Just to say I love you
Never seems enough.
I've said it so many times
I am afraid you won't understand
What I really mean when I say it.
How can so much feeling
So much adoration possibly fit into
Those three words.
But until I find some other
Way of saying what I feel, then
"I Love You" will have to do.
So no matter how many times I say it
Never take it lightly. For you are my life,
And my only Love.
I love you now more
Then ever before.
sweet, sweet boy
i've seen you a-sittin' there
waiting for that older girl
with those bright eyes
and kind smile.
now southern boy
dont you drop a penny
cause she's a rich girl with class
and yer not gettin' her chastity
and yer not takin' her money
cause yer a proud son of an ass
and broken boy
why you still not takin' no bandages?
cause yer stubbornness is breakin' er
when yer the one who's bleedin'
oh, i can see it all repeatin'
what you dont know is she loves you
and yer in love too
but all this time you been thinking its sympathy
got this idea that you mean nothing to nobody
boy it's hurtin' er
it's hurtin me
cause baby boy
i see you as my own
im a-thinkin' you need to take a stand
she might be a stunner
only one who don take you as a sinner
but youve been forgettin'
that though shes a fine woman
y'always been a real good man
seen you cryin' tears
shes paradin' round
with a polished fella'
but why you aint been askin' her
"whens the weddin'"
when you think its comin'
honey, no girl in love
shows up at some lib'ary
when theres a man who orders sherry
im a-sure you feel
but you don see it
and sure as nothin' do you believe it
waitin', waitin' boy
how long you gon be sittin' there
that girl gave you time
but you didnt use it
and now im crying'
i can tell theres still love
but shes been takin'
and now yer a drunk
lost, lost boy
im a-beggin' here
cause i know its not her fault
and she thinks it was
and now we both afraid
cause you not even tryin' a-hide it
but yer becomin' yer father
and he was filled with hate
hes a gone, gone boy
im a sinner with a prayer
that her husband dies
an he drops the liquor
and they both survive
but, hes an old, old man
too many mornings i laid in your bed,
pretending to sleep, with your sheets
pulled up over my head
because i was afraid of what
you'd think if you saw my
and too many afternoons
i held my arms crossed
over my rib cage
hoping no one would see
how stupid i could be,
thinking if i drained the blood
from my veins or spilled
my guts into the sink,
maybe i'd start to shrink
and too many nights i cried
in the bathroom with all of my
clothes on, in front of the shower,
because i was afraid to feel my thighs
touch under the water
i spent too many hours
forcing my collar bones
out of my chest,
never stopping to notice
my life as it fell
away from me
with the rest
I don't think I'll be coming out
From the whole in this ocean
Of hopes and desires I made up
It's splitting me apart
And I don't know what to do
All I know is that one of them is me
And one is you
He's going to be a star some day
As I waste my efforts trying to
Climb the mountain of his soul
I want to be on the inside
I want you to just let me in
'Cause I think it's warm enough for the two of us
Please, I don't think I have much left
So can we please begin
If there's a future for us then
I don't want to have to wait forever for it
It's so damn difficult to keep standing still
I want to dive right in and be alone
Alone with you
I won't break my promises
I just want you to let me in
My life's starting to tear me into two
And I don't know what to do
And I don't know which one is me
And I know one was made by you
And I'm kind of scared but I don't want to say it
I just want to be with you
That what I’m writing with I’m afraid and fearful that a special one is going to be forgotten this
Looks like the piece is going far afield but it will fit I was in the fire department in the service we
Were out in the remote part of Hunter Liggett military reservation on the central coast of
California there wasn’t much likely hood of human carelessness being the cause of fire in this
Sector but Mother Nature and her angry lighting strikes were so we went out and we were
Control burning this was grass fuel mostly but a great deal of smoke and from that a fawn
Walked up out of this gulley she wasn’t unduly afraid just matter of course I walked down the
Gravel road and picked her up I held her to reassure her but I was the one touched by this little
Helpless creature I felt such peace it wasn’t just the facts about the fire would quickly burn out
But it was emotional I melted by every breath she took for a brief time before I released her I
Was enlarged I wasn’t just stomping around doing my duty my life was altered because of the
Most gentle nature my human nature was redirected I went back in millennia when we were all
One peaceful family before the animal took the path of tooth and claw and man from the club
To the gun in the peaceful shadow of a summer afternoon the one this piece is about came
Over To visit this was long before my service time but Janet came she can best be described as
A Young lamb she was identical in spirit as the fawn gentle sweet quiet trusting at first it
Was just another summer day but then she changed the atmosphere she started asking me
Questions about life I would barely get done answering one question then she would ask
Another Know this I never take it lightly when someone ask for my help I would have answered
With Tears if I known the future she was the rarest flower its where wonder lifts you out of the
Established course you stumble and tumble down among perfect surprises important designs
Rarely seen they have these tiny explosions perfumed scents tingling misty bubbles burst when
They Touch your face yes you have just been amazed by her purist soul so this special time ends
Life takes over with soothing rhythms to the most part the next time Janet was coming into her
Own sweet sixteen a job at the Dog&Suds root beer stand she was glowing this exquisite flower
Was on the threshold of life that we talked about two or three years before just beginning to
Blossom then the promise was forever canceled all words that we exchanged shriveled under
Leukemia’s murderous hand all the blissful hopes and dreams vanished when her eyes closed
For the last time in this realm because her family is gone I fear she will be forgotten that would
Be tragic and even cruel to lose sight of such a delightful soul Janet Henderson you will never be
Forgotten by me God bless your memory
the sky was out of place in this night sky.. it was as if this night was not real.. but it was.. there was a feeling of leaving always.. as if the night was saying goodbye to me every second i was in it.. it was quite enchanting being here.. things were not in their right place.. pictures on the walls were alive.. even the luster of the stars in the sky spoke of flase beautiful magic.. almost as if a child drew them upon the shadowy blanket dark sky..
A lone cloud passes by and takes me with it.. for a moment i am above this night.. i see my old street where i grew up.. i see my brother pulling me in our red wagon.. fireflies gather around us.. the baby pine trees begin to dance in the wind.. the night starts to feel fresh again.. the air taste so good..
i am back to my first home.. i go inside my first room.. and go straight to my old toy box.. the wonders i see.. all of my old toys light up my memories.. the room grows dark and my old night light glows upon me.. once i was afraid of the shadows there.. now i see them and become one with them.. shadows of the soul.. I awake from a dream of my past.. I see clear my memory shell and how it pieces together..
volcanos form at the end of my wrist, erupting with every glide of the blade.
The lava flows and doesn't stop, but this time I'm not afraid
When I put water on the spot of red, it burns just as lava should. but it's not enough to make me dead.
I close my eyes and take another swipe and because this one is finally deep enough, it'll all be alright.
I open my eyes and look out the window at the many stars. then down at my many scars.
I look at the sky, saying my last goodbye, I slip off into the night.
What do you want from me?
What do you need from me?
We are a car that is about to crash
Sometimes thinks are meant to be broken for a reason
This time I don't have the fucking answers you want
I'm torn between love and hate
how can I hate someone that I was so in love with?
but how can I love someone that just used to hurt me?
I'm so afraid
My head is full of fear
I want you
But then I want you to go away
My mind is always changing
I can never stay on one fucking page
Well you know that I sip on my sadness, my dear,
Filthy palms, filled to the brim.
And I know that you watch those trains passing by
Dizzy eyed, still drunk with sin.
Your teeth reek of reality lately,
You smile facts, figures and cracked calcium.
Now, once more with cupped hands leaking, shaking
Delirium up to your chin.
Well I know that I’ve missed the point, honey
I should get it tattooed on my wrists,
But you know that you talk like firecrackers
So flinching gets awful hard to resist.
I make believe that I’m right like craters
make moons believe.
So I’ll comment on comets and ignore truths
popping between parentheses.
You say, “It’s fiction we live in
You play in pastels
and fake hollywood rhythms
and I’m tired, staring up at your screen.
You're addicted to this diction
My voice is lost, screaming
these words you keep stealing
and twist for yourself what they mean."
Sometimes we sit soaked to the waist in nothing
Fringe Wolves snarl, drool and moan;
I’m afraid that this desert’s left them starving
They crave marrow within bone.
Dripping teeth, curled clawed toes and howling
I swear they feed every time that we breathe.
By cinderblock, flashfloods or whirlpools
Just drown us properly.
Well, one day we’ll resurface to find ghosts reborn
from hallowed shells of Fringe Wolves
Who waltz wicked and crooked a foxtrot to show
sometimes loss is beautiful.
And when I ask for your hand you’ll look tragic
like you never saw what I see
When you walk away, I’m toe-tapping
to some song you kept whispering.
You say, “It’s fiction we live in.
It’s intended for men like you,
but I've watched you drain out in my palm."
This clothing, from bedpost to box-spring,
It's all wax-coats and smoke screens,
live lit-candle lasting
When did skin begin to fit wrong?
So when they ask for me at the after party
With neon eyes and harlot tongues,
You can tell them I traded this stale air in
For forest fires and tornado lungs.
'Cause I’ve been reading up in matchbooks
how to ignite with star-gazer eyes.
So feel free to maintain your Truth
but pardon me while I burn up in Lie.
The world is Gray,
A slate wiped clean.
One day, I wandered
from pane to pane,
glancing out windows,
dreading Gray, the bête noire,
now it's come,
now it shall stay,
let me explain tomorrow's day.
A light erased the colors I knew;
came from dawn, swept on through,
break by break, it grew and grew,
morning fell, the horrors new,
my world of Gray appeared.
So now I wait for your return;
you took it all,
where've you been?
you took it all, all for your own,
and now I reap what's never sown.
The children sleep,
they do not know:
the things they seek
will never grow;
The children sleep,
they'll never see
what was a color means,
what it could be;
The children sleep,
they cannot know
how dawn has stolen what we know.
Drizzle, drizzle, rain outside,
you stole my heart and now you've died,
you stole the rain, yet now it pours,
I'm blocked by windows, hidden doors,
the day is darker, starker, gone,
the Gray has come, the game is on.
Flickering candles shall know no light,
the Gray-ness will take over night;
Ice will fall, winter's here,
Still, the Gray is crystal clear.
Cool, uncaring, blood seeps from the sky,
or maybe not,
Who knows, when all the world is Gray with fear?
The children sleep soundlessly,
forever marked in harmony.
The children sleep a dreadful sleep,
they will not wake,
Oh! the dreadful steps we take?
The children sleep a dying sleep,
the Gray has taken them.
The Gray has come, my dear,
are you now, too, drawing near?
Will you stay for one last dance?
Help me from this horrid trance.
Will you help me shake my fear
that only appears when Gray is near?
the children sleep,
the rain, it falls;
Shh! The Gray, it listens.
Time's up, I'm afraid,
the Gray is here,
so very near,
it scorches with it's burning sneer,
Tick tock, tick tock,
time's up, my dear.
And as you- can very well see,
the Gray has taken over me,
and there upon an evening clear,
at thirteen o'clock, the time that's feared,
the Blackness began drawing near.