I need incentive to write
Living a happy life
I need a heart
To the misery
You planted with your knife
I need my time
To be back
When we fight
I need air
To feel my lungs
Exhaling you out
I need light
To spot you
Leaving my sight
I need ears
The lies you weaved so tight
I need my mind
The promises you say
Then kill over night
I need incentive to write
To warn others
To tell innocents
How all this was never right
May 29th, 2016
The primary obstacles preventing One from following One's Heart
seem to be the incalculable bullshit excuses in One's head
ultimately serving to justify a lack of proper effort-
to justify stagnation, complacency, and laziness.
Overcome them or be overcome by them.
You shall never know if you never try.
One who doesn't try
precludes any chance of future success.
One who doesn't care
is unworthy of what success may otherwise be actualized.
Take the incentive to cultivate the Mind.
Have the courage to follow your Heart.
Have the Heart to help others do the same.
Echoing in a room of memories
Struggling to understand themselves
Words stuck on a ruined tongue
Aiming to become anew
Benefits of a scam
Of a game
Of a plan
But the benefits of a failure?
That's one to undermine your proficiency
Not excluding the fact that your allocation of thoughts are all over the place
Varying off center
But carried efficiently
Like the assumption of happiness
Of trust and honesty
Subtle hints that should not be ignored
Regardless of the fact that you're in another's door
And i'm highlighting the points that should have stood out
Screaming, get out.
Yes it is, go slam poetry
I told you slow was manageable.
I told you I understood.
So forgive me for waking up feeling like time should no longer be wasted.
Because suddenly I realized that you never took the time to understand.
And suddenly I was aware that true love does not waste.
It began when I felt myself pushing away in my mind.
But it manifested itself in that extra space between us when we sat by the water.
And then was when I recognized how I hold you a little less and just a little less tightly.
I recognized how I no longer search the crowded room for those eyes,
or gaze at your face every time we drive.
Because I can't ever feel the pain again, the pain that is far too familiar.
And I saw it coming when I finally looked around the crowd.
I was suddenly aware of how much I have given,
and that now I have nothing left.
The more I let go of, the more I thought I would get something better in return.
The more I thought that the love I wanted was worth more than everything I could ever have.
But with nothing left to give, I still do not have what I struggled to attain for so long.
With nothing left to give, I realize that I never stopped half way, I just kept going.
I kept going so far that you did not even have to blink an eye.
So far that it pains me to have come to the realization,
that it is time to turn around.
Go backwards on what brought me so far, and what could have brought me further.
But everyone needs the slightest incentive to keep going.
And you never even blinked an eye.
Head held high, flexing the shell
bright lifestyle, I know it too well.
It’s a tall tale to tell but its best that you know
that things get better at the end of the road
Not too long ago, I felt the same way
I dealt with demons that crept in the grey
And maybe it’s hard enough to ask for help
but it’s harder to watch yourself
give up once you’ve left the shelf
Nah, I couldn’t stomach the pain
like a trumpet, I blew the in out of sane.
I popped open a vein to paint my blues, violet
and threw a pair of cans on to block out the silence.
I’m not defiant; I defy any tyrant
that tries to buy my compliance.
I ride with the giants, stride like Midas
minus the greed, all I need is kindness.
Spread your wings; shed the ego
live amid the kings like a needle.
Be your own hero, succeed the sequel
take charge, zero in on the easel.
Reach for the stars, you are an artist
Van Gough goals; erase all the hardships.
I may try my hardest
but I’m not the smartest
but good work ethic leads to a harvest.
Reap my carcass, long after I’m gone,
brains over brawn, shame on you all
for thinking that these walls can hold me in.
You get the memo? I’m better than I’ve ever been.
Binge drinking is a sickness in itself
try to kill the pain but the pain kills the help
as well as low thinking it will kill your brain cells
if you try to kill the pain, you will kill yourself
© Matthew Harlovic