The words escape me
Their message is daunting
I begin to hate me
Reprocusions are haunting
Been feeling low lately
My mans lies are taunting
He's got a secret lady
But i'm the one left wanting
Sleep deprivation, watching the
Hair on my arm as it transforms, as
It begins to dance down to my hand,
I think I'm losing it, these shadows
Do not feel like my friends.
They seem more like demons here to
Torture what's already damned,
To devour what's already dead, to
Claim the souls of those who've given
Up, just like they did. Someone --
My eyes are heavy, tired and red--
Hearing my name being called again,
Please tell me this is all in my head.
Listening for shoes against the hardwood
Floors, hearing footsteps-- please
Tell me I'm having another bad dream
Clenching my fists, nails cutting into
My hands-- breaking skin,
Until I finally cave in, grabbing my
Shoelace and a loaded syringe.
Hoping my demons will return to
The place I must sleep to revisit.
Pushing the plunger in, I inject
Myself with more poisonous relief
And the shadows begin to fade away,
Back to the dreams I've been avoiding.
But what happens if one day,
These nightmares decide they'd rather
Stay, unable to be injected away?
Shadows are not my friends, they're
Unmistakably the enemy, here to
Devour me // to seize my sanity.
the charcoaled branches freeze in pain,
stiffened from the reddest flame.
the green glisten that hung before,
was nonexistent and no more.
the wild fire was meant to tame.
the tall oaks that stood years of life,
now crumbled from agony and strife.
their whispers are no longer found,
they shut their mouths and make no sound.
they begin to crawl out of their slife.
their life is an endless cycle,
of life and birth, error and trial.
they shoot up from the dust of death,
with open lungs and exhausted breath.
their lives have started anew,
with the hope that we will too.
the lesson learned is sweet but short,
all life goes on through pain and hurt.
The car glides through the night,
The gentle roll between rubber and tarmac
Just inches beneath my feet,
And as each lamp post casts its amber
Gaze upon me through the fogged up window,
I begin to wonder how they stand there,
And yet they still shine bright,
Throwing a luminescent sublimity
For hundreds of wandering souls
To find their way home,
To trace the tarmac veins of the city
Until they are nestled in the brick red hearts
of their homes,
And I sit here, a freight train of abnormally large
Thoughts passing through my fatigued and stretched mind
Whilst I am drifting under these street lights,
When I could be curled up in bed,
Sleeping through blissful dreams or stormy nightmares,
Eyes closed until another dawn spills over the horizon,
But then it occurred to me,
I am a creature of the night.
"What's on my mind? The same thing that's been on my mind since our first blessed encounter... the day we met. There is nothing I want more, and nothing I wouldn't give... but not out of greed or lust or obsession. but out of pure and honest love. I want her... no... need her. She's the air that I breathe, yet now I feel so breathless. Poisoned by torturing pleasure, sweetened by blissful pain. She is my life." -Y.M.
Why do I cry? Is it because you'll never know? Is it because I can't tell you everything that's deeply carved in my mind and in my heart? Or is it because I know that even if I did it wouldn't make a difference?
For her are the tears that slowly roll down my face, gently resting on the corners of my quivering lips. For her are the countless hours spent reminiscing. Hers are my every thought, every effort and every intention of my days. For her is my breath. For her is my heartbeat. For her is my very soul. She is my everything, for she is all that I am and all that I lack. For her I cry every night. I have met my demise.
"Trying to forget her is like trying to forget vital functions... Forget how to walk, talk, breathe. It's simply not possible. So I stay here and wait. Forever if I must. Forever is a long time, but whats the point of living if it can't be with her? My heart will never be at rest until it is with its other half, even if it does take forever. Forever waiting for my life to begin. Forever waiting to complete my soul. Forever waiting to love you forever." -Y. M.
Where to begin
How to start
All I have to do is
Take a breath. Go.
Say what you need to say
Highlight your main points
Oversee any changes,
Under and over with vocabulary
Let it flow through you
Definitely. Divide. Daft. Difference.
I think this is... I think.
Where do they lurk? Where can I find it?
Rather a difficult chore, it seems
I can hardly take it! No more!
Take me away! I almost... Just a little. I just can't....
before the world ends
that you may not love
is the haunting.
where your ghost is rain
your mind clouds.
and nothing is foreseen
like the past.
in the long watch of this blindness
we are surely rogue begonias
needling the impenetrable nethers
of our low coronas
we jest in the rage of our humors
gilding the uvula
of our golden throats
trilling in the infinite sublime
and gain no quarter
unabridged, we straddle the span
of our chasm.
we seek to stand apart
from whatever wounds
a hollow ache
and empty gut
when a life invested
is laid bare
to the truth
and all that is you
a little off track
a little too soft
have been revealed
to drag every thought
pit of fear
fiber of your being
telling you to run
when there is
nowhere to turn
this feat of endurance
what is left
a body is hard pressed
for only so much
and something is lost
that cannot be regained
is hard pressed
its own torment
the sense of self
constructed so carefully
is exposed as temporal
will begin to crack
there is no irony
just abandoned ignorance
biology and chemistry
awareness of consciousness
Here is where you start to sin,
feel the power rise within,
you feel your greed begin to rise,
death is just another guise,
the Devil's soul will surface yet,
on this wretched, black sunset.
Come and play a game with me,
bargain your chance to be free-
Take the gun and spin the lead,
the path to life is through the dead-
Set the board and let's begin,
here is where you start to sin-