like an aspen tree, i am deciduous and bare
Jul 14, 2013

There is nothing to syphen from my roots
like an aspen tree, i am deciduous and bare
eating my teeth, and I am embarrassed to be a tree
I am just a leaf that always leaves with the breeze
I am just a thief that always purges you clean
alcohol by night and salt by morning

Leaves you deep in the forest
With a burning cigarette at our feet
None of the animals will be able to breathe
and i will burst up in flames
as the pine needles begin to steam
i will ask you your name
with the same eyes as the first time you met me

after the first forest fire breaks free
i will fall to flaming embers
they left in me. when all my love burns out
I will bury the seeds of loathing and doubt
And let a new seedling sprout from the mire
so please rain on me because it's a thirsty thing
to be a guilty liar, to lie there waiting for spring

Felony is effortlessly sweet, like mary my soils will wash your feet
i can hold your hand and i can swear I’m devout but maybe
Not for the things you expect and want me to be
But then again you never
Heard me out
so how were you to know such things

unless you had sunken into me for years
you wouldn't have even seen me unfold
to be what i have come to be
you see none of that
Just drink the sweet sap from my bark
Let me be I’ll let you be
but i don't care really, i am stark
i am learning that silence is
a byzantine art

I will go and be free
i will find time to mend your broken knee
And be on my way within the day
The analgesia will feel like a painful heave
but it crumbles into a catatonic comatose sea
when the shores of nighttime reach me

The love will not feel at all
my branches will be sore but i'm more concerned
with your condition after you fall
into the foaming meelee of chances swarthed beneath
i feel your pulse from down on the ground at my feet
in the knots of my trunk, achy knocking knees,
each frustrated knot tied into the fabric of exorbitance,
freezes my itches to an earsplitting pitch
how much can i be for others when i'm unsure
of what i was supposed to be to begin with
all i know is that i was a sapling once
so long ago i barely remember
all i am is me

Jan 1

V: C'est la vie.

A: Vous croyez? Pourquoi?

V: Ma vie n'est pas belle.

A: Ouais? Je ne pense pas que moi-même. Vous êtes très belle, intelligente, et génial! Je t'aime beaucoup.

V: Oui, je le suis. Mais ma vie n'est pas. Vous voyez?

A: Je ne sais pas. Vous pensez trop petit de vous-même. Vous devez sourire.

V: Je pense que vous pensez trop haute opinion de moi.

V: Je t'aime.

A: Je t'aime aussi.

Oct 6, 2013

not that stuff that's in you, just the expression.
did you hear?
things have changed between us.
didn't you notice?
how could you be surprised?
i never let you think otherwise.
i'm bad for you.
don't you see that?
there's nothing that will change my mind, it's been made up.
i just want you to go.
*l    e    a    v    e *

Feb 27, 2012

I’m alone, but it’s okay.
I’ll find someone another day.
As much as I complain,
Or pretend I don’t care,
I’ll admit that I do, and end the conversation there.
These days by myself haven’t been so bad,
In time I’ve forgotten that I’m supposed to be sad.
I’m content where I am and I’m enjoying the ride,
But I guess there’s still loneliness, deep down inside.
But don't interrupt my silence, please just let me be.
Because right now has a name, and its called, "Single Me"
                  I guess that's just the way, it's simply meant to be.

Nov 3, 2013

Wallflower child
Beautiful baby
You've yet to spread your wings and fly
Are you scared of the world around you?
Baby I won't lie, it can hurt you
It can kill you, truly
But you can't let that stop you
If you get sick you get cured
If you lose a job you find another
If you love and are broken in turn
You put those pieces back together
Because baby, you're strong
Baby you are amazing
Magnificent in your own ways
My pretty yellow infant you are the world
Even if you don't know it yet
So conquer it darling

Spread your wings and fly

Feb 23

a word that marks finality
yet seems to encourage improvement
like how we are (were) absolutely perfect for each other
yet you went seeking for someone better
though I would hesitate
to call her arm improvement
and I know you were sincere
when you softly cried your apologies
but it is so hard, you see
to believe in a word like that when it surrounded my entirety
though I absolutely hate you
and I absolutely loathe her
I don't really
because absolute is not a real thing
not a real way to measure the mercuriality
of the human race
of you
of me
of we

May 27

This is my goodbye letter:

   I hope to never see you face again. Not because I hate it, but because I hate the way it makes me feel. I don't like feeling confused when one shan't be confused. It does not sit well with me. There are many emotions I have come into check with but confusement is where I draw the thickest and final line. I must say I adored you, and idolized and revered you. I never saw myself beside you until you made it slightly apparent I was worth it. But that picture was never drawn, was it? It was never meant for us to be one no matter how much I yearned for it. We cannot simply be together so we must be far, far apart. So adieu, my neverwaslove, I hope I never see you again.
          Very Insincerely,                  
Broken and Unsatisfied

Apr 12

I watched him like I watch sunsets...
With my breath held waiting for him to disappear
To my surprise he never did

Could it have been possible he was just an apparition?
May 16

Lightning (in their eyes)
• dangerous
• force to be reckoned
• skin peeling from impact
• must stay away, must stay away
• irrational fear
• terrifyingly easy way to die

Lightning (in my eyes)
• tantalizing
• giver of unseen life
• glowing skin and electric scars
• need to be close to
• pure energy, causing extreme wanderlust
• something so beautiful, could it kill me?

Jun 6

are the colors of your eyes
are the contours of your jaw
is the bridge of your nose
are the palms of your hands
so why do I have to repeatedly tell myself

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