Without lipstick, you have the sweetest lips.
That leaves that impression they deserve to be kissed.
Whether in the darkest of night with only the brightness of the moonlight.
Or early dawn right before the daylight.
Tender and warm that, they are.
Sensual and enhancing that have me wanting to kiss them more.
You know, when looking at me.
Exactly what part of your beautiful face I seek.
They draw me to you.
They keeps me near you.
I could go for days seeking you.
There's something about your sweet lips that holds me captured.
I'm not a hostage.
And far from a slave with a master.
But I would be yours, if you only asked me.
Or just kiss me, with those sweet lips.
The sweetest lips, I've ever kissed before.
Years of bingeing, purging,
Thinking about dying,
Yield more than sorrow:
They teach many important lessons.
You never wear mascara
Or eye liner
Because it shows the black pain
Flowing out of your mind
That you'd rather bottle up.
Turn the shower on
Before you purge;
No one wants to hear
Your half-digested meal
Splatter into the toilet bowl.
And they will never understand
No matter what pictures you draw,
Words you write,
Or science you explain.
No one will be there with you
When you decline your favorite meal
Or at 2 am when the knives are calling your name.
Yet, at the same time,
I want to be there for everyone else
Because I get it,
Because misery likes company,
But I couldn't tell you how to stop.
Because I know how it is.
I don't want to stop.
I cant quit.
Long before Horus' exposure on its trunk
and the nailing of Jesus upon its grain,
rings have been added within the Tree
while people proclaim to hold the key
of salvation, a continually borrowed mythology
swallowed; a powerful sleeping pill
pulling the masses into slumber,
away from the obvious truth
that such supposed salvation
is a ticket far too easy to obtain,
a discriminatory damnation of souls
so blindingly righteous,
even the most vengeful, maniacal deity
would draw the line there.
So many people hand-out the easy tickets,
cut and light the tree --
a hypodermic injection of selfish memories
mixed into mortar for temples designated as sacred,
but the elements are desecrated by swirling sewers,
by shears amputating roots from the sky.
Too many people preach, judicate, proclamate,
hold signs pointing towards a cheap, polystyrene heaven,
while only a few walk the narrow path,
live the sacrifice because it feels right.
Again and again,
the ticket isn't so easy,
we must put aside our slumber-crutches,
stop watching the few carry the rest
upon their backs until bones creak and groan
from the weight of people waiting for salvation
to be handed to them.
27 years, a branch in the road, 46664 etched into its bark.
The forked doors opened,
a living, breathing gospel
brought down fences,
and even then the wood was made into crutches
for people to say,
"M will fix it, M will do this, M will do that,
M will save us, just wait and see."
But M is finally free, yes, he is free!
Free, but not lost to us,
always surviving as spirit-seeds.
We must no longer lean upon crutches,
instead purge the pill from our blood
and awaken into gardeners who water the seeds
within the soil of our souls,
before the vision withers completely,
and we remain only as husks
waiting to be hydrated by watering cans
held in hands too weak to lift the weight....
held in our own hands all along,
held in our hands all along.
December 7th/8th, 2013
Kindly just some Words about your Last Tweet: YES we all must Agree it does not Matter who you are and Whom you Date.
As I Said it never has Been. But kindly Please Remember that all-in-all you are still a CELEBRITY; And the very Nature of that Kind of Life will always - ALWAYS - draw Attention - GOOD and Otherwise.
Of course you already Know this given your Incredible Skill in Handling Yourself. You Definitely Deserve the Overwhelming Support you have Received - I Vouch for that - yet a Little WISDOM needs to be Included here.
And I don't mean the MEDIA. Your Name is already SYNONYMOUS with such. Please do not get UPSET if People here make it a BIG DEAL.
You Know you have Admirers who EXPECTED a lot from you. Especially Now since you are still in your PRIME. But then again you seem to Enjoy this Kind of Attention.
When you DECIDE - BE FIRM - AND STICK TO IT!
Stop giving FALSE HOPES to those who still Think they have a Chance which by a Large Percent will Never, Ever HAPPEN. I am talking about some of your Admirers here.
There's nothing wrong in being Open to your Sexuality; But as much as we Hate it this is a WORLD OF EXTREMES; You either ARE or AREN'T.
And what you Hinted on your Video can just AGITIATE them a Whole Lot More. Still Happy for you.
And your Partner seems to be STRONG IN SPIRIT - whoever he is. It no longer Matters on our end if we are IGNORED despite the Advise given to you; What Matters is that this Message comes out and you are made AWARE at the very least.
Most CELEBRITIES react that way, anyway. Why should you be any Different?
You Take Care now.
I need to draw a picture of what my life will look like if I don't become a doctor so I can see what failure looks like as if I don't see that every time I look in the mirror
All I want is to help people and thats why I shove my face inside chemistry books trying to make myself understand things that I've never been able to understand
Here I am rocking in a rocking chair that isn't moving because I don't know how to make it rock I'm just moving myself
I've always looked in the mirror and hated what I saw but then I looked deeper into the eyes of that person that is me and saw a picture of my future
I wanted to help people
I want to help people
but first I need to help me
OKAY SO I THOUGHT I WAS SMART, YOU KNOW?
so what if I'm not so good at math well that's all there is in chemistry
I need to draw a picture of what failure looks like but I've never really been so good at plotting images across a canvass all I can really do is translate words
I want I need to be a doctor because helping people is my dream
I need to draw a picture of what failure looks like that's why I'm writing this so I can look back and see
So I can read
This is what failure looks like, here see
Look in the mirror you aren't what you wanted to be
Read your words and see
You aren't so good with words either so why do you keep trying
I looked into my eyes and saw the future but now I can't bare to even try to see anything
I'm just writing I'm still writing and I should've stopped a while ago but here I'll stop now I mean
Here this is what failure looks like so
Look in my eyes and see
As I stare and watch you,
Deep inside I knew,
Your sweet voice give me the clue,
I think you love me as I do.
Whenever the night turns to day,
I always think and make me say,
"Can he stay?"
But it makes me cry and I just pray.
Every time I am alone, sitting,
You draw near to me and we are talking,
I saw your eyes scintillating,
All I can say is "I am now Loving."
When you tell me that you love me,
I was like a bird flying so free,
My heart was happy and so glee,
You're like an angel as I see.
By: Earl Jane Sardua
Dedicated to: Xeeb Pov Lauj
Please paint me
Like one of your French girls,
Instead of drawing me
As a Picasso
Give me texture
And give me reality
Instead of guesswork
And clues of the brain
Burn cigarette holes for my eyes
And coffee stains as my body,
A drop of blood for my heart
And a tear for my sad mind.
But don't paint me as an assumption,
Let it be known that I am beautiful,
No matter what angle
You draw me at
Reach for the blade. Its the only thing that can make you feel anything now.
Now that everyone has destroyed what's left of you...
How you will ever be the same again...
Draw it across and watch as the red flows behind it
Again and again, again and again, again and again
Till there is nothing but red
At first its anger, hatred, betrayal
Then it becomes less and less
More of a habit
Till you feel nothing at all
And all you want are the scars and to try to feel, try to be in control of SOMETHING
Its easier to start than it is to stop
I was going to walk tonight
down streets without lights
through the snow and cold
with you on my left.
You had other plans
and I understand,
but I really want to feel the night
wrap around us like a blanket
to draw us closer together.
I wanted to stargaze
and point out Orion to you
because he is my favorite.
With the light snow
and night so dark at only 9 p.m.
I would daringly kiss your lips
and maybe you would like it.
But you had other plans
and I understand.
Maybe tomorrow night will work out
and I will have courage then.
To the Days I Felt Safe:
For those who
Tie knots around their necks,
With words they once heard
Sound fancy enough they choke upon their diction
You do not belong.
Whos hands wave
And voices shiver,
To cover the emptiness of their words
You do not belong.
For those who-
Sit in corners
And draw airplane in their minds,
And create universes
So that their little airplane can find
A reason to fly;
And by the end of the day in school
They would learn that,
Black holes are never darker that the pits of our day dreamt creations,
And moons cannot reflect
All the rays of imagination
A little kid dives in,
Sitting in corners,
Inspired by the spirals
On the edges of his copybooks
Because what’s in the middle of the page
Was never his concern;
He did not belong.
For those who paint their dreams
Red blue and green
On the back of their veins
While their skin is dead pale
You do not belong.
For those who find difficulties reading,
And find haven in short words
And in pauses after sentences
And in deaths after paragraphs,
And find heaven when no text book is open
You do not belong.
For those who can love
Hard enough to call it love
You do not belong-
I do not belong.
For those who are tired of their deafening surroundings,
The fruitless noises
Of teenagers who forgot how to think,
Their voices that shatter
Like ultra-violet rays
Hitting ozone layers;
Who are tired of loved ones that fail to realize,
That the beauty of their souls
Rises and falls
Twists and turns
And burns to the core of my heart,
Till it bleeds
Verses of spoken word poetry
Of words unspoken,
You do not belong.
And belonging is relative
And death- is partial,
For social circles squeezed too tight
That it’s too hard to breathe,
And our egos grew too wide
We forgot who we really are
Although we’re full of ourselves.
But our imagination; takes us away
Till we realize
How far we are
From who we could be.