I just scribbled for the sake of scribbling;
admittedly, a line of verse which bursts freely,
From a twisted, confused, depressed mind;
Lifeless leaves; decayed fruits; torn out paper;
Lay in the Rain; dawn to dusk; until all ruined;
You bleed away; wounds are still awaiting cure!
Lifeless blind eyes opens, doing nothing at all;
Nothing Left out in the intake pot to hope about.
(All poems in this series are, translations from Malayalam, originally written in author’s mother-tongue, “Malayalam’”, the language of Kerala, in South India.)
BY WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
Bouncing Betty in the closed corridor
The white walls bleed red
The red walls bleed white
Oh, how can we escape this squalid shell?
Ceiling fans Awake
Silent hardwood floors,
They run screaming into the dull darkness
Let's feed the creature
That's lurking below.
Does the creature exist outside my mind?
All my rainbows fade
TO SHADES OF COPPER.
All the browns of the trees still look the same.
The mind can be a
Prison for your eyes
Let's escape Perceptual Alcatraz.
A silver dawn waits
For the queens return.
I didn't know true happiness till you came into my life.
I didn't know true heartbreak until you walked away.
It came and went quicker than night and day.
When I close my eyes I can hear you laugh.
I like to smile because it reminds me of how we laughed together.
When I'm alone I imagine your arms wrapped around me in an embrace.
Because you gave me the best of hugs.
When I play piano I can see you over my shoulder smiling away.
Your smile always made me happy.
But when I hear your name my body breaks down.
I am unable to move, think or breath functionally.
A shiver down my spine, goosebumps on my arms.
The tears I shed for you make me feel sick inside.
Like my heart is rotting more and more with each thought of you.
My whole being is being ripped away and torn to shreds.
Everyone can see through me and my X-ray heart.
They can see me decaying inside getting darker and colder.
I can never shed a tear for anyone but you.
I will never love again because of you.
Walk by me again and see my X-ray heart.
I dare you to try and say it's not you.
I will open my mouth and darkness will pour out.
I will begin to burst and bleed.
I will fall down upon my knees.
And finally I will be free.
See you in the afterlife.
There's this empty feeling deep inside
I feel in you I can confide
You were always there for me when I was in need
When I was with you I couldn't feel my heart bleed
Even though the pain and loneliness was still there
You showed me how to just not care
For so long now we have been apart
I'm feeling empty and that's just the start
Soon I'll feel the loneliness and the pain
I need you like flowers need rain
Sure we had our problems as most do
There were moments when I even hated you
It'll be different this time I know we can work
After all ever relationship has its quarks
So how about it, what do you say
I need you to drive the pain and loneliness away
Take my hand and don't let me go
It'll be our little secret no one will ever know
With this pen
I slit my wrist
Let it bleed on this page
Release the sadness and rage
Let these words
Pick the lock and let me out if this cage
Paint a smile for those I love
They don't need to know
So I do my best to hide
All the pain that's deep inside
Writing blood and tears
In this little book of mine
No, I don't want it to show
I don't want your attention for this
It just brings more pain
If blood on the floor
Is what it takes to say my name
I'd rather hear silence
At least it's honest
So I write these words
Just for me
To keep Death away
I scribe its name
And hope one day
The pain that fills my pen
Will drain away
And I can put this blade
You bleed out and in
These tempting sentiments
Blending into consciousness
Forgetting what is sin
Chills of the ending witching hour
The thrill of isolated power
Alone and wandering
Through barren streets
Feel your bones and your ponderings
Getting honest, losing heat.
Calling out to restless feet
Taunting wired minds
To give in to a sleepless night
And venture into the ever-crisp air
To breathe in smoke and frozen breath
To dare to find what lingers there.
Just another pouring rain
More debris in my storm drain
Leading to this fight within
Worn and winded once again...
Hidden turmoil I hold tight
Closer to wrong, further from right
I am bone and I am skin
You were innocent Gaylenn...
Another mark left by Cain
Another unwashed stain
Am I a product of Damnation
A soul worth wasting...
Once upon a time long ago
Green was my mind, fool was my role
Tainted deed was that really me
How much shame must I bleed...
35 years later I still feel bad about hurting her.
Life lets me breathe every now and then.
So sad in blue skies.
I remember those green eyes.
So clear and calming.
Now replaced by dark red.
For help and prayers
I wont bleed till’ you bleed.
Won’t sing till’ you scream.
Until your dead and I can sleep.
I don’t care if I cry.
I don’t care if I pray.
I don’t cay if I die.
All I know is that you never tried.
Sometimes, those words you throw
Hit hard enough to leave
They often nick the skin,
Reopen old wounds,
One of these days
Roses on a stem
soft, velvety on my skin
thorns cause me to bleed