old makeup spilled on my floor
dirty clothes strewn on my floor

I have a new, thousand dollar laptop
less than two hundred ($)  in checking
no groceries, yet plenty of prescriptions

(but they are needed, much and every day)

where did all these bills come from?
suddenly, it costs money to breathe.

Eating? Oh pshaw, that costs money.

I get what I ask for, and it always comes, at a price of over a hundred dollars,
and more bad luck than a couple broken mirrors smashed over a black cat.

Quick! Let's do designer drugs with the paltry change given by our parents!
Wouldn't they feel proud of our feelings of entitlement and adult decisions?

Break open my mother's back,
or my father's checking account
so long as I get to swipe down
that magnetic strip of their love

(that proves that they love me)

and we will buy strawberries
for five dollars and nine cents
and eat like the bourgeoisie (!)

flicking the tips of eyeliner up
like a little tail, the ends of eyes,
black as my tightest velvet pants

and I'll come call, prepaid, with
a voice that is thick and ripped,
bags under eyes, a little anemic,

(I think it adds to the glamour)

I will put on perfume and furs,
silken drawers, fine gold jewelry.

I will gamble with you in Monte Carlo or Las Vegas,
just as long as you pay my rent at $695 per month,
until I die, or something else.

night after night
she walks into wonderland
under hazy streetlights
to let thorns
shred her delicate petals
now her rosebud, gone forever

her eyes as dark
as the rolling tires
on the highways
that she sells herself on
sell your soul to the devil
he will let you keep the change

drunk on despair
and living on borrowed time
the wolves of yesterday
the dirt under her fingernails
linger like the voices
of the monsters under her bed

creamy thighs spread wide
for an endless audience
to spoon her milky honey
lick their fingers clean
clean of their conscience
the white washed walls

may the prickly blood
of the cold winter
not stain the white walls
or shrivel the leaves
but lead her to the water
and set sail in a teardrop

Is it really fake?
The way we smile on the web and pretend things are great
They way we search for the lost relationship we know we won't get back
But in the the curves of the letters we can act like it's okay
Pretend that those years weren't lost and that you were there
Because photos speak a 1,000 words and they're everywhere
On the web it may seem like its peachy keen and that we always had a love that was true.
But the truth lies in what's unseen
And there's nothing to change so for now I'm threw.

i am waiting
for the rain to fall
so that the small
cool
droplets
will splash onto my arms
and will soak into my pores

i am waiting
for the sun to shine
so that the radiance
of the
small
undulations
that children feel
and draw on paper
will be absorbed by my skin

i am waiting
for the leaves to fall
so that i can watch blurs of
burnt sienna &
crimson
float to the ground
so that i can them crackle

i am waiting
for the snow to orbit
across frozen tundra when the
cold
empty
air rubs against our faces

i am waiting
for you
to tell me
you love me
regardless
of the adjectives
around us

please help me
locked in a dark room
with one wall, one door
and a window
i see you on the other side
and i can't tell if you're laughing or crying
but i don't dare break the glass
or it could kill us both
and i don't want that
or i would have set myself free long ago

please open the door
i promise to come out quietly
or with my fists clenched
if that's what would make you change your mind
but i'm that kind of guy
you can never tell if i'm serious or not
i might scare you
and i would never want that
so i'll stay behind the glass

I can't concentrate without hearing your voice.
It soothe me , this I do know.
It calms me, when I seem to want to explode.

I can't sleep at night without hearing your voice.
It comfort me.

You bring something over me that brings a change within me.
You're the one I call when I need someone to speak too.
I'm not surprised that you do this too me.

You been a miracle since we met.
A thought of a thought I refuses to forget.

Words don’t change who you are
Or rather
They do.
Entirely.
So don’t worry about it

That Night Of Youth,
We Met .
I Did Not Expected.
It Was That Drunk Grin Of Yours,
That Got Me Captivated,
The Way You Looked At Me In Your Bedroom,
That Silly,Idiotic Laugh You Gave Me.
Soon Enough Without Trying I Embraced,
I Never Think Was A Mistake,
Though To Everyone's Eyes It Was.
Fights By Tears,
Tears By Fights,
We Went On.
You Couldn't Change Until You Realized,
That My Love Was Blinded,
And I Have You Deep In My Heart.
You Stupid Moron,
The Man-whore You Are,
I Love You Always,
I Always Had.