Sitting at the bar talking about poetry.
Talking about the girl I want to look at me.
Hold up my hands as if those thoughts were fire
Burning me from the inside out, just had to get it all out.
"I met her for the one night, and I've been writing about her ever since"
Then she looked at me and just said "Wow".
I wanted to smile but I felt just dirty.
These are my true feelings and I don't want share them with you.
Hold up the time for me I can't see it through this mask.
My head hangs low and stitches are bleeding.
I want to fall in love with this girl, so I write and hope she'll read it one day.
Now I am alone, high as fuck, totally drunk on that idea.
I feel too much but
nothing at all.
There is a burning in the pit
of my stomach that ignites
a fire in my throat.
There is a heaviness in my heart and a
sorrow flooding my soul.
I am as blue as the ocean
during a hurricane.
The rain beats down upon me and
melts into the waves that thrash behind my ribs.
I can't hear my heart beating
over the monsoon
but
I can hear my ribs cracking from the
weight of it all.
I can't feel my heart beating anymore
and
I just want to go home.
But home was never a place for me,
and I don't know what home feels like anymore.
There is a darkness that weighs
heavy down upon me,
and I swear I will not stand again.
I will forever be on my knees in the
face of this monstrous chasm.
It is inside of me. You can't run
far from your own desolation.
I feel too much, and nothing
at all.
I surrender the battle,
But dare not surrender the war.
I will not let go of my dreams.
I have borne too many
Bruises and run too far to
Give up. All I want is to
Feel the sun the way I want
To feel it and feel how I
Want to feel. Without your look
Of disdain burning deep in
My eyes, making me feel much
Smaller than I deserve to
Feel. I will fight the shame you
Give me. I will continue
To fight and I will win in
The end. This is my life.
Live your own.
One is drowning
The other burning
Both need saving
And both are yearning
Waves are crashing
Flames are raging
Suddenly there's nothing
The scene is changing
The water's dowsing
The fire's steaming
Both are reaching
Their future is gleaming
Your moonlight shines
Quite brighter than the sun
I love how you love me
I just want you to know
You're my chance at something better
I love you
Forever
I will be in your shadow
Eternity
I will love you undeniably
You are the star that accompanies me in the sky
You shine so bright in my eyes
I fell in love at first sight
I love you more than Adam loved Eve
You bring me hope and happiness
I love you
Forever isn't enough
Together
Eternity sounds better
Our love is as infinite as the stars
My heart burns for you
Like the mountains of crimson light
Burning, radiating their existence
In the galaxies so far away
My love
Forever is oh so short
Let it be accompanied with Eternity
Because that is what you are
My Forever & Eternity
I will never stop loving you
Even if Father Times heart gives out
Or if Mother Earth began to cave in around us
Our love is truly infinite
I can't walk away from you
My heart fused to the very ground
Your feet have come to call home
Our love has shackled me freely
Still calling me free but finding home
Looking through the barred windows of your heart
Knowing I will die in your heart
Making going to war and dying
A very ugly thought
I know a beautiful death will come
By being your Forever & Eternity
I know I have asked you to marry me
But I don't want you to marry me
I want to marry you
So will you allow me to marry you
And be your Forever & Eternity
Till death of all things living and unexplained
Also my 300th poem.
I wanted to lay for awhile
in the incomprehensible darkness,
eyes needling all the things
which they could not see.
I'd imagine I was on Mercury,
where the hot, hot sun turned the ore
to slag rivers which carved up the surface
now the miasma of heat roams
the barren hilltops and plains
starving
for there is nothing left to consume.
Or Venus,
breathing poison,
weighted down and cooking me,
hotter even than Mercury,
where I'd watch the lightening play
across the saffron sky,
from the calderas of spent volcanos.
Or Earth,
where I lay awake in the night,
dreaming.
On Mars,
digging up fossils,
prowling riverbeds,
searching for memories in the broken rock
and bloody soil
Olympus looming in the distance.
Jupiter,
where my heart would break,
amid all the thunder
shouting itself against the gales
There is Ganymede,
silent above the endless storm
Or Saturn,
floating in the shadow
of those celestial rings
where Titan guards over them
ready for thieves in the darkness
Uranus,
where there are oceans of liquid diamond
glittering endlessly
through the alternating
decades long days and nights.
On Neptune,
beneath the sky so blue
and torn apart by the winds
nearing supersonic
over the burning ice.
Or lonely Pluto,
where I'd forget myself,
there in the dark.
I thought to those hands that draw my strings
why do ghosts only haunt the living?
Fear slithers down from the stains on my ceiling
coiling thickly around my throat
dripping feted sweat
from the tips of its' fangs
“To Spur You To Run”
so down the darkened hallways and
out to the dirty
downtown streets I flew
skittering fitfully between the alleys
for risk of being seen
before slipping into that same empty bar
me oh my, what dim corners you have
ducking onto that same crooked confessional
oh great bartend, what clouded eyes you have
where I am promptly handed
my glass of Sorrow
deliver me from evil
atop a napkin wrote with print
“All The Better To Drown You With.”
it seems I have forgotten
if this sip or the last
was bitter or sweet
but it burns my eyes
twists my ribs, thickens the wind
and in the moment I see that face
out beyond the foamy waves
that shore upon the dregs
oh hallowed face of Judgement,
it seems blackened ivy has taken root
around your eyes
"I Tip Your Service With A Nod"
every block that I stumble by
drips pooling
orange streetlight onto the sidewalk
which whetted feet find liquor slick
thus put nose to grindstone, idiom or no
I hear the whispered Fury
when I fall down far enough
when my ear is planted to the earth
addressing me curtly
burning up through the asphalt
and stretching uncomfortably underneath my fingers
she lifts me screaming from the molten gutter
"To Hell With Forgiveness"
I find none other than Passion
standing under a spotlight
always dreamed of becoming a star
on the next street corner
you burned out far below the heavens of the hollywood highrise
she beckons me over with knowing gestures
but you still wound up center stage
“I Am Cheap and Love is Dead
Buried With All The Other Fairy Tales”
to which I respond
“We Must Make Due.”
She came and left swiftly
departing with the last of the warmth
in this empty room
douses candles in gasoline
burning half as long but twice as bright
after which I rose and went to my window
ans listened to the chirps of Melancholy
singing of sin.
Copyright ©2010-2013 Sean Winslow All Rights Reserved
I am your eyelids and the train-tracks of your stitches. I am the cracks in your bones and the wealthy mind riches. I am the fluid of your language that speaks in every sentence of your prose, I am the syllable you cannot speak though your tongue still knows. I am the chapel of your rib cage and the rage that it slows, closing the gates to the crosses in rows. I am the dirt under your cuticle and the follicle of your skin, sprouting a thread of your body within. I am the anxiety of your brain and the ecstasy of your flesh, crawling at the sense that you attain and possess. I am your lost baby teeth and the way that they chatter, I am the neurons, the synapses, the dark and brain matter. I am your saliva burning caverns in the cave of your time. I am the line of your lips and the lungs you call, "mine." I am your soul, your secrecy, your sanctity. Your spine.
I often wonder if our voices are actually heard.
If people read our every word!
Or is it like life where you skim through it to get to the end
Never realizing that you might lose a friend.
We don’t stop to see and admire the picture as a whole
And “ that beauty” will never unfold.
You know ! I also wonder !
That GOD could have made this world, humanity
And the entire universe in a split second, yet he chose
To do it in six days
To enjoy all the beauties that he created.
Then why do we rush in our lives?
When he has given us time to enjoy his creations
Without all the devastations.
If we work eight hours, sleep eight hours
Then the other eight hours are for us to set our goals
And pursue our dreams and take care of our to do lists
And to smell the flowers – ‘HE has given us enough hours!”
“THAT BEING SAID” let’s move ahead!
The words you put down in black and white
Are your joys and your struggles in this life?
It is a path to your heart and soul, and a story that must be told.
Your hidden thoughts and dreams can now be seen
Your wants, your needs, your hopes, your dreams, your desires
All of this created that burning fire.
If every living creature can communicate with each other
Then why can’t we? My sisters and brothers!
(C) L .RAMS
Ghost in my mind
Not letting me hide
An unknown ghoul
That grips my soul
With silver fingers
And words that linger
Burning deeper
Burning deeper
Leaving fright
Behind in this night
A chill, a shiver
And lips that quiver
Hands that shake
With what’s at stake
Burn and wait
Burn and wait
Hands raise
To cover my face
As I start to accept
Sway my heart to rest
And everything burns
As everything fades
The beating
The beating
Sounding further away
Lowered to grave
As I sigh to death
