A dollar deal
fun for all ages
cartoon wood owl
lingers shallow sky
like a feral flag.
Black disc eyes
rattle plastic sockets.
Painted plumage surges
fast ripples that
shiver synthetic feathers
and crinkle wind.
Orange streamers whip,
and twist like crooked ribbons
Out of breath!
Out of shape!
Oiled families point
my stepdaughter blushes,
I gallop like a madman
splash over seashells
and crab holes,
dragging a stubborn symbol
I cannot wrangle
The leash has snapped!
My body fails!
Broken nylon falls
like tangled web,
my handful of slack
spills like silk
when i trip in sea weed
and accept this refusal
knowing we share
the same fates,
crashing into white sand
a folly for sunny strangers.
Dandelions and daisies
More than the body
Sold openly on the street
By the kilogram
Men and women
Young and old.
The fall of one civilization
Merely to give rise
To one that will
Only hope to make men
In the lives of artifacts
Bare finger tips
Graze over frescoes
Litters every corner
Accompanied by waste
Amidst the gray haze
Of cigarette smoke
Clouding the view
Of snowcapped mountains
Dandelions and Daisies
night after night, we text.
she goes first, and it's always
the same story:
'I'm committing suicide,' she'll write,
listing her various reasons for wanting to do so.
of course, I'll try to calm her down.
(it usually works, except when she falls asleep
with her sadness still intact).
she says she has it all figured out,
that she'll register her will online for $25
and pay the Europeans to come pick up
I can never tell what's real and what's not.
besides, she's very stubborn in her ways
and can't be argued with.
she also claims I'm the only person she's confessed to,
so I suppose that when the phone stops beeping
for a day or two, I'll be the first to know.
I just hope she leaves a note behind
for everyone else.
from Slinking Under The Electric Bulb (2012)
you miss everything
My body reacts to those very words
and I'm left wondering is your everything
the same as mine?
It takes me to that place...
the moment when your breaths
mix with mine
when I could feel your chest heave
against my flesh
when your voice reached such low tones
and when you released animalistic growls
as you said my name
When you said my name
I felt it deep inside my core
where vibrations set off moans
of my own as I begged you to impale me..
leaving me saturated
leaving my skin damp
my nipples swollen and sore
my little treasure pounding inside
its own rage
I wonder if this is what you mean't
you know...the moment when your knees
buckled while every single emotion
we've ever shared spilled into
our thrusts and highest peaks
into the sorrow time of missing everything
(I miss you too)...xo
Why is it that once we age we find ourselves defined by our bodies? Something that we have simply become a bystander in has become all of our identity.
Why is it that what grows around my soul is all anyone sees?
Why is it that I am judged for every mark or hair that I didn’t put on my body
But I refuse to remove
Why is it that I am taken by the arm and told how to act
How to be someone that does not sleep alone
Why am I so out of control for thinking of my body as a temple and not a place of warfare, not a conquest to be had
Why am I the crazy one in a room full of addicts?
Addicted to the place they’re in when they skip a meal, or get rid of the one they just had to indulge in
Addicted to society telling them that for every bone they can see, that they did well
They wear their bones like gold stars
Making sure they are vulnerable enough to be wanted
Making sure they are wanted, period
Constantly wishing to be less
Hoping to have lost more, every morning while looking in the mirror
Taking time, lunch breaks, to get rid of more
To purge what is rightfully theirs
Until it’s finally gone
So here it goes
we're back again
two point oh?
let's make a change.
press your body onto mine, kiss my inner thigh, scream my name in His face. Let's show them real disgrace.
wonder how did I miss this icky kiss, how did i sleep without this little bitch, how could i go without ever coming back to this.
There's no point in fooling or joking. laughing or crying.
It's time to face the facts.
The above it but a lie.
One festered in my mind.
You are not a Kid.
You are not my Kid
and you never will be.
You are the poison that I chose
To run within my soul.
To ruin this little girl
And make her become friends with the Alone.
You are not a Kid.
but once you were,
to me...at least.
Before I knew
knew the truth.
being that you became.
that I created.
but I never knew your being.
the one I created.
the one which adores my mind and haunts my hopes and dreams
it haunts me.
you haunt me.
I haunt me.
My Frankenstein devours me.
It is not fit for me. Yet it is me.
seven years sets in as the mirror shatters
my reflection no longer who he used to be;
or perhaps he's always been that way,
and my ignorance, my blind eyes
have been causing me pain, telling me lies
the temptations of having someone so alike
has left my thoughts running amok
has caused my heart itself to tuck
its veins and arteries back inside
i was open wide
but now, as i try to close
this gaping wound, my body knows
that healing is much harder a task than i could ever have thought it to be.
so i'll slam my fingers on the keys
to try to gain some sort of release
until something from my brain is freed
and devotion of this kind
i will no longer need.
the notes bite into my fingertips
deep slits left behind
as i unwind
finding that the tide has come in
as the lunar orb begins to set
i try not to fret
as my sinews are played
on the shiny white teeth
on the rotten black cavities between
the braces of my fingers, cleaned
of what might have beens and who are they nows
methamphetamine of the mind
speeds up my heart, my flesh unwinds
i scream for an end
to this running, running song
but find that all along
ive been playing this silly game;
so the shame
begins to set in as i see
i loved him on a whim
in the house where they teach us
not to sin
while he was dancing satan's steps
adultery, lust, and the rest
im bashing now, no longer holding
onto the gentle tune that began this twisting
that is my brother, my friend
my brother, my friend...
but in the end,
he was just another jester.
but in the end,
here to pester, adorned in costumes
and fancy dancing shoes
but in the end,
this wasn't a duet at all.
this wasn't a duet at all!
THIS WASN'T A DUET AT ALL!
I thought I understood it.
The way the world operated.
The safety and compassion,
The darkness, the secrets and the fears.
I thought I knew myself,
I thought I knew my body.
My bones, my shapes, my figure.
But I did not soon realise this could change.
I thought I knew our passion and devotion,
And the way we were attached when we loved.
But the sensation brought consequences,
And so did I.
I soon imaged the rhythm of the heartbeat for the first time.
I soon imagined that grasp on my forefinger.
I soon imagined the love I felt.
I soon imaged the struggles, the loss and the hate I’d face.
I soon imagined destruction,
With just two swallows it would be gone for good,
And the fight would be over.
But I never wanted to face that choice,
I wanted to hold the delicate youngster in my arms.
I wanted to protect them from the horrors of the world.
But this was not likely.
I began to question all the possibilities and outcomes,
But no other have sprung to mind.
For I thought I understood myself and the universe,
But I've been left scared and confused.
But what could be worse than living with guilt.
I thought I understood it, but I did not.
I wince at the pain that electrifies through my body,
You look down and reassuringly smile at me.
I inhale and exhale deeply,
'Keep calm' I continuously tell myself.
You tug at my body,
My chest rubbing against yours.
Our sweaty bodies are intertwining,
Uniting us as one.
Your breathing becomes heavy,
Your hands twisting through my hair.
I pull your body towards me,
And clutch onto your bare back.
'I love you'
Your warmth breath tickles against my steaming skin.
The mixture of pleasure and pain shot through,
As the sensation filled me.
Within a few moments,
Your eyes glance into mine.
'You're perfect' I barely whisper,
As your moistured lips greet mine.