Jan 1

V: C'est la vie.

A: Vous croyez? Pourquoi?

V: Ma vie n'est pas belle.

A: Ouais? Je ne pense pas que moi-même. Vous êtes très belle, intelligente, et génial! Je t'aime beaucoup.

V: Oui, je le suis. Mais ma vie n'est pas. Vous voyez?

A: Je ne sais pas. Vous pensez trop petit de vous-même. Vous devez sourire.

V: Je pense que vous pensez trop haute opinion de moi.

V: Je t'aime.

A: Je t'aime aussi.

Oct 6, 2013

not that stuff that's in you, just the expression.
did you hear?
things have changed between us.
didn't you notice?
how could you be surprised?
i never let you think otherwise.
i'm bad for you.
don't you see that?
there's nothing that will change my mind, it's been made up.
i just want you to go.
*l    e    a    v    e *

Feb 27, 2012

I’m alone, but it’s okay.
I’ll find someone another day.
As much as I complain,
Or pretend I don’t care,
I’ll admit that I do, and end the conversation there.
These days by myself haven’t been so bad,
In time I’ve forgotten that I’m supposed to be sad.
I’m content where I am and I’m enjoying the ride,
But I guess there’s still loneliness, deep down inside.
But don't interrupt my silence, please just let me be.
Because right now has a name, and its called, "Single Me"
                  I guess that's just the way, it's simply meant to be.

Nov 3, 2013

Wallflower child
Beautiful baby
You've yet to spread your wings and fly
Are you scared of the world around you?
Baby I won't lie, it can hurt you
It can kill you, truly
But you can't let that stop you
If you get sick you get cured
If you lose a job you find another
If you love and are broken in turn
You put those pieces back together
Because baby, you're strong
Baby you are amazing
Magnificent in your own ways
My pretty yellow infant you are the world
Even if you don't know it yet
So conquer it darling

Spread your wings and fly

Feb 23

a word that marks finality
yet seems to encourage improvement
like how we are (were) absolutely perfect for each other
yet you went seeking for someone better
though I would hesitate
to call her arm improvement
and I know you were sincere
when you softly cried your apologies
but it is so hard, you see
to believe in a word like that when it surrounded my entirety
though I absolutely hate you
and I absolutely loathe her
I don't really
because absolute is not a real thing
not a real way to measure the mercuriality
of the human race
of you
of me
of we

May 27

This is my goodbye letter:

   I hope to never see you face again. Not because I hate it, but because I hate the way it makes me feel. I don't like feeling confused when one shan't be confused. It does not sit well with me. There are many emotions I have come into check with but confusement is where I draw the thickest and final line. I must say I adored you, and idolized and revered you. I never saw myself beside you until you made it slightly apparent I was worth it. But that picture was never drawn, was it? It was never meant for us to be one no matter how much I yearned for it. We cannot simply be together so we must be far, far apart. So adieu, my neverwaslove, I hope I never see you again.
          Very Insincerely,                  
Broken and Unsatisfied

Aug 10

He was like a plastic bag, but the
non-translucent kind...
the kind that you could call foggy
The kind that you didn't know the contents of until you reached in and pulled them out
With him you had to be smart enough
to check what you were pulling out first or there could be a fight
He was not the type to accept impatience
Especially if he was the one being rushed
If it was raining you could be sure he wanted to sit in it
Not sing, or dance, or run
Just sit in the grass and let the raindrops trickle down his neck
That's how patient he was
Until he met me
I begged, maybe too much in the beginning but I was always
"Go, go, go" when he was ready to rest and I did not catch his initial irritation
I did not pay attention to his needs but he worked overtime attending to mine
and that's what made him the most patient in the beginning
It was not our love or my running that got old
No, it was some greater force
Like the one between two magnets driving us further apart
the closer we tried to get
The day he lost his patience with me was the day I found my ignorance and recognized my wrongs
Though I did not correct or accept either
And he walked away with no regrets while I tried to figure this empty feeling I think he left
But I couldn't be sure because I never felt full with him here
I never felt full but I emptied him out
I pulled all the items out the plastic bag
without looking first

Apr 12

I watched him like I watch sunsets...
With my breath held waiting for him to disappear
To my surprise he never did

Could it have been possible he was just an apparition?
May 16

Lightning (in their eyes)
• dangerous
• force to be reckoned
• skin peeling from impact
• must stay away, must stay away
• irrational fear
• terrifyingly easy way to die

Lightning (in my eyes)
• tantalizing
• giver of unseen life
• glowing skin and electric scars
• need to be close to
• pure energy, causing extreme wanderlust
• something so beautiful, could it kill me?

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