This bedroom filled with memories
Familiar lights holding harmonies
Trying to forget that rose peddle smell
Remembering all of that hell
Our final day together, it was late at night
I put myself in such a consistent fright
Asking the wrong questions
Feeling like therapy sessions
I tried to think of something to do
This only thought was true
Our end came to be
You would never see me
The way you looked at me was gone
Reality checked in at dawn
For one whole year
I still miss you my dear
I spend twelve months thinking of you
Can’t get my head out of this fuzzy hue
Making those silly mistakes
That face of yours in my tears of lakes
My heart became a sickness
How can I find you again, miss?
I can’t have you be a distant memory
Can’t you tell I can see?
No time left to fix
We can never be in this mix
As dumb as it sounds
Making all these regretful pounds
How much you meant to me
Losing your love at sea
You call from far away
Making me pay
For all the damage
You turned to a razor edge
It’s been a whole year
And I just remembered today, my dear
I try to forget about you
Darling, I wish that wasn't true
The hallway seemed to sway with the motion of the tears filling my eyes. I tried to keep going to get to the door, but I collapsed there in the hall. The weight crashing down on me. She was dead. My only love was dead. I’d been with her for six years and we’d been waiting to get married. That was all over now. They had killed her. I laid my head in my hands and let it all go. I fell spiraling down into the darkness at the edge of my consciousness. My very last thoughts echoing in my head as I slipped into this grief coma, they would all pay, they would pay.
The clock on the wall ticked loudly as I made my way to Mr. Jefferson’s office. The hallways were empty, an unusual thing for a Monday morning in a business firm. I tried not to let it get in my head. I had a job to fulfill. If I didn't get this one right the boss would surely wring my neck. She wasn't the most understanding person, and tolerated no mistakes. A dark cherry wood door lay at the end of the long hallway with a silver plate spelling out Mr. Jefferson’s office. All the other doors I had passed had, had similar ones.
I knocked on the door quietly waiting for an invitation inside. I took a deep breath and steady myself. Telling myself I had to do this. There was still no beckoning to come in so I knocked louder, but was only greeted by silence. I opened the door quickly and peered in. Mr. Jefferson laid slumped over his paper work in the messy piles on his desk.
A bullet through his head. Well this was just great now the boss had another reason to chew me out. I closed the door quietly and made my way to the body. Blood spilled from the back of his head and off his shoulders dripping into the puddle on the floor. I took my phone from my pants pocket and called Leo.
“Hey, Leo we got a problem, Jefferson’s already dead. They’re a step ahead of us. What’s my next move?” the line was silent for a minute until he replied, “what was the cause of death?” I looked at the back of Jefferson’s head one more time to make sure that was no other abrasions. “Bullet wound in the back of his head, no sign of struggle either.”
“Alright, I’ll inform the boss. You should probably make your way back to the headquarters. I can tell you now the boss isn't going to be happy.” I sighed I already new that. The bitch had been riding my ass all month now. It wouldn't hurt her to give us all a break once in a while. I closed my phone. I made my way out the door. No doubt someone else would find Jefferson and would immediately go for the video tapes.
Luckily I didn't come here alone, I brought my computer genius along, that could erase us from every tape and cover his tracks. I gave a polite smile to each person I passed and had to fight to walk calm and smoothly out the front doors. Brain already waited inside the car looking anxious. We were both fairly new to the working in the field. Usually the boss assigned me on small assignments. I got inside the drivers side and pulled out right away. “Jefferson was already dead when I got there, bullet wound to the back of the head, what I don’t understand is how no one heard it, or why he didn't struggle,” I told Brian. “Maybe a silencer on the gun? And perhaps his lack of struggle was because there was a gun pointed at his head?” I thought it over. It was possible but that was different from all the others. “They usually cover their tracks better than that though,” I looked over at Brain whose face was crinkled by his deep thoughts. “Maybe they were in a rush?” The wound had looked freshly made. “Perhaps,” I said still mulling it over. “I suppose we’ll just have to wait for the police reports.”
As I had figured Liana was furious. “How is it that four out of seven of the people I've told you to get information from then take out have ended up already dead when you got there?” She spit angrily in my face. Liana was a scary lady but she didn't scare me.
“I don’t know you tell me,” I said and smiled at her. I could feel the audience behind me stop what they were doing and cringe. “Do you think this is funny?” Liana said quietly.
Her face had gone rigid and her fist clenched so tightly at her sides, the knuckles had turned a ghostly white.
I knew which battles to fight and which to surrender. “No, nothing is funny,” I spat out clenching my jaw. I really hated this stupid job. If it wasn't for Liana keeping my brother alive I wouldn't be here. And just as I thought it Liana cheerfully reminded me, “do remember darling, your brothers life lies in my hands. One wrong move and it’s bye bye brother, understood?” Her dark eye’s drilling into mine. The feeling of hatred seeped from my body as it was overflowing inside me now. “Understood,” I growled.
“Good, now get out. I’ll call you when I have your next assignment.” She turned but stopped to look back,
“ and next time do not mess up,” then walked back into her office slamming the door.
I let the breath I had been holding out and left quickly before they all burned holes into me with their heavy glares. I made my way to Kyle’s room. The walls were painted dark blue with small silver stars painted all over. I had painted it for him, he loved the stars. “Kyle?” I said shakily looking down at the boy. His tiny body shaking in pain. He wouldn't eat. The vomiting broke his bones sometimes. His bones stuck through his skin like his skin had only been draped over his frail bones. The tears flowed from my eye’s and down my face. He was only fifteen.
He was so sick, I just wanted him to be okay. Healthy again. The reason I’d signed up to join this place was because they promised to save him. They said as soon as I finished the biggest assignment they would heal him. But I grew more and more doubtful.
Kyle had been infected, by the scientist. A super parasite they’d created. It caused brain disorders, like anorexia. Kyle’s brain was being attacked making him suicidal and making him believe he was anorexic. Making him believe he had to do these things. When it first started he was only depressed. He began cutting himself. When I saw the deep cuts in his arms and on his stomach I asked him about it and his answer had been, “I didn't want to do I just had to“ . At the time I’d misunderstood him.
Now I knew. He literally had been forced by the parasites inside his brain.
His eye’s were closed and I could see the struggle it took for him to intake each breath. His arms, thin ropes, laid at his side. It took a massive amount of energy and strength for him to even turn his head. “I will fix this Kyle, believe in me when I tell you that, I love you.” I kissed his cold forehead and left shutting the door slowly.
He lived a lie while
he was with me, It
started when I ended
up in the ER after we
saw that horror movie
and he could no longer
be his true self, the last
bit was gone and he
tried a little too hard
to be what I wanted.
In the end, that drove
him away and now
he's living the life he
Popping out from slumberous state,
Little buds, you come to life.
Fight, fist, fend the odds,
You’re different; you survive.
Combative, commanding, cruel,
Your army, every restraint exceeds,
As it marches on, devouring
The very platter on which it feeds.
Slithering, slipping stealthily,
Deadly tentacles spare no bone, sinew.
Boundaries are blurred; your territory expands,
Your militia continues to exponentially grow.
And soon, your red flags of victory-
Those flags of death, demise and doom
Are planted everywhere; each bit
Of terrain you’ve invaded and consumed.
There you sit, content, in the middle of all the gloom,
Immortal, indestructible, infinite.
With power of the magnitude you possess,
There’s no force that can give you a fight.
And when flies of decay begin to hover over
Your kingdom, you smile, flexing your pincers.
Thriving on the depressing glow of the setting sun,
You- the kark, the crab, the cancer.
(to the malady that ate my Grandmother away)
And thus we bid you welcome to our home,
Finzi-Continis of the new century,
we play jeu de paume all day
within our walled gardens
Deuce! Love! Set!
Hear the birds, the automobiles
Sense a world out there
Those we think we care not about,
those outside the wall
Ahab's wall, in a sense
We care not to hear about
would prefer not to know about
And they better leave us alone
yet we do not mind spending our evenings
discussing the politics
of people and places we will never see
Not much anyone could have done, was there?
So give us back carefree
Let us happy-go-lucky
Because every once in a while,
I wake up, then, for a moment
And back to the Garden you are
"There's a bubble!"
"There ~ another!"
Amid the childish laughter
we all watch them float away
happy colors winking at us
happily ever after
a blanket of sunshine
“I want to die”
I am unable to respond.
My fifteen years of life
Compared to her ninety.
She sits across from me
Threatening to fall,
To spread the truth down
Her sunken cheeks.
Her face is stricken with pain
Yet so sure.
My grandmother wanted to die.
“I’m just staying alive for them”
Them being my stepdad and aunt,
Again I am speechless
I cannot comprehend her words
When does one’s life stop being a gift
And becomes a chore?
How can the strength to go on leave?
I don’t know how to reassure her.
How can anyone persuade
Another person that their life
Is worth living?
Let alone a teenager
Whose biggest problem is a pimple?
Death is surrounding us
Covering our bodies
Forcing us to acknowledge it.
I want to run away from it but death will follow
It always does.
I do the only thing I hope will help.
I hug her
Our cheeks pressed together
Our tears joining,
Like the life left inside of her.
I was born of fire,
of a simple flame.
I save many worlds,
yet I take no blame.
It all dwindles away,
into my dark past.
What applause I do get,
it will never last.
I was born of ice,
frozen, cold, and blue.
I am a burden of frost,
a very bitter one, too.
A man of lost love.
A man of lost friends.
My companions die
as my life never ends.
I was born of rage,
war, cruelty, and hate.
That never really changes
once I regenerate.
In this war I face,
I'm a truly lost soldier.
But, you see, I won.
The Time War is over.
Once you have seen me
I will never be a blur.
For my true name is lost,
so just call me The Doctor
Sometimes i thought and want to hide
Where you can't see me
I want to fly,fly,fly, far away from you
Im just an extraordinary ink of a pen
Im only a poet that doesn't know where my feelings go
A stubborn poet
I dont have friends
And im all alone
But i don't regret any of that
Cause there's my ballpen that i can still write
I still have my paper to where i can insert and spread my wings
I still have you
That i can share
That i can talk
That i can learn
And that i can call
My only poet,
Thanks for being there.
surreptitiously slips away
and I fear
there will never be enough
of my dreams
Is it Christmas again?
It's snowy outside even though it's just May.
What will you bring this time?
Would it be a little puppy or a red racing car?
Let's sing carols again.
Let the sweet melodies take this cold days away.
Wake up! Wake up!
You're 20 years old.
So what if I'm a child inside? Is that really so wrong?