As the midnight hour
Descends upon my world
My mind wanders to the
Place is often visits
The man of my dreams
The feel of his touch
His soft lips on mine
The sense of his love
I close my eyes and there he is
In all his shinning glory
calling to me
with arms opened wide
I don't know how he did it
Captured my heart so easily
I thought I put walls of steel around it
But he broke through them as if they never existed
We’re on the brink of brotherhood,
The link is sewed of falling in love
That eventually landed and shattered.
I love you more than I’ve loved before,
The green grass only growing as time goes by.
And I will hold your hand when Death comes calling,
And I will be your light in the dark.
And I will shed tears if you are thirsty,
And in my heart you will always be the first.
Do you remember the way I couldn't keep my eyes off you?
The way that I couldn't keep my hands off you?
How a smile crossed my face when you were in sight?
My God, I couldn't even feel your warmth because it was a spark to my sexy imagination.
Do you remember my texts?
My pictures?
My late night outfits?
Dinners?
Dancing?
Oh how crazy I was about you!
It was almost love..
Almost.
I remember how suddenly you just stopped calling.
I remember how I was left waiting for you to pick me up on Saturday night.
I remember you stopped answering.
How you stopped trying.
You wouldn't even hold my hand.
I remember how I would call you and you wouldn't answer
You just left...
Gone.
Now you're back, and as much as I wish we could get back what we had, you see; its gone.
You missed this train.
You could have been the one, enjoying, celebrating life, but you missed it.
It's gone, and almost doesn't count.
Sinking and sinking
I question my dreaming
The constellations swallow me
Suddenly I am nothing, everything
Everyone relies on me
My fingers pinch the sun
Drag it to the one
I bring the dawn
Yet thrive in the night
Falling and falling
I ponder my longing
To fall from the sky
From so mighty high
Wonder when I hit the ground
If it will make a sound?
All I feel is emptiness
All I feel is desolate
Arms out to catch myself
Lingering on your last breath
All I feel is worthless
All I feel is emptiness
Crashing and crashing
I embrace the fall
I kiss the ground with my body
and wait for my soul
Will it evacuate the emptiness?
Does it even exist?
Soaring and soaring
My mind is
And it lingers
On every moment I hated you
Can't nobody hate you like I do
I hope you feel guilty
As my world is closing in
Yet the commotion around me isn't sinking in
I can hear the whispers
Calling in the night
Tempting me to do
What I think I might
Breathe and breathe
I attempt to, but do not strive to
Death is not my fear
That would be you being near
Don't touch me
Someone does, checks for pulse
But I am already flying
I shoot into the sky, back up, arms out
Im crying out
Reaching, grasping, failing
To touch the body I once inhabited
I know I was not meant to be
So why do I feel sadly?
The hearts content
I say that dont please her
Happiness is on her face
As the man greets her
His voice is just dance, just colors
On an empty canvas
A bit of something inside
A little of me, a little of her
I am the demon
The soul whisperer
The one who tells her to do it
Dancing and dancing
My demon whispers to him but I still move
Who is in control?
Who holds the ropes?
I dont think I can save myself
I'm drowning here please
Somebody help?
Digging and digging
My demon knows it all
Her silky, snaky voice surrounds everything
I am suffocating
Although I am already dead
I shall live forever with her in my head
let's get our heads checked
we need a head check
where's the doctor in the house?
we're lost in this madhouse
everything is wrong with us
we came here carrying the bus
we know we have problems
as always, someone else's problem
that's ever been our only sad excuse
never knowing it's a crumbling refuge
it started with sticks and stones
here we are ensuring its all gone
calling it progress
these comfort cages
modern civilization
more like creeping annihilation
[or is that speeding destruction?]
back to sticks and stones, we'll begin
[can i hope for something else?]
back to sticks and stones, we'll begin
[can i hope for something else?]
this dance of death
let's begin this dance of death
I'm calling you my love,
But it's being drowned out by shouts coming from above.
I'm broken and confined,
There beginning to break my mind.
They rub pictures of you and him in my face,
They're taking our letters and burning them in a case.
How did this happen?
They're gone now, all I hear is a small tapping.
Maybe it's my heart,
But it's been broken since the start.
I've had to confront him,
My ray of hope being very dim.
Don't save me, figure out everything,
I've suffered enough from this beating.
Can you hear me? Calling for you? Screaming for you?
Never mind, my birds already flew,
Now you can't hear me calling for you.
At times it is hard to sail on
when the sirens sing songs to me
and the depths of the dark blue sea
call out to me.
In the fearing there is wonder
and I wonder
how come?
where was it written in the heat of the Sun that my Kingdom will come
in the fathomless deep?
Would I sleep my eternity in this, the fraternity of pirates and slaves
whatever happened to Jesus saves?
The sirens sing sweet things that bring me to endings
and the doldrums are here
pending a sharp wind and rescinding previous posts
I host one more party to start me on my way
to slip into and down through the beckoning spray
and when the waters close over and cover
will I then live to discover a meaning to all this
will the bliss that I have in mind be the bliss I will find
or will I disperse
in the teasing of tides that would ride out my bones across waves into more temperate zones.
The sirens fall silent and the night starts to sing
I bring up my collar and call to the Moon,
so soon
so soon and the sky goes to sleep
in the deep someone's calling
and I have to stop falling
I keep my mind still and in the stillness
I will
find my bearings and compass point
and that is the point
to read the map
to find a route
to sail one's ship
to not let go
to not let slip.
I should rip apart this sadness,madness
but what else would I be
could it be this is the one and only
long and lonely trip
we all must take?
before I break apart
I will start to stop again
pick up the pieces that lie in pain
and hoist the sails
put up the mast and hide from the rains
and in the distance in darkness
the sirens begin.
He walked in like he owned the place,
he knew no one, not by name or face,
shattered the night and the peace,
left it all behind for the police.
He is darker than the night,
what is wrong, he takes as his right,
unnatural, he moved without light,
death his calling card, to spite,
the promise of the morning sun.
4 walls, I trust in the morning Son.
The music was so loud that night
And it overwhelmed all of our senses
Minds unable to think
And hearts unable to feel
Anything but what the music was
Telling us to experience
Together
The pain in his voice
Calling us back to
His memories and life
Tales of heartbreak and horror
Triumph and love
We are no longer ourselves
And it is good
Escaping from our bodies
Entering another's reality
So much less painful
Than our own battles
It keeps us sane
Gives us strength
Allows us to carry on living, for another dawn
- Everyone has questioned their sexuality at some point. If you claim you haven't, you are either lying to others or yourself.
2. You are not truly over someone until you find someone to take the empty place in your heart. That's the brilliance and necessity of a rebound.
3. You cannot chose whether or not I have a child. And if you try to tell me I must, that I cannot abort this clump of cells that may or may not turn into a child in 3 months, then I cannot support you and only in very rare cases will I allow you to continue being my friend. If you are a teenager and chose to give birth to a child, I think you make stupid life decisions and cannot support your decision to have the child, whether or not you keep it.
4. Eos lip balm is one of the worst lip balm brands. I don't understand why people love it so much. It doesn't even stick to my lips.
5. Religion is tearing the world apart, yet it is one of the only things keeping much of the world in freedom.
6. Polygamy should be legal.
7. I am incapable of hating people. I can say I hate Olive James* for being a bitch to the teacher that is like my second mom, but I don't mean it. I can say I hate Sam Ajay* for calling me such horrible names, but I don't mean it. I can hate the actions but I can't hate the person, no matter how much I want to.
8. I don't think I can achieve my dreams. I have to; I don't have a plan B. But I don't think I can actually do it.
9. Accents and speech impediments are not a turn on; sometimes they're a turn-off.
10. I am so fucking lonely.
