I still shed a tear every once in a while
Most things still remind me of you
Some of the silly faces you'd make have rubbed off on me
I can't listen to your favorite song without breaking down
I enclosed the physical memories in a box in my closet
Though you still cross my mind every night
Some of the memories make me smile
I'm grateful to have enjoyed them with you
Others make me weep
Like the time you opened your heart and let me in
Most days I miss you
But I've learned what it means to keep going
I am moving on
With your words that made me fly somehow.
But hidden within ur innerself its always been your sweetest lie.
Talking bout your dreams devouring me like ashes twisted and slowly disappearing.
The truth acts like a spirited-away. Letting it fly back to its inside.
There's this always inside of you. Something hidden and somethng blocked. Stopping you from outpouring what's inside.
Mind and heart was in despair. They were always contrary but hearing all! With your honesty, i know there is all the droppin of everythng. All numb but eyes were all blown. I cant stop it.
But all a could say. Everythng was fragile.
Revenge has always been part of the human soul. not in its anatomy form or any interior or exterior aspects.
But functioning with its own parts.
Its the anger! Where it all starts. Jealousy and hurt were the main stream and always end to suffering.
Thats all for love. We'd all be needing for us to feel even.
Just a pinch of happiness just to get fair for someone that we love but did somethng wrong within us breaking us. Attacking every tiny vessels which in the end, Turning us into an evil creature.
It was a buss - telling me it was that simple thing. Not to make it more bigger. But lets end this up.
Still it hurts,... Still. Its another woman. Such senstivity arising.
You got out of work at eleven and I was there waiting for you.
Leaning against your car with my arms crossed,
hiding in the shadow of the security camera because no one
should have to see us like this before I made my peace or before
you tried to stop me.
You sauntered over with your hair fixed and your face black
from the powdered metal dust that stuck to your skin while you were doodling
on a notepad waiting for the tumbler to shut up and give you new parts
to start the process.
I've waited and waited for my parts to have back from you after you took them.
To start the process.
To be fine
With your hands in your pockets you angrily backhanded a reply to my fainted "hi"
above the noise of other workers clocking out their time cards,
punch in and punch out
"What are you doing here?"
I didn't think it needed an answer.
But since you questioned and since I've been silently mad for days and since
I'm almost to the breaking point I said something
that I can't remember in this late night, confused memory,
you don't answer my calls and won't look at me and won't talk to me
just keep pushing past and past my presence in your life when you're looking
and in your mind when you're not,
I put myself here.
I put myself where you'd have to see me just so you could tell me
why it is you loved so deeply and left so quickly.
Then my eyes went hazy and my mouth fell sideways as you told me
something I expected to hear that still shocked my soul
because a large part of me that I don't like to admit
was still hoping for the answer I'd been praying for
or the realization of an epiphany you've had over loving me
as only a memory and wishing you could have it that real again.
But you clocked me-
punch in and punch out.
You used me to heal the bad stuff and then parted when you were done.
Parted and left me when you had what you needed
to get through another stubborn year of acting like you love me
but lying because you never really did.
I got in my car and waited at the factory red light
until it turned green and drove the opposite way you were leaving.
I watched the two headlights as they blurred themselves into direction.
I watched you and I knew that I had nothing to come back to.
Just empty words to be said and a desperate attempt
to get back what I thought I had again.
Have you ever felt that feeling
Where you can literally feel
Your heart breaking in two?
You can literally feel each half separate
Every blood vessel splitting in two
And it just hurts you so much
That you just go numb
Until all the pain, all at once,
Comes flooding back to you.
my heart is heavy
and i am so
She had a break down,
She was so close to cutting,
But she thought of me,
“If my niece can get threw it then I can”
I ended up breaking down an sliced the shit out of my leg,
I feel so bad she looks up to me, im her Hero,
Im sorry Auntie i love you an i feel so bad,
I shouldnt have an i wish i didnt i want to fall apart an cry,
Im Sorry, Im so sorry,
Im not as strong as you are,
You can do it,
But i cant.
Mic check 1,2 1,2...
I do this for the ones who died to bring about the change
it's hard to stop the crying when you're standing in the rain
Our politicians lying they're just on a campaign
I realize with three eyes on my astral plane
breaking down a swisher filling it with Mary Jane
So I won't go insane from this knowledge that I've gained
the consequence of speaking out a bullet in your brain
or a one way trip to Guantanamo Bay
Join Forces with the Killers Rest In Peace J.F.K
Man Lacking Knowledge of who killed M.L.K
Like a wolf in sheep's clothing they are not who they portray
as yall can tell I'm back with the word play
Brothers killing brothers over colors that they claim
While our sister are exploited for a dollar and some change
their fathers either dead or locked up in the chain gang
cause they were labeled felons for trafficking cocaine
Mama drop out of school and entered the dope game
was known to pull tricks and do strange things for change
trying to chill with the gang but when it's time to bang
you'll find out that some of these niggas just wanted to hang
but I broke out of that cage all you need is couRAGE
Now I'm lost in a maze and trying to save all my days
while I'm wasting my nights I feel I'm fading away...
Gods and soldiers
were the heights of shoulders!
Did anyone love
undefined in my brooding years?
The sunrise is breaking,
tearing rainbows at their seams;
I am without elegance
in the flesh
to describe this
from lips that beat back smiles…
My ears, though,
elude to such sweet regards.
Without the pebble's presence,
the river's song
is but a silent one;
the soft wind wished it quiet
as I rolled out my arms
atop the grieving Fescue on the glen.
My breath escaped to engage
a sun's rays;
how brave I screamed the name
and in its end,
now lost with time.
My body burdens
the reaches of a Wych Elm;
I part with patriots
in a Whiskey serenade,
over my faithful wellies...
…pendulum of blood and booze
..felt like lifes too long moments
in ill-fitting shoes,
knowing when I chose them
there'd be a price to pay;
suffering, losing sight of the truth
I was tossed in waves that rolled deep
to a core that flinched with
each painful pace
en-route to breaking point.
my loss of poise known, seen
as I fell into screaming resignation.
....Resolved to rise again
my fevered soul
kicks its shoes from burning feet,
soles prickled, tentative
against solid ground
till I stand
freedoms sweet sensation,
swollen in a cooling moment
of outside within.
Flashes of light,
rushes of sound,
through the stream of life, bounds
Breaking forth for
with lack of care
for my sanity,
it may seem vanity for
me to present an unbroken seal,
to hide what others
would say is real.
I so wish to stay secure
I do not yield to the
It is with sadness that I
admit the futility
of this stupidity of
How much more can I persist?