What i've learned in high school
is that happiness doesnt come in a 2 gram baggie.
That the first time you have sex wont be with the one who loves you.
You wont make honor roll,
and the nights you stay home with purple bags leaking underneath your eyes,
wont be the night you get any sleep.
The day you go into the library to find remnence of someone else written in ink plastered onto the page,
wont be the day you leave your mark on the school.
You wont be cherished... or remembered.
When you go to your first party people will be laced in green and brown with bloodshot eyes.
Not caring what your view on them is.
And when you're drawing in class because you're bored,
You might as well recieve your F now rather than later,
because you dazed off the whole semester.
And when you turn 18 and become independent,
You realized high school never prepared you for this,
Because just a few months ago you had to raise your hand just to go to the restroom.
I never wanted to see you hurt,
never crying, never unzipping your skin.
And I've only seen one of the two.
I said I loved you the month after we met and I meant it.
Because when you fall in love you do it hard.
And I wanted to have that feeling,
Never underestimating the feeling in your gut,
And I was okay with hurting you. For I didnt intentionally.
The night you fell in love with her you told me you never wanted to touch her,
But you also never wanted to loose her.
The night you lost her you cried to the heavens praying she'd come back...
And I still see you do it from time to time.
When you fell in love again, she said she wanted to fuck you, and that you could be on top, and my god did that ruin everything.
She unzipped her skin in the shape of a y exposing herself to you, but not in the way she wanted.
You did not pray for anything this time.
I said I loved you in my room, when I was blackening my insides, when I heard you say I love you too.
You wrote your first poem about the girl you liked yesterday, and I screamed at you.
For it wasnt about me.
But I saw you pray for the first time in months,
And I never seond guessed who it was about.
It wasnt about me,
It was for you.
Because your getting weaker and I can see it. Because whenever you speak you speak in thorns, your voice doesnt perk up with laughter and baby giggles as it did before.
And I saw you do unzip your skin for the final time.
i cant hold a god damn cigarette and i dont need to either.
my best friend choked when she smoked in front of me
and i dont care who was looking,
it didnt seem romantic.
my family is bundled inside a cigarette pack and
my brother doesnt come with a filter,
but hes fucking honest.
when my mother was small,
her best friend and her smoked at a camp site
and when her mother found out,
they both had to eat the whole carton and they never smoked after that.
i am sixteen my lungs are still pink,
my heart is still beating and my teeth are not falling out yet.
my brother couldn't give a shit.
his lungs will be black by the time i am seventeen and he will have his first heart attack at thirty six and i will visit
my best friend in the hospital and write poems about her funeral.
my father will still pronounce her last name wrong like he has for the past six years
and i will hold my own hands and break my own heart
thinking about it.
Happiness doesnt come in a jar
It starts deep inside you
Like a seed it grows with love and tenderness
you dont want to be the odd one out
is what they always preach
get along and fit together
it makes our system better
sit around and do nothing
comfort is best
but also work hard
to ace every test
dont do anything weird
but dont be basic
original ideas are worthless
if they havent been proven
the best way to organize
is the one well teach you
forget that the real world
doesnt have meaningless rules
and the college we constantly refer to
is even worse than this
300 dollars for a text book
you have to staple yourself
1000 bucks for a class
with an instructor who hardly shows
countless mental breakdowns
while studying alone
even better though
is that statistics show
less than half of kids that go
make it to their second year
think graduation day will solve your fears
too bad it only gets worse from here
As our love begins to fade
we realize our love will last forever but
just not in the moment...
Moment of truth.
Moment to decide...
between you and my life.
Knowing we cant be together doesnt
that affect you at all...
Knowing our love is faded...
I don't want to continue this love
If I know it'll be stuck with a broken heart.....
If you love something let it go and
If they really loved you they'll return.
Simple as that.
Until that day what is to learn and know
Nothing to know or realize....
It;s time to stop and think about the
truth of the situation.
Our love began yesterday.
Not whats been happening lately,
but the tru love that has helped
and hurt those around us.
Fixed and changed the things you need to do.
Change what you can.
Be yourself, but make tweaks.
No ones perfect.
Not Even Me.
think of this lyrical structure like bars for your house
safe and sound as this bass stays loud
not only started from the bottom but was built from it
we're talking in metaphors, of course i wasn't birthed from it
impossible zombie flow my words grow like cyclones
last words stuck in my mind filling said voids
attacking the republic consider me droids
of the mindless and confused
doesnt really matter if im battered of bruised
ice the knee up, continue to lose
those last three lines never happen
inception your brain like "I'm loaded with platinum"
not back here pretending like i came from the back son
these girls stay around me
cocky is my boundary
rapping comes second
see the aura that surrounds me
Wake up in the morning
Hes slammming on the door
I yell im up so he could hear me
He screams back and i just ignore
I step out to go and make food
He gets angrier and yells louder
"Do a work out, Lose weight"
I blow it off, dont let it bother
I hate you!
The reason I hate life?
Its a day of thanks
A day of family
it really stinks
tell me this is trickery
I cant go anywhere
I cant do anything
I cant be me
without your disapproval
I am thankful for her
she always makes me smile
she lights up my world
but you say im too attached
I spend too much
too much time
too much money
too much effort
But you would thinks it too much
She wants me around
A day of thanks
or a day of pain?
a day of her
or a day of you?
Go ahead and scream
It doesnt phase me anymore
Around you im in a bad dream
to me you are no more
cold coffee and hot tea
little kittens plush fur
the smell of old books
complete with the sound of turning pages
some people love these things
sadly it doesnt include me
i cant stand the smell of coffee
or the taste of tea
little kittens arent as fun as puppies
old books smell worse than gym socks
and paper pages are obnoxious
why people romanticize these things
and assume everyone will agree
is far beyond me
and why people get angry
over innocent opinions
that differ from theirs
makes me wonder
if thats why there isnt world peace
You know what i want....more than anything? is to hear the words "Babe,you are all i need" from the lips of that special human being.I want that feeling of what is it...... "meant to be?" ..... i want to tell you i love you...you know like...past the moon. I want your lips on mine and i cant lie.... i want them soon. I'll make love to you everynight as if it were our honeymoon and you can bet while im making love to you.... im playing your favorite tune......you see the miles id walk to meet the person that'll walk for me are ...infinity... but you know i have that feeling...true love doesnt exist...people are so quick to ....love and forget...that they often forget...something so delicate...Why are we here? you see i'll never give up on love....why? because it never gave up on me and i know for a fact that there is someone out there made just for me and if i have to wait i'll wait for eternity because i know for a fact that there is someone out there waiting for me !!