I had a genuinely good night tonight. I went to a party and talked to people. I held a drink and laughed when things were funny. And for once it was easy. It wasn't like I didn't belong and always had to be conscious of how I was acting. I just flowed and meshed in with everyone else naturally. It was wonderfully weird.
Maybe I'll try it again sometime.
i'm starting to do that thing where i'm always afraid that i'm annoying people, which is why i sat in the empty seat in the back row of english today.
you used to notice that kind of thing because you were doing it, too. but now you're better and no longer have to hide. and i'm left by myself, in the back of the room, bitter as fuck.
Unlike most people I know who make friends everywhere they go;
I have trouble interacting with others.
It took me all long time to make friends,
sure people would talk to me but
I guess they’d got bored
cause they never tried speaking to me again.
I try to make friends once and a while,
but sometimes we have nothing in common
so I stop interacting with them.
Either way I’m going to have to start to learn
how to make friends,
I can’t be a loner forever.
Or can I?
Rays of light
Suspended in space
Rays of light that float through time
These rays of light are in our hearts
Connecting us through time and space
We are all rays of light
Propagating through space
Interacting with each other
In different ways
Interacting with each other
So that we create this chaotic mess
That somehow has a beautiful order
And when you step back and look at it all
You start to realize just how beautiful
Our rays of light really are
lives are smears of color
across the world canvas.
pixels in a picture,
impressionist dots of color
interacting with the various
other dots of color
one big painting
such is our significance
as self aware art.
we may only get one brush stroke,
but we can nudge what direction it goes.
Sequent occupations of the landscape diachronically
Consisting of Action, Search, and Awareness Spaces
The foci of people comprehensively
Interacting with their place
Where people go
To fulfill specific needs
Those places people are aware of
But do not interact directly
These spaces that appear as palimsests
Accumulated layers of action, search and awareness
Comprehending persistent places is to understand the past
Your touch melts my skin
Seconds passed as the sunset sinks
Your pipe blew me breeze
Different night but same old routine
Sitting by this window pane
Interacting alone with selfless pain
Why have you brought me here again
In this dark space empty terrain
Please give me an answer
I'm desperate to ask questions
Mind intercepted while words devoured
Disconnecting me from your reality
My heart just want to keep me real
@2014 Maman Screams
So very long we have sat together, you and I.
It has become apparent that you care so
Little about small talk or discourse or
Even interacting with me at all outside of your own convenience.
Now, after all these months, I analyze and wonder: Do you even
Care at all about me? Or have I simply existed
Ephemerally to you all along?