,
which is why my compact has a mirror.

No matter what perspective enamored,
In the mirror, my reality check,
No powder upon my eyes,
the brutality and the joy,
of life is undisguised.

Nonetheless, I have more,
Morethanless, the balance
is favorable, the outlook positive.
My compact with you is to
remind us all, through
music, dance, words and love,
This is the only compact
with the power of human law.

rose petals grazed your cheeks
and daisy chains were woven into your hair
and your lips were stained as red as cherrys
and you looked happy
but on the inside you were dying

you were crying so much inside of your head
but on the outside you smiled
your lips bright still
and you wanted to cry, to let it all out
but that would ruin the façade and the mascara you'd put on

because the world didn't see how broken
you were
all they saw was the pretty girl with no troubles at all
and now you're gone, forever and ever
because the monsters in her head finally got her

Life is more than just time
It's more of poem with less of a rhyme.

Sky blue, trees brown, grass green....
You know what I mean?
Maybe it's not coming out right...trying to explain the meaning of life
But like.....who's knows what it is?
I do.
And the answer is:

This space is just for experience.
30 to 90 years of just feeling it.
Doing the things that you need to do,
and giving things back instead of just stealing shit.

You walk through the world just learning.
I sit in class just yearning,
"I need to be out there and I want to see."
My thought wheels keep turning.
And I try to be more than just one...
Because we weren't put on this world just for fun.
No.
We are here for a reason.

But even that's hard to believe because we're suffering treason.
High.
Like the kids these days.
Playing with fire
"You snaze, you laze."

But I digress.
Now, what was I talking about? Oh yeah,
PRESS!
Printing these stories about celebrities who quite frankly,
Just don't mean shit to me.
I mean, shouldn't we be focusing on something else for a change?
How about how the earth's climate has changed?

There are animals who are dying,
Their kind is shrinking.
Oh, and the water level is rising...
And we are still sinking.

Looks like no one is gonna build us a boat
So we all might have to hold onto our breath
And float on...like that band said.
"To be or not to be." Like that man said.
Right? Because our generation is so "stupid"
We have nothing to show because we don't do shit?

Well you just wait and see.
And for that you'll need patience and tenacity.
How about another subject? cause we have plenty of time.
A few years i'd say, but no...that won't fit in the rhyme.
So how about the mind?
It's a brilliant thing.
It controls us all like an ancient king.

Like for example, King Tut.
And i'd go on but you know what?
I just remembered I was talking about life, am I right?
It's already dark out, and as it turns out, I don't have all night.
So i'm going to leave you with this little piece.
And out of everything this is what i'd like you to take with you, please,
People don't get through it easy
L-I-F-E.

But we are strong.
I mean, we're on top...right where we belong.
So really just...do what you gotta do.
I know the advice may be disappointing
But it's all that you'll need, dude.
As long as you do the things that you need
You have nothing to worry about and you will succeed.

So i guess life really ain't much
We talk and maybe think of it as such
But
You know what, forget all the rhymes.
Maybe life really is just...nothing but time.

Through the snow of hate
Through the time of despair
I have always loved you
My feelings for you have not changed
Many think that this is a blessing
But it's a curse ;
A curse on the heart
For what if you don't  feel the same?
I am forever damned with this feeling
This feeling of hope;
Hope that you will feel the same,
Hope that you will see
That i am dying inside,
That the endless nights of tears
Are not of pain,
But of fear.
Fear that you do not feel the same back.
But this curse has made me think other wise
This feeling of love and hope has made me hang on,
Even when my mind has given up,
My heart still beats even in the darkness,
For I still love you
Even after many months,
Even after many fights,
Even after disagreeing, and not talking,
Even after the lonely nights that I have not receive a message from you,
I still love you.
My love for you is my weakness and it is my strength.
I am  falling for you over and over again
But I do not know if you are going to pick me up afterwards.
But it's a risk I am willing to take

Poem to a Friend
Dear Friend,
I'm lost. No I’m not, but I’m clueless and facing huge decisions. My heart is in one direction by common sense tells me another. Does money outweigh artistic freedom? What defines happiness? Where am I going? Do I need to decide now?
I'm not looking for guidance, merely an ear. Life is staring at me. I want to ask for help but I know I'm a hell of a lot better than that. I know I'm stronger than that.
But I like to think back and reflect, it's cool man, thinking of my childhood. When I was younger it didn't matter. None of that shit mattered and that made life so easy. A job meant dressing up as a fireman and laughing- not a 9-5. What is a 9-5? Am I ready?
Time will tell.
I'm going away soon. Life matters. Life is hard.
I'm not depressed. I'm not dying. I have just been hit in the face by reality.
The best part is, I'm man enough to have a strong right hook to throw back.
Look out world, look out strangers, look out mystery, I'm here; and I'm excited.
  
Yours Truly.

It seems like yesterday
I was young ,
an innocent sweet bride
embarked on my new life with my mate
but time has a way of moving quickly
and catching you unaware of the passing years
I wonder where all the years went
Now I only have
glimpses of how it was back then
and of all my hopes and dreams.
Here it is ... on summers day
It catches me by surprise
How did I get here so fast?
Where did the years go
and where did my youth go?
Met an old friend of mine...
looking tired, all old and grey
she brought the news of our retiring friends
some are dying on hospital beds
some are walking slowly in old folks home
some have gone senile and forgotten their way homes
I hugged my old best friend
told her to rest as much as she could
I am thinking now of how lucky I am
To complain of a few creaking bones of mine
I should feel ashamed!
Most people enter into this new season
of their life unprepared for all the aches and pains
and the loss of strength and ability
to go and do things that they wish they had done but never did!!
  I'm not sure how long I will last...
But through another winter.. spring and summer
I wish I could still live to breathe
I am not yet ready for the day
when my life is over on this earth...
yet to begin a new adventure of life...
in the hereafter.....

When the sweet fragrances of the dying stars,
invaded the Earth, Venus and Mars,
two lovers met under a full moon light,
undeniably love at first sight.

While he was there and she was here,
their beating hearts were all they could hear.
And they felt passion's powerful presence,
It was craved deep into their essence.

Finally, they understood each others mind,
facing the love they thought they'd never find.
And bursted into colored flames
                                          Without even knowing each others names.

Your face is like a devil to me,
Eat my heart and leave me to bleed.
Hold on to my love with a dying kiss,
Cross out my eyes like that slashes on your wrist.
I've been asleep since noon,
Demons line the walls of this room.
You know what you do to me,
Leave me crying deliberately.
I'd jump out of my skin for you,
But would you do it too?

-qtsp- 6/4