With razor wings
Beats so fast
You only knew
This wouldn't last
Night and day
Heart so full
About to burst
Want or love
Who can tell
Your magic spell
Tear stained cases
A Lovers caress
Your taper shines
The problem is
Within your mind
Then you left
You took my wish
Heard my heart
Ignored its warnings
The love is gone
It's left for good
It's just a mood
Sick to death
Of all this fear
Covered in tears
Seize the moment
Live for today
I wouldn't trade
One moment away
You love me
Or do you not
You are every thought
Thus have I heard about one of those enlightened souls playing music for all sentient beings.
A busking Buddha big beats bongo drums,
The man not merely makes a song or plays
a beat. In Boston subway busking proud
He sees so simply all the people their—
The beings beaming or just brooding ‘round.
Y hace mal moon no means to show us:
Light to the basement to balm the ol’ brain.
Minds in need of some mighty mantras now
For before earthly beings may be seen
Like some viewèd stars sole or together
And before bodhi begins to beset—
The music manifests to multitudes.
O brakeman, the trains loud billowing blast!
Moves motors so rapidly. Commuters
And tourists believe breath does begin brass,
But listen and it slowly sings a song.
But the kind bodhisattva believes that
A breath more manifests in melody
Like bells of beautiful bliss that do ring.
The music of the man is malleable,
The notes bound as hearts bled out; besides hear
That other sound, it seems to sing in praise
Of the jam being made that’s between all,
Of magic mamba mambo rhythm made.
The beautiful young bodhisattva brings
More joy to me than any maiden might,
O because she is such a beatnik babe—
She steps so silently off the subway.
A Bhikkhuni with bright star eyes—there blest—
See meaning of man in so many ways.
The beat booms back up to the high main street:
A melancholy moaning a lament.
The brooding beat then becomes bitter-sweet
By stirring the strings of hearts and of souls,
It befits bleak and euphoric bones gold.
The beat makes multitudes into Meccas.
Those notes bound for both body and psyche,
And moments made to memory imprint,
And belong to be blazon and be kind,
And simple, serene and of sustenance,
Mind begging belief, bodhi to awake,
Must melt the ego away, it must go.
The bustling of born beings from point B
To A makes me quite sad and almost mad,
As beings buscan to just belong here
Be it to something substantial or sacr’d.
It bemuses the Buddhas because the
Melodious music frees the whole psyche.
Me, being beyond birth and beyond death,
I’m without mirth or melancholy means.
Soul begs for bites of bodhisattvas soul,
While slowly stumbling and mist spiting words
Like both a drunk and bum whose bemusèd.
O merry mi bright manifestation
In the dark Metro. Beyond being both
To the mind my own reflection mirrors
It reflects off the subways small windows
And brings bout the new belief being this:
O me! The mania of mind cut diamond.
O me! A body-vessel, a boundless
Thing of mass dropt into a maelstrom’s surge,
Beat sings the surf of the soundless ol’ sea,
Been, being, be known bongos music makes
The Metro a zendo for all mankind.
Us all (just candles to be blown—whoosh—out).
It fills my ears like liquid goal.
I take a breath to stop the need of unspoken remity.
The strokes of the lost voilen rythems the beats of my heart; the easy rhyme of the piano mocks my soul.
To not jump and leap would be to unfoster a child, an action that I take for granted.
My heart calls out for the music set before me.
The rythem takes me away, as I loose hope.
Easing my Pain and anger, I take it.
Dance. My mind tells me as I harness the music of a loss child.
Bowing, leaping, gliding.
Letting the fluid of the strokes take my body prisoner.
The world becomes a wirle of colors.
Fire. Water. Earth.
All dancing with perfect rythem with my soul and heart.
So beautiful, it makes a grown man cry.
Violen, Chelo, Piano.
All screaming at me to fly.
So I obey.
Sweat takes over my skin peeling layers of invisible masks yearning for chemical feedings. It's been days- I've been thinking slow and fragile. Bedtime has no name and it hurts. There's caution in my eyes screaming " Stay Away"! Drowning in my own body of water. "Come Clean" he whispers.
Solace and silence. I want. Dirty migraines to migrate forever. Shivers to shed as I travel back into time -not swallowing so much inside to feel OK with chemicals balancing brain beats. "Come Clean" he whispers. Flashback: I see the love of my life holding a ring on the day strange beauty died in his arms. Images creep of a little boy begging for my wake. Awake I stay.
Beginnings to a next day with no recollection. Trying to find expression in lost graphs and schedules that were once dictated by "the medicine". It made sense. Cycling back and forth through highs and lows trying to remember that God made all things. "Come clean".
In this moment I want to live only because in the next moment I'll be dead- again. I can hear the race of my heart and I want a beautiful design only because in the next moment I will come down and want nothing." Come clean".
In this moment I convince myself to skip my daily dose only because a PHD took away the nightly dose. "Come clean".
Relapse. In this moment I swallow untitled entries to close my mind from a few moments.
You took a shovel and dug out the feelings i had left inside,
You took away my bubble and left an empty pit in it's place.
Am reeling from everything supposed to be there which isn't.
My heart beats yet it's mimicking motions of living.
My chest heaves taking in breaths,
Letting out frustration.
I know I said I let go but guess am a liar.
Or just a fool.
Cause I walked away and expected you to stay.
I turned my back and when you did too the tie between my destiny and yours snapped.
Didn't expect it to hurt as much though.
Like being torpedoed and crushed.
I passed by where we used to hang out,
Got hit in the face by a pair of boobs so big my heart stopped.
Dunno if it's cause I feel i can't compete with that, or maybe am just selfish.
Either way you won.
Couldn't do right by me.
And you got someone you are doing it all for.
i learned the hard way that love
doesn’t mean staring down the barrel
of a loaded gun,
telling me it’s his way or no way at all.
no one can ever make me
compromise my values,
not even the sweetest face (you),
not even the smoothest talker (you),
not even the gentlest touch (you).
i see you in every landscape,
every arrangement of orange leaves
on the autumn trees,
the snowfall on the tall mountainsides,
and i feel you in the hot sun
that beats down on my skin,
but i can’t keep dancing around
the words on my tongue,
the ones that keep trying to
pry open my lips, gasping for air,
begging to be set free.
no one can recalibrate my mind
to suit his needs, his wants.
we promised love to each other,
but even that isn’t enough for me
when my concerns, my beliefs,
aren’t second to none.
Tonight I feel loney, I need you to hold me
Need to feel the warmth of your lips on the back of my neck
Humming the melodys and rap beats that never leave your head
And the smell of you to fill the air of my bedroom
Laying in bed, eating pizza, watching movies, and making out
I have the best nights when there spent with you
And you tell me I'm lovely, but never say you love me
That I'm the only girl for you
But your out somewhere, God knows where
Stumbling around downtown, causing chaos and drunken brawls
Kissing girls, picking fights, and doing things I'd rather know nothing about
You'll never grow up or leave this god forsaken town
Everyone tells me that deserve so much more, they tell me you'll never treat me right
You're a big dreamer distracted by fleating memories of glory days, a totally fucked up mess
I'm laying here alone and there's nobody else I want, I find your carefree life charming
You piss me off but I kind of like putting up with you and all your bullshit
The light in her eyes catches me by surprise
she looks at me with radiancy
The capacity of my lungs decay
My heart beats resonate
I feel my lips twist up to a smile
I can see the way she is hungry for life
It is excitement she seeks
lust she craves
love she needs.
I could feel
In the first beats
Of that metal heart.
Once on it's feet,
Merely an echo of life,
Of that machinery
That ran our body.
The song wasn't as inspiring as the other one.
hear my passionate heart
read what it beats into the night
wrap your soul in my words
ink replaces drops of blood
dripping from every letter
each phrase a personal side of me
read my fantasies, then close your eyes
touch the screen as if it's my skin
breathe me in thru my words
know me by what I write
meet who I am unfolding before you
read me, my life, my soul