erasure poems write me from prison. I read them aloud in front of the mirror in my mother’s bathroom. a terrible mirror. I don’t know how my mother does it. she must have a good idea how she really looks.
I can’t tell if I’ve been thinking of my father all the time or if I’ve become lax in my selection. I am trying to reach him about the car. on paper, it’s totaled. the dog in the backseat surprised me. very solemnly I was informed the dog seemed pretty beat up before.
my brother says it’s part of his condition that he can only explain himself from the waist down. he says he feels horrible in the back of his head and wants me to take a look. he says I don’t know what darkness is. before I can play doctor he remembers he has a story he wants me to write. the outline of the story is off site. in the opening scene brother recalls that a young man is blowing dust from a human skull made of plastic because it’s all the narrator can afford.
My brother and I were invited to
Polynova, "The Grande City of The World".
Polynova is the largest city
To exist in our world,
It is home to every race in the world
It is has the largest trade market
It has the most beautiful architecture
You could imagine.
It can best be described as a giant pyramid
Where the governor sits atop
And the city becomes larger and larger
'Til the base.
I couldn't tell you a specific color of the place
Because the people have tampered
And structured it over time.
Gold, Magenta, Bright Green,
Cerulean, Silver, Mud Brown,
The list goes on and on.
It is constantly crowded and bustling,
You would be surprised how good it smells.
The cuisine is magnificent,
All the best foods from the world
Gather here and share their secrets
With the masses.
This city could be best described as,
"A city of togtherness".
It is a city of hope
Hope that the world will settle its differences
And hope that one day the fighting will stop.
Polynova stands as a symbol to us,
Some reject it,
But I embrace it.
I am but a boy
Too young to have seen the world
As a cynical and terrible place.
I regard everyone with the utmost respect
My brother and I were invited to Polynova
To participate in the first ever
Grande Fireworks Festival.
We come from a long line of firework makers,
My grandfather was one of the first firework artists
To grace this world.
So off we go to Polynova
To share our secrets and craft
With other firework artists.
Off I go to,
"The Grande City of the World"
I lost cuntrol when I was nine years old.
Mother took my hand off my crotch yet left my brother to the confinement of his cock;
Girls good, boys bad, and oh no sweetheart your beauty is your only power.
And I’d blush; not in the way she’d hoped through the sweep of a brush but rather when my teacher left her hand lingering on my back as she bent over to tick the formula of the female form and cross out what the chimes of the church commanded.
I looked at the curve of the x she used to mark the spot and sighed.
Teach me. Teach me your ways so I can breathe in the sweet blossom of your hair as I rest in the bossom of your heart, its smells like lavender. Lavender.
Lavender sweet dreams honey and I will see you there tonight.
It was then I began my perpetual low earth orbit from dream to dream and departed from what mother said that day when I asked the question that makes mothers quake as they smooth out the creases in their dresses and tuck their unravelled hair behind bitten ears.
Making love. We made love only to make you, darling.
Mother smiled sweetly and turned her back on me as her mind traced back to that morning when she made mad passionate love with the milkman when daddy wasn’t looking. I am still waiting for my little sister.
If practice makes me perfect then meet man, mother.
I used his rocket to launch myself into space where I spelt her name out in the stars and jumped over the moon to Venus. I felt the warmth from her skin like the sun that keeps me alive. Alive. Alive.
Warm me, darling, just with the nestle in my vessel in my veins in my sugar coated spaceship.
We found sticks and made smores and we floated together, with my hand tracing your V in that three-dimensional galaxy between your legs we fell in love. No void existed between our celestial bodies as gravity pulled me into your arms.
He came as I came back from space thinking of nothing but the soft shape of her hips and the trail of her spine that led me back to earth.
There’s man with his grey socks still on his feet, dark matter on the sheets and a wrapper on the floor.
Rubbish I thought, but in the sky…
That night my mother asked me why I am smiling.
I said I have become an astronaut in orbit with a woman who I love in space.
She cried shes lost it.
I smiled, nodded yes, I've lost it to her.
I lost cuntrol when the earth, heavens and waters fell in love and sailed and soured as we danced on the tree tops of your garden, with waves crashing beneath us leaving salt shimmering particles like diamonds on your feet.
You were my alphabet soup that filled me with too many words, the thrill of the prize at the bottom of the cereal packet and the noble intentions of stopping the Titanic from sinking with the touch of button.
We had love at first sight like David and Jonathen, Ruth and Naomi who boarded the ark as my back arched in passionate throws below deck, as Noa held Emzaras hand smiling.
Adding a letter to her name on Transgender Tuesdays was just an afterthought.
Opening her drawers to pack up her boxers and bind her breasts Noa smiled as the clock cocked Tuesday.
She entered her escapism; what the Bible calls a natural disaster, I just call natural.
I lost cuntrol when I re-arranged the stars like pick and mix, so I could always find my way back to you. When you said I love you I wondered whether I’d had too many dolly mixtures and where jelly babies came from.
Sugar rimmed your lips like salt on a martini and left me drunk with desire as I licked around your edges. You slipped a haribo ring on my finger and I gave you my loveheart.
I lost cuntrol one day when my lover Alice said eat me. She showed me Dinah who hide beneath her skirt and I followed curiously.
I didn’t ask her to say please but that’s another story.
After her lesson I was told the Sputnik satellite was man-made and I laughed.
Oh no, women have been launching rockets with complete cuntrol between their legs for years, leaving the earths atmosphere and dreaming of everything else but dirty Dick’s dick.
During countdown they think of shopping lists, whether they’ve burnt off enough calories for wine with their girlfriends, and sometimes, sometimes, of her.
Do good girls go gay?
In space, my mother said, in space.
seven years sets in as the mirror shatters
my reflection no longer who he used to be;
or perhaps he's always been that way,
and my ignorance, my blind eyes
have been causing me pain, telling me lies
the temptations of having someone so alike
has left my thoughts running amok
has caused my heart itself to tuck
its veins and arteries back inside
i was open wide
but now, as i try to close
this gaping wound, my body knows
that healing is much harder a task than i could ever have thought it to be.
so i'll slam my fingers on the keys
to try to gain some sort of release
until something from my brain is freed
and devotion of this kind
i will no longer need.
the notes bite into my fingertips
deep slits left behind
as i unwind
finding that the tide has come in
as the lunar orb begins to set
i try not to fret
as my sinews are played
on the shiny white teeth
on the rotten black cavities between
the braces of my fingers, cleaned
of what might have beens and who are they nows
methamphetamine of the mind
speeds up my heart, my flesh unwinds
i scream for an end
to this running, running song
but find that all along
ive been playing this silly game;
so the shame
begins to set in as i see
i loved him on a whim
in the house where they teach us
not to sin
while he was dancing satan's steps
adultery, lust, and the rest
im bashing now, no longer holding
onto the gentle tune that began this twisting
that is my brother, my friend
my brother, my friend...
but in the end,
he was just another jester.
but in the end,
here to pester, adorned in costumes
and fancy dancing shoes
but in the end,
this wasn't a duet at all.
this wasn't a duet at all!
THIS WASN'T A DUET AT ALL!
This is a story about a handsome man who was dealt a crappy hand at the age of ten. This was way back when they tried to teach kids a lesson by putting them in Juvenile Hall. Where they just talked bigger and badder. And made up stories of doing this and doing that. And as a wee lad he took it all in, like his life depended on it. Well when they released him to his older Brothers. They we're setting no example of how to live either. And both parents were out of the picture. Well he eventually ended up in prison for most of his life for petty crimes that he should have never went to prison for. But he did not have a paid Lawyer. Well many years have come and gone and this guy was released in Sept of last year. He was out just long enough to catch another case. And he is doing a couple of years. If you would like to be a pen pal to this man, I would be ever so grateful. He will never ask you for anything just a letter now and again. This guy is truly a sweetheart funny
And very talented. I should know He is my Brother. So if you would like to write him send me a personal message and I will shoot you his hook up. Thank you in advance
Brother sweet Brother
Remember long ago
When we were so tiny
And always had a runny nose?
Remember the cement pool
In Baldwin Park?
They called it the kiddy pool
And you would be the shark?
Remember you were
Running in the tall
Yellow grass field
And cut your foot half way off
It was so surreal?
Remember when you hung yourself
By the railroad tracks?
I never seen our Dad ever
Run that fast
I was so happy you were
With him when he came back
Remember on the Holidays
We would go to
Dick & Pats?
Cardboard box sliding
That was pretty rad.
Remember that one summer
There was a fire on
And their yard filled
Like a gazillion
From the field
Remember catching pollywogs
And creepy salamanders?
I hated them slimy things
And with them you chased
Remember that one day
When everything was over
All the good days were gone
And nobody could stay sober
Remember how we separated
And life was never the same
I wish we could relive
When everything was great!
Who are these creatures I hear all about,
With a love and a care that is so devout,
Who can form a bond that will never fade out,
And will offer encouragement in times of doubt?
And what are these things that sound like me?
Our words seem similar when they decide to speak.
They have ears to hear, and eyes to see,
But do they have hopes and fears and dreams?
What is their purpose while living this life?
I've heard they spread joy, but only seen strife.
They can act like your brother, and then steal your wife,
and when suddenly provoked, most like to fight.
See, I've heard a lot of stories, about some good folks,
But I interpret them as blasphemy, lies, and jokes.
They could never be true, they must be a hoax,
'cause every tale ever told was as tall as an oak.
They all seem alike, they all seem so mean,
Are they the odd ones out, or would that be me?
I just want to live happy, and I want to live free,
But they seem to spark up, whenever I scream.
There's a certain pleasure they get, when they see you cringe,
They're on the edge of their seat, when your life hangs by a fringe.
They get a heart full of warmth, and a face full of grin,
Then they savor the moment, until they can seize it again.
To these fictional characters, I must commend,
They may seem helpful, but will hurt in the end.
Yet, I stay in search of one to defend,
The honor and duty of a lifelong friend.
You were practically my big brother
You watched out for me.
You protected me.
When my ex tried to hurt me
You beat him up for me.
You quit your bad habits,
So you could be a better friend to me.
When I was upset and crying me eyes out.
You took me in your arms and calmed me down.
How will I live with out you.
You are now looking at me in heaven
Watching over me
you are my guardian angel.
But I want you down here on earth.
With me once again.
Marggrette misses you SO much.
You were her husband
and the father of her unborn child.
She Cries for you.
Please Come back to us.
Megan misses you.
When I told her you had moved on she cried.
She read your note to her.
She wishes you didn't have to go.
Why don't you come back PLEASE
Your life was full of bad things.
But you were just turning it around.
God had no right to tear you away from us.
You deserve a second chance.
You were so full of life.
The way you took care of Kianna,
Your real little sister.
The way you looked at Marggrete.
The way you knew how to PARTY
and have a great time,
I'm missing you already.
I'm already missing our annual weekend meets.
I know one day we will meet again.
When you help me through the golden gates of heaven.
But that is too far away.
I can still feel you with me.
It feels to serial to be true.
I know you haven't passed away.
Its just a dream.
Your still here with us.
OK I have to face the facts.
You're in heaven.
And I can't change that.
But I know you will be there,
Watching over me.
So This is my goodbye to you.
I Love you Alex-Jordan Jones
An orange glow and bright red teeth,
Oh, darling, won’t you sing me to sleep?
She drank her morning breakfast, Percocet and tea.
She played piano with bitten fingers, feet shaking underneath.
Her daddy taught her years ago, his bitten fingers touched those keys.
I should have beat him at his game, should’ve made them know this name.
She twinkled like a little star, lonely diamond in the sky,
Beautiful and woozy, not perfect like that Lucy.
She’s nothing special, damn sure not pure,
Thought she’d finally found her cure.
She wears those star-shaped sunglasses, knows she’s nothing good,
Smokes cigarettes and Mary-Jane, what are your demons, baby?
I’ll be your demon, baby.
Roof over her head is burning, eyes inside are ice,
She’s glacial and she’s tree bark, she’s a set of loaded dice.
I’ll finally beat him at his game; make that fucker know my name.
He’s gambling with danger, daddy dearest why’d you go?
Hung flowers across her bedroom walls, wilting brown and old.
She likes the smell of rotting, the sly slickness of mold.
Before she was glowing amber, now she’s those fading flowers.
Her lips are blue like the empty bottle on the table.
The TV’s on but only for static, she doesn’t believe in cable.
She didn’t believe in cable.
Just play the piano and please don’t call my mother,
The only friend I ever had besides you was my brother.
He ended up in prison, Father left years ago.
I should have beat him years go.
I should have done this years ago.
I loved you.
Nothing more disgusts me,
Than living with my brother and father,
And an inadequate mother.