I was in front of me but you just saw through me
I shouted at you but you haven't heard a single word
I punched you but you haven't felt anything
I sprayed a vanilla scent but you smelled nothing
I cried because I felt like I got stabbed
But you haven't noticed because you were blinded by your sight
I faked a smile just for you to notice but all you saw was my lovely smile
I haven't talked just to show you I was in so much pain
But you just thought I needed some time alone
So I said I love you and good night
But you just said see you tomorrow and smiled
The next day I was found dead with a genuine smile
But all you saw was a damaged brunette you loved but ignored
If I had one day, and just one day, id hold you in my arms and just let all flow away, lay in bed as you rub your legs against mine, as soft words come from your blood red lips, and as I begin to realize your mine and your my world, without even a word all I knew was your name, yet I still fell in love
I search and search every day
for that little boy who will play
the strings of my heart like
his favorite guitar
He says his dreams will take him far
as his lips press lightly
on the nape of my neck
He would trek 1,000 miles
just to make me smile
because he says I'm the only
thing that matters much
His past is pained but
that doesn't mean it has to mame
FAME is not what he wants
His maturity never ceases to amaze me
A beautiful contrast to his constant
childlike ability to add light to any room
or give a smile to any star
It's sad that he won't go as far as he'd planned
I must condem him to memory
his freckles and the feeling of
running my fingers through his hair
It isn't fair that he was never there
in the first place
One could be so happy,
If they sent themselves to Wonderland.
To cast off their worries,
And drink some tea in the sand.
Just for a day,
Just for a minute,
Just to save themselves,
From going as mad as a hatter.
I walked to a freind's house the other day
For the first time in months
Which reminded me of when
We could just go and explore
There was never the excuse
That we couldn't do something 'cuz
Our mom had the car or
We were going to visit friends out of town
Wasn't it fun, when we'd sit on the dock?
Talk and look at the stars and the boats
When we'd meet up with friends by coincidence
When we could just sit on a field and smoke
With friends we really didn't know
Then walk right to the beach
Go swimming in November
The dumb shit we'd steal and do
Reluctant dares and embarrassing one another
Sleeping on the bus back from amusement parks
Messy hair and smudged makeup
Getting drunk in the woods
And then walking home
Lying to our parents
Texts at 2am
And then walking to each others' houses
Or Arizonas from 7/11
Making mountains out of mole hills
Then laughing atbourselves
Driving through the small, winding streets
With the warm breeze on our faces
When other people wouldn't fuck you over
Or tell us what we should do
And we weren't so impatient
To forget our good friends
And move away
Trying to change your life for the better
But ending up at square one again
A Zero-Sum Game with
But back to the start
I wouldn't be afraid of the future
If I knew all the good things God has in store for me.
I wouldn't have to shed useless tears
If I can see into the future and realize
That in the end, everything will be okay.
But how can I convince myself not to be afraid
Not to cry over and over again
When the situation keeps getting
Bleaker and bleaker?
They say it gets harder everyday.
That's not to true.
You learn to live with it
But then that one day comes
That reminds you of everything
And it's like you've been shot
And that makes it even harder to deal with than the first time.
Before I sat in the dark,
Swaying sleepily on my own,
I became rooted in the madness,
Day dreamed into stone,
He wrote it in the holes
Perforated through my heart
And that was just the beginning,
I knew we couldn't part.
We always were together,
I never strayed too far,
And it wasn't long before my dear love,
He grasped for the stars,
As the galaxies fell
Before his eyes, I begged.
My world please stay with me,
"We'll flow like water instead."
It all went up in smoke,
On the blessed first of May,
He left me then, my security
He simply could not stay.
I guess I always knew,
The words just weren't right,
You can’t contain a star.
You can’t hold onto sunlight.
Mirror mirror on the wall...
Good morning my dear
my voice within...
my evil critiques
Do not tease and lie, Please behave
show me the best reflection
that will make my day
soon I'd be 44 my body is getting old
still I smile like a little girl
and laugh and laugh at every jokes you told
don't be cynical, be honest this time
tell me if my skin glows
and my eyes shine
and I look the most radiant
She draws the stars
Late into the night
Standing in an open field
Soaking in their light
The beauty that they cast
Helps her pen to glide
When she's finished drawing
Is when she takes to flight
She draws the stars
Colors them by numbers
Throws away all diagrams
Prefers the use of different colors
Gives them all the oddest names
One after another
The furthest ones away
Names them after her ex-lovers
She draws the stars
Then gives her drawings away
To those she meets on the street
She feels needs a brighter day
She gives away the ones she loves
The rest she likes to save
Pastes them on her walls
In the galaxy she's made
Let me tell you about a place
where adults can come to play
It's an adult Disneyland of sorts
and there's no end to the day.
The fields are lined with vendors
providing meditation spots for free
I even found a tied died Jesus
twice in one day to save me.
I slid on rainbow water slides
rode a multicolored ferris wheel
I surveyed miles and miles of wonder
flying high on a pink seat of steel.
There's a strong sense of community
that serves one communal mean
to convey one's self expression
though art and sustaining green.
Sandalwood swirls through the air
and joins music's pleasing taste
That fuels the hungry thousands
to dance in an ecstasy filled haze.
Camps proudly fly their country's flag
and speak one universal truth
That art and music hold the key
Sad road trip home........
See you in '14